(Quick Disclaimer: I got all the photos from the internet. The credit goes to the real owners of the pics)

 

 

The Military - Part I

 

10th October 2015

 

Lee Hyukjae hurried towards his apartment while pulling his cap low, effectively shielding his face. It was only when he was standing in front of his door did he feel a sense of relief coming over him.

 

That of course didn’t last long since as soon as he entered his home, he almost had a heart attack seeing that the lights were on when he clearly turned it off when he left. He cursed himself for reacting to it yet again, taking his cap and coat off, placing it on the table as he glanced at the intruder in his house in fond exasperation.

 

“You’d think one of these days I’d get used to you showing up unannounced.” He joked.

 

The said intruder was comfortably lying on Hyukjae’s sofa, wearing a plain white shirt and a pair of jeans, resting his head on his arm, looking like a model so effortlessly. 

 

Donghae smiled before opening his eyes to greet Hyukjae. However, the words seemed to get caught on his throat as he stared at Hyukjae completely bewildered. His jaw dropped.

 

“What?” Hyukjae asked defensively.

 

Feeling insecure, reach reached out to tug his locks down over his forehead but stopped midway remembering that there was no hair left for him to do that. 

 

“You...You...” Donghae trailed off, tears filling his eyes.

 

Hyukjae’s eyes widened as he rushed over to him, crouching down beside the sofa, cupping Donghae’s cheeks wiping the tears off with his thumbs.

 

“Hey there’s no need to cry about it.” He whispered softly. “You knew I had to get it done anyway. Come on don’t cry. I’ll let you tease me about it all you want.”

 

Donghae ran his fingers through the remnants of what used to be luscious auburn hair. Now it was cropped short revealing Hyukjae’s forehead. Donghae sighed.

 

“It’s really happening isn’t it?”He asked his voice breaking.

 

“It’s only for two years. Then I’ll be by your side for as long as you want me.” Hyukjae gently reminded. 

 

Donghae’s hand reached out to caress the other’s cheek. Hyukjae placed a soft kiss on the inside of his palm, smiling as he felt the cold metal of the ring against his face.

 

“After that we’ll have all the time we need.” He repeated, linking their hands together. 

 

Two matching platinum bands glistened holding a silent promise.

 

“Yes. Yes we will.” Donghae nodded murmuring almost to himself.

 

He shook the negative thoughts that were overwhelming him away, moving aside to give Hyukjae space in the couch. The other gladly joined, wrapping an arm around his waist placing kisses to the brunette’s wavy hair.

 

“You look like a monkey.” Donghae said after a minute of silence.

 

“I was waiting for you to start that.” Hyukjae chuckled.

 

“You always looked like one anyway. Now that you’re bald, you really do look like a monkey.”

 

“Yah! I’m not bald! I still have hair!” Hyukjae exclaimed. 

 

“Whatever you say.” Donghae said playfully, nuzzling against the other’s chest.

 

“Like you’d look any better with a military haircut.”  He scoffed.

 

“I will and we both know it.” Donghae teased.

 

“Yeah you will.” Hyukjae admitted smiling fondly. “Everyone knows that. You have nothing to worry about.”

 

Donghae immediately looked up and frowned. The other gazed at him with puzzled eyes.

 

“I was just kidding. You look good with short hair. Very manly.” He whispered. “The fans will think so too.”

 

Hyukjae’s plump lips spread into a gummy smile as he yet again wondered how the man in his arms knew exactly what he was feeling without him even having to voice his thoughts.

 

“It’s fine Hae. It’s just an old habit to care about public’s opinion on my looks. I don’t mind anymore. I only care about yours.”

 

“You shouldn’t care about my opinion either.” Donghae stated seriously, his frown deepening.

 

The other reached down to kiss his thin lips, hoping to erase the concern off his face.

 

“Well I do. You’re the most important person in my life, Donghae.” He said smiling.

 

Donghae couldn’t stop the blush spreading across his face at the others loving words.

 

“Well in that case, let me tell you. Lee Hyukjae you are the most beautiful precious human being I’ve ever met. You are good looking and you should never let anyone tell you otherwise.” Donghae said enunciating every word carefully.

 

Just like that, all the insecurities that stormed Hyukjae during the day disappeared with his lover’s words. 

 

“Thank you, Hae.” He murmured tightening his grip on the other as Donghae buried his head in his chest. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.” Was the muffled reply.

 

•••

 

13th October 2015

 

Hyukjae stood in Chuncheon, Gangwon Province looking at the masses of fans gathered to send him off into the military. He honestly didn’t think that this many people would show up and felt touched by the encouraging shouts he received.

 

Leeteuk and Kangin were there with him, standing by Hyukjae one last time before sending him off. 

 

The leader was emotional, trying to mask his tears behind a pair of sunglasses that fooled no one.

 

“It’ll be over before you now it, Hyuk.” Leeteuk whispered as he hugged him. “Be safe and healthy. We’ll be waiting for you to come back to us.”

 

Hyukjae buried his head in the other’s shoulder savoring the familiar feeling of family before he got thrown into a completely new environment where he had to fend for himself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kangin then pulled Hyukjae into a warm embrace too, his eyes uncharacteristically filling up with tears.

 

“Be safe kid. Super Junior will be waiting for you.” He said gruffly.

 

Hyukjae felt his composure almost break as he realized that he was truely going to be alone from now onwards. He gripped the fabric of Kangin’s shirt tightly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When he pulled away, Hyukjae felt an overwhelming sense of despair in the pit of his stomach as he faced the fans. He so badly wanted to ignore the horrible feeling but he couldn’t.

 

Because Donghae wasn’t there.

 

The vehicle that would drive him to the military base was supposed to arrive any minute now.Hyukjae stood by the door of his apartment, gaping at Donghae in disbelief.

 

“What do you mean you’re not coming to send me off?!”

 

Donghae sighed looking up at him with heart broken eyes as he reached out to adjust the collar of his lover’s hoodie.

 

“Hyuk, I can’t come.” He started his voice shaking in effort to keep his emotions under control. “You know that I’ll end up crying my eyes out and clinging onto you if I do. The both of us will end up doing something that’ll probably cause a scandal and the military will be living hell for us. And we’ll regret it for the rest of our lives.”

 

Hyukjae shook his head vigorously, refusing to admit the fact that Donghae was acting rationally. 

 

“I’ll behave myself.” He denied his lover’s words desperately, forcefully pulling Donghae into his arms. “You have to come with me. I can’t do this without you.”

 

“Hyukkie, I want to. I really do.” Donghae said tears streaming down his face. “We won’t be able to keep our relationship a secret if I come with you. And you know how homophobic the public is.”

 

“Well screw them!” Hyukjae cried out, letting out all the emotions he had been holding in. 

 

It was ironic how their thoughts switched just like that since it was usually Hyukjae himself who was cautious about revealing their relationship  while Donghae was more easy going.

 

“Please listen to me, Hyukjae.” He muttered. “It’s for the best. And deep down you know that too. It’s only two years and we can visit each other when we’re on vacation. We aren’t going to be separated forever. You’ll be fine in the army. You can adapt well to new things anyway.”

 

“I’m going to miss you.” Hyukjae sniffled, trying to wipe away the other’s tears even though he himself was crying himself.

 

“I’m going to miss you too.” The other replied his voice breaking. “Try not to fall out of love with me. We have a wedding to plan when we come back.”

 

Hyukjae stared at him in disbelief for a couple of seconds before slamming Donghae against the nearest wall and kissing the living daylights out of him, trying to convey his feelings through it.

 

“As if I could ever fall out of love with you, you idiot.” He said once they pulled apart with swollen lips and puffy eyes. “You’re always going to be my idiot.”

 

While furiously trying to blink back his tears, Hyukjae found himself running a hand through his short cropped hair trying to remember the way Donghae used to caress it.

 

He smiled at the cameras brightly, attempting to hide his watery eyes. 

 

 

Hyukjae thought that his reaction to being separated with Donghae would seem ridiculous to some people but when you leave a person who you love so dearly behind and enter a foreign world full of strangers you can’t help but desperately long for that one person who won’t judge you no matter what. The person who would stand by you through thick and thin.

 

Donghae walked him to the vehicle where Leeteuk and Kangin stood waiting for them. 

 

“This is it.” Donghae breathed out, trying not to burst into tears again. “Please be safe. Remember that I love you.”

 

Hyukjae wrapped his arms around Donghae pulling him to a tight hug.

 

“You be safe too. And stay healthy.” He murmured. “I love you, Hae. So much.”

 

Hyukjae shakily held the microphone as he greeted the fans.

 

“It’s so cold this morning but thank you for everyone who came out. It is the duty of every Korean man to defend their country so I will serve and come back safely.” He said. “Please be healthy while I’m away and I’ll return to my activities as Super Junior’s Eunhyuk after my service.”

 

I’ll return as Donghae’s Hyukjae. Wait for me till then, my love.

•••
 

15th October 2015

 

Donghae’s enlistment was slightly calmer. Since Hyukjae had already left he had no regrets of leaving the man he loved behind. He wasn’t really sure how he was going to manage being in a totally different environment, but he knew that he’ll somehow manage to pull through.

 

He grinned as he waved at Sehun, Suho, Chanyeol and Zhoumi who had come to send him off into the army. 

 

 

 

Sehun specially had been emotional, trying not to cry as he said his goodbyes to one of his most favorite Hyungs. They had all wished him a happy birthday before telling him that they’ll miss him.

 

Donghae suppresses all the emotions that were threatening to make an appearance instead had his head held high as he officially entered the military.

 

 

He knew that he was going to miss Super Junior and s dearly. After all they were his family who was there for him every step of the way. Both Donghae and Hyukjae had made sure to properly say their goodbyes to their members. He tried not not think about it too much as he walked through the crowds of fans.

 

Donghae knew he was going to feel Hyukjae’s absence even more. They had constantly been in each other’s lives for the past decade and for someone so important to disappear out of your life suddenly was too much to handle. Donghae took a deep breath and reminded himself of the time after the army when they could stay with each other for as long as they wanted.

 

I’ll come back to you, Hyukjae. Wait for me.

 

•••

 

Sitting on a bed clutching a duvet, halfway across the world was not where Leeteuk wanted to be on Donghae’s enlistment day. But of course fate and SM’s schedules were merciless as ever, which is why he ended up in Switzerland with Ryeowook instead of sending off into the army.

 

Leeteuk managed to get through the day, only shedding a few tears in front of the eternal maknae, before locking himself inside his room and proceeding to bawl his eyes out.

 

He felt as if though he committed a mortal sin by not being there for Donghae today. He couldn’t help but feel utterly disgusted at himself. He had failed Donghae.

 

His self loathing track of thoughts was cut out by a familiar ringtone echoing across the room. Leeteuk looked down at the caller ID.

 

“Did your filming finish?” He asked not even bothering with a greeting.

 

“I had a feeling that you won’t be asleep. Isn’t it around midnight over there?”A deep voice replied.

 

“How can I sleep when I just sent Donghae in there alone?!” Leeteuk exclaimed shrilly.

 

“There wasn’t anything you could do about it. The schedules were already made.” 

 

“But still I should have tried harder to change it! I should’ve been there for him.” Leeteuk cried out. 

 

“He’s going to be fine. He said so himself.” Was the reply Leeteuk received.

 

“But it’s Donghae we’re talking about! He’s going to be fine for the first few days, he’ll make new friends and have fun. He’s going to treat it like a trip. But as soon as he realizes that it’s a permanent stay, he’s going to get depressed!”

 

There was a silence in the other end of the line that confirmed Leeteuk’s thoughts which sent him to a hysterical frenzy.

 

“And he’s going to be alone at night! He hates sleeping alone. Even when he wasn’t with Hyukjae he came to one of us because he gets  nightmares easily! What if he wakes up in the middle of the night and there’s no one to comfort him?!”

 

It was clear that the caller had no reply to console the leader with. Leeteuk continued ranting into the phone, releasing all the thoughts that had been plaguing his mind.

 

“What if he gets scolded by an instructor?! You know how sad he gets when someone gets angry at him. What if he cries and there’s no one there to look out for him?! What if he ends up thinking we all abandoned him when we have to do group activities without him?! Or what if he meets someone who’ll take advantage of him?! He trusts people too much and there’s no one to protect him in the army.”

 

“Oh god, what if he gets bullied?!!” Leeteuk screeched horrified. 

 

“Tell me, Kim Heechul! Dammit! What will we do if he gets bullied?!!” The leader yelled at the phone, his voice reverberating across the room. 

 

“I don’t know what to say.” Heechul answered sighing.

 

Leeteuk panted, clutching the phone to his ear with a death grip.

 

“I don’t know what to say, when I’ve been thinking the same thing.” Heechul repeated, sounding defeated.

 

The leader laid his head down on the pillows, desperately trying to find some way  to comfort his despairing thoughts. He knew that Heechul was as worried as he was.

 

“Did he say anything when he stayed with you?” Leeteuk asked instead.

 

Donghae had stayed over at Heechul’s the day Hyukjae left but spent the last day before his enlistment with his family.

 

“He said that he’ll miss us. And told me not to forget him.” 

 

Leeteuk could imagine him saying something like that. Only Donghae would worry about losing the love of s while he was away.

 

“You told him right?” Leeteuk questioned feeling slightly happier that at least Heechul had been there with Donghae. 

 

“Of course. I reminded him that we loved him unconditionally.” There was a smile in Heechul’s voice. “I spent the entire day with him watching movies. I ended up cooking dumpling soup too. It took a lot of self control not to take the spoon and feed him myself.”

 

The leader smiled for the first time that day.

 

“Did you tuck him into bed?” He asked.

 

There was no mockery in his voice. Just a nostalgic tone with a hint of reassurance and comfort.

 

“Yeah. And I let him cuddle me all night. Even told him a bedtime story.” Heechul chuckled.

 

“You did?” Leeteuk raised a brow.

 

“I’ll never be as good as you at making up stories spontaneously. But I told Donghae about a story where thirteen elves conquer the world.” He replied laughing.

 

Leeteuk laughed along with him.

 

“Are we being too over protective about this?” He asked softly.

 

“I don’t think so. But when I told Hodong about this at Knowing Bro’s, he laughed at my face and told me to stop treating Donghae like a baby.” Heechul deadpanned.

 

“He’ll understand when his own son goes to the army.” Leeteuk scoffed.

 

“I told him that Donghae was my baby.” Heechul confirmed.

 

“What are we going to do, Heechul?” Leeteuk asked softly. “I know Hyukjae’s going to be just fine. It’s Donghae I can’t help but be worried about.”

 

“I feel the same way. Donghae craves love and attention. We’ve always been there to give him that. I don’t know how he’ll adjust to the military.” Heechul sighed.

 

“Hyukjae’s not there with him. Everything is so much more worse when those two are separated.” Leeteuk said.

 

“All we can do for now is hope for the best. Let’s go meet him as soon as they let us.” Heechul replied firmly. “You should go to sleep now. It’s almost morning anyway.”

 

“Yeah I will. Goodnight, Heechul.” The leader murmured. “Thank you for being there for me.”

 

“Goodnight, Jungsoo-ya. Sleep well.”

 

•••
 

Somewhere in the military

 

If you asked a bystander, they would say that Hyukjae was getting along just fine. He fitted in with the other soldiers right way making friends and winning the admiration of the superior officers.

 

He was naturally athletic too. Since he had a career as an idol group’s main dancer for almost a decade, he was physically fit with a good stamina that suited the army. And of course, his team work was immaculate. After surviving all those years with a chaotic group of people that liked to call themselves Super Junior, there was no argument he couldn’t solve. No compromise he couldn’t make.

 

Above all, Hyukjae was a good leader. There was a reason he took Leeteuk’s position when he served in the military after all. He quickly raised through the ranks, gaining the respect of many of his fellow soldiers.

 

So from an outsiders opinion Hyukjae seemed happy and content. And he really was. But there were some things he hated about the army too.

 

He hated it when he made a joke and instinctively looked around to see Donghae’s reaction only to remember that he wasn’t there.

 

He hated it when he would fill his chopsticks up with food during lunch and raise it to feed Donghae but then stop midway in realization.

 

He hated it when he was told that he worked well with one of the soldiers during activities when they were paired up, because he knew that it will always be Donghae that he worked the best with.

 

He hated it when he was all alone after a hard day of training, because he remembered how Donghae always showed up at those moments and made his brighter just like that.

 

He especially hated it when he woke up in the cold sheets at night and reached out to bring Donghae’s body closer to his, to snuggle against him, just for his hand to grasp empty air reminding him that his lover wasn’t there with him.

 

However, what he loathed the most was the homophobic slurs he would overhear among the soldiers. Back home their relationship had always been protected by their members and close friends. But out here, all on his own, Hyukjae was painfully reminded of the opinion of the outside world. And Hyukjae hated that he didn’t know if Donghae was going through the same fears. He hated that he couldn’t hold Donghae in his arms and reassure himself that the other was safe. 

 

“What do you miss the most about your life as an idol?” A soldier asked him curiously one day.

 

“The cameras.” He had answered.

 

Donghae. I miss Donghae the most.

 

“The cameras have been there throughout the passed decade, filming us every step of the way. That’s how we got known by our fans. And that’s how our fans get to know about us.”

 

Donghae had been there for me, ever since I got know him during the second year of middle school. He’s the reason I gained the self confidence I have today. He’s the reason I am who I am.

 

“Does it really affect you that much? Living without cameras, I mean.” The soldier had questioned.

 

“Yeah it really does. It gave us a sense of belonging. Now it feels so foreign and lonely.”

 

Wherever Donghae was, it was home.We travelled the world together. I know that it’s by his side that I truely belong.

 

“It must be so cool to have a life like that.” The soldier sighed wistfully. 

 

“Yeah it was.” Hyukjae replied offhandedly.

 

Having Donghae in his life was the best thing that ever happened to him.

 

A few days later Leeteuk came to visit him bringing some heartbreaking news.

 

“What do you mean Donghae’s sick?!” Hyukjae exclaimed fearfully.

 

“I’m sorry Hyuk. They gave him two months leave for him to recover. Donghae didn’t want to worry you but I thought you should know.” Leeteuk said sighing.

 

“I... but... he promised he’d stay healthy...” Hyukjae’s voice broke painfully.

 

“He already had a low immunity. The doctors said that the lack of sleep and stress got to him.” The leader replied. “He’s staying at his family’s house. We’re all visiting him as much as we can. Donghwa Hyung’s there for him too. He’ll be better soon.”

 

“Please look after him for me.” Hyukjae begged as Leeteuk reached out a hand to wipe the tears away. 

 

“I will. I promise.” Leeteuk answered, sincerity shining in his orbs.

 

Hyukjae sat on his bunk bed lost  in a deep thought long after the leader had left.

 

Just then a couple of soldiers passed by him insulting a couple of men who had failed the training that day. The comments soon turned into homophobic slurs as Hyukjae winced at the harsh words.

 

He couldn’t help but flinch, his thoughts drifting back to the man he loved, wondering if the reason for Donghae’s stress had anything to do with their relationship, which wasn’t accepted by the world. Hyukjae cried himself to sleep that night.

 

•••

Months later

 

His first vacation came sooner than Hyukjae expected. He found himself in his apartment waiting for Donghae to arrive as they had planned before their enlistment.

 

The soldier’s comments had really gotten to him. He never doubted his love for the other but now he found himself wondering if Donghae had changed is mind. Someone like Donghae could find someone much better than him in an instant. Old insecurities came flooding in as the time passed ever so slowly.

 

When he finally heard the passcode being typed into his door, Hyukjae couldn’t help but rush forward just as the door closed.

 

Donghae stood in the doorway, wearing a thick coat and a cap over his shaved head, looking as handsome as ever.

 

For a moment, they were both silent. Hyukjae let his gaze wonder over the others form, looking for any sign of injuries that may have been hidden beneath the winter clothes. When his orbs met Donghae’s again as he held his breath. To be honest, Hyukjae half expected for Donghae to break up with him on the spot.

 

While Hyukjae’s overthinking mind was working a mile per minute, Donghae seemed to break out of his trance, stumbling forward right into his lover’s arms.

 

“Hyukkie.” He murmured as he nuzzled his nose against the other’s neck.

 

A overwhelming sense of relief crash down on Hyukjae. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was hugging Donghae, he was sure he probably would have fallen into his knees and cried his eyes out in utter relief because Donghae still loved him.

 

“I missed you.” Donghae whispered, getting rid of his thick coat, letting it fall onto the floor as he sighed in contentment after kissing his lover’s plump lips.

 

“I missed you too, Hae.” Hyukjae replied his voice shaking as his hand reached to take off the other’s cap, running his fingers through his cropped hair.

 

Hyukjae grabbed the other’s thighs lifting him up, as Donghae wrapped his legs around his lovers waist. Donghae had lost weight, he noted offhandedly. Hyukjae carried him to the sofa, laying him down gently before settling down between the other’s legs.

 

“So how have you been?” He asked smiling while placing a kiss against the others jaw.

 

“I was fine.” Donghae answered quickly, snaking his arms around Hyukjae’s neck, gently caressing his nape.

 

Hyukjae shifted his gaze onto his lover’s dark orbs as his smile faded away. 

 

“Teuk Hyung told me what happened Donghae.” He said gently, his eyes full of sadness.

 

Those words did it.Donghae’s eyes welled up with tears. He gave out a choked sob, releasing all the emotions that he had kept suppressed. After all, he was with Hyukjae. Someone Donghae could be himself with without the fear of getting judged.

 

Hyukjae sat up on the sofa, lifting up Donghae along with him onto his lap as he wrapped his arms around the others waist, letting Donghae bury his head in his nape.

 

“It’s alright, Hae. I got you. I’m here.” Hyukjae whispered slowly rocking their bodies till his lover’s sobs reduced to soft sniffles.

 

“I’m sorry, Hyuk. I know I’m being childish.”  Donghae said brokenly. “It’s just that I miss everyone so much. And it’s hard... to deal with things by myself.”

 

“You’re not being childish, Donghae. It’s ok to miss your family.” He explained patiently. “You love the people you’re close to so much that it’s hard for you when they aren’t there. It shows how much you care about them babe. Just remember that you’ll be back home soon. Think of the good times coming up ahead.”

 

“Thanks Hyuk.” Donghae murmured pecking the others cheek. “Thank you for understanding me.”

 

Donghae knew that many would have mocked him, but not Hyukjae. That was one of the things he loved about the other.

 

“Always Hae.” He smiled pressing a adoring kiss in the other’s thin lips.

 

“I missed you the most.” Donghae added. 

 

Hyukjae’s grin widened, knowing what the other was implying.

 

“I love you too.” He answered, tightening his grip on his lover, pulling him closer.

 

They both felt at ease, now that they were back together. It was almost comical how everything seemed to fall into place.

 

Hyukjae admitted about his own difficulties in the army, about how the comments of the soldiers had hurt him deeply. Donghae was quick to reassure him. Donghae and Hyukjae whispered sweet nothings to each other as they both slowly began to heal.

 

After all they were better together than apart.

•••

 

[A/N: This was meant to be a one shot, but I'll upload it in two parts. So Part ii will be published soon!!

Teukchul being overprotective dads was so satisfying to write for some reason. I tried to be as realistic as possible with this and I hope you' enjoyed it!!

 

Thank you for reading!!

And Please comments your thoughts down below~
 

Thanks again!!]