Hello, and happy 2021!

I really just wanted to come up and apologize for the 3-month (yikes) absence and thinking about the future in the long run. 

This story has been up and running for 2 years full (with lots of changes done, of course) and the reason for my hiatus has always been... busy and the sheer overwhelming state of being in university. The past semester has been especially tougher, and I tried to give time to update these chapters early on, but as the months progressed and dealing with more competitive and difficult courses (along with the past mental issues that came up as well as real-life matter and activities), updating this is not even in my priority list (although in all fairness I haven't been wise about managing my time as well). And of course, I'm losing interest in K-pop as a whole as well. 

So yes, I'm on winter break and usually during this time I can be more active and update you guys... but I've felt so guilty about this as well because I'm starting to see the cycle. Every break period I'll be active and kind of giving you all a sense of false hope that maybe one more applyfic will be updated and then going through the semesters and ruining it for you guys. And looking ahead there's just a lot of stuff to think about, but especially career and kind of seeing where I want to do in life. It's selfish that I wasn't thinking of this in the long run, but it hasn't been an easy year and looking ahead it's also a lot of uncertainties in the long run.

Looking at the draft for EMANON it's really sad because I'm planning interesting things for the girls as well as the company as a whole, and I still enjoy writing non-fiction because of how cathartic it is. It's also hypocritical that I'm always advocating for applyfic authors to be responsible and actually finish their stories but I'm struggling so much.

So I guess the point of this page update is to say hi? And try to explain why I've been absent for so long. Usually I'll be asking 'oh are you guys still interested' but honestly no point in doing that now if I'm cycling through life like this. I'm thinking to the front that maybe I'll be burning through chapters before March and saving up loads so I can update regularly (like... once a week), or stopping this altogether.

I'm leaning towards being responsible and finishing what I started instead of running away and because I really do want to see this end well, but I understand if you guys feel really frustrated. Thank you for sticking around in the past two years as well... here's hoping to finish this in 2021. LOL even writing this makes me feel sad already, but let's do our best.

Cheers.

- Canta