🌤️2016🌤️

When they first started to record the song, they didn't know how it will turn out.

The song was good. Hence, it was amazing. Yedam's honey-like voice fitted perfectly to the ballad. It weren't even that surprising, Yedam was a master when it came to this genre.

The beat, the tempo, the tune were good and Yedam's voice was also great. However.. They lyrics. Now that was something unexpected.

It wasn't bad, on the conrary, it was incredibly good. Asking Yoon and Chanhyuk to help with the lyrics was obviously the best idea Yedam could ever think of.

Although Yedam was just fourteen, he was much more mature than his contemporaries. They knew he was a fan of love songs. He listened to them and even wrote some of his own but this. This was a whole new level. The way he put his heart into it. How he told Seungyoon exactly what he wanted, how he made suggestions.This song was clearly different from his other ones. And not only because of the help he got.

When they listened to it the first time they just knew. It was meant for someone.

Someone special they didn't know about.

 

🌤️2015🌤️

"So you want me to write you a song?" asked Seungyoon. Eyes still on the screen, fingers typing fast on the keyboard.

"Yes," answered the thirteen years old boy from across the room, sitting on the couch. "If it's not a problem. I also want to ask Chanhyuk if he would help. With the two of you I know it just can't be bad." Yoon let out a quiet laugh, amazed by the boy's answer.

"True."

"So will you do it?"

"I could never say no to you, your like a little brother to me," said the older man. "I almost feel special that you asked me. I look forward to present you your first solo ever."

"Thank you hyung, really."

 

🌤️2015🌤️

"Hey, Yedam. I'm happy to hear from you," answered the phone Suhyun.

The girl and Yedam were friends since kpop star's second season. Suhyun was only three years older than Yedam but her mother insicts immediaty kicked in when they first met. Yedam was so small and young, she felt the need to protect him.

"Why did you call?"

"Is Chanhyuk hyung there? I don't have his phone number, sorry to bother you."

"Oh, right. No problem. I can give him the phone if you want."

"That would be nice, thank you noona."

 

🌤️2016🌤️

"Oh, you visited me," laughed Rosé cheerly when he saw the younger boy from the mirror, standing in the door. "Such a rare occassion."

"Yeah, sorry for that," smiled shyly Yedam.

"And for what?"

"I want to ask for your help, I couldn't think anyone better."

Rosé and Yedam first met one year ago when the Blackpink members learned they will debut next year. Yedam was already a trainee for four years. He was about to have his last vocal lesson the day when he accidentally bumped into her outside of the practice room.

It turned out, Rosé stayed behind to master her dancing skills. The other girls were already back in their dorm.

"You know my first song is about to come out, right?" asked nervously Yedam.

"I'm afraid." It was strange. Fidgety Yedam was definitely strange.

Rosé motioned Yedam to close the door. As he sat down beside her, phone in his slighty trembling hands, the older girl couldn't help but to think what was wrong. A few minutes later she had an idea.

She would also be nervous to show this to someone.

"Yedamie," spoke up the girl quietly when the song ended, almost as if she was afraid Yedam will get scared if she talked too loud.

"Is it bad? Do you not like it?"

"No, no. It's nothing like that," said almost immediately Rosé. She didn't want Yedam to get the wrong idea. "Just.. Are you sure you wanted me to hear it before releasing? It feels so intimate," and it was true.

Rosé never had a relationship before, as much as it sounds strange but still. Every word hit her right across her chest, like she was the one who had to deal with the heartbreak Yedam sang about. She wondered if this song was about someone.

"You sang it so good, your voice literally punched me in the face."

"So is it good?" laughed Yedam. He wasn't nervous anymore, more like excited to hear the encouraging words from his fellow trainee and friend.

"It's more than good," answered Rosé and put the song on repeat, memorizing the lyrics.

 

🌤️2016🌤️

"I'm sorry to say this, but we can't release your song right now." As Yang Hyunsuk said these words, Yedam's breath hitched and his throat started tightening.

He waited so many years to finally debut. He trained since he was twelve, worked so hard so his fans can finally hear him again. He took his friends time just so they can't release it? They almost started to film his music video too. All those procedurs for nothing.

"I know I promised your debut this year but you know Blackpink is also about to debut and even if we can manage to promote the two of you, it wouldn't be a smart idea. But we think it would be great to put you in our upcoming survival show. You know, to make sure you're still capable of debuting. It will take place 2018 and until then, you can be even better."

Nonsense. It was just nonsense.

They promised him they would have his debut this year. To put him in a surviving show after all those misery he went throw to be here. Didn't make any sense.

 

🌤️2015🌤️

"I think we should break up," as those words left , Yedam felt his whole world crushing. When he woke up that day, he didn't know he will end up in his best friend's bed late at night.

Yedam was still in elementary school so to say that his world will end after the break up was a little bit dramatic. He was still young, his whole life is still ahead of him. But to Yedam, she wasn't just a girlfriend.

At first he was against the idea of dating. He thought it would just take his time away, he had much more important things he needed to do.

Vocal lessons, dance lessons, acting and foreign language lessons. He had to prove yg it wasn't a mistake to make a long lasting contract with him. School was still there, dropping out wasn't an option and he didn't like the idea to be a private student. He liked to get up in the morning and walk to school with his friends. His time table was full and nothing else could fit in.

But in the end, he still chose to be with her.

It wasn't the cheesy love at first sight. Yedam wasn't even sure what he felt was love. But it clearly helped to ease his mind.

She was there when he felt down, she was there when he achieved something he wanted. She made him cry but she also made him the happiest.

Little secrets only the two of them knew, having dates here and there, the thought that she was there whenever he wanted. She made time for him, she comforted him and cheered for him.

Stolen glances at the school, late night chatting on phone. It was idyllic. She was someone who reminded him that he was still a person.

He can care, he can feel, he can do the things he wanted. After becoming an idol, he can't do everything he want. They both knew that. So he was even more happy to have her beside him as long as he can.

It never occured to him he will lose all of these. And for what reason?

He didn't know.

 

🌤️2019🌤️

"I was really shocked when you called me," said a happy but uncertain voice. "How long has it been? Five years?"

"Four," answered Yedam. "It has been four years."

"Right."

They sat in an outlying cafe, both looking down, eyes on their hands. It was awkward to say but Yedam had to do it. He had to do it for him. For them.

"I heard you're about to debut," spoke up the girl in front of him. "Congratulations," she smiled. It wasn't forced, it seemed genuine and Yedam was grateful for that.

"Thank you."

They continued to sat in silence. The only sound was the soft music coming from one of the speakers. This went on for a few minutes when Yedam forced himself to look up. Sensing the change in the other's posture, the girl also raised her head, locking her eyes with his.

And that's when all the feelings came rushing back.

Yedam was no longer in love with the girl but facing the reason as to why he was depressed for months and was unable to freely love someone else. He almost choked up. He wanted nothing. Nothing more than to know.

"Why?"

 

🌤️2019🌤️

"Are you sure you want to do this?" his voice was barely above a whisper but the older boy could still hear him as he was laying beside him, face hidden in his neck.

"If I don't, I don't think I could ever let it go," he sighed and then sat up in the bed. With his slightly trembling hand, he dug into his hair and let it fall back again. "I don't love her, not anymore. At first I just wanted to let it all out, I thought if I release this song I will recover faster. But then it got delayed."

The younger one's eyes never left his boyfriend's face. He wanted to hug him, to say everything will be okay. But he knew he needed the space. If Yedam wanted comfort, he would ask, so there was no need to be afraid. But still. Doyoung couldn't help himself.

He reached out and pulled Yedam's hands in his lap. At least he could do this.

"I thought I could never let her go. My feelings got bottled up and I was scared It will be too much and my mind will just blow up." Yedam tightened his hands in Doyoung's and let out a little smile but it was so hard to not let his tears fall down. "You were always there for me. When we broke up and you let me stay at your house. I was so thankful, you can't even imagine."

"But I'm still here," and god, Yedam couldn't hold it in anymore. It was quiet but Doyoung could hear him sniffing before he saw the tears pouring down on his face. Panic rushed through him as he quickly let his hands go to touch his face.

But when he looked at his eyes, all he could see was happiness. Those tears weren't sad. Those tears were from happiness.

As Doyoung let out a sigh, Yedam chuckled a little.

"I know you're here. And I want you to be beside me forever. This is why I have to meet her. So I can finally put points over i."

 

🌤️2019🌤️

"Do you still want to release this song or should we write another one?"

"I want to release it. More than anytime." At the response, Yang Hyunsuk smiled.

"Well done, I'm sure it will be a hit," and with that, the meeting was dismissed.

 

🌤️2020🌤️

It was the day before the music video filming. It will be Yedam's first acting in front of a lot of people. He was devastated, excited and a little nervous too.

"Do you remember when we got together?" memorise started to flood Yedam's mind. Of course he could remember.

It was 2017. It was late at night but Team A was still in one of the practice rooms, trying to master their choreography.

Their manager already left them behind, she thought they could manage to practice alone. After all, they weren't new to this kind of life style. But she was wrong. Oh so wrong.

Team A was a mess. They were tired, tensed, and very frustrated. They all didn't seem to like the idea of the survival show. They were already a team. They thought they could all debut together, they had a strong bond, they were already a family. So to say all of them were shocked when they heard the news from their manager was understandable.

Doyoung could sense something was wrong with Yedam the second he layed his eyes on him. He was laying on the floor, sweaty hair stuck to his forehead. Even just the view was allerting. It was rare to see his best friend being so helpless. And when he whimpered a little, he just knew. Something was really wrong.

He went over to the older boy and crouched down beside him. When Yedam didn't notice Doyoung's present, he nudged him a little. At that, Yedam's eyes opened a little. Even in this state, he couldn't help but to smile at him.

"Would you accompany me to the vending machine?" he asked, smile never leaving his face. Without waiting for a response, he took his hands in his and pulled him up. They didn't talk on their way there, both were lost in their thoughts. Surprisingly Yedam was the one who broke the silence.

"Can you kiss me?" Yedam still can't believe he was that bold to ask Doyoung to kiss him. It sounded so stupid and totally out of the contest. There wasn't any confession nor too much action. There were no cringey pick up lines. There was just two boys, kissing in the hiding of a vending machine.

"Do you remember what I told you that night?" asked the younger, eyes never leaving the other's.

"That I will do great," answered Yedam without a beat.

"That you will do great," repeated the other.

 

🌤️2020🌤️

Lee Sungkyoung: "I can easily say how there's more color and depth but I think more detailed is the right expression for him."

Yoon Siyoon: "His vocals are so wonderful. I feel like the other musical instruments are supporting his vocals in a subtle way."

I.N: "I think people would be able to sing along with it easily. It's good that we can finally listen to his voice through music."

Kim Saeron: "I think I would recommend it once the official song gets released."

Kim Taekyun: "He sounds like a Korean Justin Bieber. Both his parents are so talented in music, it must run in the genes."

An Youngmi: "I want to recommend it to everyone because it's a song everyone can relate to. I only saw him as a little kid on television with his hair tied at the back, but listening to his song now, I've realized he's now an adult."

Somi: "It's like a very ticklish song. That's why I think it's good to hear that kind of voice."

Yoon Dohyun: "I was very surprised at how he's starting off his career with a song only mature musicians can do, and the fact that he pulled it off so well surprised me once again."

Rosé: "I love it how he almost talks when singing. From the very first verse. I think whoever listens to it will understand what I mean."

Zion. T: "I think it's a song that represents and explains what kind of vocalist Bang Yedam is. I've always thought how great it would be for a good singer like him to be acknowledged with their own song. But that day has finally come."

You Heeyul: "I thought it may be awkward because he's just starting, but I'm very surprised at how well made and sophisticated the song is. I think many people will be more surprised than I am. Wow, this piece.. It's the type of song that's worth listening. I only remember him as a little boy, but I'm surprised at how he's became a young man that can comfort and heal loving emotions."

 

🌤️2020🌤️

"People love you Yedamie, don't ever forget that," said Doyoung and slowly kissed his boyfriend. Pouring as much love into the tiny action as he can.