Julia

The neat cursive handwriting definitely belonged to SungGyu, Julia thought as she traced her name. She found the letter by her doorstep, as if somebody slid it under the thin opening of the door. She wondered why SungGyu gave her a letter instead of just sending her a text message or calling her. It has been a two weeks since they last talked, and the last conversation they had ended abruptly, as Julia had some files to go through at the office.

Placing the bags of groceries at the corner of the kitchen, she quickly grabbed the letter again while settling at the dining table, pondering on what might be the contents of it. She hesitated at first, thinking on calling SungGyu first before reading it. As she dialed his phone number, the receiver seemed to be dropping the phone call. After countless times of redialing, she decided it was futile at that point.

Strange, she thought. SungGyu usually answers her calls instantly. It bothered her more, her curiosity suddenly increasing at the thought of opening the letter. Opening the envelope carefully, she quickly grasped the papers inside. By the initial look of it, it was a long letter, as Julia scanned its appearance. At the blink of an eye, she started to read it.

 

Julia,

          Do you remember the time we first met? It was a rainy afternoon, and I was standing near the coffee shop you used to work for. You approached me brightly, holding an umbrella in one hand, and a small paper cup filled with hot coffee on another. The rain seemed to fall harder as we stood still in front of the window, however that didn’t bother me.

          “Julia”, you introduced yourself in the most cheerful way possible.

          SungGyu, I hesitantly replied, taken aback by your demeanor.

          You offered me the umbrella, as if knowing what I needed at the moment. You said that I seemed to be in a hurry, which was true since I needed to go to the practice room immediately. I took the opportunity to accept your offer, and as I was about to leave, you quickly tapped my shoulder and also gave me the cup of coffee. “You’re shivering”, you said, and made your way inside the shop. I was a bit stunned, however, I happily drank it along the way.

          A day passed and I decided to return the umbrella. As I entered the coffee shop, your smile welcomed me in the brightest way possible. I thanked you for lending me your umbrella, and you quickly offered me a seat by the window. It was a slow day, and luckily, it was your break. Casual conversations are not usually my thing but all the stories you told me that day caught my interest…maybe it wasn’t the stories that made me open up to you, but the way you told them, how your eyes sparkled when you tell them, and how sweet your voice was. Shortly after, we exchanged numbers, and became friends.

          Meeting you that time was the greatest thing that happened to me. As we continued to talk about our plans, how our day went, or the simple rants that we needed to get off our chest, I realized that I put my utmost trust in you, and my day wouldn’t be so full without talking to you.

          Months passed and you were able to find a job that you liked. Seeing you jump in glee made my heart leap, and I soon realized that I’m happy whenever you’re happy. However, because of the demands of your job and its workload, we talked in short intervals. That did saddened me a bit, but I really appreciated the time you dedicate just to talk to me, even with you falling asleep halfway through the call.

          In order to talk to you more, I started visiting you, and I could honestly say, lazy days with you are the best; how we just sit on your couch, watching variety shows, or movies that we both haven’t watched. I even liked the days when we were both doing different things, but I felt content with you by my side.

 

As Julia continued reading the letter, she couldn’t help but look back on the times that they spent together. Times spent with SungGyu were the best indeed, and she cannot help but smile at thought of it. Nostalgia crept up to her like a vine, and she found herself chuckling as she continued to peruse the letter.

         

            From the times that you brought me snacks in the recording room, to the time you rushed me to the hospital because I fainted, I was glad to have met a reliable friend like you. There were times that I felt sorry for you, how I kept bugging you despite your also busy schedule, and how you always came to my rescue. I did rely on you a lot, and I still do.

 

Dummy, Julia thought. It didn’t bother Julia at all whenever SungGyu called her. In fact, it gave her the greatest comfort she could ever wish for. An introvert by nature, Julia always preferred to be alone; eating alone, walking alone, and doing things alone. That changed the moment she met SungGyu. It took guts for her to lend the umbrella when they first met. She already noticed him the moment he entered the coffee shop, and she was yearning to know his name. Leaving all her discomfort behind, she walked up to him, even offering him a hot beverage.

She just had to know him, she thought then. When he came to the shop to return the umbrella, she was more than elated to see him come that time. Taking the opportunity, she initiated to talk to him, until that conversation lead them to where they are today. SungGyu was like a budding flower that came to her life. Platonically, she enjoyed every minute spent with him.

She did not expect the content of the following passages, causing her to be shocked.

         

          But, like how the seasons shift in time, my feelings for you gradually grew. I knew that there is more to just protecting you. I also want to be the one by your side when you’re happy, to be the one to lend you a shoulder to cry on when you’re sad, and to be with you in every step of the way. I can honestly say that I like you, no, scratch that, I love you.

          I was too afraid to say anything before. Yes, I got jealous when you started dating your friend that I hoped that I confessed to you sooner. My mind was filled with what – ifs and regret. I’m happy for you, of course, but I could’ve been happier if it was me by your side.

        I really hated how he broke your heart afterwards. I couldn’t forget your face the moment tears fell from your eyes. I wanted to confess to you at that moment but I knew that wasn’t the right time, and I didn’t want to take advantage of the situation. You swore never to love again, but I still loved you anyway.

          Until now, my feelings towards you remain unchanged. I love you, Julia, even if you don’t love me the same way. I will continue to stay by your side, to be your shoulder to cry on, to be your human teddy bear, to be your reliable friend. You will always be a part of my life, don’t you ever forget that. Whenever you need me, just call my name, and I’ll be there.

         

A wave of heartfelt emotions hit Julia like a tidal wave. She never knew that SungGyu loved her that way, and looking back, she did love him, she just didn’t know, or she was too scared to admit it. Maybe she was afraid too, that everything will change if she told him that she loved him. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she clutched the letter to her chest. There was still one passage left in the letter, and it took Julia a while for her to read it.

           

         As soon as you are reading this letter, I will be at the airport, leaving en route to Japan for 3 months for the preparation of our album. I could not guarantee if I can contact you at that time…or if you still want me. I cannot say if you are ready to see me… or if I’m ready to see you. I know I’m a coward for not saying my feelings in front of you, but I hope you won’t hate me for what I did.

          Remember…

          I will always be there for you.

 

          SungGyu

 

Without any second thoughts, Julia grabbed her phone, wallet, and keys, and left her apartment. She knew she had to see him for one last time before he leaves. He needed to know that it didn’t bother Julia. He needed to know that she loved him too.

She ran as fast as she could, and as she reached the sidewalk, she hailed for a taxi.

“Incheon airport please”, she told the driver. Luck was on her side, and she made it to the airport in the nick of time. After paying the driver, she quickly got out of the taxi and ran inside the building. Her eyes were frantic, scanning the area as she looked for the only person she wanted to see, and hoping that he hasn't left yet. As she picked up the pace, she bumped into someone, causing her to take a step back.

“I’m sorry-”, both of them uttered but as they lifted their heads, they were both surprised.

“SungGyu”

“Julia”

“You came”, were the only words that came out from SungGyu’s mouth as he saw Julia. Julia quickly grabbed SungGyu’s hand and took to him to a more private place. SungGyu did not resist and just followed her. As they reached a secluded corner, Julia immediately hugged him, causing him to flinch. Instead of pushing her away, he hugged her back, tighter than she did. Tears started rolling down Julia’s cheeks once again.

“Dummy”, she uttered, her voice slightly shaking. “Do you think you could just leave me like that after saying those things?”, she let him go for a moment gazed at his face.

“I’m sorry”, SungGyu replied as he wiped her tears with a handkerchief.

“Do you not want to know how I felt”, Julia asked, causing SungGyu to be startled.

“What do you mean?”, SungGyu asked, both curious and nervous on what Julia was about to say.

“This is my answer”, moving closer to SungGyu, she sealed his leaps with hers, and in that moment, the words left unsaid by the both of them were answered. SungGyu kissed her back and pulled her close to him, filling the space between them. After the moment has passed, Julia pulled away, looking earnestly at SungGyu.

“I love you too”, she said, both of them smiling.

“Will you wait for me?”, SungGyu asked, still keeping her in the same place. She answered him with a teasing peck on his lips, to which he smiled.

“Just don’t make me wait for too long”, Julia playfully answered.

Elated, SungGyu pulled her in for another kiss, this one being more tender and sweeter than the first one.