"How many times have you fought with him?" asked his best friend. But in complete honesty, Jaejoong didn't have an answer.

And he preferred to not answer.

"I lost count," he continued, knowing the other won't say a word. "This is hurting you and him."

"But I love him," was his only response and he wanted to say much more, but the other interrupted him.

"No, you don't," he remarked. "Because love is more than you expect. Love is more than what you are telling me. Love has its ups and downs, but your love has gone beyond ground. Jaejoong, please - just, please, accept it. This is not going anywhere."

The blonde felt the tears burning his eyes. They were threatening him to come out and he gave up. He let them flow freely through his cheeks. He wasn't strong - the brunette was right. He never knew what love really was.

"This needs to end..." whispered the taller one while the other closed his eyes, a deep breath coming inside. The sadness surrounding him to no end.

"AAAAAND CUT!" said the director, applauding at their magnificent performance. "You two are AMAZING!" he said as Jaejoong wiped his tears, laughing a bit at his comment. "I cannot wait to film more scenes. We have an hour break before the other lead comes."

Changmin nodded and was immediately crowded by his makeup artist. Shortly after, the same happened to Jaejoong, only they were focusing on his eyes.

"I am glad you decided to make a comeback," said the other actor. It has been a couple of years since he made a project with him. He liked how he acted and how respectful he was with everyone. He liked how he lightened the atmosphere surrounding him, but he also knew how hard it was for him to be reborn from the ashes.

"It has been three long years," said Jaejoong with a slight smile, trying to be as still as possible. He wanted to chat a bit more to the other but there were too many people around and the sooner they finished, the better.

And his wish came true. The makeup artists suddenly left once their job was done, the managers came in to bring a bottle of water to Jaejoong and cranberry juice for Changmin. They exchanged a couple of words and then, they were alone.

Just what they needed.

"I called you several times," said Changmin, his legs crossing with each other. "But you went out of the country for one year and no one saw you coming back."

"It's hard to explain," was Jaejoong's response. He didn't mean to sound rude or anything - he was being sincere.

His whole life was torn apart in exactly 30 minutes.

"Will you ever tell me what happened?" was the taller's question. He always knew there was a back story and he never trusted the press - after all, most are there to destroy careers. He still remembered what happened to one of his colleagues about a year ago, after the calm came with Jaejoong's scandal.

Fortunately, the latter left to be with himself and quickly disappeared from the netizen's mouth. The other made things worse and even though they still maintained contact, they destroyed him. They shattered his career to pieces.

"Eventually," he said. There was a lot he needed to prove, but he would rather focus on his brand-new rising career than anything else. He didn't need anymore drama and he would stay as positive as he could.

That was the least he could do for himself.

"Hey," they heard someone directing his voice towards them and they both turned around, briefly smiling at the newcomer. "The main lead came earlier than usual, so they are escorting him back here."

Changmin arched an eyebrow. "I don't get the mysteriousness of this. They never told us who it was going to be. He didn't even come to the initial reading and press conference."

"You know it can be a publicity stunt," were Jaejoong's words. Those didn't happen often, but directors liked to do them to have more people interested in the project. It has been a trend recently and it has worked out pretty well. Of course, they were some people who were completely against it but that was normal.

Nothing was perfect.

"I want to introduce you," said the director with a smile covering his face, the male lead by his side. "He's the main lead - Jung Yunho."

And Jaejoong saw his heart shattering on the floor.

The actor gulped, the tears covering his face. This time, he wasn't acting - he was feeling.

"Nice to meet you," he simply said, extending his hand as a courtesy. The other looked at him like cold water was running down his back, the shocking expression revealing a part of what he was feeling.

"Nice to meet you too," was his response, shaking his hand as well.

That's when Jaejoong knew it was going to be his downfall.

The first tear came out, but it was invisible for the other two. For the newcomer it was more than clear.

He still felt something for him, but it was broken beyond repair. There was nothing he could do and he was part of his past.

A past no one knew except them.

"I'll be right back," was Jaejoong's response - but it seemed more like a call for help. Changmin noticed it but knew he was better off alone. If the other needed someone to rely on, he would surely tell him and he would offer his hand, no questions asked.

He didn't know - he truly didn't, but it was more than sure that the presence of the main lead affected him greatly.

Yunho simply looked at the beautiful back leaving and bitterly smiled to himself, ghastling his thoughts away and focusing on the director's words.

The actor closed himself on his dressing room, his breathing becoming uncontrollable. He couldn't hold his feelings, but he needed to. He had to work with him - he had to work with the man he loved the most, but who betrayed him.

"Why..." he asked himself, unwilling to accept his fate. "Why is he here? Why did they choose him to be the main lead?"

"I have to kiss him, I have to pretend to make love to him," he continued, the tears willingly falling down. ", !" he screamed, punching the wall next to him. The pain was starting to build up and devour him. He tried to control it - he tried to be strong, but this was a blow.

The biggest fear of his life was back and working with him.

And yet it happened.

But he was in a contract and this was his way to be at the top again. It was going to be difficult to pretend, but he was good at it. He wasn't an actor for anything - he knew his value. He was good at feigning feelings and hatred, he was good at whispering and talking about things he didn't feel, why should it be any different?

And he knew the answer, but he wasn't willing to admit it. Doing so would destroy him and he wouldn't be able to continue and move forward.

Jaejoong let more tears fall from his eyes, the anguish he held close to his heart making its presence known.

He grabbed the script and he shredded it like it was nothing. He needed something to release his energy into, but it wasn't working.

When he heard a couple of knocks on his door, he knew it was time to suppress what he felt once again and continue to move forward, just like he has done these past three years.

And with those thoughts in mind, he took a deep breath and opened the door, smiling to his manager who wanted to let him know that it was time to record the first scene with the main lead.

They walked together towards the small set, who was covered in fake trees and a green wall. From his understanding, the director wanted it to be outdoors but it wasn't raining. They also didn't have the availability for the rain car, like he calls it, to be there for them. There were a lot of scenes left and he suggested to skip it before he knew who it was, but the director wanted to get this done as raw as he could do it.

To his greatest despair, it was the scene where he loved the most but the one he would have rather skip once he knew Jung Yunho was the one sharing it with him.

Jaejoong sighed, knowing this was going to be a complete disaster. He separated himself from his manager, walking towards the screen where Yunho was located. He looked lost - empty, but he knew he was faking it. He might have been shocked, but there was nothing left.

Unlike him, who still loved him even after what he did.

"ACTION!" screamed the director, all cameras focusing on the couple while the rain started to pour.

"I said I was comfortable being alone," began Jaejoong - the words too close to his heart. His raw feelings were coming out without any notice, making him vulnerable.

"It's not you, but a lot of difficult things have happened," answered Yunho, his heart shattering to pieces. He was taking this way too personally, but he couldn't stop him.

He missed him. Every day and every night. He tried countless times to get him back, but the other disappeared. He couldn't reach him…

And it hurt.

It still hurts to this day.

"I… I have called you..." continued Jaejoong, it was becoming out of script, but he had a good reason to cry.

To legitimate cry.

"I have been stuck in calling you to the extent that it becomes difficult all night… The thoughts of the fight were wandering in my mind… But did we really? Did we really fight again? That's all I have… and all I left..."

"It hasn't happened in a long time..." was Yunho's reponse, but he was hoping for something else.

He truly hoped the other was listening to his cry.

"I am missing our arguments too," were his last words, but Jaejoong held a cry. He knew it was becoming too much, but he needed to continue.

He was determined.

No matter how much or how long he had been hurting, he needed to move forward.

"It has been enough..." he told Yunho, holding the fake marriage ring close to his heart.

And suddenly, the scene became too familiar to his eyes.

"I need to leave," whispered Jaejoong, his heartbreaking sobs shattering everyone's heart. "I have to part... far from you..."

"No," pleaded the youngest, the tears leaving his eyes as well. He wasn't supposed to cry, but he was giving his heart out.

He was hurting too.

"I… I can't," suddenly said Jaejoong, running off the scene while leaving everyone perplexed, the main actor running after him.

"Jaejoong, wait!" he shouted, but the other wasn't stopping. The other lead wanted to hide in his dressing room again but Yunho was faster, entering it in a heartbeat while closing and locking the door behind them.

After three years, they were alone and in front of each other.

"Leave!" shouted Jaejoong, the pain consuming him. "Why are you here?!"

"I'm here for you!" he shouted back, the tears still freely flowing. "It was the only way I could reach you!"

"You ruined my career!" Jaejoong spitted out, angry tears covering his cheeks. "You lied to me! You shattered me to pieces and yet you chose my project?! Why!"

"I love you!" Yunho screamed back at him, grabbing his shoulders. Jaejoong looked at him while aguishly crying, the suffering surrounding them. "I have loved you this entire time!"

"If you did, you wouldn't have betrayed me..." whispered Jaejoong in pain. "If you did… you wouldn't have gotten her pregnant. Yet… yet---"

"Yet I did..." finished Yunho for him, his sobs turning into cries. "I got your sister pregnant… I did---"

"And now, I can't… I can't even see her face, or my niece's face… it screams of you---"

"I'm sorry..." whispered Yunho in despair, the grip on Jaejoong's shoulders softening. "I am so… so sorry..."

"If you were sorry, you wouldn't have cheated" continued Jaejoong while the pain overwhelmed him. "If you were sorry, you wouldn't have slept with her! You knew what had happened to me… you knew I couldn't give myself to you… yet… yet you did it… you---”

"I'm sorry…" he said again, his knees touching the floor and his arms wrapped in Jaejoong's legs.

"And then… it looked to everyone like I was the bad guy… she won" he continued, the tears tearing him apart. "She made-- she made it look like I was… I was meddling with the relationship when it was her… when it was you, who cheated on me..."

"You threw four years of our lives together to the trash. I gave you four years… Yunho… four years! And you slept with her… four years”. He shook his head in disbelief. “I knew she wanted you… I did. But you assured me that you only looked at me. Yet, you made her yours..."

Yunho continued to cry, his embrace becoming tighter.

"Even when I finally parted with you, all that was left was my longing for you" continued the broken Jaejoong, knowing it was now or never. The other made him talk, causing his old scars to ressurge, right? He looked for him for three years? Then, he could listen to everything he had to say.

"To me, you are more evil than anyone else in this world," continued the blonde with a finality that turned the room cold; even as his tears were becoming more prominent--- harsher. "Even if my pain hides my love in the place we parted, I just have regrets. I should have seen it coming, but I couldn't. I would never have imagined that my sister and my husband would cheat on me..."

"My friends have told me that I was foolish for loving you, and for trying to look at how you were doing when I was devastated… but at that time, my foolish and painful love was there… craving for you---"

"Jaejoong… I love you. I always have, please, believe me…" begged Yunho. "It was a trap… I have proof! I can… prove it to you!" he shouted. "She slipped a pill on my drink… she drugged me… Jaejoong--"

"You are lying… again. After all these years… you are still lying---"

"No!" he shouted. "Why--- why have you always believed her and not me, WHY?!"

"I believe no one" were Jaejoong's words. "And you know why? Because… I'm stuck with you in this very small world. While you continued your career, I had to fly away from here. While my sister gave birth to your child… I had to drown in my pain..."

"You shattered me, Yunho. You broke me beyond repair…"

And that's when Yunho lost his strength, letting Jaejoong go.

"I'm going to long for you my whole life. And I love you and want you more than anyone else in this world--- But it cannot be. I have to live without you"

"And thanks to my broken wings, I have become a person who can't love anyone anymore..." were his last words before he left his own dressing room, leaving a heartbroken Yunho on the floor while he looked at his worried manager for the last time before he fainted in his arms.

end.