A/N: don't misunderstand me, I love Siwon, but he's the bad guy in this story... oh, and this chapter is messed up... 

go a head and tell me if i should rate this chapter? i dont see it's too messed up to be rated but my head is messed up to decided lol... 

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Donghae found himself in the car with Siwon. still not realizing how he ended up together. he wasn't in his right mind maybe, yeah, that was the reason.
now that he's thinking right he started feeling nervous. Siwon suddenly showed up at his work and asked to talk, Donghae got in the car without thinking twice but then, what the hell is he doing? he remembers the last time they were together and it made him nervous. 

"Where are we going?" 

"My house" 

Donghae cursed himself from the inside "Why? something wrong?" he asked while acting normal. they haven't talked about what happened that day, Siwon didnt even contacted him. he thought maybe Siwon didnt remember when he woke up but then why didnt he call him or anything, they were best friends, right.

"Siwon glanced at him then continued looking front while driving "We need to talk, i have something to tell you" he said and the drive went quiet until they reached Siwon's house. 

Donghae didnt want to get in but it's too late to turn back and run away, they already reached and Siwon already waiting for him to follow him inside which eventually he did and both sat facing eachother in Siwon's spacious livingroom. 

Donghae felt saffocated as if the space is too small. he sat nervously waiting for Siwon to speak. Siwon was looking at him then avoiding him while he keeps on sighing. 

"Siwon..." 

Siwon brought his hands to his face, covering it and breathig loudly "I know, I know" Siwon muttered "i dunno what i'm doing, i'm also confused" He admitted but Donghae didnt understand.

"Confused with what?" 

"I'm losing you" Siwon said while looking at Donghae, something clicked in his mind. jealousy, posession, call it whatever but Donghae can see something is there. 

"i saw you, you ran away when you saw him hugging that guy" Siwon said angerily "Donghae don't let him effect you, I'm here, i love you, because of Hyukjae you're forgetting me, it's all because of him, WHY, WHY" 

"Siwon calm down..." 

"I can't, you were mine but I'm losing you and it's making me go mad, donghae I can't lose you, I don't want to lose you" 

"Si... siwon" donghae tremples  " What are you saying?" this time he's the one who's confused "you're getting married, what are you saying, why the sudden" 

"I know, you think i want this, NO I DONT WANT THIS,  I want YOU Donghae". .  Siwon says as he got closer and hugs Dinghae tightly.

Donghae's heart starts beating fast, a bang of hurt and sore cover him fully and he doesn't know what to do. Why now, it's too late.

"Siwon stop, you're hurting me' donghae muttered but Siwon doesn't seem to register what he's saying " SIWON PLS STOP" ... 

"I'll not deny it, i loved you for long time but... but" what changed now? Donghae wondered, why when Siwon saying that he wants him didn't seem to please him?

Something changed, is it him or his feelings? Something did change and now he doesn't really feel the same....

Instead of thinking of the person in front of him, his mind went back to the scene which accured earlier, Hyukjae in someone's else arms surrounding him and he hated it, he hated it ز

Is this Jealously? 

"Is it because of Hyukjae? "Siwon asked, eyes locked at him and it's too fierce that made him shudder.

He hesitated "I dunno, I'm also confused" it's all a mess, he always wondered why he's not the one, why Siwon didn't chose him. The thought made him hate himself and lead him to self distruct but now something changed. 

His feelings are not the same, he's not curious why he's not the one, at least not for Siwon... 

Siwon grabbed Donghae and hugged him tight again "I know you love me Donghae, stop lying at yourself and confusing yourself. Hyukjae is only a distraction, I'm the one you want" he said.

"Please, pleaase Siwon, you're hurting me" 

Siwon flinched "oh Hae, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he said and carrassed the fallen hair above Donghae's eyes "I'll never hurt