Kim Taeyeon was torn.

“S-sir. You can’t be serious! You can’t… She won’t - ”

“Taeyeon-ah, I know it won’t be easy. But if you really think about it, it’s plausible. Her parents didn’t want her to renew but Jessica didn’t want to leave just yet. The hiatus is a compromise. A heart attack was inevitable, we just didn’t expect it to happen so soon. I may be your superior and you may bring in big business, but you girls are also family. I want what’s best for all of you, and I believe that this is as far as she can go with us. She’ll shine brighter somewhere else.”

She knew that what Chairman Lee said was valid. Knowing what she knew now of her member’s condition and its implications, the next three years would definitely not be easy for her. Someone as beguiling as Jessica Jung would definitely rake in money even if she went solo, and SM would surely exploit that and run her ragged.

Taeyeon could just imagine the mental and physical struggle Sooyeon would go through if that was the case. At least in the group, she’d have the other girls to take care of her. But an idol’s life is anything but easy, and it landed the younger woman inside the hospital one too many times already.

Either way, the reality of the matter was that Jessica would definitely reach her limit way before the three years were up. As painful as it was to think about, Jung Sooyeon needed to leave.

Leave SM.

Leave Girls’ Generation.

Leave her.

“Taeyeon-ah…”

The midget snapped out of her depressing thoughts as she heard a muffled voice calling her. She turned towards the bed, smiling widely at her now-conscious groupmate.

“Hey! How are you feeling?”

Jessica was woken up from her comatose state to the relieved faces of her family and members. After a few tests, she was deemed well enough to start her cardiac rehab in a few days’ time, much to the patient’s chagrin.

Fortunately, she didn’t seem to fully recall everything that happened as her mind was still fuzzy and still trying to understand where she was and why.

Worried that she’d go into depression once her mind finally caught up to the present, her family and friends made sure she was not left alone so she wouldn’t have time to dwell on past events too much, up until she got tired and went back to sleep. They were all grateful that her medications made her unintelligible for normal conversation for a while.

The past 36 hours were a blur, with Jessica falling in and out of consciousness throughout the day.

The girls, along with Krystal, had to go back to work but Taeyeon volunteered to return and spend the night to watch over Jessica as soon as her last job was done, reasoning that Mama and Papa Jung also needed to rest.

In truth, she just really wanted to be alone to think, rejecting Fany and Seohyun’s offers of accompanying her. Curious looks but knowing smiles were thrown at her by her girls before Taeyeon went back to the hospital.

Jessica tried to offer a smile for her leader even with the oxygen mask framing her face. She could already breathe normally but was advised to wear it when sleeping for a few more days. Just in case.

The younger woman lifted her hands to remove the mask but was beaten by the midget, using a remote to assist her in elevating the bedrest so she could sit up after.

“What are you doing here, Tae? Where are the others?”

“Your parents went home to rest but they’ll be back in the morning. I told the girls to just sleep at home. No use in all of us staying here.”

Jessica glanced towards the clock on the wall and looked back at the other girl, a look of curiosity on her face.

“It’s already three in the morning, Tae. What were you thinking about so seriously that you’re still awake?”

Taeyeon chuckled as she handed the girl a glass of water to ease Jessica’s somewhat raspy voice, deftly wiping her chin when some water spilled out.

“I was just wondering if I’ll be able to carry you to the bathroom with how heavy you are.”

“Yah!”

Taeyeon laughed at the adorable pout Jessica was wearing, and she couldn’t resist lightly pinching the girl’s pale cheeks, an excuse to keep on touching her.

Jessica felt her face flush a bit when the older woman didn’t immediately let go and, instead, started to gently caress the soft skin. A mixture of relief, sadness, and regret swirled in her leader’s eyes, making the Ice Princess uneasy for some reason.

“What’s wrong, Taengoo? Are you okay?”

The leader smiled as she heard the concern that was laced in Jessica’s voice, amused that it was her of all people who was asking that given that she was the one who was sick. She continued caressing her member’s cheeks, Taeyeon’s eyes roaming around the pretty face that had haunted her for the past several days.

“You don’t know how exceptionally happy I am that you’re alive, Sooyeon-ah.”

The rawness of the statement and how Taeyeon said it so uninhibitedly made Jessica’s heart skip a solid beat, making her recoil slightly from the small force, and she finally remembered, finally understood.

The cat’s finally out of the bag.

Tears sprang from the younger woman’s eyes as she suddenly started crying hysterically, surprising Taeyeon who scrambled to wipe them away, alarmed as to what caused the sudden shift in emotions.

“T-taengoo…”

Taeyeon knew she needed to quickly calm Jessica down since the very reason they placed her in a coma in the first place was to avoid any emotional distress.

“I-I’m s-sorry, Taeng-oo. So, s-so sor-ry…” Jessica brokenly stuttered, hands covering her wet face.

“Sica. Sica-ya… Hey, look at me, Sooyeon…” Taeyeon coaxed the sobbing girl to remove her hands and look at her.

It hurt Taeyeon to see Jessica so upset, so apologetic. The Ice Princess was normally a crier but it was the first time the leader actually saw her this distraught, and she could only guess as to what the reason was.

“I-I’m sor-ry, T-taengoo! I wor-ried e-every-one, didn’t I? I d-didn’t mean to! I c-couldn’t brea-the an-d then m-my heart hurt and I-I can’t re-mem-ber... I’m s-sorry…”

The fact that Jessica Jung was bawling while blaming herself and apologizing for something that was completely out of her control was disturbing. But Taeyeon would go back to that later. Her priority was to make the younger woman stop crying.

“Yah, Jung Sooyeon. Look at me. Please… I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here, Sooyeon-ah… I’m not mad, Princess.”

At that point, Taeyeon had lifted herself on the bed and tucked Jessica’s head under her chin, one arm cradling the other girl while the other pinned Jessica’s arms to prevent her from hiding her face again.

It took a while but Taeyeon could see that the woman nestled in her arms was finally starting to calm down from her soothing words, her sobs slowly dying down and being replaced by sporadic bouts of hiccups.

It would’ve been such a cute sight if she wasn’t fearful of the girl having a sudden relapse. Or another heart attack.

Taeyeon started to slowly rock them back and forth, forcing herself to breathe steadily in hopes that Jessica would follow her lead. It seemed to work since she felt Jessica lose some of the tension in her body, eventually sighing and snuggling more comfortably in the midget’s embrace. Taeyeon smiled.

The thought was irrelevant at the moment, but the midget was very thankful that Jessica was blessed with longer legs instead, showing how small and petite she really was when sitting down even though the younger girl was a bit taller than her.

Sniffles were all that was heard for several minutes, Taeyeon adjusting them and turned to softly humming directly into Jessica’s ear to further relax her which appeared to be effective.

Soon, soft snores met Taeyeon’s ears and she saw that Jessica, probably too exhausted from her crying fit, had fallen back to sleep.

She didn’t move away nor leave the bed, afraid that Jessica would wake up. Taeyeon carefully reached for the remote and reclined the bed so they could both be more comfortable, deciding to just sleep beside her groupmate.

Just in case.

Dawn passed quickly, and that was how the Jungs found them in when they returned that morning.

“Here you go, kid. Drink up! You look like you need it.”

Taeyeon snorted as she accepted the cup of coffee from Papa Jung. They sat outside the suite while Mama Jung and a nurse assisted Jessica with her daily needs.

“So she’s lucid, huh? We’re sorry that you had to witness her in that state, Taeyeon-ah. She’s usually quiet or would just cry silently after an episode, sometimes the occasional tantrum. So it’s a surprise to hear her break down like that. She must’ve been really upset.”

Taeyeon took another sip from her cup, a question suddenly burning in her mind, before turning to fully face the Jung patriarch.

“Why is it such a big deal that we found out about her illness? How she kept on saying sorry over and over again was painful to hear, like it was her fault for being sick. It’s not like she wanted it in the first place, right? I really don’t get it!”

Papa Jung sighed and idly played with his own cup. He, of course, understood where Taeyeon was coming from. But his daughter had her own reasons for not wanting to disclose such a