Sana was getting ready to go to dinner with Momo, it was something they did frequently, even with their very tight schedules since both of them were at the end of the periods for their mayors. Sana was putting on a very simple white dress with barely visible pink flowers on it. Her hair loose and her make-up quite simple. Only a touch of peach gloss on her lips. But quite a lot of flowery perfume like always.

Her roommate suddenly entered her bedroom coughing at the punch of perfume getting on her nose.

–Damn it, Sana! Why do you use so much! All the campus can smell you already!-, -Oh come on! Is not that much, Mina! Don’t be a baby!-.

She said to her “other” best friend Mina, who was studying a mayor on classical ballet. Sana didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable but she was quite sure she was going to be the next prima donna of the world. She has been at all of her try outs, competitions and recitals that she could go and internationally speaking, she crushed everyone else, but Mina would get quite flustered when someone pointed out that she was amazing so, she would just tell her when she became an international ballet sensation. Just to piss her off of course.

-So, are you going to tell Momo that you like her or still not show of your guts?- Mina asked quite calmly while laying on Sana’s bed.

-For the last time, I do not like Momo! We are just best friends since always, it’s natural to be that close- Sana said while brushing her hair for probably the tenth time.

-Yeah…no, it’s not. I have been friends forever with Nayeon-nie. And we are not that “close”- the ballerina said while turning on her Switch.

-Mina do we really have to do this every time I go out with her? - She said while lying beside her. Mina ignoring her game and looking to her eyes with worried expression.

-I know I bother you a lot, but Sana. I have seen how you look at her. That’s not “I love you because you are my best friend forever after” look. That’s an “I love you and I have been wanting to kiss you since I was 12” kind of look. You know I would never ever bother you this much if I wasn’t worried. I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want you to realize that you love her too late like I did with Jeongyeon- Mina confessed with now tears on her eyes. Her pride getting in the middle of her feelings making her swallow her tears. Sana sighed and nodded. She knew how much it hurt Mina to talk about that subject, so her fear was well considered for the girl’s sake.

After some minutes Sana was already at the door of their dorm and just when she was about to go out she felt a pair of arms hugging her tight from behind.

-Please don’t go, I don’t have a great feeling about this dinner with her-. Sana almost did not hear her, she said it in such a tiny voice but her experience with “quiet Mina” made her hear her. Sana turned around a saw a very fragile Mina. She usually was quite unexpressive since Jeongyeon, but right now anyone barely giving her attention would notice. She hugged her tight and then opened the door.

-Don’t worry Mina, nothing will happen, it’s just another dinner with her. And even if something happens I know you will be right here, right?- Sana gave her a soft smile, making Mina breath again after holding her breath, nodding in agreement. –See? Nothing to worry about. Now see you in a couple of hours-. She said lastly as she finally left.

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-Took you long enough! - Momo complained as Sana sat in front of her on the same table they used. They always had dinner at this semi-fancy restaurant since both started college. Yeah sure they hang out everywhere and eat fast food or got to cafeterias, but this dinners became a tradition when they wanted something special for their friendship anniversary, and it slowly became “their place”.

-Sorry Momoring, I just needed to stay with Mina for a little bit-, -Oh no… she thought about Jeongyeon? - She asked worried. Since Mina was Sana’s friend, she also became kind of hers, just not as much as Sana’s, but she knew that when Mina was down, was mostly because of Jeongyeon.

Sana nodded, trying to not give much detail on why she thought about it. Momo sighed. –She looks miserable when she thinks about her-,

-Yeah, I just needed to make sure she was ok for a little bit-.

–Don’t worry I understand- Momo smiled at her and suddenly gasped when she saw their usual waitress coming with their food.

-Here is the usual ladies!-. she said and just as the plate touched the desk Momo started eating like she haven’t done it for a year.

-Oh my god, Momoring! Manners! What would Chaeyoung think!?- she lauged a little bit in embarrassment. She knew Momo adored to eat food, and specially delicious food, but when she was hungry she would forget any kind of appropriate conduct and eat like an animal, or at least that’s how Sana described her on those moments.

-Don’t worry, Sana. I’m used to it now- Chaeyoung said with a little giggling too. –The first time it did surprised me though, but I don’t mind anyone eating so eagerly either-. She said smiling big at how Momo’s cheeks were all full of food, a bit of souce smeared all over , thankfully she didn’t wore red lipstick tonight.

-Shee? She doeshen’t mind! - Momo said with still full making both laugh and Sana roll her eyes.

-Come here- Momo moved her chair to be on Sana’s left side. Sana took her own napkin and started cleaning softly her lips. Her heartbeat accelerating, her eyes unable to look away from her lips. She her own lips and felt her cheeks blushing. She suddenly heard Mina’s voice on her head. “Are you going to tell her you like her or not?” Sana gasped softly and stopped cleaning her face.

-Vwhat? Am I clean? - Momo asked with curiosity. Sana nodded and gulped as discreet as she could. But Chaeyoung noticed moving to her right ear to whisper to her. –Careful, she smear herself often with this one, and she does have wonderful lips-. Sana’s cheeks went redder by the comment and sat there like a statue for a couple of minutes.

-Hey, Sana, are you ok? You haven’t eat anything and it’s your favorite- her best friend shook her arm a little to make the question sink.

–I, um, Yes I’m fine- Sana answered with her usual smile.

–Then why won’t you eat?-. Sana took a breath and pretended to not have been overthinking.

–Because I’m not an animal like you when it comes to food. I do take my time and wait for my plate to be well placed on the desk-.

–HEY! I AM HUNGRY!-.

–YOU ALWAYS ARE! - Sana laughed it out.

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During the dinner Sana couldn’t stop catching herself looking at Momo, imagining things that she has suppressed for a long time and convincing herself that she only felt a very strong friendship to the girl. She couldn’t stop looking at her lips when she talked, those beautiful, perfectly shaped lips that made her heart race. She noticed how every time Momo innocently laid her hand on her bare leg she would gasp silently and stop breathing until she stopped. Or how Momo would wake her up from being hypnotized by her beauty.

By the end of the night when she got to the dorm, Mina was already waiting for her at the door, looking at her with worry and curiosity, especially since Sana always after a dinner with Momo she would not shut up until she have gave Mina the most little detail of the night. Mina bit her lower lip and took some steps to get closer, trying to read her mind.

-I’m… I think I’m in love with Momo- Sana said before tears started dropping down her cheeks. Mina hugging her instantly making Sana crumble on her arms, crying out what she has been hiding from herself mostly her whole life.

*********************************************************

During the week Sana has been trying to distract herself every time she hand out with Momo, trying to control her own feelings. But nothing could have prepared her for what Momo said next.

-I have a boyfriend! - Momo said super excited.

-W-what? - Sana said in a very weak voice. She could swear she heard her heart broking like glass. She felt a cold rush all over her body, her breathing becoming uneasy quickly.

-Yeah! He is at one of the study groups I go to. He is very kind! - She said while her feet where dancing under the table as she drank her smoothie.

-H-how… how long? - Sana tried to think more coldly but she was feeling quite strange, she couldn’t describe it.

-Oh not much. I have being going out with him for like 5 days I think? And two days ago he asked me to be her girlfriend! I know I should have told you right away but you have seem stressed lately with your projects and I didn’t want to bother you, but hey! You are the first one to know! That’s good right!?- Momo said while looking at her with very shinning eyes, eyes that shined likes stars, only that this time it wasn’t for her.

Sana felt her chest heavy, she couldn’t breathe properly but tried her best to not let Momo notice, she could feel her tears forming and felt a terrible pain on her fingers. She got up abruptly and took her stuff leaving the coffee shop behind her quickly. A worried Momo moving fast so she could get to her.

-Hey! Hey! What’s wrong!?- Momo said with her beautiful puppy eyes that made Sana melt but right now it just made her sick.

-I-I, I need to… I totally forgot something… Mina… Mina will kill if me if I don’t do it, I HAVE TO GO-. Sana managed to say while feeling herself getting weaker, her whole body trembling.

-Wait! You don’t look right! Let me go with you- Momo grabbed Sana’s arm trying to stop her. Sana felt like her heart has been squeezed, the pain of her fingers increasing. She took a deep breath and looked at Momo with the biggest smile yet.

-Don’t worry! It’s just really important to Mina and she told me to keep it a secret, and I don’t want her to get mad at me. So we, we just catch up later ok? - Sana said as calm as possible before quickly getting away from Momo. The girl was left there confused and worried.

-B-but… my goodbye kiss…- Momo whispered to herself, pouting a little.

When Sana was out of Momo’s eye reach she started running. Running like she was being followed, pushing some people aside on the way. When she made it to her dorm, she quickly and roughly opened the door, falling to the ground gasping for air, clenching her chest on her hand. When Mina heard the loud noise she got out of shower, only putting on her towel to find a very disturbing view of Sana.

She kneeled beside her and rubbed her back trying to calm her but it was no use so she moved in front of her and cupped her cheeks.

-Sana! SANA! What happened!?- Mina said trying to get her eyes to see her but Sana was so absorbed on the news she wasn’t even paying attention.

-I can’t… I can’t breathe…- Sana said with tears falling to the ground. Mina quickly wrapped her on her arms and laid her head on her chest.

-Honey, you are having a panic attack, or an anxiety attack I can think much right now which one. Listen to me. Listen to my voice, ok? - Sana nodded, making Mina took a breath at the fact that at least she was listening to her.

-Sweetie I need you to take a deep breath for me, ok? I want you to focus only on my voice and my heartbeat, ok? Listen to my heart- Mina said with a firm but yet kind voice while rubbing her arm and her back. Sana squeezed shut her yes and tried hard focusing on Mina’s heart. Her heart was beating a little bit faster than normal but was still quite steady for the situation she just put her into. Sana took a breath and tried to follow Mina’s breathing. After almost 20 minutes Sana was breathing way more normal, just some sobs here and there.

-She h-has a b-boyf-friend- Sana said between sobs, hugging extremely tight Mina. Her roommate only shut her own eyes and bit her lower lip, like she always did when something was wrong. Hugging her best friend just as tight.

-I’m sorry, honey, I’m really sorry-. Mina said while not letting Sana go. Her worst fears for Sana coming true. Her heart broken. And she knew that for Sana it was just the beginning of it.