200413

Admittedly, in a long run it is a little hard to say whether Son Seungwan’s opinion mattered to the producers at all.

She’s among the youngest and least experienced talents that Channel 3 currently has on board, having signed an exclusive contract with them barely five month prior to the casting of Come Hell or High Water. She had only done two music videos for one of the company’s household names and a cameo in one of the popular Boys’ Love series as a younger sister of the lead actor. Until recently, she had been mostly blissfully unaware of her slowly growing circle of fans – and the fact that most of them were women in their twenties. She had been very content with an occasional autograph she gave away to those standing in front of their company building and the handful of hundreds viewers on her weekly IG hangouts where she mostly continued her amateur singing and guitar playing.

Her manager Kwon Boa’s message about the Channel’s wanting Seungwan to try out for the lead role of their newest production had the girl sit down in astonishment though at the time nothing had been decided yet. More so, when she read up on the fact that it was going to be the Channel’s very first Girls’ Love serial. The chosen source material was going to be Be the One, a web novel written by an author going under the pen name of Yerimiese – and quite well known too, depending on which side of the Internet one was on. Seungwan had been somewhat familiar with the story but she still purchased her own pdf the very same day, spending most of her day and evening immersing herself in the narrative.

The casting was a blur, a blend of being nervous out of her mind and simultaneously numb. She was cast without much hassle or additional screenings, which made her think that she had been the favourite for the role of Wendy from the start. That in itself was already an overwhelming – and admittedly a little burdensome, too – realisation but the real shock came two weeks later when she was asked to attend another casting and read her part with possible on-screen partners.

See, Seungwan has a huge secret. If she were any other regular girl, those around her would probably shrug and think it cute. In her current predicament, however, it is beginning to look like a big elephant in the room and Seungwan has absolutely no way of hiding it.

‘Dongsaeng, are you ready?’ Seungwan turns away from the window when she feels a hand slipping into her own, slowly leading her away to the main hall. Seungwan only nods dumbly when her eyes lock with Bae Joohyun’s, trusting the elder to guide her not only during the short walk but also through the upcoming interview, pretty much how she always has in the last five months since they started doing preparatory workshops and then shooting the series together.

The first episode officially aired only a few days ago but the audience response has been so fervent that Seungwan’s IG following went from ten point three to a hundred and thirty thousand virtually overnight. The madness hasn’t stopped and especially since these days the camera has been in her face almost twenty four seven – capturing behind the scenes, recording greetings and viewing reactions to her own acting – it is comforting to know that there is another directly involved person who has her back. Joohyun unnie is much more experienced and gently steers a newbie like her in the right direction every time Seungwan becomes lost.

But that’s definitely not the only reason why Seungwan feels so warm all over every time she’s in Joohyun’s presence.

‘Ah, here you are. I was ready to go fish you out of that toilet.’ Boa looks up from her phone with a small smile when Seungwan and Joohyun enter the room hand in hand. The eldest waves at the makeup artist to come over and powder Seungwan’s forehead some more, just in case. The studio lamps are on principal hot and unforgiving but Seungwan has no illusions that she will sweat all over regardless. They probably won’t be asking hard questions… probably. But even the easy ones are already difficult enough, depending on the situation.

‘I was just… I stepped out for just a second,’ Seungwan replies apologetically, taking her assigned seat. Joohyun makes herself comfortable right next to her, undergoing the last of her own touch-ups.

Boa’s looks turns sympathetic as she nods. It’s nothing new but she usually allows Seungwan some space to deal with her nerves when she can. Seungwan has become much more confident in the last weeks but she still has a long way to go.

‘As long as you found your way back,’ Boa assures. ‘So the journalist from Elle is just next door but she won’t be asking anything uncomfortable. Introduce the series, talk about how you find your character so far and maybe drop a vague spoiler. She’ll also ask about the workshops and how you prepared for the role. And most importantly, how you feel about doing a Girls’ Love series,’ Seungwan’s manager recounts, looking at both of them seriously.

Seungwan nods solemnly. She definitely has a response to the last one, at least.

Right then, Kang Seulgi enters the room, carrying bottled water and the unfinished iced coffee that Seungwan saw Joohyun sip earlier. The two managers seem to have worked out the way to maximise their efforts for the actresses in tandem, which is a relief because not unlike Seungwan and Joohyun, they have to spend a lot of time together on the other side of the cameras. 

‘Ready?’ She asks and Joohyun nods with confidence. Seungwan can only follow along again. It’s their first official interview, not counting the press conference two months ago during which Seungwan sat frozen and mostly mortified – and when asked to introduce herself and her role, accidentally hit herself in her front teeth with the microphone.

But it still doesn’t feel real. Months of working side by side almost uninterruptedly, months of acting out scenes from the script and then practicing the physical closeness during the workshops… Yet it still feels like the first time Seungwan saw Joohyun enter the casting room and her breath got caught in her chest, temporarily unable to find release.

See, Son Seungwan has a huge secret. Bae Joohyun has been her celebrity crush for more than three years and pretty much the sole reason why Seungwan chose to audition for Channel 3 out of all the other companies she could have gone for.

So yeah.

The reporter comes in just then, introducing herself and giving them heads up about the content, questions similar to those Boa has just mentioned. Seungwan lets Joohyun take the lead as always, preferring to sit tight and smile politely as the two other women exchange pleasantries. Finally, they start recording and Seungwan’s immediately tasked with the introductions.

She’s practiced this part in front of the mirror more than five times but she still stutters.

Come Hell and High Water tells a story of a girl called Wendy who enters university, hoping to find a boyfriend after a series of many awkward dates. Instead, she almost immediately becomes relentlessly pursued by another girl from her department. In her desperation to fend off the unwelcome attention, Wendy takes the advice of her friends to enter a fake relationship with the university’s star volleyball player, Irene, not knowing that the senior has had a crush on her for a long time.

Quite frankly, explaining the storyline is the most basic thing that Seungwan should be able to do as the show’s lead actress but even that makes her low key nervous because of her own feelings. Although she’s pretty sure that she is not very obvious – apart from being star struck on top of everything, that is – she still worries. Seungwan doesn’t want to give Joohyun any reason to avoid her and she is sure that Joohyun just might, considering what happened to her last year.

Seungwan’s heart aches just thinking about it.

‘…is it true?’ The journalist smiles and Seungwan blinks at her, not knowing what is going on. She spaced out again. Joohyun laughs warmly at the younger’s stupefied expression and briefly squeezes her hand in encouragement but letting go of it just as quickly.

‘Seems so. I was surprised myself but I took it as a good sign at that time.’ When there is no response from Seungwan, Joohyun prompts. ‘Your ears were totally red when we read for one of the romantic scenes during the casting, remember?’

Oh. Seungwan nods, feeling herself blushing again at the memory. As if she didn’t feel embarrassed enough by the temporary loss of awareness just now.

‘Unnie is… very pretty,’ she admits. ‘I’ve been her fan for a long time. To see her at that casting was a big surprise for me.’

‘How many other actresses did you read the part with?’

‘Oh… many,’ Seungwan chuckles. ‘More than thirty, I think.’

‘I had actually read with a few other candidates as well,’ Joohyun adds. ‘When I first heard that the company would make the series. It felt very important for me to be part of it, though I didn’t think I was the favourite for Irene. Actually, I initially just came to audition for a smaller part, that of Wendy’s sister. It was during day 2 that the casting director asked if I wanted to read another scene as Irene.’

Seungwan steals a glance to the left at the words. To anyone else, Joohyun probably looks enthusiastic about the experience but Seungwan would like to think that she knows her a little better by now. There is that tiny bit of insecurity related to her past disappointment and deep inside Seungwan prays that the journalist doesn’t drag the issue out again like she saw some have been doing. It is Joohyun’s first television appearance in almost a year and Seungwan somehow feels responsible for reassuring her comfort.

She doesn’t know whether it was her opinion that eventually landed Joohyun the role but the elder is right – she wasn’t the favourite. In fact, the casting staff seemed surprised when Seungwan mentioned how she liked her audition with Joohyun the most. There was another girl they clearly favoured, a newbie like Seungwan but soon after that day, Boa told her that she’d act opposite her idol. Since then, Seungwan has always thought that her red ears and star struck expression as Joohyun was courting her in the scene did the trick.

Joohyun is actually so good that she managed to sweep Seungwan off her feet even when the younger knew that it was all just an act. Not that Seungwan didn’t already know just how natural Joohyun could be on the screen but still. Her talent alone caused the company to overlook her scandal and give her another chance. Seungwan’s words most probably only gave them a small push in the right direction.

The journalist looks down on her tablet, looking for another suitable question.

‘In the novel, Irene fell in love with Wendy despite not even knowing her name and harboured feelings for her for a long time before they formally met. Her love seems to be very pure. How about you? Can you tell the viewers, what does love mean to you?’

Seungwan looks at Joohyun, seeing her fall silent for a moment. Just as she decides to take over, the elder opens .

‘I think… It means to always give your best. We all make mistakes but as long as we are honest with our feelings, that’s enough. Sometimes we might get hurt, too… Like many, I have been hurt before. But I don’t regret anything. I feel that I did my best in the situation,’ she adds quietly but looking straight into the camera and Seungwan cannot help but be in awe of her courage. Despite everything, she’s not afraid. She’s trying to get over the issue and not give others any more reasons to badmouth her.

Suddenly, Seungwan also wishes to be the person that Joohyun will give her best too. Because although she has harboured a celebrity crush on her for some time, in the last few months during which they worked together it became obvious that the private Bae Joohyun is even kinder and sweeter than her public persona. And Son Seungwan couldn’t help but fall for her just as fast and hard.

But right now, courting Joohyun seems like an impossible dream. Despite their warm interactions and occasional skinship for the sake of fan service, it’s clear that Joohyun is reserved, keeping her distance so as not to make the same mistake twice and make Seungwan uncomfortable. As they say, once bitten, twice shy. The only thing Seungwan can do is try to show the other she is there for her, and that her heart is open.

But as shy as she is, even that feels beyond her.

Seungwan opens her IG the following Friday night, readying herself for her weekly live stream. Despite the recently tightening schedule, she tries to keep her communication with fans going as much as she can. Granted, it’s a little overwhelming to see more than thirty thousand viewers at once instead of the usual hundred and twenty or so, but it’s flattering. They’re mostly nice people – asking questions about her media preferences or suggesting songs to play on the air.

[Unnie, is the shooting tiresome?]

‘Sometimes,’ Seungwan admits out loud, making herself comfortable on the sofa and bringing the tablet closer to her face so as not to miss any important comments. ‘But we don’t have that much left. We are now more of less halfway through the schedule. Thank you always for all the kind words. We’re really trying for you, you guys.’

[I just love RinDy chemistry so much, I can’t stop watching the first episode and I really need more.]

‘Thank you so much.’ Seungwan smiles shyly. She hadn’t initially been so confident in her acting skills but her naturalness has been complimented on several occasions and it makes her incredibly happy because it means that she isn’t ruining every teenage girl’s favourite novel.

[I honestly didn’t think the Channel would let Bae Joohyun do another series so fast, let alone a wlw romance. I hope Seungwan takes care of herself.]

Seungwan stills at the words, her smile frozen. She knows that she shouldn’t respond to any of the unpleasant comments, she’s been specifically instructed several times not to. The poster probably didn’t even intend for Seungwan to see the comment among others, seeing how fast the fan section was rolling but it did catch her eye.

She clears awkwardly.

[Is Joohyun unnie with you?]

How can she be, Seungwan wonders but says nothing. She’s probably in her own house, eating dinner or something.

[Stop asking about other people, we’re here for Seungwan. Just watch if you don’t have anything better to say. Seungwan-ah, I love you. Please, sing a Dua Lipa cover!]

This is why going live has recently been giving Seungwan mild anxiety. Nobody expected anything out of her before. The comments were rare and usually nice. Now many fans argue, not even realising that their words can sometimes offend both her and people whom she works with. It’s a little hurtful.

[Can you tell us a funny story from the set?]

‘Oh…’ She ponders the question, trying to leave the awkwardness behind. ‘There is an episode where Irene teaches Wendy how to play volleyball… Can I say it? I hope I’m not spoiling too much. It’s a new scene that it not in the original novel. Actually, I’m not a very sporty person but Joohyun unnie is. So during the rehearsal she passed me the ball, trying to teach me how to receive but it hit me in the head instead and I fell, somehow tearing the backside of my shorts… That was embarrassing,’ the girl chuckles at the memory. ‘Maybe you’ll have a chance to see it in the behind the scenes footage…’

[Joohyun’s just joined your live!]

Seungwan stops when she sees the comment. The messages go by too fast for her to notice anything else but she waves unsurely.

‘Joohyun unnie? You’re saying she’s watching me? Hello!’ She looks at the screen intently and after a moment, there is another comment from a certified account which she now easily catches.

[Dongsaeng, fighting. I like your singing very much.]

Seungwan smiles, feeling warm inside.

[OMG, do a live together, please!]

[Yes, unnie. Call Joohyun unnie for a bit. I love you both so much!]

‘I don’t know…’ Seungwan scratches her neck sheepishly. ‘Unnie is probably busy.’

[You can call me.]

Seungwan blinks, almost blushing at the approval of the elder. In the last few months they have become friendly and comfortable with each other when in private but she thinks that interacting under the watchful gaze of so many fans is a different experience altogether.

‘O-okay, then. I’ll try to add Joohyun unnie to the video now. Please, send us questions if you have any.’ Seungwan nods, fumbling with her tablet. She’s never tried this function before.

She seems to have been successful because after a moment, Joohyun’s face appears on the bottom part of the screen, looking relaxed and domestic. Her hair is up but there’s barely any make up on her face. She’s also wearing the favourite stretched out T- that Seungwan recognises from workshops.

‘Hello, everyone,’ Joohyun greets and Seungwan almost sighs at the velvety voice. It’s still hard to believe that she gets to interact with the elder actress on a regular basis. ‘How are you today, Seungwan?’

[Have you two not seen each other today?]

‘No.’ It is Joohyun who replies. She appears to be following the comment section as well. ‘There was no shooting today.’

‘Unnie, hi!’ Seungwan tries to contain her smile, fearing it to soon become too creepy. ‘Right, not today. But we will see each other tomorrow. Actually, I’ve baked those muffins I told you about the other day. I’ll bring them for you to try.’ Seungwan smiles wider when she senses Joohyun’s excitement. She now knows that the other has quite a sweet tooth.

[Uh, I ship them so hard.]

[They seem to have such great chemistry off-screen, too.]

[Seungwan, please say you love Joohyun unnie!]

Seungwan’s eyes shoot up, trying not to read any more comments lest her head might just explode from too much blood rushing to it.

‘Seungwan is such a cute dongsaeng. She’s always so kind to everybody. Working with her is a pleasure and I hope you all continue to support her. And my fans too, please take care of her well.’

Seungwan has no time to bask in the praise because she notices another comment right away.

[Joohyun still has fans? She did Jennie so dirty and never really apologised.]

Seungwan notices Joohyun freeze for a moment and she knows that the elder saw it, too.

[Just shut up. Joohyun has already admitted her mistake and made peace with Jennie. They have nothing to do with each other anymore.]

[You people always excuse Joohyun but shun Jennie aside for speaking out.]

[Can you all just focus on supporting Seungwan and Joohyun now? That issue is already in the past.]

Seungwan clears awkwardly, temporarily turning off the comment section and grabbing her guitar from the floor.

‘How about I sing something? Unnie, what would you like to hear?’

Seungwan is desperate to lift the mood because Joohyun’s expression wavers, clearly trying not to mind the viewers’ opinions. Rejection in itself is already bad enough but to have to publically relive something like that seems to really be the ultimate torture. Seungwan thinks that Joohyun might not want to become closer to anyone for a long time and it saddens her. Both because she pities the actress but also because she knows that not everyone would react to Joohyun’s attention the way Jennie did.

Seungwan, for one, would more than welcome it.

She’s successful in bringing a small smile to Joohyun’s lips.

‘How about you give us a short snippet of the new song you’ve recorded for our show? Even I haven’t heard it yet.’

‘Unnie!’ Seungwan nearly shrieks and Joohyun chuckles. ‘Are we allowed to give such spoilers?’ Unlike the elder, she is still nervous about everything related to the production and possible breaching of their contract.

Joohyun dismisses the concern lightly.

‘Just a few lines should be fine. We will be recording a music video together soon, won’t we?’

‘Next week, I think,’ Seungwan replies meekly, giving in.

It’s a little embarrassing but Seungwan is more afraid of the other topic resurfacing. As of right now, the previous argument seem to have died down and fans are getting excited about the new content again. So Seungwan adjust the instrument in her hold and plays the first part of the chorus.

‘I helped write the lyrics,’ she says proudly when she’s done and Joohyun smiles.

About whom she wrote the song, Seungwan doesn’t add.

They shoot parts of episode six the next day.

It’s the one in which Irene and Wendy argue in a bar and Wendy admits for the first time that she’s jealous of Irene but then feigns being drunk and not remembering anything. It’s also the episode where Irene becomes frustrated with Wendy’s stubbornness to go out with another boy and spontaneously locks their lips together in order to clearly articulate her feelings.

Actually, despite all the workshops and rehearsals that they’ve done together, the two of them have not actually kissed before. It’s going to be pretty nerve-wrecking, Seungwan thinks to herself as she glances towards her partner standing a mere few feet away. Joohyun doesn’t seem that fazed but it might just be her keeping up appearance. She does have experience with on-screen kissing, though probably not women.

‘I’m glad it’s you this time,’ Joohyun says right before the first clap. Seungwan frowns, surprised. ‘You’ll probably find out in due time but kissing actors during shooting is always awkward, at least it is for me. Technically we all know it’s just pretending but I feel like I can’t look them in the eye after. I even caught two co-stars comparing their experiences with me when they got drunk at the company function last year, I was so humiliated.’ Joohyun averts her eyes, nervously pushing a loose strand of hair behind her left ear. Seungwan feels mortified on the other’s behalf.

‘I would never,’ she ensures and Joohyun nods with a light smile.

‘I know.’

‘Mostly because I’m probably so bad at this, you’ll be the one looking all put off,’ Seungwan attempts a joke but Joohyun shakes her head seriously.

‘It’ll be fine. Right now you just have to stay still and I’ll touch your lips with mine. We’ll worry about the other things when we get to them. I’m just glad it’s you. I feel more at ease.’ Joohyun nods again to herself and Seungwan’s stupid heart starts beating fast, unreasonably so because this is just work. It’s not like Bae Joohyun is confessing to her.

Except she did just say she prefers professionally kissing Seungwan to all the other male co-stars so that still counts for something.

Probably.

The shooting goes smoothly with only three takes. Seungwan manages not to screw up her lines and pushes through the light-headedness that comes with the moist lip lock the best she can. She her lips right after though when Joohyun turns away, feeling both elated and like she’s just done something extremely creepy. She has no time to contemplate it for too long anyway because there is more to shoot. Though another scene which she has to do with Park Sooyoung who plays Joy, the other girl pursuing Seungwan’s character, seems to be a piece of cake in comparison.

‘Do you mind if I take you home today? There’s actually something I want to talk to you about.’ Joohyun’s hand on Seungwan’s shoulder brings the latter out of her reverie. The latter still tingles a little after the scene they’re done together, even if it’s all just for professional purposes.

‘Oh?’

Seungwan didn’t think that there would be anything in particular they’d need to be alone for to discuss but she’s not going to argue with Joohyun wanting to spend more time with her. They sometimes call each other, yes – but they’re still not close enough to consider each other great friends. Seungwan thinks that it must be the result of both her lingering feelings and Joohyun drawing clear lines between them for the sake of protecting her own image.

Seulgi and Boa go back first once they’ve made sure that the actresses have not been excessively harassed by the few fans waiting outside the shooting venue and entered Joohyun’s car safely. The elder puts on some relaxing tune which Seungwan recognises as a love song from a famous Korean band and they pretty much spend the entirety of their drive in silence, though not an uncomfortable one. When Seungwan looks out of the window, she realises that they are already near the Han River.

Joohyun finds a parking spot after a moment and gestures at Seungwan to follow her to a two storey jokbal place.

‘I thought you’d be hungry. You mentioned the other day that it’s your favourite…’

‘I am, but…’ Boa’s lectures about watching her weight cross her mind immediately. Joohyun makes a knowing face at the hesitation.

‘We can split the small set and order fizzy drinks instead of beer, I’m driving anyway. It’ll be fine.’

They enter and take a seat close to one of the windows. Joohyun waits until the waiter in a well ironed apron around his waist takes their order and brings them water, before saying,

‘First of all, I feel that I need to apologise.’ Seungwan frowns at the words, turning her full attention to the elder woman when just seconds ago she was intently staring at the box with cutlery standing on the table. ‘For what happened yesterday and also for the fact that I’ve waited so long to talk to you about it.’

Yesterday..? Seungwan racks her brain for an event that would fit Joohyun’s troubled expression.

‘You have to excuse me, I just didn’t know how to bring it up… You can probably imagine that I was dreading the day when I would have to bring it up. In fact, I was sort of hoping I’d just never have to talk about it at all.’

‘What are you talking about, exactly?’ Seungwan clears , blinking at Joohyun.

‘Well… About what happened on the set of my last show. With- With Jennie.’ Joohyun nearly whispers, looking away.

Seungwan’s head goes light in an instant. Joohyun is probably right. This particular topic is the last issue that Seungwan ever expected her to discuss.

‘W-What about it?’ She stammers, involuntarily reddening.

She can’t help it, though – she is a fan, after all, hence you can say that she more or less already knows how the whole incident went down. Granted, she might be a little biased but the facts that have been disclosed to the public, she is aware of them all.

Should she pretend that she doesn’t..?

‘I know you saw those comments during yesterday’s live. Perhaps you’ve seen them before… God, I hope not. I’d hate for people to harass you about it even without me in the picture.’

Seungwan notices that Joohyun’s hands lying on the surface between them start shaking slightly and the elder quickly balls them into fists.

‘It was a little stupid of me to think that it wouldn’t resurface now. I know that despite the popularity of our serial there are many who think that I don’t deserve a second chance.’

‘Don’t think like that,’ Seungwan interrupts and puts her palm over one of Joohyun’s in a gesture of reassurance. Joohyun looks at their linked hands for a moment before continuing,

‘It was a mistake. An honest one, but a mistake. I never wanted to make her uncomfortable, I really thought that I was getting signals from her… Oh god, it does sound like excuses.’ Joohyun shakes her head, looking more miserable by the second.

‘You don’t have to explain anything to me,’ Seungwan insists, squeezing the hand in her own once. ‘You don’t have to make it my business or anything.’

‘I’m sorry, Seungwan, but it is and will be your business now.’ Joohyun lips tremble slightly as she says it. ‘I’m just- I’m just trying to think of a way to shield you from the worst of it but I still don’t know how.’

 ‘I know I look fragile but I’m not that weak. I don’t think it will be difficult to simply ignore such unfounded criticism.’

‘You’re new to this, though. You’ve been everyone’s darling since day one – and it’s great, I’m really happy for you. But you also haven’t seen the ugly side of popularity yet. One false move and they all turn against you. In the first couple of months it was honestly difficult to even leave the house. I felt like everyone was watching me, even though I’m not even that famous. It felt completely unfair, even though I know I’ve caused this. And now…’ Joohyun takes a deep breath. ‘Now I’m afraid that you’ll have to deal with this too. By association.’

‘I already know… I mean, I’ve been your fan for a long time,’ Seungwan confesses, but it is not of course a new information to Joohyun. ‘I’d known even before we first met. It doesn’t matter to me. You’ve apologised, after all. There’s nothing more you can do. Some just don’t want to acknowledge your remorse because that’ll leave them with no reason to hate you. So they just continue.’

The two fall silent, thinking of something else to say. Naturally, there is one unspoken question that hangs between them but Seungwan doesn’t know whether it’s appropriate to even ask about it. It would be just for the sake of satisfying her own curiosity anyway, not because she feels unsafe next to Joohyun. Truth be told, she doesn’t truly believe the other involved actress’s version of the story – or maybe she just doesn’t want to.

Joohyun is the first one to speak up.

‘If you knew… Why did you pick me?’

‘Huh?’

‘You say that you were familiar with the scandal. Why did you pick me at the audition? Weren’t you disgusted with me..?’

‘No!’ Seungwan denies vehemently. ‘And it wasn’t really me-‘

‘I know it was you,’ Joohyun insists. ‘I know they were ready to cast Kim Sojung but you convinced them otherwise. Boa told me later, she had a friend on the casting team.’

Seungwan scratches her neck sheepishly. To lie or to tell the complete truth? In the end, she goes for a third option which is leaving out her own, not so professional feelings from the answer.

‘I don’t really believe I had so much influence over the production stuff, to be honest. They asked me whom I felt the most chemistry with out of all the candidates… So I just told them what they wanted to know.’ Seungwan can’t take more than a few seconds of holding gaze with Joohyun before she gets shy. ‘Maybe they saw it, too. That we were comfortable with one another from the start.’

Joohyun hums in agreement, still not looking entirely convinced but then the food arrives and they munch on the pork pieces for a longer while before resuming the conversation.

‘You’re not asking but you probably want to know about it, don’t you.’ Joohyun eventually puts down her chopsticks and takes a deep breath. She looks at her companion soberly. ‘Which brings me to the main point to my invitation tonight.’

Seungwan stops chewing, caught by surprise with cheeks still full of meat and banchan. There’s more?

‘What Jennie said in that video… It’s the truth. I kissed her when she didn’t welcome it. It’s a little complicated – in retrospect, I think I must have got carried away and fallen for her… And fans pushing us together only further encouraged me, till I thought that she felt the same way when it was just a job she reluctantly did to promote the show. I cannot tell you how much I regret having made her uncomfortable but I cannot turn back time. I can only move forward and make sure I don’t make the same mistake twice.’

Joohyun picks up her utensils but it’s more to have something to focus her gaze on than anything else. It’s like she’s readying herself for what she has to say next.

‘The recent interview is just the first of many things we’ll have to do together – reality appearances, talk shows and fan meetings. Especially now that the story is gaining audience. I know that I will have no choice but to do certain things with you. With permission, of course, but some things are unavoidable, like feigning intimacy. So I guess what I’m saying is… I’m asking you not to take it the wrong way. Like I’m making advances at you or taking advantage of the situation. It’ll be completely professional so you don’t ever have to wonder if I have feelings for you. I really appreciate this chance and I won’t make you regret having chosen me to do this show together.’

Seungwan forgets how to breathe at the words, completely stunned.

‘I won’t, I promise. I won’t repeat that err of judgement. I won’t be falling in love on the set again.’

‘Wh-What..? Seungwan’s heart stills and she doesn’t know what to say.

It now appears that she’s been excluded from the race for Joohyun’s affection before she even had a chance to put on her running shoes.

‘So you don’t have to tip toe around me. And me too, I won’t take your words and actions as more than fan service. Okay?’

Seungwan opens but again, nothing comes out. What is she supposed to reply with? What is she supposed to say to a person she’s had a crush on all this while?

Just perfect.

A/N: Comment and upvote if you liked? I'll try to add the other part(s) as soon as I am done with editing them. Have a good day!

(I don't expect any of my readers to be familiar with the Thai bl industry but this story is also /very/ slightly inspired by a certain scandal. I mean no offence in that respect, I actually really like the actor involved.)

Title: Nat Sakdatorn - "One Love"