“Are you—are you sleeping?”

Someone elbows her, and Kyungha startles awake. Joohyun widens her eyes, mouthing something that Kyungha is too exhausted to make out.

Jason chortles, “send her home already. This is why most residents aren’t twenty.”

Sehun rolls his eyes. “Jason lay off.” He directs an icy glare at her. “Kyungha, why don’t you tell me what Hana’s condition is?”

Kyungha bites her lip. She racks her brain for information. At other times, her brain would be working full-speed, and without a fail, sending her the exact right words to say. But she didn’t know. Honestly.

“You don’t know?” He asks, his voice almost bordering on disbelief.

Kyungha avoids Seulgi and Joohyun’s eyes because this is embarrassing. It’s never happened to her before. She was supposed to be the smart one. Capable. If she wasn’t, then who was she?

Jason ends up answering for her. He even sends her a sneer, private from everyone else—as if they were sharing an inside joke. Kyungha ignores him. Frankly, she didn’t care much about his presence. He wasn’t any different from her own peers.

They leave the room, and Sehun, once again, stops her to lecture her. Kyungha didn’t listen to much of what he said. She only heard the words irresponsible, lazy, and the rest, she couldn’t remember.

The truth is Kyungha hadn’t slept well during this entire week. Her insomnia had come back for the time being. It had matched with the day she had told Sehun to off. And then, the next day, Jason psychoanalyzing her made it worse. He gave her an existential crisis that Kyungha still had to deal with. And that was during the time she had off work when she could be sleeping.

She couldn’t remember the last day she had more than two hours of sleep. Kyungha’s shift became difficult as it was more of a battle to stay awake and alert.

But she knows she doesn’t have time to feel sorry for herself. She needs to start getting her together, even if she wasn’t mentally in the right place.

Joohyun and Seulgi meet up with her in the staff lounge. Kyungha stretches her limbs, ignoring the concerned eyes watching her.

“Kyungie, are you sure you’re okay?” Seulgi asks, touching her arm.

Kyungha answers flatly, “of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

Joohyun shifts. “Is it about what Jason said?”

Seulgi and Kyungha grimace at the mention of his name. “You can think whatever you want, but I’m okay. I just need to sleep.”

Seulgi’s eyebrows knit together. “The insomnia’s back isn’t it?”

Kyungha turns away. She didn’t feel like contributing to this conversation anymore. She had never told Seulgi that she had the condition. Seulgi had realized it on her own when Kyungha had stayed up for three days straight during exam week.

Joohyun sighs, palming her face. “, I’m so sorry, Kyungha. I should’ve shut him up. He just—he’s—“ She struggles to finishes.

Seulgi, with a determined expression, pulls the two of them onto the lounge chairs. “We’re going to talk about this. I can’t watch both of you self-destruct in front of me. I genuinely care about you guys. And yes, even your annoying , Joohyun.”

Joohyun smiles shyly, wrapping an arm around Seulgi. “Thanks, Seul.”

Kyungha tries to come up with an excuse. She’d rather not talk about herself. Seulgi glares at her, knowing fully of her intentions. She shrinks.

“So, Joohyun, Jason mentioned that you knew each other in high school. What was that about?” Seulgi begins.

She had no intention of starting gently. Okay. That Kyungha could not work with. She needs to get out now while she can.

Seulgi clears , holding onto Kyungha’s shoulders. Joohyun answers timidly, “yeah, we were childhood friends. He’s one of those guys who peaked in high school and had the mindset that he was invincible. I loved him since we were kids.”

Silence fills the room. Kyungha’s never felt sorry for anyone. She’d always hated it when people pitied her, but Joohyun—the girl had it the worse.

“He has that natural charm that made me want to stick around him nonetheless. I thought it was okay if I was his friend. I mean, he at least treated his friends well. Or so, I thought he did. We—uh—we had , and then I confessed later.” Joohyun stops looking at either of them, hanging her head in shame. “He ghosted me…until the night at the club and…now.”

Seulgi shoots from her seat. Kyungha calmly stands, putting her hand around the shorter girl. “What are you planning to do?”

Seulgi grits out, “let me go, Kyungie. He needs to be taught a lesson—I need to personally see to it that he’s limping.”

For a girl, Seulgi was one of the most loyal and fierce people she had ever met. Kyungha never thought of it as much, but now, she’d regretted dismissing Seulgi throughout Columbia. She might’ve done reckless, often stupid things, but she felt that Seulgi would have her back no matter what happened. But that was if Kyungha had trusted her.

She didn’t trust anyone, much less that she’d trusted her closest friends.

Kyungha sighs, using the strength she had rarely utilized to pull Seulgi back down. She watches her friend glare at her. “So you’re going to confront him? What are you going to do next? Talk it out—punch him? What’s going to change, Seul? His attitude is going to be the same. He’ll look down on you even more. If people find out, you’ll be the one in hot water. He’ll blame it on how emotional us women are. Then, you’ll be forced to endure more bull as he comes out on top. Is that what you want? Giving him the satisfaction to further step all over you?”

Her friends are rendered silent. Joohyun gapes at her. “I—I, wow, Kyungha, Jason was right about why I wanted to be around you, you know? Ever since I met you, I’ve just thought that you were the strongest and most mature. I was so jealous of you. I—you’re unbelievable. How can you be so rational? Girl, what have you gone through?”

Kyungha has no intention to reveal any of that either. She carefully retorts, “look, I’m just like any of you. There’s no need to put me on a pedestal.”

Seulgi snorts, “let me introduce you, everybody, CEO of modesty for no good reason.”

She elbows Seulgi, who sticks out her tongue. Then, her expression grows serious again as she turns back to Joohyun. “Are you still in love with him?”

Joohyun winces, shaking her head with fury. “Of course not, he’s a terrible person. Even if I was clouded with love, I could still see that. We were never going to be—you know—a thing. It was something I accepted a long time ago.”

Kyungha throws her an encouraging smile—something she’d only done around her family. “See? You shouldn’t be jealous of me. You’re fully capable of realizing something like that. Me? I’m stupid when it comes to emotions and all that crap. I can’t deal with the mushiness.”

Seulgi agrees with a cheeky grin, “that is very true. But you know what really tickles my pickle? Kyungha’s only twenty, but she had the highest body count out of all the girls on our college campus.”

Joohyun’s jaw drops. “What? I thought you were a !”

Kyungha rolls her eyes. “Thank you for revealing more unnecessary information about me, Seul.”

Seulgi throws her arms around the younger, choking her. “I love you too!”

Joohyun giggles. “Is anyone going to elaborate? I’m still in shock.”

“I like s, sue me.”

“But like…you don’t have any romantic feelings toward anyone? Ever?”

Kyungha sighs. This is why she wasn’t a people person. It was exhausting having to share information about her life. “I don’t believe in love. It’s stupid. People get hurt. Excuses like life’s too short or you’ll find the one if you keep looking. Boo-hoo, I don’t care about that crap. It’s a capitalistic tool, and it’s animal instincts. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not above it—I’d just rather spare myself from a potential hassle.”

Seulgi nods, “I’ve already tried convincing her. And because of that, she’d tried numerously disowning me as a roommate, but luckily, there were no spare rooms.”

Kyungha grunts, “you’re a pain in the .”

Joohyun smiles adoringly at them. “I’m glad I met you both. Honestly.”

Seulgi beams. “Me too, Joo. Best friends forever!”

“I never agreed to this.”

“Kyungie, live a little.”

Kyungha visits Dani as routine. The little girl is already waiting for her as she pokes and prods at her breakfast. When she sees Kyungha, she jumps up, abandoning her food.

“It’s so early—god, how can you be this energetic? You remind me of another eccentric individual,” she says without thinking, so she ends up biting her tongue when she realizes that she’d accidentally mentioned him.

Speaking of the devil, he appears through the doorway, smugly saying, “I hope you weren’t talking about me.”

She snaps, “why does it matter? Why are you here? Why are you everywhere?”

Sehun doesn’t offer his usual relaxed smile. He levels a look at her. “I told you to cut it out with the attitude, didn’t I?”

Kyungha simply doesn’t care. She didn’t get enough sleep to mind his precious feelings. “Stop micromanaging me. You’re not my dad. Jongdae doesn’t even go these lengths. What’s your problem?”

He lets out a loud, sharp scoff. “What’s my prob—for ’s sakes, do I look like I’m Jongdae? I’m educating you! You’re a ing doctor, act like one.”

“You first because frankly, doctors are supposed to be professional—“ She doesn’t miss the lividity in his eyes when she throws his words back into his face. “—but here you are, yelling at me and scaring Dani. So, why don’t you go take your own advice and get lost.”

Dani is currently curled around her leg, glancing between the two with uncertainty.

Sehun realizes this and softens his expression. “Sorry, Dani. I didn’t mean to—“ He sends Kyungha a glare before crouching to Dani’s eye level. “I didn’t mean to scare you, honey. I promised you I’d bring you some ice cream, but I had to stop by to tell you that I’m busy, so I’ll have to do that next time, hm?”

Dani nods, eyes wide. She seems to be understanding enough, but Kyungha isn’t. She waits silently with her arms crossed.

“Meet me outside, Do Kyungha.” And he’s not messing around. He’s using that tone again.

Kyungha ignores him with her usual flare of defiance. “For what? You’ve given me enough to survive for a whole year.”

He clenches his jaw. “And were you listening?”

“No.”

“Exactly, so get your out here before I drag you.”

“Oh, so you need my permission to touch me now? Since when did you care so much, your majesty?”

“Kyungha, I swear—“

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” she spats. Kyungha has reached an all-time low. She’d brought something personal between them. . She couldn’t take it back.

Sehun’s eyes grow wide when he realizes what she was talking about. “Kyungha,” he begins.

She holds out a hand. “Don’t,” she insists. Then, with a hard glare, she continues, “if you’re not going to leave, then I’ll see myself out.” Her gaze drops to Dani who looks crestfallen. “Sorry, Dani. I’ll play with you next time.”

Then, she leaves because it’s the one she’s good at. Being around Sehun made her throws her composure out the window and straight onto a speeding truck.

It’s like all her rationality—hell, the advice she gave her friends—they didn’t work on her when it came to Sehun.

Talking to Sehun made her lose brain cells. She couldn’t handle herself because it was simple really, he was the biggest piece of work that she had to deal with. Working with him—being in the same confinement with him—only made everything worse.

All the confusion, pain, hurt, and other feelings she had squashed in the proverbial locked chest. It came back to her in a matter of months. Kyungha had four years, four peaceful years, without his presence. She thought she’d moved on from this. From her bitterness. From her hatred. Then, the universe suddenly sent her a giant, snide you.

Kyungha’s hope of serenity for this entire year was suddenly gone. Instead, she got an all-time-charming man who did nothing but pissed her off as of late.

And his biggest sin? Disturbing her sleep. Not only that—he’d appeared in her dreams more than one occasion. But to be exact, nightmares would be the correct terminology.

She couldn’t believe her luck. If she didn’t see him in person, he’d show up in her dreams. She was just a girl who wanted some peace, and it was something that would never be fulfilled. Ever again? Kyungha could bet a million dollars and win the entire pot. Sehun was like those infinite series in Calculus. You couldn’t integrate one without using approximation. It wasn’t exact, and that was her biggest pet peeve.

She couldn’t put a finger on him. Why is he so persistent? Why is he the only person that she loses her head to? Another three hundred questions cross her mind at light speed and Kyungha caves.

She marches off to the emergency room to look for Suzy, who is helpfully sitting at her desk, overlooking the mildly packed room.

Suzy beams when Kyungha comes into view. Her smile falls when she realizes Kyungha isn’t happy. “Hey—“ She begins only to trail off to ask her what was wrong.

“You’re a nurse practitioner right?”

Suzy nods warily. “That I am.”

Kyungha smiles quickly. “Can you prescribe me sleeping pills?”

Kyungha counts down the time. 3, 2, 1.

Her shift has ended. She pulls off her doctor’s gown. Kyungha heads to the locker room to grab her belongings. The door swings open amidst her shuffling through her bag, and she turns to see who it is.

Joohyun looks out of breath as she sends Kyungha an urgent look. Kyungha frowns in response, her hands growing stationary.

“You—“ Her friend heaves. “You—you need to come…right now.”

“Why? My shift is over. If you need something, ask—“

Joohyun shakes her head frantically. “No, you need to see this. Hurry,” she urges, pointing to the door.

Kyungha lags begins Joohyun who is running—and Joohyun never runs if she can help it. There was something wrong. A bad feeling settles in her gut as she follows the girl who pounds on the elevator key.

“Are you not going to tell me what’s wrong?” Kyungha asks when the elevator door closes behind them.

Joohyun glances around her. There are other people with them. She cautiously answers, “um, you’ll see. Seulgi sent me a text, and I grabbed you on the way.”

Kyungha isn’t satisfied with her vague answer, but whatever, she wasn’t in a rush. Maybe for some sleep, hopefully? But that could be solved with some pills.

Joohyun finally grows frustrated with Kyungha’s pace and has resorted to grabbing her wrist and pulling her along.

Kyungha doesn’t really see why the girl is so freaked out, but she begins to understand when they arrive at the long corridor that leads to the pediatric ward.

“ you!” She hears Jason bellow from inside a wide circle of people.

Across from him, Sehun is being held back by other staff members. “Say it again. Tell me what you just said again!”

Jason sneers, “what? About Do Kyungha? You wish is my command, your majesty. She’s a pig-headed . There I said it, you happy?”

“Do I look happy, you pompous er? Let me go! I’m gonna beat the out of—“

Kyungha groans when Jason opens his mouth to speak again. He was going to add more fuel to the fire. For ’s sakes.

“Why do you care anyway? I thought we all collectively disliked her.” Then, he pretends to be surprised, holding a palm over his mouth. “Oh,” he drawls. “I see. You’re ing her too, aren’t you? You’re just making your way through all the interns at this point. Man, I’d give you a high five if you weren’t jumping at my throat.”

Kyungha had to give it to him. He really had a way with his words. In a vexing way. There were no redeeming qualities about Jason, but he did know how to run his mouth. Which was why she waited.

As expected, Sehun breaks out of his colleagues’ grasp and lunges at Jason, throwing a mean hook across his face. The loud crack could be heard from here.

She didn’t kid when she said that everyone stopped breathing to watch the scene unfold. Jason shoves Sehun to the ground, throwing a punch across Sehun’s face. This is where Kyungha marches in.

The security guards have arrived and have managed to pull the two apart before they could do any more damage.

Jason clutches his eye, currently green—and soon enough, there’d be a nasty bruise. He’d deserved more than a black eye for what he said to her friends—for the emotional belittlement he’d put Joohyun through.

But a punch was enough. For now. Kyungha steps in front of Sehun who looks at her with an unreadable expression.

She claps a hand loudly, startling the frozen people around her. Seulgi rushes past the crowd to her with worry. “Alright, the show’s over.”

With one last sweeping look over the crowd who begins to reluctantly disperse, she pulls Sehun from the ground up. He begins to pull away from her, but she interlaces their fingers, forcing him to stand up.

He lets his strength go and lets Kyungha drag him away from the voices. Seulgi stands back with confusion, but she doesn’t question.

They stop by the supply room as Kyungha grabs some disinfectant and bandaids. Then, she pulls him until they’re in room 1308, alone with no questioning eyes.

She shoves him down on his bunk, ignoring his wince. “Are you stupid? You told me to act like a doctor. And what the hell do you go and do? You punch someone. Stupid. So stupid. You’re a surgeon for god’s sakes.”

Sehun’s body quivers, and Kyungha realizes he’s laughing. She rolls her eyes, ripping the packaging away from the forceps. She twists the bottle of disinfectant iodophor.

“What were you thinking?” She asks with a calmer tone this time.

His laughing fit begins to end, and he bites his lip. “I wasn’t.”

Kyungha is unamused, first of all. She roughly grabs his right hand, cleaning up the cuts on his knuckles. “You’re stupid. Literally, so stupid. I can’t believe you punched him. I can’t—“

“I can, sweetheart.”

Her breathing hitches.

“I know you said that you didn’t want me in your life, and—“

She interrupts, “forget what I said. You’re stupid, so you need me.”

Sehun chuckles, but then he grows serious. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“Everything. Yelling at you, getting angry uselessly, manhandling you, and probably a million other things that I’ll never be able to make up for. Sweetheart, you—you make me irrational. I lose myself when I’m around you. You piss me off one minute and the next minute, you worry me so damn much. Constantly. I can't handle it. Hell, I can't handle you. But I want to be around. I can’t—you can’t make me stay away from you. I won’t allow it.”

Kyungha snorts, “you should hear what you’re saying right now. Because I can't.” She finishes cleaning his hand, moving her gaze to his face. The corner of his lips is beaten and bruised. His right cheek turning green as well. She winces. He’d looked so gnarly, and she kind of felt bad, but at the same time, he deserved it. “You don’t have to explain. I already know how you feel,” she whispers.

Sehun freezes. “You do?”

“Yeah, mostly confusion and a lot of heart-throbbing,” she tells him bluntly.

He blinks. “Right…”

Kyungha finishes quickly and places a thin strip of bandaids on his knuckles. Then, she put medication on his lips. He hisses, which makes her laugh. “I knew you were going to punch him. I didn’t stop you on purpose.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, I wanted to see you get punched too.”

Sehun snorts, “enjoyed the show?”

Kyungha blows hot air onto his lips, making him jerk backward and hit his head against the metal railing. “Like I said, stupid.”

He slightly sulks, rubbing his head. “You’re so mean, sweetheart.”

She ignores that and begins to clean up. “When does your shift end?”

Sehun is dazed for a beat as he thinks. “What time is it?”

Kyungha finds her phone. “Two,” she responds, waving her screen at him.

“Right now.”

She grows silent, and only the sound of trash wrinkling in her palm is heard.

“Are you going home? Do you want me to take you?”

She shakes her head. “No, I’m fine.” His expression falls momentarily, but he blinks it away. Again, hiding his emotions. Kyungha was determined to change that. “Move over,” she insists. He tilts his head but obliges with hesitation.

Kyungha plops down beside him. He’s still sitting, slouched over to fit his frame. “What are you doing?”

“I’m sleeping.”

Sehun positions his body beside her, lying on his side. They’re breathing each other’s air. Kyungha shivers, feeling his breath on . He pulls the cover over them and proceeds to offer his arm, which she lays on. Then, he’s spooning her, his big hand rubbing her back in gentle .

“I missed you,” She whispers, not planning for him to hear her inner thoughts.

He tightens his hold around her. “I’m sorry.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” she shares truthfully.

“I’m here now.” He pauses, the side of her face. “I’ll be here from now on. I promise.” Kyungha doesn’t know if she should trust him. The word promise had always been just a word to her. She’d assumed that people threw it around like it was nothing, but her heart had clenched from his words. She’d hope he wasn’t lying because if he was, she didn’t know what she’d do with herself.

She had a feeling that if she had entrusted him only for the latter to step all over her again, she would be devastated. Absolutely broken. Unfixable. At least, that was one thing she could admit. And it was the one thing she was going to gamble.

Kyungha realizes she’d forgotten to get her sleeping pills. But with her nose pressed against his neck and the thrum of his steady pulse in her ears, she was going to be just fine.