“If I had known that telling the truth would make her go away, I would have done it sooner,” Sua didn’t say it to anyone as she was just voicing her thoughts. Jiu hadn’t visited her for 3 days. It was safe to say that she had accomplished her goal.

Even though it was the better choice it didn’t help to know that her heart missed that stubborn goof immensely. Time passed slowly as Sua hoped that her heart slowly dies in waiting for Jiu to come back. It should have been accustomed to the loss of Jiu already but somehow… it still hasn’t recovered.

Knock Knock Sua looked towards the door to see who her unexpected visitor might be. The visitor was Dami who had brought over some food.

“Come in,” Sua said as Dami entered the room, placed the food on the table, and sat down in the chair nearest to Sua.

“You know work isn’t the same without you around,” Dami started as she crossed her arms making Sua raise one of her eyebrows. “And I told you to get some rest,” Dami pointed out as Sua knew that this was going to happen.

“I’m not entirely at fault,” Sua weakly defended herself. “I cannot control what I dream and you know that as much as I do, that the nightmares are hard to shake off once you wake up,” Sua backed up her statement with somewhat of a sound reason.

“You are still at fault for not going to see a doctor about your insomnia. It also doesn’t help that you work ungodly hours with me at the bar.” Dami countered as Sua only huffed at her answer.

“What can I say? I love working at ungodly hours because you get the extra tips,” Sua teased hoping to regain some control over herself. Dami stood up and flicked her on the forehead before sitting back in her seat. Sua held her forehead knowing that it was going to turn red soon.

“If you wanted the extra tips you could have found a better job,” Dami responded, making Sua frown at her words. “What’s going on with you?” Dami asked and Sua pondered if she should tell a lie or the truth.

“I could list off a thousand reasons but none of them will be sufficient enough to answer your question,” Sua responded knowing that she wasn’t giving Dami a conclusive answer. “So, I’ll just answer with this,” Sua continued. “Personal reasons,” Sua could see Dami’s brow twitch in possible irritation and her forehead tingled thinking it was going to be hit again.

“Do those thousand reasons have to deal with the girl who has been standing outside your room when I arrived here,” Dami stated as Sua went silent for a minute?

“Dammit, I thought she left by now,” Sua cursed under her breath as Dami somehow caught her words.

“Oh?” Sua stiffened knowing that Dami had heard her. “So, it does have something to do with her,” Dami smirked as Sua cursed in her head knowing that she didn’t get Jiu to get away from her. “Keeping silent isn’t going to make the problem go away,” Sua grimaced at her words but let out a sigh.

“Me not keeping that silence is what made her stand out there in the first place,” Sua answered as she probably knows that Jiu is still out there.

“You want me to go get her?” Sua shook her head at the question. There wasn’t anything to talk about so silence would take up most of the visiting hours anyways. “Poor girl going to wait out there until you let her in,” Dami pitied, which made Sua only sigh.

“I didn’t kick her out. It’s her choice to knock on that door and enter this room.” Sua nonchalantly said but her body felt so empty knowing that Jiu was so hesitant in seeing her. Dami only sighed at Sua’s reaction to the information.

“She cares about you so why don’t you just let her in?” Dami suggested as she watched Sua frown as her mind was twisting and turning its gears. Sua’s mouth opened to answer but closed it with a shake of her head.

“I have made my choice and it’s up to her on how she is going to decide. She told me that she wanted to have a decision and so she will get it. If she wants to confront me all she has to do is open that door and if she chooses to not pry further into the issue she can leave.” Sua replied hoping that Dami would just drop the issue already.

“Well, if you put it that way then I can’t do anything else other than to tell you that the boss told me to give you a message. You are on leave until you are as healthy as a normal person.” Sua snorted and rolled her eyes as she plotted on how she could deceive her boss into thinking she is healthy. “Oh, and before you do anything the boss also said that I have to give consent to letting you back into work seeing as I am the only one who probably knows you best.” Dami continued making Sua click her tongue which gave her a small smile before going back to her poker face.

“And here I thought I found a job that doesn't care about their employees' well-being,” Sua whispered to herself, not knowing that Dami had better hearing than others. Dami frowned at Sua’s statement and opened to reply.

“Why do you care so little about your life?” Dami asked as she had seen Sua wreck herself throughout their days together as co-workers. Each time the schedules would come up, not once did she see Sua’s name vacant. So, she signed up on the same days she worked. Silently observing her and making small talk. There weren’t many people who would visit her during her shift and yet there were many people who would flirt with her. Though none of them have been able to take Sua’s fancy which made her even more questionable.

“Punishment,” Sua responded but didn’t elaborate. Dami narrowed her eyes at her wondering if she glared at her enough, she might get an answer from Sua. After several minutes of silence, Sua opened , and as if something decided to play the coincidence card the door opened revealing a tired Jiu. Sua looked away from her while Dami had an amused look that flashed across her face before it went back to neutral.

“Hey,” Jiu said shyly as she didn’t know if she should have gone inside the room or not. Her decision and confidence to talk to Sua were burning away faster than a sheet of paper catching on fire.

Dami looked at the girl then back at Sua who had yet to acknowledge the new visitor in the room. She heaved a sigh knowing that her day would be a long one. “Hello,” Dami replied to Jiu as she tried to gauge if the girl should be left alone with Sua. She didn’t know her well enough and somehow there was something that they both needed to address even further without her there. “I’m Dami, Sua’s…” Dami stopped to think about what she could call herself just so she can see the nature of the relationship the mysterious girl had with her. “Partner,” Dami vaguely said as the word could be interpreted in many ways.

She watched as the girl’s face ran through an intrepid amount of emotions. Dami looked over at Sua who was glaring at her and she knew there was indeed a story that needs to be told to her. It was entertaining to know that her co-worker didn’t lead such a miserable life.

Jiu could only gaze at Dami who made it seem like she could see straight into her soul as if it was a superpower of hers. She was utterly speechless to know that Sua’s partner was someone who could calmly stand there and exude enough confidence with little words. The word partner didn’t leave a good impression in her mind and for some reason, she didn’t like knowing that she still didn’t know Sua as well as this Dami.

“I-I’m Jiu,” Jiu muttered out knowing that it would be rude of her to not respond to the introductions. She watched Dami smirk and slowly flashed her teeth in the process as if she found everything entertaining to watch. Jiu shivered at such a thought then looked at Sua who was still glaring at Dami.

“Perfect,” Dami turned to Jiu who was still glancing between the two women. “We’ll be seeing each other often then.” She continued as she was going to be keeping an eye on Sua for a period until she knew that all would be well. Sua only sighed at their interaction fearing that something bad might happen.

“Dami,” Sua warned hoping that she would get the message but seeing Dami still smirking at Jiu meant that it was all in vain. She could only sigh as her head became a little lightheaded. She tore her glare away from Dami and looked at Jiu who wasn’t so well from the last time they met. “Jiu… Dami is one of my partners to tend the bar at the venue during my work shift. She is nothing more than a co-worker and Dami this is one of our frequent customers from the venue who is merely repaying the favor for sending her home,” She gave a light explanation before there were going to be any misunderstandings that might pop up down the line.

“Repaying the favor, you say,” Dami repeated Sua’s words like she didn’t believe her. “It seems a little extreme to pay a favor to someone who is practically a stranger don’t you think?” Dami looked at Jiu who was nervously pulling her skin on her hand.

“Not everyone is going to say thanks to those who help them. Some are going to take different paths and actions for that stranger sometimes. It just so happens that Jiu here just wanted to make sure I am safe as I had done days ago.” Sua explained to Dami even though she didn’t want to go into deeper detail about what happened. If she did, she might get a one-way ticket to an asylum… A mental hospital might not be so bad. Sua thought to herself since what she told Jiu sounded something a mental person would say.

Dami hummed to Sua’s response not buying the entire thing as it still seemed weird the lengths Jiu would make to repay just a simple gesture. “You know those types of people are usually the ones that are delusional, or their thinking isn’t normal,” Dami didn’t hesitate to voice her opinion making the atmosphere of the room even tenser.

“Then I guess I’m one of those people too,” Sua immediately retorted to Jiu’s defense. Even if they are strangers in this life doesn’t mean she would take anyone talking bad about her. “Given the current situation I’m more deranged in enabling her actions without any rejections,” She continued to make sure Jiu wasn’t seen in a bad light.

“You’re different though,” Dami fired back even though she didn’t have the faintest clue of who Sua is. They had a relationship that wasn’t as complicated as most. They don’t dive too deeply into each other’s personal lives and that’s what made it simple. They worked and vented about the customers as neither of them ever thought to cross the lines into being friends. “Anyways, are you going to continue standing there or are you going to grab a seat,” Dami faced Jiu knowing that she changed the topic as she didn’t have the right to judge Sua with little information about her. Jiu took a seat on the other side of Sua’s bed and she nervously fidgeted in her seat.

“So, Jiu, what did you come to visit here for?” Sua questioned as she never thought that Jiu would willingly stay by her side after she told her everything.

“Uhm,” Jiu nervously started as she kept glancing at Dami not knowing if she knew all about Sua. Dami sensing the hesitation of the broaching topic decided it was time for her to leave the two alone. Dami stood up and excused herself out of the room. Jiu watched the door close before solidifying her resolve to bring the topic up once more. “About last time,” She started while glancing at Sua. “I thought about what you said and still nothing you said is hitting me. I want to believe you but,”

Jiu didn’t have to say it and Sua didn’t cling onto the hope that she might remember like she had. Sua was ready to live a life without her regardless if she remembered their time together or not.

“I know,” Was her response to her unfinished sentence. “I never asked you to believe me. You wanted to know, and I gave it to you so what happens next wasn’t because of me. It’s because of something else that I don’t think I can give you.” Sua concluded as it was the only logical answer to why she was there. Jiu didn’t look at Sua in the eye fearing what her expression might be like.

“I feel like I’m losing my mind ever since I woke up and met you for the first time. The feeling like I should stay by your side hasn’t faded after all this time and then there are all those letters you have written to me. They felt foreign and yet nostalgic, but I can’t explain why.” Jiu had to finish her words knowing that someone had to hear them. She couldn’t tell Yoohyeon because she would be judged plus they also broke up so that would be even weirder. The only person who might understand was Sua even though she was the one who put her in this predicament in the first place.

“Then forget about it,” Jiu heard her suggestion and whipped her head to look at Sua. All she saw was sadness etched all over her face. Before Jiu could say anything Sua cut her off. “Take everything about me and lock it away. Shove it in the corner of your mind and never revisit it. Pretend that we never met and go on with your life.” Her eyes stung from her suggestion, but she had to say it. She had seen the wreck she made just by confessing her dirty secret to Jiu.

All those unread letters have been seen by their recipient and stuck to her as if they were shackles. Chaining her to a life that wasn’t hers, forcing her to live on the uneasy emotions that came with it. Sua had thought that writing down everything that had haunted her would ease the pain but all it did was cause Jiu grief. If forgetting this ever happened would make her life easier then so be it.

“But what about you, Sua?” Jiu asked her, “Clearly you haven’t forgotten about it and yet here you are telling me to do that.” Sua only shook her head.

“You don’t have the memories and the emotions that come along with it. All you have is the story and this urge that is unexplainable. I’m too far gone to take my own advice. Just closing my eyes makes me see the other you. Day after wretched day the memories collide with each other fighting to see who the clear victor is and if one wins then comes the train wreck of emotions. The emotions are so overbearing that I still have a hard time dealing with them. Your laugh, your smile, your dad jokes, your breathing, your skin pulling habit, your eyes, your pout, just everything reminds me to the point that I don’t think I know how to have a life without it.” Sua answered with a crooked smile as a tear slipped out of her eye.

“How can you be so sure that I can have a life without you, Sua?” Jiu couldn’t leave her alone after all those times Sua tried to push her away. She didn’t listen to Sua then and for certain, she wasn’t going to listen to her. Sure, what she said was unbelievable but not once did Jiu feel that the entire thing was a lie.

Sua wiped the tear that fell from her face as she thought about how she was going to respond to Jiu. “Because I’m the one in the hospital bed and not you,” She stated the obvious.

“I could be the one who ends up in that bed next though,” Jiu countered as she rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, you’ll land yourself in the hospital alright for dumb decisions,” Sua growled out without thinking about her words. She was just tired and frustrated at how all her efforts to keep Jiu safe backfired. “You asked me how I am so sure that you can live without me. It's easy. You don’t even remember me and as much as I hoped you don’t ever gain them back it just tells me that your love wasn’t forever and intense like mine are.” Jiu only shook her head.

“Don’t compare me to your Jiu. I’m a different person okay? How are you so sure that you are going to hurt me again? I made my decisions despite you telling me anything. You didn’t force me to be who I was and yet you are always comparing me to her. Sure, we may have the same name, face, and personality but we are in the present. Can’t you accept that I want to just be with you regardless of what you have done?” Jiu pleaded to Sua who only gazed at her in defeat.

“I don’t want to replace her with you,” Sua admitted.

“I know,” Jiu reached out and held Sua’s hand.

“If I were to date you, I don’t want you to feel like you’re a rebound,” Sua emphasized to Jiu if they were to date in the future.

“I know,”

“My love is intense,” Sua listed as she was still trying to scare the girl away.

“I knew that the moment I read your letters,” Jiu moved her fingers to interlock them with Sua’s.

“We are supposed to be nothing more than strangers,” Sua pulled her hand back a little.

“We’re past that point already,” Jiu proudly held onto the hand and waved it in front of Sua.

“I wrecked your relationship,”

“You merely sped up the process to the inevitable.” Jiu reasoned with her as she stood up from her seat just to sit on the bed to be closer to her.

“I work ungodly hours at a bar,”

“And I’ll wait for your shift to end just so I can walk you home safely,” Sua was running out of excuses and reasons.

“Oh god, please don’t tell me you guys are going to kiss here,” Dami ruined the moment as she felt like the talk was taking too long. Jiu pulled away from Sua with a heavy blush rushing to her face.

“Please, I don’t kiss people before I date them,” Sua replied to Dami. “Besides, I and Jiu aren’t dating at all. She just got out of a serious relationship.” Sua coughed as she revealed too much about her to Dami.

“Mhmm,” Dami assessed the two with judging eyes. “But I am right about me seeing Jiu more often,” Jiu nervously pinched the back of her hand until Sua pulled one of them away and held it. Dami took notice of the action but didn’t comment on it. Not dating at all huh. Dami thought to herself as she didn’t mind watching this odd pair in front of her make some progress to wherever they were heading. “Now all you need to do is get back to healthy status so I can get my partner back,”

“Yeah yeah,” Sua waved dismissively.

Months later...

Sua stretched in the locker room just before she picked up her stuff to go home. It wasn’t a hectic night thankfully, but the slow days are the ones that made her wish she was let out early.

“You locking up tonight?” Dami asked Sua who grabbed her coat to put on.

“Yeah, also… would you quit telling your fangirls that I’m your partner. I’ve been getting heat from them almost every time I work with you.” Sua complained to Dami as lately she’s been getting warnings and snobby remarks when she made drinks for the majority of the girls.

“It’s the only way I can do my job fast enough to serve all the customers when it's busy times,” Dami answered back like she had done so ever since she cleared Sua to come back to work.

“You do realize I can always switch shifts with Handong right since I have nothing else to do,” Sua suggested which earned her a glare from Dami but she wasn’t one to back down.

“Don’t you have a girlfriend to go on a date with?” Dami smugly replied.

“Nope, don’t have a girlfriend. I’ve been single my entire life,” Sua confidently shot back. “Like I said I have nothing else to do so switching shifts is no big deal on my end.”

“You’ll lose your extra tips,”

“I’ve lost those the moment you said partner to the customers.” Sua waved dismissively as she closed her locker. “Anyways as much as I like chatting with you, Dami, but get out of this venue so I can lock up early. Boss doesn’t like overtime hours.” Dami grabbed her things and left the building and bidding goodbye to Sua.

When Sua finished locking up the venue she began walking back home like usual. The familiar streets were still the same as always until a familiar voice called out.

“We’re not dating?” Sua spun around to see Jiu looking at her with dejected eyes.

“Yeah, we aren’t dating,” Sua answered without any hesitation and watched Jiu sulk even further.

“Why aren’t we dating?” Jiu pouted as she heard from Dami that Sua full-on denied that they weren’t dating. It made her sad to hear that in Sua’s eyes they weren’t dating.

“Because neither of us asked the other one to be their romantic partner,” Sua answered nonchalantly.

“But I did… didn’t I?” Jiu responded to Sua, but she wasn’t confident in her answer.

“Nope, you just ask if I wanted to hang at places you suggest at the time. All we have been doing is hanging out so at best our relationship is friendship.” Sua pointed out to Jiu as they started walking back to Sua’s apartment. On the way there, Jiu was slowly moving closer to Sua and reaching out to hold her hand. When she got her pinky to touch Sua’s pinky she felt content until Sua pulled her hand away to push her hair behind her ear. Jiu frowned until Sua brought her hand back down to hold Jiu’s hand much more firmly than earlier.

“You sure we aren’t dating?” Jiu smiled at Sua’s actions.

“Definitely,” Sua confirmed once more and Jiu started pouting.

“Why not?” She had to ask knowing what she could do to have them date.

“Because you never asked,” Sua answered, and before Jiu could say the question Sua answered once more. “No, ask me properly when I’m not dead tired from work,” As Sua led Jiu up the stairs to her apartment. “Wait? Did you think we were dating already?” Sua wondered as her mind finally caught up to her.

“Uh,” Was all Jiu said before running away from Sua, so she doesn’t embarrass herself any further than she already had. Sua could only shake her head at Jiu’s antics knowing full well she got more ammunition to tease the older girl with. She chuckled to herself as she remembered the first time she was asked out by the other Jiu.

“I want to be remembered fondly by someone as special as you,” Jiu stated nervously to Sua who gave her a confusing look as she was about to grab her bubble tea order.

“Uh-huh,” Sua slowly responded not knowing where this was going.

“And I don’t know if the feeling is mutual but can you give me your time to become that special person by agreeing to be my girlfriend,” Jiu declared as her face turned red. Sua grabbed her bubble tea in one hand and with the other Jiu’s hand before leaving the shop. Sua dragged Jiu to the car they carpooled together.

“You really know how to plan things out don’t you?” Sua teased, making Jiu even more nervous than before.

“I thought I should give it a shot to confess to you,” Jiu replied as she felt like she should dig herself into a hole right at this moment.

“Haah you picked the worst place to confess but okay,” Sua answered back giving it a thought or two.

“Okay?” Jiu repeated as she was confused as to what she meant by it.

“Okay, I’ll be your girlfriend,” She replied to a now joyful Jiu whose smile was infectious enough for her to smile along.

Sua shook her head at the fond memory as she opened the apartment door. “Now, I wonder how Jiu is going to confess this time?”