I can hear your laughter even if it’s across the room. That smile which brightens up my day no matter how many criticisms ran my way. Those eyes that hide when you are truly enjoying the moment. Oh, how I wish you don’t ever lose that smile. That innocent smile that makes whatever happens okay. I want to protect you till you die of natural causes.

Sua jumped when the locker slammed and quickly looked at its source. Dami had her eyes furrowed and she could sense that she wasn’t in a pleasant mood.

“Everything okay?” Sua asked Dami as she didn’t want to work with a moody Dami as it might turn to something bigger later.

“Yeah,” Dami huffed as Sua waited if she was going to continue. “Just the girls hitting on me like I’m a piece of eye candy,” Dami explained as Sua nodded.

“But you are a piece of eye candy be grateful cause they earn us extra tips,” Sua teased trying to ease Dami's stress.

“They only see me for appearances not my personality.” Dami waved it off as Sua could only roll her eyes.

“This is a venue where people hook up cause of lust, desire, and appearances.” Sua stressed it out as the venue had dim lights to encourage people to drink, music to drown out a lot of people's conversations and security to make sure they don’t run into a lot of legal problems.

“Doesn’t help that some of them wait till I finish my shift like stalkers.” Sua nodded as she had a similar experience with a certain bright ex-lover. Is she my ex-lover since we dated in our past life? But we never dated in this life so that will make things confusing. Do I want to say deceased one but… that’s also complicated? What about my past lover? Sounds good to me. Sua debated in her head for a split second.

“Well, you can always change shifts with someone. I hear Handong wants some Saturday shifts to go see her parents back in Wuhan.” Sua offered a solution but she got a shake of the head in response.

“I like working with you. Makes things easier as some of the girls look your way and I can get a breather.” Dami explained.

“Nice to know I’m your shield for your fans,” Sua grinned as she closed her locker. “You locking up, or am I?”

“I will this time. You go on ahead since you need more rest than I do.” Dami said as she fished out her keys. “Don’t lie to me because I can see those dark circles you racoon.” She continued but Sua didn’t take any offense to the comment.

“Alright, I’ll go home and get some sleep,” Sua surrendered as she grabbed her jacket and walked out the back door. She felt the night air nip at her body warmth even though she had her jacket on. A semi-dense cloud emerged from her lips showing how cold it was as it slowly evaporated into the air.

“Finally, you left the venue. I was starting to think that you were going to sleep in there,” Sua heard and she jumped from the sudden voice. She wasn’t expecting Jiu to be waiting for her at 3 in the morning again. She thought she had made it clear to her past lover that she wasn’t safe for her.

“Why are you here?” Sua responded as her heart was not calming down anytime soon.

“Making sure you get home safely,” Sua looked at Jiu who had that exact same smile she was reminiscing about earlier. Damn you mind and your constant need to remind me of Jiu. Sua cursed in her mind but didn’t vocalize it.

“I can get home just fine before our encounter.” Sua explained hoping her words were harsh to push Jiu away. Sua began walking towards her home while Jiu caught up to her.

“Awe, but someone has to protect you,” I’ll always protect you Sua and you’ll do the same for me right? Sua’s mind replayed back to when her past life where Jiu shyly said those words with her eyes had a small fear as they were going to enter a haunted house at the amusement park. Always and forever. Was Sua’s response even though she gets scared easily, but she didn’t protect Jiu to the very end. She had broken that promise and it was all her fault.

“I can take care of myself,” Sua brushed it off as she tried not looking at Jiu’s expression knowing it’s probably one of hurt.

“But you’re so small,” Was Jiu’s response and Sua’s eyebrow twitched as she was once again teased about her height.

“Ya! I’m not that short,” Sua looked at Jiu who had a goofy smile plastered on her face.

“Yes, you are. I’m looking down on you,” Jiu teased Sua as a smile was slowly gracing itself on Sua’s lips.

“You may be physically looking down on me but-” Sua stopped herself from saying I still top in the relationship. Sua clenched her jaw as she thought why she was about to say that. I’m getting too close to Jiu. I need to put some distance between us. Sua began to speed up her pace to get home quickly but Jiu easily matched it. Sometimes I wish she would remember me but I’m not bringing my hopes up for this life. I’m only here to keep Jiu safe. That is what I promised myself and I’ll see it through this time. Sua affirmed herself as she was caught by the elbow making her stop. She glanced at who touched her knowing that they might get a beatdown as no one should be roaming the streets at 3 in the morning. The hand’s owner was Jiu so all thoughts of laying her hands-on Jiu in a violent way went out the window.

“But?” Jiu tilted her head in confusion, and it was something Sua would for back in their past life. Why does she always get to be this cute? Mimicking animals as she pleases to soften my resolve, but I can’t. Not this time.

“But you’ll be in for a surprise when you see me knock the daylights out of someone,” Sua answered knowing that’s as close as the truth it can get.

“Somehow I don’t doubt it,” Jiu confirmed as she checked Sua out before nodding in agreement. The approval Jiu gave made Sua’s heart pick up and her cheeks became warm.

“You’re a flirt you know that,” Sua coughed trying to hide her embarrassment not looking at Jiu.

“I know,” Jiu grinned at Sua’s response. “If I keep flirting with you. Do you think I can get your name?” Jiu pressed while Sua only shook her head.

“I don’t give out my name for safety purposes, but I will give you my last name.” Sua compromised with a matching grin on her face. Jiu just huffed and grumbled under her breath.

“Don’t you feel safe with me by your side?” Jiu asked.

“I do. Always and forever.” Sua responded immediately while snapping her head to look at her. Her eyes widened at her answer as she didn’t have time to filter herself. “I um...” Sua dug herself a hole that she didn’t know how to recover from. “So, my last name is Kim,” She tried to divert the conversation. This is awkward. Sua rubbed the back of her neck nervously while biting the bottom of her lip.

“Well, my last name is Kim too, so I guess we have something in common, Miss Kim,” Jiu didn’t comment on her earlier response which she appreciated.

“I guess we do, Miss Kim,” Sua began walking back to her apartment with Jiu walking right beside her. “It’s 3 in the morning and you are walking a stranger home. What would your girlfriend think of this?” Sua asked as she was curious how she would react to this entire situation. She watched Jiu shrug before responding.

“She doesn’t know what I am doing because it’s 3 in the morning. Normal people would be in bed by now.” Jiu answered nonchalantly as if it was such an obvious answer.

“Well, I guess I’m not normal considering I’m a night owl and have been for the past 3 years.” Sua proudly stated knowing that she was not like anyone else. She knew she was different the moment she was in high school. It was when she remembered her past life as one of her classmates confessed to her. She didn’t like him at all but complied with his request of having a kiss to get over her. When she kissed him and watched him walk away until something hit her when she was thinking when she would find the right one. She began having a rush of memories filled with her and Jiu. It wasn’t a deja vu, but it was nostalgic to have which later then turned into pain as she remembered Jiu’s passing.

Oh, how the pain still remains even if so, many years have passed. She will never live down the guilt of how she was too proud to apologize to Jiu immediately. How she failed to keep her promises of making her happy, protecting her, being there when she needs it and to be better.

She was constantly jealous of any potential (all) threats that has 2 legs and were labeled as human. She would always be teasing Jiu to no end with her quirks or words or dad jokes. She would try to be there for Jiu, but her words weren’t enough to stop the insecurities that weighed on her shoulders. She needed more but Sua didn’t know how to deliver. She would always be touching her in public where homoual PDA was very much frowned upon, but she does it anyways. She didn’t know that Jiu felt differently as she felt like she was being bullied in the public eye.

The entire nature of Sua was a bully that brings misfortune and pain onto others. That is what she herself concluded as she brought Jiu to be so unhappy in their last life. She’ll be damned to do it again in this life.

“Do you even get proper rest with all these late hours?” Jiu asked while Sua only smiled as a response. She wondered herself if she had any proper sleep ever since she remembered about their past life. She only smiled to reassure Jiu that way she knows she is safe. “Well, I’m losing sleep,” Jiu grumbled which made Sua’s smile drop.

“Why?” Was her only response as she hoped it wasn’t her fault? Jiu stopped walking, making Sua halt her movements as well.

“I don’t know why but ever since you said you walk home from work; I have this need to make sure you get home safely.” Jiu scratched her head with a shy smile as Sua’s mind and heart were ringing alarms but not for the same reasons.

One (her heart) was rejoicing that she can hope to regain their love once more with a little bit of pursuing. As for the other (mind) was telling her to get out of Jiu’s life before it takes a turn for the worst. Sua was in an internal debate on whether she should run away.

“I’ve walked home by myself at this hour before so it’s no big deal,” Sua tried to calmly say her words but she couldn’t contain her excitement. A smile was weirdly placed as she tried to stay neutral and she hid it with a hand over . “You’ll see me again at the venue when you decide to come again with your girlfriend. That way you’ll know that I’m safe,” Sua provided an alternative to hopefully ease Jiu’s mind but only got a shake of the head.

“I don’t like this option at all, Miss Kim. I’d rather walk you home and then go back to mine.” Jiu said as Sua only sighed knowing that she was as stubborn as a mule.

“What happens when you are with your girlfriend then when I’m working. She’ll want to be with you when I’m off shift at the end of the night,” Sua watched Jiu’s eyebrow frown as she really just wanted Jiu to have a life without her playing any factors in her decisions. “Look, Miss Kim, I appreciate your concern-” Sua started but was quickly interrupted by Jiu.

“I’ll figure it out when it happens,” Jiu grabbed Sua by the shoulders for some reason. “So, please don’t try and pretend we’re strangers. You know that as much as I do,” Sua stiffened at her sentence hoping that Jiu doesn’t remember her. Sua didn’t say anything and began walking to her apartment with her lips pressed to a thin line. “Hey!” Sua heard but she shook her head and kept on walking. “Miss Kim,” Was called right next to her ear as her back became warm. Her heart began throbbing as she felt arms holding her like she was going to never see her again. She felt as if everything was going to be okay in that moment, but she shouldn’t be in this position.

“Miss Kim, please let go. You’ll never know whose eyes are going to be watching and whose mouths are flapping as well as the ears that are listening. The world is really small despite the billions of people living on it. If you love your girlfriend you should let go of me,” Sua explained as she wasn’t going to be the one to ruin their relationship.

She felt the arms loosen and lose contact with her body which was immediately missed. Sua knew that there would be no them in this life. She blew a breath and continued walking back to her apartment as she heard footsteps walking with her.

When she reached the apartment door, she glanced at the figure who was following her and found a very tired Jiu. She blew another sigh as she glanced at Jiu who was watching her intently. She couldn’t just let Jiu ruin her sleep because of her and who knows how long it took Jiu to be walking home. I swore to protect her not the other way around. I have no choice but to be firm with her to stop walking me home even if it’s the only time I get to be with her.

“Come in,” Sua said as she fished out her keys to unlock her door. Jiu had a shocked look on her face then it morphed into confusion. “You’re not the only one who has this feeling of making sure you’re safe,” Sua explained as she opened her door. “So, are you going to come in or am I going to have to walk you home and have this cycle repeat itself until one of us gives up?” Sua gave the options to Jiu and watched her slowly walk into the inviting door.

“Sorry for the intrusion,” She watched Jiu smile but say it softly as it made her chest feel fuzzy. This one will be the death of me again. Sua thought as she entered the apartment and locked the door. She smiled softly as Jiu was looking all over her apartment which was nostalgic as it happened in their past life where Jiu first came to her place.

“You’re going to sleep here until the sun starts shining and people are awake before going home.” Sua laid out the rules as she took off her jacket and placed it on the table.

“Nice place you have here,” Jiu started some small talk, but she noticed something. “You don’t have many pictures up.” Sua merely shrugged as she entered the bedroom to change out of her clothes. She came out with a brown baggy plaid dress shirt and white short shorts. “So, where am I going to sleep?” Jiu asked as Sua smirked as the blush on her face appeared quickly when she saw Sua’s attire.

“In my room,” Sua didn’t hesitate in answering as she had a feeling that Jiu would wait for her to sleep before slipping out. “I’m not taking any chances so don’t give me those eyes,” Sua turned away to go grab the pillows and blankets. Sua came out and set the items onto the couch.

“Where are you going to sleep?” Jiu asked cautiously as she didn’t like how this was playing out.

“On the couch, duh,” Sua stated the obvious as her eyebrows turned into a frown. “Why? Where did you think I was going to say?” She placed the pillows and blankets on the couch then crossed her arms.

“I thought…” Jiu didn't finish her sentence as Sua sighed loudly making her stop.

“This is only one time, Miss Kim. After this, you got to stop taking me home. It’ll lead to the wrong ideas. To me and your girlfriend.” Sua tried to harden her voice but her heart was making this so difficult. It didn’t want to part with Jiu, but this is her best chance at a happier life.

“You make it sound like you are catching feelings for me,” Jiu nervously said while Sua uncrossed her arms to run a hand through her hair making the dress shirt slip off one of her shoulders. Sua heard Jiu gulp but she had to pretend that it didn’t affect her.

“It’s not future tense, Miss Kim,” Sua confessed as she hoped that this information will be the thing that separates them.

“W-what do you mean?” Jiu inquired as she was getting a bad feeling about this.

“I mean that I have feelings for you. So, don’t do all these kind things to me when I know you are unattainable. I don’t want to be a home wrecker or the dirty little secret. So, after you sleep here today go home and be with your girlfriend. Forget that feeling that makes you want to see me safe. It’ll pass because I’m mysterious and possibly I helped you by sleeping in a safe place instead of the dangerous streets. So, give it a couple days or weeks and all we become is strangers once again.” Sua affirmed as she ignored the sting in her eyes. The clawing feeling in her chest that began making her feel numb and the silence knowing that she burned the bridge of anything ever happening between them.

Jiu had open and closed it as she didn’t know what to say. She continued to gaze into Sua’s devoid eyes. Something told her not to listen to Miss Kim’s words. She did have a girlfriend who she loves a lot at home cozy in bed sleeping while she is about to sleep in someone else’s bed. She was about to agree to Miss Kim’s words until she remembered what Miss Kim said the previous times.

“You said that it’ll be safer for the both of us if I didn’t know your name, but your eyes knew that I’ll be protecting you. They always held that trust in me whenever I came up to you after your work shift. Your eyes held something that seems so familiar. There was also the very first time we met and held a conversation. You told me that putting me in danger is the last thing you’ll ever do to me. There is something you are hiding from me; Miss Kim and I want to know it.” Jiu demanded an explanation but Sua only shook her head.

“You need to stay away from me, Miss Kim. I’m no good for you,” That was all Sua said as she placed herself on the couch.

“No good for me how?” Jiu inquired and began pestering her until she finally got an answer.

“I’m toxic. I hurt you back then and I’m damn sure I’m hurting you now. You are sleep-deprived and keeping secrets from your girlfriend. I’ll be damned if I got you killed in this life as well, Jiu,” Sua confessed and froze at what she just said. She looked at a completely bewildered Jiu

“What did you just say? And how do you know my first name?” Jiu responded as Sua bit her lip not knowing how to get herself out of this one.