The light of the sun which shines through the kitchen's window starts the begining of a new day. Kim Taehyung leans his back on a kitchen counter and looks outside the window while sipping his morning hot chocolate. There are many things going through his mind at the moment, and those are the same things that kept him awake the night before.

He is anxious for today's interview.

Why should he? He has done interview so many times and always seems so comfortable in each and every one of them. So why is he nervous for this specific interview? 

That is because he and the members are doing it in America, a country that he can't speak the language of. And the reason why Kim Taehyung is comfortable in most interviews is because even though he cannot speak well, he can still act weird and funny. Koreans love something like that. But for Americans, he does not even know what they love.

He takes another sip of his hot chocolate and let out a huge shigh, 'This is going to be a ty day,' he thought.

One of the member, Jung Hoseok a.k.a J-hope has woken up. He walks to the kitchen just to find one of his dongsaengs (younger brothers) leans over one of the counters looking depressed and anxious.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asks. "You look kind of handsome even with that depressed face." he laughs.

"Nothing hyung, I'm just wondering what I should do in today's interview." 

"Well you don't have to worry much about it, Namjoon can speak English, he'll handle it." Hope says as he takes a cup and pour the hot water in to make an instant coffee. 

"I know, but, I feel like I have to do something. It's scary to know you're in someone else's country and you know nothing about it, not the language, not the people, not the history, and somehow you have to please them and make them happy. Don't you feel scared? Afraid? Terrified? Anxious?" 

"It's like you're going on a war, unarmed," Taehyung says as he put down his cup of hot chocolate on the dining table and walked away. 

J-hope is completely stunned and speechless. They have been together for quite long and yet this is the first time he found out about Taehyung's worries. Actually, this is the first time Taehyung has ever openly talked about what bothers him.  

***

BTS members are now gathered in the living room and preparing to leave in twenty minutes, the bus that is taking them to the radio station is arriving in twenty minutes. Kim Taehyung tries his best to stay happy, possitive and calm. He hates panicking because it will make him even more panic, more anxious and less confident. He has this thought if he is in another country, he needs to look confident, no matter what happens.

So he starts playing with Jimin and Jungkook. It is a silly game of cham cham cham. The winner will buy tonight's snack. 

The hope of the group, J-hope is observing the scene. Seeing that Kim Taehyung can play happily, he thought that Taehyung has finally calmed down a little bit. 

J hope smiles at the sounds of the younger boys' laughter and it is caught by Kim Namjoon who is also observing the members.

"They're cute huh," Namjoon nudges Hoseok's side as he says.

"Yeah, but that's not actually the reason why I watched over them. I am actually watching over Kim Taehyung becaused I'm quite worried," Hope says and let out a sigh.

"What do you mean, he's acting like our usual Taehyung, nothing to worry about."

"No, it's just he told me he's quite nervous for today's interview." 

Namjoon's eyes widden after hearing that and he laughs, because to him it sounds a bit ridiculous, "Nervous? Are you talking about the same Kim Taehyung I am talking about?" 

"Of course Namjoon-ah, I was shocked too you know. He was just there leaning over a kitchen counter and told me about how we were in a different country and we should be afraid because we know nothing about it. He was talking about something in the line of, going in a war unarmed."

Namjoon looks at Taehyung and studies him. Taehyung looks completely normal, like how he has always been. Quirky, silly, and just a ball of happiness. He does not look nervous or anxious at all. It is difficult for Namjoon to accept that Taehyung is actually wrecking his own nerves for this interview. 

"He really looks quite okay hobi-ah," says Namjoon as he furrowed his own eyebrows in worry.

Min Yoongi, who has been listening in to Namjoon and Hope's conversation, is deep in his thoughts. He is a person who looks cold outside but actually cares a lot in the inside. He somehow knows that Taehyung loves to dive into his own thoughts and get drown in it. He occasionally sees him biting his own nails out of frustration just to suddenly pause, and go back to smiling and laughing as if he is just trying to laugh his problem off. 

Min Yoongi used to calm himself down thinking that he was just being dramatic, Taehyung is just being Taehyung, living in his own fantasy land. 

But now that he has listened to what J hope has been saying about Taehyung, he is starting thinking that maybe, just maybe, Taehyung was really having bad thoughts in his head all these time and he hid it from the rest of the members. 

"Well, at least he's not nervous now, so there's no need to worry," says Yoongi, startling both Jhope and Namjoon who did not know he was listening. 

"Yeah, you're right hyung."

***

"It's really great having you guys here this morning, how are you all feeling today?" asks the interviewer. Her name is Julian, she seems very nice, and looks very nice too. Taehyung feels completely at ease but still overly allert, making sure that he is not going to say or do something that is unacceptable. 

"We're doing really great , it's also such an honor to be here," says Namjoon as he is the only one who can speak fluent English. 

"Now that you've realesed a new album and are going to have a tour, what do you want to achieve through this tour and what should the fans or armies look forward to?" 

"This album, love yourself, is actually a reminder for all of us, in order to start loving others we should learn to love ourselves first. I guess it is a great message that we would like to spread to armies all over the world. We hope that by the end of the tour and through this album, music and songs, armies would learn the true meaning of loving others by loving oneself. We hope armies would look forward to that," explains Namjoon in a perfect English.

Taehyung does not understand a thing he said, but judging by how excited Julian is, he thinks that it is probably another heart-warming message. A cool type of heart-warming message that he can never pull off because he is way too focus of being silly most of the time. 

"That's so impressing, we really are looking forward to it. This question is actually directed to V. V, you look so handsome today. You are loved by the fans because you're talented, you have a deep voice and most importantly your look. How do you think about your look? Are you satisfied with it, do you think you look handsome. No offense, of course you're handsome, I just need to know how do you look at yourself." 

Namjoon translates all of that for Taehyung and as Taehyung continues to listen, he is becoming more and more anxious. 

'How should I answer this question? If I say I am not handsome, I would appear as if I hate my appearance, and it does not do well with the message of loving oneself that we're supposed to be promoting now. But at the same time, if I say I am handsome, some might take it as a sign of arrogance.' 

Taehyung is trying his hardest not to chew his lips or show any sign of discomfort. First, he smiles, the thing he does best, and then he starts calmly explaning in Korean, short and simple, so it will not be hard for Namjoon to translate. 

"If everyone says I am handsome, maybe I am handsome."

Julian laughs, "yeah, you're right, if everyone thinks you're something then maybe you are something." 

Taehyung does not know what is wrong with that sentence. It is not hostile or insulting in any case. But he is still annoyed by it. Maybe because of the word 'if' or maybe because of the 'maybe'. But he still smiles, it is the thing he does best.  

Jin who sits right next to him notices his hand clenches and unclenches. He subconsciously puts his hand on top of Taehyung's clenches and unclenches fist. Taehyung is startled a bit but immediately calms down. 

Jin finds it weird, because Taehyung looks completely normal but feels completely different at the same time. He looks nervous and confident at the same time, which does not make any sense at all. Jin is now worrying about Taehyung and wants this interview to come to an end, because now he is looking at Taehyung's eyes which do not look like they are looking at anything, and it scares him. 

***

"Taehyung, are you alright?" asks Jin after the long radio interview. All the members are in the bus now on their way back to the apartment they rent during their stay in America. The questions intrigued everyone because why is Jin asking this question out of nowhere, Taehyung looks normal and acts normal, he is even smiling most of the time. During the interview, he was smiling too, nothing is wrong. 

"What are you talking about Jin hyung," asks Taehyung. He is looking outside the window and admiring the stars in the night sky. 

"Well you were a little bit shakky during the interview. I mean, your body was trembling and you were clenching and unclenching your fist," says Jin.

"Haha, don't worry about that hyung. The question to me was a bit weird, I just did not know how to answer that at first," says Taehyung as he laughed it off. 

"Nervous!! The great Kim Taehyung is finally nervous! Usually you did not care about it right? Why are you nervous now," Jungkook says jokingly. He is laughing at the fact or maybe he is happy at the fact that Taehyung is happy. Which confuses Taehyung all along because how does Jungkook not know that he gets worried quite often. 

"You're talking as if I have never got into a panic attack or has never been nervous before, which is really weird because I get nervous quite often and you are always there to calm me down together with Jimin."

"What are you talking about hyung, I have never calmed you down from a panic attack," says Jungkook.

"Yeah Taehyung-ah, since when Jungkook and I calm you down from a panic attack or a nervous streak," Jimin joins in, curious and confuses at the same time. 

"But everytime I feel nervous during a show or before a show I would play with you guys, act silly in front of you guys, don't you ever think it is weird?" Taehyung at this point, is thinking through every moments he has spent thinking that they know or at least have a suspicion, until he finds out that they have never realised it. 

Suddenly everyone is quiet, as though they are thinking together with Taehyung. 

The whole ride is silent until Jimin breaks it with three simple word, 

"I never know."

The words echoes through the silent and pierces the heart of the other six members in that bus. They never trully know, what they thought they have known.