how to read:

regular text is present, bold is song lyrics, italics is past/memories

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This wasn’t supposed to be happening. Why was he breaking the promise they had made? It was breaking his heart into millions of pieces all over again just looking at the name of the sender. Heechul’s hand shakes as he guides the mouse to click on the new email.

There were no words in the email, just a link to some video. What the hell was Youtube and why was Hangeng linking him to it? Maybe a link to some virus? Spam? Some heartfelt letter begging for his forgivness? All of those options seemed extremely unlikely so Heechul just clicks on it without a second thought.

Music starts to play quite loudly, making Heechul flinch and hurry to turn down the volume. It takes only a few seconds for Heechul to realize what this video was.

We’ve agreed that by tomorrow we won’t meet again

Sitting in a shop on the end of the road, alone, I order a cup of yearning

By tomorrow, I’ll only be able to brush shoulders with love

Our smiling faces, before dawn, will become a yellowed picture

Heechul gathered all the pictures of him and Hangeng and set them in a large pile. His eyes narrowed at the two of them smiling happily, or staring up with puppy eyes, even the picture Heechul took of the two of them in the shower. He had locked himself in his room again before anyone could try and convince him to come and eat. The other members living in the dorm eventually gave up and left without him to go eat out.

That was a very good thing.

With a lighter held in one hand, Heechul clicked it on, the flame lighting up the dark room. Heechul lowered the flame onto the pile of pictures, watching in silence as they burned, first turning a dark yellow then slowly turning into ashes.

By my side, loneliness is spreading; my sight is blurred by tears

I leave “I love you” in the bottom of my heart and put it next to my lips

The tears are already falling, his eyes are already red and puffy, and he’s already coming up with excuses for when everyone comes back to the dorm. For a moment Heechul ponders over wether or not he should use the mosqito excuse, but then he remembers how Hangeng had used that excuse multiple times himself and the tears just keep coming.

All the times they had exchanged the simple words “I love you” are echoing in his mind. He forces the thoughts to go back to their place in the bottom of his heart; to go back to the place where he never bothers going.

“I still love you,” Heechul whispers to nobody in particular; the words escaping and the meaning still there.

By tomorrow, you’ll have left my side

By tomorrow, I’ll wish upon a shooting star alone

Like a movie that has reached it’s ending

Whose prophecy has our ending fulfilled?

Promises are broken all over the floor, yesterday can’t be put back together

But I’m still waiting for a miracle to happen

Yet your sillhouette moves farther and farther away

Heechul threw the photo frame down on the ground, the pieces of glass scattering on the carpeted floor. Although he didn’t seem to care about the dangerous stares they were getting, Hangeng certainly did.

“Just because we’re in disguises doesn’t mean you can act so unruly,” Hangeng whispered, scolding his elder.

“We made a promise last night that we wouldn’t have any contact with each other once you left and now you’re giving me a photo frame with a picture of us so I can remember the good times?” Heechul scoffed. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

With those words, Heechul his heel and briskly walked off into the sea of people saying their goodbyes to loved ones.

Hangeng couldn’t get his voice to work. He grabbed hold of his carry-on bag, eyes still watching Heechul walk away. It’s only when he can’t see Heechul anymore that Hangeng is able to call out, “WAIT!”

But it’s too late.

Love still remains in my room; my memories are still very fresh

For a split second, I feel as if you are right in front of me

Hangeng can still remember the way Heechul’s lips felt against his; how Heechul was the one who comforted Hangeng when he started to miss his parents and home country; how he’d wrap his arms around Hangeng and rock the two of them back and forth while whispering words that at that time meant nothing. Now those words meant everything to Hangeng - it was the only thing he could still hold on to.

The love he felt for Heechul had never stopped. Not once in these three agonizing months did he ever doubt his feelings.

There were times where Hangeng had dreams of Heechul coming to China, running into his arms and saying he forgave him, but then he would wake up and have to face the cruel reality again.

In this moment he felt as if Heechul was really there, watching him with eyes just waiting to catch the tear that slips down his cheek.

Without you love goes into hibernation; loneliness will occupy every day

I’m standing under the streetlight on the cold and lonely steet

That place where we once embraced is where we once took shelter from the rain together

I’m still reminiscing the time when we loved each other

I’m still waiting for you to return to my side

Tears fall onto my ice-cold pillow

A vibration from under Heechul’s pillow wakes him from his restless sleep. Halfway through the video he had given up watching it, simply shutting off his computer and retreating to his bed. The pillow is cold and a bit wet with tears, reminding him of the dream he had before being awoken. He burrows his hand under his pillow and pulls his phone from under it.

The screen is lit up, displaying an alert for a new text. Heechul lazily unlocks his phone and reads over the text a few times, his sleepy mind not registering what was written. He blinks away the sleepiness and reads the text again.

       
From: Hangeng
 

直到你再次出现

无法承受没有你的每一天

我爱你不会改变，

나는 영원히 당신을 사랑합니다.

 

I press the pause button of time until you appear once again.

I can’t bear each day without you.

I love you; that will not change.

I will love you forever.        

 

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a/n: submitted this to superjuniorpicfics on tumblr and admin R was really nice omfg so i put it up on here

kthxbai