It was stupid when you gave up everything you valued to sacrifice it for someone, but still it was not good enough. It would never be good enough because I had never been for Seungheon. Not that he was a bad boyfriend. He was the best one I ever had which was why it hurt like hell when one morning came after a night we spent together. He said he was leaving Korea--leaving me--after he was accepted the job he had been applying for in a country far away from Seoul.

I hated . I was disgusted by it, thanks to a part of my past I would never want to look back to. Before Seungheon, I thought about keeping my virtue again until I met someone who made me feel worthy of being loved. I turned down all the guys I dated until I was labeled the "Untouchable Girl" because I never slept with any of them. With two of my best friends being male, none of them could actually hurt me even if they tried to spread rumors about how "bad" I was in bed so they decided to dump me. But when Seungheon asked me if I thought I could keep a long distance relationship, I was desperate to get him to stay. I threw my regained value out the window and shed my clothes.

But then the next morning, I woke up alone in his bed, left with a note telling me he was sorry and that he loved me but he needed to go.

I panicked. He left right after I gave myself wholy to him. I did not even enjoy it because I was thinking about a lot of things other than . Was I that bad? I know I did not have experience but I tried my best, didn't I? Did I convince him to leave instead of stay?

I was supposed to have a tutoring session that morning. It was for two high school students, although they would be paying for just one, because I made a deal with one of them, who had another subject I was teaching, too. That was not in my mind, though. I had to get Seungheon back.

Searching for him at the airport, I answered the call from a friend, who was also another tutor.

"Eonni, where are you?" Lee Jieun asked when I picked up. "You were supposed to meet them at nine thirty. It's ten."

"I'm at the airport."

"Which one?"

"Incheon." I hated crowded places. I had a weird condition that I panic when there were too many faces I did not recognize. The place was huge, teaming with people of all ages, walking from all directions and I was alone. It was getting harder to breathe.

"Are you okay?"

"No, Jieun," I said, panicked. "He's gone. He left. I-I can't tutor anymore, Jieun. Can you go, instead? I'll pay you double."

"I'm already on my way to the study cafe," she replied. "You don't have to worry about paying me. It's fine. Just let me know if you find your boyfriend, okay?"

In the end, I could not find him. I stopped moving and just sat there, hugging my knees until Zico came and picked me up, all the while cursing Seungheon on the ride back in his father's car.

"Why do you keep falling for these guys, Hye?" he asked after cursing Seungheon's next generation. "And why didn't you tell me he was planning to leave?"

"I didn't know," I admitted. Zico had been there since my first boyfriend dumped me back in middle school, and he was there yet again at my most recent one. "He only told me about it yesterday."

He gave me a quick run over and turned his eyes back on the road. He was good at noticing details and I shrank back on the carseat, realizing I was still wearing the same clothes I did yesterday.

"Were you with him the whole night?" It was a question, but he sounded like he already knew the an