Sooyeon has been a zombie for the past weeks. She started counting the days till graduation because frankly, she just wanted to get that diploma and get this over with. Sadly, our poor Sooyeon hasn’t discovered forgiveness yet and she can’t find the strength to cope up with depression and move on.

After her graduation party, she locked herself in her room. She double-checked the small remembrances- a farewell letter and few photo albums- and laid them out on her bed. She knows for sure that her death will bring devastation to her parents, she’s the only daughter they have. For sure, she will leave them crying and sad, but she needs to this for herself. She wasn’t a bad daughter, she was just heartbroken.

She removed the gauge from her wrist. The wound looks healed but it’s just on the outside. The cut’s too deep to be healed and big enough for her entire being to be marred for life. She searched for the blade inside her diary in her drawer. It’s well-kept and hidden with the fear of her parents finding out her plan. She sat in one corner, closed her eyes and slid the blade on the faint scar. She felt light again, free from a heavy feeling that’s pulling her down, just like when she was on that Ferris wheel. The only difference is that she opened her eyes to vast garden of the same purple flower that she had in hand the last time she was in the hospital.

She smiled and reached out for one.

“Why are you here again?” Sooyeon jumped at the sudden voice behind her. Her eyes met with a pair of dark brown orbs filled with anger and something else she can’t put a name to.

“What’s wrong with me being here?”

“You should go back.” She took a step forward and Sooyeon took a step back.

“No. Not until you tell me where I am.” She held up her chin defiantly.

The taller one rolled her eyes. “Isn’t it clear for you? You know what you did to yourself. You’re smart. You should know where you are.”

She stared at the other with agape. “I-is this…h-heaven?”

The other one just shrugged and walked towards the shed. She picked a dirty white scroll on one of the benches and opened. “Just as I thought. You’re not in the list.”

“What list?” Sooyeon skipped over and tried to take a look of the scroll.

“Death list.” She said flatly. Sooyeon flinched, the way she said ‘death’ was too bitter that she could almost taste it on her tongue. “You should go back.”

“You said that already.”

“Then do it.”

Sooyeon shot the other one a glare. “I don’t want to. Please, just let me be. I don’t want to go back. I want to stay here.”

The other’s jaw clenched. “You’re not going to stay here.”

“Why? This is heaven, isn’t it? The dead goes here.”

“Not all. In case you forgot. There’s also a so-called ‘hell’ and ‘purgatory’. You killed yourself. That is not a good thing.” She stood against a stone pillar and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m telling you, hell is nowhere near what textbooks describe, it’s worse. Purgatory isn’t that pretty too.”

Sooyeon shivered at the thought. I should’ve planned this further. “Fine, just this once.”

“You’re saying it like it’s a casual thing.”

Sooyeon made a face because she knows it’s true. In the future, it might be a casual thing. She’ll give up soon and let me stay. But…where am I gonna go?

“I’m calling you a taxi to hell if you don’t disappear in ten seconds.” The taller one said, with her feet tapping on the grass.

“Yah! That’s not even enough to get me to the gate!” Sooyeon retorted with a pout.

“One…” The other started counting while tending to her nail beds that appeared more appealing than Sooyeon’s puckered lips. “Two…”

Sooyeon dashed to the gate. She stopped for a few seconds to catch her breath then closed her eyes and held on to her necklace. She took a deep breath….then opened her eyes. Her forehead creased as she stayed rooted on the spot.

“I’m still counting…” Sooyeon turned around to see the other girl walking towards her.

“It’s not working!”

“You’re not concentrating. Stop thinking about the excuses you’re going to tell your parents once you’re back.”

Sooyeon snarled because once again, she was right. Was this person a mind reader or something? She tried again…but failed. She looked at the other girl again. The other’s eyes are blank. She tried again…still failed.

“Forget it. I think you’re staying here…”

Ssooyeon’s face lit up and her lips formed into a smile. “…for now.” Sooyeon frowned again. What did I expect?

“Are you saying that you’re going to hand me over to the…to the d-demons??”

“I’ll think about it.” The taller turned around and looked at the scroll in her hand. “Follow me…”

Sooyeon nodded and ran to her side. “Where are we going?”

“To my house…”

---

The ‘house’ that she was talking about was a cabin like those hobbit houses we see in the lord of the rings. Sooyeon thought that this girl won’t fit (she’s freaking tall for her own good with a body too skinny, you’d think she only eats one meal a day) but miraculously, she did.

“Stay here.” The other girl said.

“Where are you going?” Sooyeon asked as she looked over cupboards and shelves.

“I’m going to finish my work.” With that she’s off somewhere Sooyeon has no idea of.

She sighed as she plopped down on the couch. “There’s no aircoooooooooon~” She wiped a few beads of sweat from her forehead. She wasn’t the type to exercise so she was really exhausted with the walk they made. They passed through several gardens and hobbit houses. All was normal, it’s just like she’s in the province…just like back home.

Sooyeon woke up to a smell of fresh flowers. She didn’t even realize that she fell asleep. She pushed herself off of the couch and looked around and there at coffee table was a bowl with a small amount of water and a few purple flowers floating in it.

She leaned in and smelled the fragrance.

“That’s Wisteria.”

Sooyeon almost screamed in surprise. She looked over the kitchen and the girl was casually leaning on the door frame.
Seriously, this girl is a creeper. “I know. You already told me.”

“You seem so fascinated by it.”

“It’s pretty.” She dipped her hand in the bowl and grabbed one. “What’s your name?”

“I don’t think you need to know.” She took a seat on the armchair opposite Sooyeon.

“This flower says otherwise.”

The other one just scoffed. “You’re talking to plants now?”

“I meant what this flower symbolizes. Wisteria symbolizes welcoming a new person into your life. It’s no coincidence that we always meet at that garden. I assume that you’re the new person in my life.”

“you read too much romance novels.”

Sooyeon’s eyes turned wide. “Romance?? I-I’m n-not a les-”

“I know. I’m not either. I’m just saying that your thinking a little too like those romance novelists.”

Sooyeon cleared . “Anyway, I’m Jung Sooyeon.” She held out her right hand.

The other just stared at her hand like it’s like some kind of specimen. “You know…I already know who you are. I keep on saying that you’re not on the list. That means that I know your name right? Aigoo. You’re not as smart as I thought you are.”

Sooyeon bit her lip to stop herself from saying anything harsh and waited for the other to introduce herself. After what seemed like hours she spoke, “I’m Summer Choi.” Is she American? Doesn’t seem like it. She shook Sooyeon’s hand for a brief moment that it seemed like they didn’t touch at all but the warmth of Summer’s hand lingered on her skin and Sooyeon doubts if it will be gone overnight

“Are you an angel?” Sooyeon asked over dinner. Summer looked up from her soup and shook her head. “Are you human?”

“I was a human. I’m dead, see?” Sooyeon didn’t miss that bitter tone again.

“Why are you in charge here? Aren’t angels supposed to be the one in your place?”

“I volunteered to do it. I’ve been the longest one in here so far.” Summer turned her attention back to her food.

“The longest? What is this? A prison cell?”

“Not really. Fine. I’ll explain everything after dinner.” And with that Sooyeon became preoccupied with her food, eager to finish everything and have her questions answered.

---

“Sooooo…”

Summer covered her ears. “God, your voice is so high you sound like a dolphin.”

Sooyeon pouted and leaned back on the couch. She saw a corner of Summer’s lips twitch upward into a smirk. Did she find me cute? She brushed the idea off and looked away. “Start explaining things please…”

“Okay…you already know that this is heaven of some sort. I’m the keeper of this magnificent place. What else do you want to know?”

“You said you’re the longest here…”

“Ah…ever heard of reincarnation?” Sooyeon nodded in reply. Some don’t like to forget and to be forgotten and reincarnation is their only hope. Reincarnation is like a process of never-ending existence. Souls transfer along with some memories so there’s a small feeling of familiarity with people we meet. It’s like subtly forming connections with everyone else. “It’s true. You already saw this list.” Summer held out the dirty white scroll.

“Death list.” Sooyeon corrected.

“This is where newly dead people’s names appear. I welcome them, tour them around and give them shelter. Then another list comes.” She held out a blue scroll. “These are the names of the people who are about to live a new life.”

“They go into babies’ bodies?”

“Not exactly. Sometimes, souls reincarnate to bodies in any stage. For example, there’s this kid who drowned. When he reincarnated, he was leading 300 men to a battle.”

“On the spot???”

“Yes. Here’s more, once you do reincarnate, you’ll be immersed into your character immediately. You’ll be surprised at first of all the things that you know and of all the emotions that you’re feeling at the moment. ”

“B-but…how…”

“With the number of souls ending up with Luci, we’ve been kind of short with the souls that reincarnate. Luckily, the boss managed to find a way to keep life going.”

“So the others are like robots?”

Summer shrugged. “I don’t know.” Then Summer grinned. “Did you know that there are several other dimensions present in the universe?”

Sooyeon just gave her a what-in-the-world-are-you-talking-about look. “Does Narnia, Wonderland, Neverland ring a bell?”

Sooyeon’s jaw dropped. “You mean all those childhood stories are true?”

“Possibly. The writers must’ve been reincarnated in those dimensions once. Stored memories combined with talent equals epicness.”

Sooyeon raised a brow at the last word. When did this girl die? Just last month? She talks and sounds too young. “So I might be reincarnated to a princess?”

“Nah. I think your name’s in Lucifer’s list.” Sooyeon threw a pillow at the other. Summer easily dodged it and stuck out her tongue.

“When did you die?”

“Why do you ask?”

“You said you were the longest here. I doubt if people acted and talked like that during your time.” Jessica grabbed another pillow and hugged it.

“I got it from the newly dead. I’ve got to keep up with the times.” Summer rested her head on one armrest and let her feet dangle on the other one.

“You’re so teen-like.”

“Oh really? I take that as a compliment given that I died 12 years ago.”

Sooyeon battle it out with herself whether to ask something or not but curiosity got the better of her. “How did you die?”

With that one question, Summer’s expression turned odd. She swallowed and fixed herself. “It’s time to sleep. I need to get up early tomorrow. I’ll be sleeping on that couch. You sleep on the bed.”

“But-”

“You are my guest. Now go and changed into something more comfortable. My closet is yours to rummage.”

When morning came, Sooyeon found a heartfelt breakfast on the kitchen table but not a Summer in sight. She looked around the house, but Summer’s nowhere to be found. She sat at the table ate her breakfast and sipped on her milk tea. She was not even half-way through her food when she decided to take a walk outside.

She ended up on top of a hill. She sat on a bench with an arch hovering above it. The arch was adorned with buttercups. It’s really beautiful just like the shade with wisterias.

“I didn’t know you’re an early bird.” Sooyeon clutched her chest because of surprise.

“Can you please stop jumping on me? I swear you’re going to give me a heart attack.”

Summer sat down beside her. “Aw c’mon. It’s not as if you’re going to die anyway.”

“So…am I really dead?”

Summer shook her head.

“Then why am I still here?”

“Beats me.” Summer picked one flower and twirled it between her fingers. The Sooyeon sighed loudly- her voice disturbing a few birds on the nearby water fountain.

“What are you thinking of?” Summer asked.

“I just miss a lot of people…”Sooyeon said, still not opening her eyes.

“like who?” Summer continued to twirl the flower between her long slender fingers.

“like my friends…”

“That’s expected.” Summer leaned to other side of the arch.

Sooyeon opened an eye to Summer. “What do you mean?”

“Summer held out the flower. Buttercups symbolize childhood friendships.”

“Oh…” Jessica picked a buttercup too. “Is it always like this? Seems like flowers are starting to control me.” She chuckled lightly.

“Flowers have their own language that connects with us.”

Sooyeon nodded. She can get used to this…this peace but there’s something missing.

“Why did you try to kill yourself?” The question was out of the blue that it left Sooyeon paralyzed for a bit.

“Uhm…depression.”

“You know you’re stronger than that. You shouldn’t let a douche like Joon ruin your life. You’re really lucky to be alive. There are worst case scenarios than yours, Sooyeon.” Summer still has her eyes closed.

“What do you know about pain and suffering?” Sooyeon got a bit mad. Summer may be the keeper of heaven but she didn’t have any business in her life.

“I guess you’re wondering why my name’s Summer. My dad’s a Korean-American, my mom’s pure Korean. My dad was in Seoul for a vacation when he met my mom. It was the typical summer romance, but my mom got pregnant and my dad needed to go back to the states. He said he was too young to be a dad. Well, my was too young to be a mom too but she didn’t turn her back on me.” Summer didn’t notice that she was actually clenching her fists too tight.

“When my grandfather found out, she kicked her out and disowned her. My mom never thought of aborting me. I thanked big boss for that. Luckily, her friends helped her until she gave birth to me. After that she worked her off all day and night. She died when I was in middle school, I had to watch out for myself from then on. I had to quit school so that I can work. I needed to eat. I got into all sorts of jobs. When I reached 19, my poor life ended.” Summer looked at Sooyeon with eyes so dull that it makes the latter want to hug her forever. “Does my story count as painful and depressing?”

“I-I’m sorry…”

Summer gave a faint smile. “It’s okay.” She stood up and started to walk away but turned around a few steps after. “Hey…want to come with me?”

“Where?”

“I’m going to start sending off souls to their new bodies.”

“Are we going to call for a taxi for them?” Sooyeon said as she skipped to the taller’s side.

“It depends…we may have to shrink them and send them off on a hat if they’re going to wonderland.”

Sooyeon’s second day in heaven, she still hasn’t discovered anything new. She was strolling around again (while Summer’s doing her job), when she met Stephanie. She wore her hair long and jet black. Her curls are in contrast to her milky white skin. She has features that are too beautiful to the human eye. She’s practically sparkling with her eyes and smile. It didn’t surprise Sooyeon that Stephanie’s an angel.

“So you’re Sooyeon…” She said as she walked around me, her wings are brushing against the other’s arms so softly. “I’m Stephanie- Summer’s friend.”

“Really? She doesn’t look like she’s sociable.” Stephanie just chuckled and dragged me around for a tour.

“She’s just…hard to talk to sometimes.”

“Hmm…” Sooyeon nodded in response.

“But you’re really lucky you know…” Stephanie started following a butterfly.

“What do you mean?” Sooyeon stopped and noticed that they’re in a sunflower garden now.

“Summer keeps on reviving you. She keeps on erasing your name in her death scroll. She doesn’t want you to die. If the keeper treats you that special, you could be an immortal!” She giggled as she bent down and smelled a sunflower.

“wh-what? S-she can do that?”

“Of course she can! It just takes one erasure from her pencil and ta-daa! You’re respawned!” Sooyeon eyed the angel. (At the back of her mind, she’s trying to grasp whether gaining new information is good for Stephanie because clearly, she’s speaking warcraft here)

“Are you telling me the truth?” She asked.

“Of course. Angels can’t, don’t and won’t lie.”

“Hey you two! What are you two doing there?” The two girls both turned to Summer who’s now approaching them with a pink teddy bear in hand.

Stephanie waved to her enthusiastically. Upon seeing this, Sooyeon raised both of her arms and waved too. Summer gave the two confused looks. “What is up with you two?”

“Nothing.” Stephanie answered and clung to Summer’s arm. “What’s that?”

“It’s a cuddle bear that Doojoon brought from the crime scene.”

“crime scene?” Sooyeon asked.

“The poor shop owner got burned down inside the store. When Doojon came to fetch the man, he got some souvenirs.”

“Doojon’s an angel of death.” Stephanie inquired.

“Oh…” Sooyeon sent daggers to Summer as she handed the teddy bear to Stephanie. She cleared once. But the two are too engrossed in some conversation about the bears pink fur. She coughed again but to no avail. She tried again, much louder this time and the two looked at her.

“Are you sick?” Summer reached out to Sooyeon’s forehead when Stephanie stopped her.

“No one gets sick in heaven Summer.” Stephanie butted in.

“Oh yeah. I forgot about that.”

“Just like how you forgot to tell me about you interfering with my death?” Sooyeon can’t help it anymore. “You have no right to do that Summer! It’s my life! You have nothing to do with it! I decided to take my own life, so what? What does it have to do with you?” She shoved a finger to the taller one’s chest. “You just want to make me suffer with my life huh? You don’t want me to move on and be happy. I didn’t know someone like you can stay here in heaven.”

Summer gritted her teeth and caught Sooyeon’s wrist. “I didn’t know you were so pessimistic. A guy betrayed you and you want to end your life. Is that as simple as that? You’re selfish. You don’t even value the years that your parents invested in you. You think that leaving a note and some pictures can cover up your loss? You must be kidding me. You’re just thinking of your easy way out. Don’t be a brat.” Summer harshly released the other’s arm and stormed away.

Stephanie peeked from behind a bush. “Is it over now? whew. I’ve never seen her get that mad before. She always smiles when I’m around her.” Stephanie blinked innocently at the direction where Summer trailed off. While Sooyeon bit her tongue to stop herself from making a snarky comment. Stephanie then turned to her. “Why are you mad at her? She just wanted to save you again.”

“Again? You only mean the last time I was here right?”

Stephanie shook her head. “She was also talking about the time when you were seven.”

Sooyeon froze as she tried to piece everything that the angel said.

“Didn’t Summer tell you? She was the one who saved you from falling from that Ferris wheel.”