That night I had a dream. I was in a large empty concrete-like room, something you'd see in a horror film; the dim lighting flickering, barely able to manage. Then I notice someone with me. It was my mother. 

I ran up to her and throw my arms around her bursting into tears. "Shhh, my lovely Olivia," she whispered. She used to always call me that. She hugs me back, soothing my hair, trying to calm me down. I miss her hugs. I miss her so much. She was my best friend. I finally loosen my grip so I could look at her again: her freckled face, her fiery red hair, her big brown eyes that sparkled with joy— it wasn't her. What I saw was lifeless; a faceless puppet. I back away from the figure, terrified, into a corner. 

Mom was gone, and again I was alone.

There was no door, no windows, no anything. I was trapped. I felt like I was suffocating. I started to panic, calling out for her. Begging for a response; that she would come back. But there was nothing. I was alone— everywhere I look; just darkness.

I woke up with a sudden outburst, trembling and covered in a cold sweat. My eyes were swollen, filled with tears. 

"Hey, what's going on?" 

Hoseok sat up groggily; his hair, extra fluffy, stood in every direction. I must have woken him up. "S-sorry, just a— just a d-dream." I laugh humorlessly, forcing a smile. "I'm fine. G-go back to sleep, Hobi."

"Liar." He wipes away my tears. "You are not fine." Of course he would know. Hoseok could always see right through me. 

"What happened?" He gently asks, his voice full of concern, but I wasn't listening; overcome by a panic attack— all I knew was that she's gone. I kept mumbling to myself, rocking and rubbing my arms trying to calm myself down. It sounded like I was speaking gibberish— too low and soft to understand. 

I felt Hoseok's arms surround me slowly, gently, as if he was afraid I might break. "Shhhh, it's okay," he coos in a soft voice. "It's okay. It was only a dream. You're safe." My vision was blurred with tears, a few sobs escape my lips.  

"Look at me," he curls his finger, hooking it under my trembling chin forcing me to meet his eyes. His gaze completely captures me. "I'm right here," he whispers soothingly. "I will always be here. Remember that, okay?" All I can do is stare. "Always." 

I manage a nod. 

He gave me a warm smile and kisses my forehead then pulls me back into his arms, holding me against his chest. 

Hoseok knew what my dream was about, I didn't even have to say anything. He never met my mother, for she died the summer before he came to America, but he knew how important she was to me and how sensitive I am when I talk about her. The room was silent, the only thing you could hear were my soft sobs. Soon he began to hum Young Forever, my favorite BTS song. My fingers curl into a fist, tightly grabbing the soft fabric of his shirt. He really is my rock. 

Finally, I was able to calm down. We laid back down in bed and talk for the rest of the night about everything: old memories and crazy adventures we had together back at home in the USA, while he cracked lame jokes trying to cheer me up. After a while it got quiet.  

I wonder if he fell asleep?

I look up to see him, just barely, through the slight glow from the moonlight that escaped the windows. Hoseok was staring right at me. His eyes were so gentle with a certain sparkle that always lifted my spirits. My face heats up, and I felt very self-conscious, but I can't seem to look away. He pushes a hair out of my face, gently brushing his knuckles against my cheek. We lay there for a while staring at each other. Ever so slowly he began to lean in.  

I can't move. I can't breathe; I'm completely paralyzed. So many things are going through my head. I mean, for all I know, I'm just hallucinating, or this is a dream...

Yeah, that's it. It's just a dream.

Well, that's great. I have an emotional breakdown, and my brain decides to screw with me. I snap out of my trance and squeeze my eyes shut. Once I open them, I'll find myself back in the room; Hoseok will be fast asleep with my laptop next to us still playing Netflix. 

It's another dream. Just a dream—

Something touches my lips, soft and warm. It stays there for a few seconds and disappears. I slowly open my eyes. I see Hoseok. He's only inches away, I can feel the heat of his breath against my skin. The light of the moon shines through the window and onto his face, giving off a beautiful glow. He looks at me with a soft smile. 

Still in a slight daze, I'm able to smile in return. "Did he just kiss me?" My mind went blank. "No. Its all in your head. Stop it."

My heart was pounding as if it could burst out of my chest, as he starts to lean in again. My head is spinning like crazy. Thinking about how long I've waited for this— back at our friendship. "You are my best friend, my rock, my lifeline. I am in love with you, Jung Hoseok." 

I quickly close my eyes and open them again, just to make sure. He was still there. He was real: his eyes, his nose, his lips. It was all real. 

I wasn't dreaming. 

Our lips lightly graze, and I stay still for a moment. He adds more pressure against my mouth and, hesitantly, I follow as our lips start to move with each other. Hoseok brought his hands to my face, holding me as if I was something delicate and fragile. 

The kiss was very sweet and teasing just like him. When we pull away, there was a surprised, unsure expression on his face, like he couldn't believe what just happened. His eyes suddenly become serious, I was worried that maybe I did something wrong, but he gave me a sweet smile assuring me that it was okay. And says something that I never thought I'd ever hear. 

"I love you."

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~ This is a real nightmare I've had before 

~ No matter how many times I've written this chapter I end up tearing :'(