Jennie's POV

"Please Jen. I need to be alone for a moment. I'll be back before the night ends. I promise"

I looked at her and she doesn't look sober at all. She's drunk and I cannot let her do something that she might regret after.

I know Lisa told me to stay coz she'll be back before the night ends but I can't help it. I am too worried about her. She's already drunk I'm not feeling good about her running away like this. I just want to make sure that nothing bad will going to happen to her so I followed her secretly. Gladly, she didn't bring her car coz it will be hard for me to follow her if she does. 

Lisa walks in no direction and I just continued following her. We're now out of our village and she's now heading to Sewoon market that was recently renovated. This space has a rooftop garden, as well as an, overlook to see out over Jongmyo Shrine. 

I watched every step she makes and she still hasn't noticed my presence. I stopped when she stops and I stared at her. I made sure I kept my distance so she won't notice me. 

She looks very sad. She looking at the sky with tears running like rivers in her eyes. Then my heart almost breaks when I heard her shout.

"I hate this! I hate my life! It hurts! Why do I have to be this miserable? Why can't I move on? Why? Why?" she said in between her sobs.

I felt a pang in my chest when I heard that. It's clear that she's hurting, she's hurting because of Rosie. She's still in love with her I think. I felt the tears escape my eyes and I put my hands on my mouth to prevent myself from sobbing. I can't breathe coz it hurts to hear the truth. I looked at Lisa while she's crying when I noticed that she's starting to climb the rooftop railings. 

Then she said, "Mommy get me please, please" 

I panicked. I know now what she's thinking and this isn't good. She's drunk and she might die if she falls from there. 

"LISA!" I shouted to get her attention before she can successfully climb on the railings. 

She turned her head and our eyes met. She looks shocked to see me here. 

"Jennie, what are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here. Didn't I told you I need time, ALONE?" she said emphasizing the word alone. 

Her voice was husky and I know she's mad coz her eyes were furrowed but I didn't mind her. She may look very intimidating to others but she can never use that side of her with me. I knew her all my life and I know that she is just portraying to be intimidating and cold outside just to hide how soft she is inside. 

"For what? For you to get yourself killed? Why Lisa? why?" I asked. 

I clenched my jaw coz I was really mad of what she's trying to do.

"It's better for me to die than to be miserable like this" 

"Are you doing this because of Rosie? Is this because of her huh? Because of her again?" 

I walked towards her and pushed her shoulders. I was fuming because she's acting this way.

"I just don't want to live anymore Jen. It hurts, it hurts so much!"

Both of us are now crying and my tears are non stop but I didn't bother to wipe my tears away. I am hurt seeing her like this. She's still crying over a girl who hurt her many years ago and it kills me. 

"It's better for me to die coz I don't have anyone left with me anymore. I'm all alone, I'm miserable, I'm sad, and I'm hurt, Jen!" she shouted while gripping on the cloth right above her heart.

I sarcastically shooked my head and my brows furrowed with what I have heard from her. 

"Alone? You think you're alone, seriously? And what do you call me? I'm here for you all along, Lis! I'm always beside you, I never leave your side yet you still feel alone? You want to die because of that in' reason? You're unbelievable! How about me Lis? Have you ever think about me? or what am I gonna feel if you die? Tell me!" I shouted punching her chest to release all the frustrations I have inside me. 

I can no longer breathe because I am hurting. She hugged me to stop me from hitting her chest. She hugged me tighter and she let me cry on her chest but I pulled away. 

I looked at her in the eye and said,

"I know this is not the right time for me to say this but Lisa... I like you... and i-it h-hurts me to s-see you like this. I thought I already made you forget about her those past few years that we've been more than best friends but seeing you like this kills me. I thought we're already on the same page but I guess were not. But I still want to ask you this, what am I to you Lis? What is this that we have? What are we?" I asked looking straight into her brown orbs. 

We both fell silent. Our eyes were both swollen due to too much crying and I know I now look like a mess with disheveled hair and ruined makeup but I don't care about my appearance anymore as of this moment. All I want is to hear her answer. I looked at her but she never looked back at me. Her eyes were fixed on the floor and I watched as she's biting her lower lip to avoid herself from sobbing. I waited for her to answer me. I never talked and give her all the time she needs to tell me what she truly feels. A few minutes after and she lifted her head up and she looked straight into my eyes. My heart was pounding so hard to the point that I can almost every beat of it. 

"I'm sorry, Jen. I don't want to hurt you"

And with that I breakdown. Tears flow hard on my cheeks. I knew it! She almost slapped me with the truth and it really hurts! I should've expected this but I made myself believe that she will learn to love me. I thought we're feeling the same way towards each other but I guess I'm wrong. She will never look at me the way she looks at Rosie. I'm so dumb! I am so dumb to let myself fall in love with my best friend.

"I... I am just so broken right now Jen and I don't know what is this that we have, I'm a mess Jen, I can't even think straight now Jen, I'm sorry" 

She took a step towards me but I stepped back. I lifted my hand up to stop her then I shook my head.

"Jen please," she said trying to reach for my arm but I backed away. 

"Please Lisa. This is all my fault. I shouldn't have let myself fall for you in the first place. I'm sorry" I said wiping the tears using the back of my hands. 

"Jen I'm sorry just give me t--"

"No Lisa please" I said shaking my ahead. 

I don't want to hear what she's going to say anymore. The pain is too much for me and I don't know if I can still handle everything that she might say. So, I turn around and run away from her. She keeps on calling my name but I never looked back. The pain is too much and it kills me. 

---

FEW CHAPTERS LEFT