Twenty
Leading Us to This New ChanceAri was nothing like an idiot.
She realized, after Donghae arrived home that afternoon he enrolled Arrow in ballet – and also after a message from Mikyong – that there was some problem with her son that he didn't want to share.
Donghae has always been like that and Ari knew it.
She had seen her son acting like something was stuck in his throat countless times and taking it all on his own. That's exactly how he started the fight Hyukjae when they were still a couple.
- Donghae? – Ari called him after she put a very tired Arrow to bed – Are you fine?
- Yeah?
- Is that a question or an answer?
- I don’t know. – he laughed – Why are you asking if I'm fine?
- Because you've been acting in a very different way since we got back from that trip to the beach. What happened?
Donghae sighed and dried his hands after finishing the dishes. Then he sat on the couch and wondered if he should tell his mother what was really going on – but Eleanor recommended that he open up to her, as she was someone he could trust. And when Ari sat down next to him, the brown-haired man sighed and said:
- Do you remember that I was sick that weekend? – Ari nodded – So… I went to talk to Sunny on Monday to find out if I would have another baby.
Ari was shocked.
- What? What do you mean? You... Were you?
Donghae shook his head.
- It was negative and I felt very relieved.
- If you felt relieved, then why did you continue with Kangin?
- Because I didn't want to break up just for that. One thing is to break up for not liking being in this relationship, another thing is to break up for being relieved that I'm not having another child.
- Although...?
The brown-haired man sighed again.
- Today, when I was with Hyukjae enrolling Arrow in ballet, Kangin called and was very angry that I hadn't told him I was going out with my son's father. It was so weird because I didn't know I needed to tell him every step I take.
Ari sighed and hugged her son, as she knew that was exactly what he needed. And far from pushing her away, Donghae closed his eyes and let his mother caress his hair while she said:
- You don't need to prove anything to anyone, my love. Your life is yours and no one else's.
- I know that, but I don't want that feeling of failure again. It hurts so much to see that I'm a loser.
- But you are not and have never been a loser. – Ari made Donghae look at her – Never say that again. Life isn't always about hits and you shouldn't judge yourself that way. If you don't feel good about this jealousy, then talk to Kangin and don't be afraid to expose what you feel.
Donghae nodded and hugged his mother, taking a deep breath and saying,
- Thanks for the support, mom. I'm so confused by the things that have been going on and I just wanted some peace.
- This is something only you can decide, Hae. I can't decide for you and Arrow can't decide for you either. Some decisions, as much as they hurt, need to be made.
Nodding once more, Donghae let his mother continue to pamper him. He knew something had to be done, but he didn't want to deal with it right now. That feeling of failure was terrible and all Donghae could do was to choose whether to stay on that boat or jump off.
Either way, he knew he would feel like the biggest loser in the world.
...O...
Days later...
Arrow was terribly excited that day.
It was Friday and Hyukjae would pick him up from the daycare so they could spend the weekend together – and with that, finally, he would record a video for his appa channel. Hyukjae wished he had been able to record the video when he said he would do so, but the flow of people into the restaurant was so great that he was barely able to pick up his son on Friday. He stopped by Donghae's house on Saturday and only stayed for a day and a half with Arrow who just didn't get upset because Hyukjae was so much fun.
But the day came and Arrow couldn't stop talking about it.
- Will you bring us the sandwich, Arrow?
- Only if my appa makes lots and lots of sandwiches. – Arrow replied while playing with the play dough – But I'll ask him.
The children chuckled, since they were going to get sandwiches, and continued doing their activities at the daycare. That was the day of the art workshop and all the kids had a lot of fun always getting their uniforms dirty with paint that luckily was water-based.
But then, just before the day at the daycare ended, Arrow heard a question he hadn't even thought to ask yet:
- Why doesn't your appa live in your house with your daddy, Arrow? Gaeul's daddy and appa live in the same house.
Arrow arched an eyebrow and then said:
- I don’t know. Kangin goes to my house, but I don't know why appa and daddy don't live in my house with me.
So Gaeul said:
- You could ask your appa, right? He comes to get you.
And that's how Arrow decided to do it when Hyukjae picked him up from the nursery and placed him in his car seat safely.
- Appa?
- What? Is the belt tight?
- No.
- So what is it?
- Why don't you live with me and daddy?
Hyukjae's eyes widened. Where did that question come from?
- Oh… Why?
- Because Gaeul's daddy and appa live in the same house, but you live in another house faaaaaaar from me and my dad.
At that moment, Hyukjae found himself at a dead end. How was he going to explain to Arrow why he and Donghae didn't live in the same house? The boy wasn't even four years old and already wanted to know something they weren't even prepared to explain.
- So, Arrow... Well, I... – he sighed and the little one asked:
- Don't you like my daddy?
- Of course I do, but...
- Why don't you live with my daddy then? I would be very, very happy.
Hyukjae didn't even know what to say. That was the first time Arrow broached the subject and Donghae wasn't even there to help him in that conversation. However, as he arrived home and saw Shindong and Yesung standing outside the building, Hyukjae breathed a sigh of relief and said:
- Look there who's waiting for us.
Arrow looked and smiled widely when Shindong and Yesung waved and laughed as the little one waved happily. Hyukjae then opened the doors and his friends entered – Yesung sat beside Arrow and Shindong in the passenger seat. Then they went to the garage and Hyukjae left his car there.
- Ready to record video with appa?
- Yea! We're gonna make a sandwich, right?
- Exactly. I even bought the right ingredients because you're going to help me cook. – Hyukjae carried Arrow who hugged his neck and smiled – But first let's change clothes.
Arrow nodded and laughed when Yesung tickled his waist. They entered the elevator and so talked until they reached the floor where Hyukjae lived. By that time Arrow was already taking a nap, so the video would have to wait at least an hour or two – but it was far better to let the boy sleep because everyone knew he would get in
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