By: givemepizza

Pairing: Jaebeom x Youngjae

Rate: T

Summary:

Jaebeom- pen name Defsoul- is a musician whose experience with love has forced him to lose faith in it. Youngjae is a vocal trainer whose dream of meeting his favourite RnB musician Defsoul turns into a nightmare when, upon their first meeting, he learns that the musician behind his beloved love songs and long-time crush doesn’t believe in love. Youngjae is disappointed, but he refuses to accept things as they are, so he embarks on restoring Jaebeom’s faith in love. 

 

---

 

It’s probably a regular Thursday for everyone else but not for Choi Youngjae. He is standing outside a recording studio with his heart is his throat, and nerve wrecked about to meet his favourite musician, his idol and his long time crush, Defsoul. He has already knocked at the door and received a go ahead to enter. Youngjae can’t be sure who muttered a soft ‘come in’ from inside, but it’s safe to assume that it’s Defsoul himself. 

Youngjae feels his palms once more to make sure they are not sweaty because he doesn’t want to start the meeting with such an embarrassing impression. 

Youngjae’s good friend Jinyoung is an actor who is currently filming a wed drama for which Youngjae Defsoul is doing an official soundtrack. It is thanks to Jinyoung and his charm that Youngjae has this opportunity to meet his idol. 

“Don’t be nervous. He is a regular guy. Very nice too.”  Jinyoung said to Youngjae on the phone a few minutes ago when Youngjae called him to ask for tips on how to handle the meeting. 

It might be true that the guy inside the studio waiting to meet Youngjae is nice and chill, but Youngjae can’t stop the thunderous beating of his heart because he spends most of his free time listening to said regular guy’s music and hanging on every single smooth lyric completed with a soothing melody and a deliciously husky voice. 

Youngjae owes Jinyoung big time, but for now he takes one last huge breathe to calm his shaking frame and racing heart. He turns the door knob with his quivering palm, pushes the door open and walks in. 

There is one person inside, a guy sitting working at his desk. The guy looks up and turns towards Youngjae. 

Its Defsoul himself, right there all handsome smile, nice teeth, eyes hiding under long jet black bangs parted down the middle, broad shoulders clad in a t-shirt about two sizes too big, smooth pale skin and charming eye smile. Youngjae has never seen 

Youngjae takes a moment to calm down a bit. 

“Hi. You must be Youngjae.” Def. says and promptly stands up from his chair, extending his hand with a neutral smile.

Youngjae hastily takes the offered hand and nearly crumbles right there and there because oh gosh DefSoul’s handshake is so firm and his palm is so wide. “I am. How are you doing?” he wants to smack himself for sounding as flustered as he feels.

Jaebeom’s kind smile puts Youngjae under the impression that he has caught on to how nervous Youngjae is. That only embarrasses Youngjae more. 

Jaebeom retracts his hand and gestures for Youngjae to take a seat on the black leather couch in on the other end of the small studio space. 

As Jaebeom sits back down, Youngjae lets his eyes wonder to the recording booth, the equipment and chairs in the room. “So this where it all happens?” he mutters absently, not meaning to be heard. 

Jaebeom catches it anyway and replies. “If by all you mean the making of my music then yes.” 

Youngjae nervously scratches the back of his neck, “may I address you by your real name?” he asks meekly 

Jaebeom smiles with his teeth, his eyes forming little crescent moons, and Youngjae stops breathing. “Of course.” Jaebeom replies amusedly. “Calling me Def. would be so weird.” 

“Yeah.” Youngjae mumbles for lack of something better to say. First of all he is still mesmerised by Jaebeom’s smile. 

Jaebeom gives his guest a once over and takes in his stiff posture. Youngjae has on a royal blue sweater vest over a sky blue long sleeved shirt and soft blue fitting denims. Compared to Jaebeom’s own simple T-shirt and worn jeans, Youngjae looks preppy. Jaebeom likes Youngjae’s look just fine, but when coupled with his almost robotic sitting posture Youngjae is in, the atmosphere feels so awkward and uncomfortable.

“Look, I’m an extremely laid back person, so just relax.” He says, hoping to put Youngjae at ease. He earns a huge, blinding grin that almost entirely transforms Youngjae into one of the cutest people Jaebeom has ever seen. 

“Sorry. I’m just flustered about meeting you.” 

“Trust me you are doing just fine. First time I met one of my favourite artists, I couldn’t stop sweating.” Jaebeom shakes his head in horror of the embarrassing memory. “It was one torturously sweaty handshake.” 

Youngjae laughs out loud, the high pitch of his voice booming in the small room. He can feel some of his tension seeping out with the one laugh. 

“How can you live that down?”

“You can’t. My friends still tease me mercilessly about it.” 

“I’m afraid I don’t have any consoling words for you.” 

“I doubt anyone does.”

“on my way here, I was worried about giving you a sweaty handshake.”

“Well I of all people can’t judge after what happened to me.”

Youngjae laughed again, recalling Jaebeom’s short story. 

Jaebeom smiles. “Feel a little better now?” 

Youngjae smiles back with gratitude. It is unexpected and surprising that Jaebeom is nice enough to go the extra mile in trying to help Youngjae relax, but Youngjae happily welcomes the care. He already feels better learning that his idol is being so nice to him. “Lots. Thanks.” 

After the initial slightly awkward pleasantries, they manage to settle into an interesting back and forth about Jaebeom’s composing and writing, a bit about Youngjae’s work as a freelance vocal trainer, what kind of music each of them favours, their work experience in music and even a little bit about what kind of things each of them draw inspiration from. 

Youngjae sits up in his chair and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Do you mind if I get a little personal with the questions?” he asks because so far he feels like they are just scratching a little on the surface of who Defsoul really is as an artist. Youngjae wants to know everything he possibly can, perhaps about the man Im Jaebeom as well. 

“Not at all. Go ahead.” Jaebeom invites

“Your romantic lyrics are so passionate. Do you draw inspiration from past experience in love?”

Jaebeom takes a long, deep breath and momentarily tears his gaze away, considering the question. “Not really.” He shakes his head, looking back at Youngjae 

Youngjae’s eyebrows furrow. “Not at all?” 

“No.”

“I mean your songs speak greatly of your belief in love-”

“I don’t believe in love.” Jaebeom interjects his voice as calm as though he is merely pointing out something simple, as is he hasn’t just dropped a bomb on Youngjae’s life. 

Youngjae stomach drops. “What?” 

“I don’t believe in love.” The way Jaebeom repeats it so casually only makes Youngjae feel worse, and deepens his shock. He feels like a rag has been pulled from under his feet. The crushing disappointment he feels right now makes the rest of the meeting hard for him to get through. 

*******

Youngjae lifts the 5th shot of soju to his lips, but Jinyoung takes it from him. “Enough already.” His tone is reprimanding. 

Youngjae sighs mournfully but doesn’t argue. He is just a little bit more than tipsy and slurring his words as he mutters, “I thought meting Defsoul was a dream come true, but now it has ruined everything.” 

Across the table, Jinyoung and Jackson look at each other then look back at Youngjae. “It’s my fault. I never should have arranged the meeting.” Jinyoung says, feeing bad for Youngjae who is more of a younger brother than a friend by now. Normally he would tease the hell out of Youngjae about something like this, but Youngjae looks genuinely miserable. 

“so this guy doesn’t do love or romance. Some people are like that. It’s no big deal.” Yugyeom says. He is sitting next to Youngjae and has an arm draped over his shoulders. 

“You haven’t listened to his music. Haven’t you ever bought into something and then discovered it’s all a sham?” 

“I have actually.” Yugyeom nods and leans away from Youngjae to take his glass of beer and drink from it. 

“Then you must know how I feel.” 

“Maybe I never should have set up the meeting. Clearly this just ruined your fantasy?” Jinyoung berates himself. 

“I think it’s always best to know the truth.” Jackson argues. “that way you can genuinely like someone.” 

“Speaking of which, do you still like the guy after this?”

“Of course I do. I’m extremely disappointed but my feelings can’t go away just like that.” 

“True.” Jackson nods, “so what are you going to do now?”

Youngjae chews on the question for little while, mostly because his drunken mind id struggling to process it quickly. “I have to talk to him again.”

“What? Why?” Jinyoung asks. 

“I need an explanation. Defsoul didn’t tell me why he doesn’t believe in love. I need to know.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” 

“I don’t know if I’ll feel better after talking to him again, but I’m not at peace right now either. Even though he doesn’t owe me an explanation, I want to try and find out.” 

******

A few days later, Jaebeom is surprised to see Youngjae at his studio at again. “Hi.” There is slight frown between Jaebeom’s eyebrows that suggests he has questions about why Youngjae is back here days after what was obviously supposed to be a one-time meeting. 

“Hi. I know you are surprised to see me here.” Youngjae says. Thankfully they are alone today as well. 

Youngjae seems tense and upset, Jaebeom notes. “Not to offend you or anything, but you look awful. Are you okay?”

“Not really.” Youngjae grumbles, letting on how grumpy he is feeling

Jaebeom is curious about what’s upset Youngjae and weather it has anything to do with him, yet he can’t stop smiling because grouchy Youngjae is the cutest thing he has seen in a long time. “Have a seat.” Jaebeom invites and gestures towards the couch. 

“Thanks.” Youngjae takes the offered seat.

“We have a nice café here. Can I get you something to drink?” 

“Really? Do they serve vanilla or eggnog lattes?” 

“Um….” Jaebeom scratches the back of his neck while considering the question. “I only get espressos from there, so I don’t know what else they have. I can ask.” 

“How do you know it’s a great café when you’ve only had one drink there?” 

Jaebom smiles with his entire face and shakes his head, clueless. “Word of mouth in the building?” 

Youngjae smiles for the first time this morning at how shy and embarrassed Jaebeom looks all of a sudden. Youngjae likes how easy it is to get Jaebeom flustered and how infectious his smile is.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to get me anything.”

“No, I want to.” Jaebeom insists. “I’ll be right back.” He exits the studio before Youngjae can protest. 

*******

About 15 minutes later, Jaebeom comes back with a mocha latte and an apologetic smile. “The barrister is new and this is all she knows how to make. Her supervisor has gone out.” 

“This will do. Thanks.” Youngjae takes the cup gratefully. 

Jaebeom takes a seat on the couch next to Youngjae, careful to maintain some space between them. “So what can I do for you?” 

At first it’s a struggle for Youngjae to admit why he is here, because he is nervous about what Jaebeom will think. Then again Youngjae is already here and Jaebeom is expectantly looking at him straight in the eye, so there is certainly no going back now.

“It’s just…. What you said is really bothering me.” Youngjae quite literally blurts out, surprising Jaebeom who blinks at him with a confused expression on his face. 

“What?”

“Why don’t you believe in love?” 

The confusion on Jaebeom’s face turns into a small, right smile. “Is that why you came all the way here?”

Youngjae doesn’t bother to deny it. “Yes.” 

“Why are you so bothered by what I said?”

Because I’m utterly in love with your song lyrics and half in love with you. duh! Youngjae wishes he could say that, but he says something else. “I know it’s none of my business, but I can’t understand how or why someone who writes such beautiful and soulful love songs can be so negative about love.”

“I’m talented I guess.” Jaebeom replies, tone clipped, like he’d rather not be having this discussion. 

Youngjae refuses to let up. “That could be it, but it just doesn’t seem that way with you.”

“But you don’t even know me.”

“I know your song lyrics.”

“Those are just words, Youngjae.” 

No, no, no, no, Youngjae wants to scream. This isn’t right. “Is it fear? Are you afraid of love? Have you been hurt by love in the past?” 

“No. nothing like that.” Jaebeom waves it off and let’s his gaze shift for a few moments as he hums in thought. “It’s more a lack of patience and interest.”

“Why?” 

“I’ve been in relationships before where I was in love and let’s just say things didn’t work out. Now I no longer have energy for that.” 

“We’ve all had bad experiences in love, but I haven’t given up.”

“Experiences differ though, and as people we are made differently.” 

Youngjae parts his lips ready to speak but nothing comes out as he realises too late that he has run out of fight. “so, what then?”

Jaebeom shrugs. “Nothing. Life as usual.”

“It seems like you work a lot.”

“I love music.” 

“What else keeps you busy?”

“I go out with friends sometimes, when I’m not at home looking after my pets.”

“You have pets?” Youngjae’s interest is piqued.

“5 cats.” Jaebeom says like a proud dad. 

Youngjae laughs. “wow. That’s a lot of kids. I have one dog.” 

“no cats?”

“I’m allergic to cat hair.”

“Really? I have cats because I’m allergic to dog hair.” 

“Huh. What a coincidence.” 

There is a moment when they just stare at each other, smiling. Youngjae feels himself fall a little deeper. 

Jaebeom finally breaks the silence. “Anyway I’m sorry you were disappointed by my viewpoint on love, but that’s that.”

Youngjae sighs. “I feel like it’s such a waste that someone who has such beautiful things to say about love doesn’t even believe in it anymore.” 

“To tell you the truth, sometimes I think about dating, but then all the stress I felt in my past relationships comes to mind and I instantly feel blessed to be single.”

“Not all dating is stressful.” 

“I sincerely doubt that.” 

“I can prove it to you.”

“How?”

“Date me for a little while.” 

“E-excuse me?” Jaebeom stutters. “is… is that a joke?”

“I’m not kidding.” 

“Why do you want to date me?”

“I like you. You seem nice.” 

“I think you’re nice too, but I don’t like you in that way.”

“Do you have a specific type?”

“No. I’m too grown to have an ideal type.”

“Then you don’t find me entirely repulsive?”

“Of course not. It’s just that I can’t imagine us dating. The thought hasn’t even crossed my mind. Ever.”

“That’s great. Get your mind out of the equation. Thinking easily leads to overthinking and that’s what we both need to stop doing.” 

“I’m not overthinking anything, Youngjae.”

“okay then go out with me. Just a few dates. It’s that simple.” 

“I don’t want to date right now.” 

“It’ll be like we are just hanging out. I’m a pretty fun person to be around.” Youngjae puts on his winning smile and it’s so infectious that Jaebeom can’t help getting lured in. 

Youngjae’s entire proposal is so out of the blue and not at all something that Jaebeom wants to get into right now. Yet he is just sitting there unable to utter a firm no. The truth is as repulsed by the idea as he is, a tiny part of him is also curious about the prospect of dating Youngjae and the possibility of experiencing what hassle-free dating is like. 

“Hanging out huh.” He tests the concept. “And if I don’t like it?”

“We are both grown men. You can tell me you’re unhappy.” 

“Then we’ll end things?”

“Hell no. then I’ll try harder.”

Jaebeom laughs at that. “I’m getting the feeling that you’ll be very hard to shake off.”

Youngjae tips his head to the side, giving Jaebeom a sly and playful look. “What? Are you afraid of dating someone who is willing to fight tooth and nail to win your heart?” 

“A little maybe.” Jaebeom runs his fingers through his hair to push the bangs off his face. “You might get hurt if you don’t win my heart. I don’t want that.” 

“It’s bad manners to start something beautiful with such negativity.”

“Did you prepare for this conversation?”

“No. why?”

“I’m just wondering how you seem to have an answer for everything.” 

“I’m smart, quick-witted, charming and cute.” Youngjae boasts with an innocent smile like he doesn’t know what he is doing. “It’s in your best interest to date me. you have nothing to lose.” 

Jaebeom chuckles, truly amused and amazed by Youngjae. He has never met someone so bold, brave and persistent. Jaebeom wonders if Youngjae knows how compelling and attractive he is in a non-conventional way. “Can you really promise me that if I date you there won’t be any mental and emotional turmoil?” 

“Of course I can’t promise that. I’m human.”

“Then why should I give you a chance?”

“Because it’s not fair that I have to suffer for what your exes put you through. I’m not them.” 

Jaebeom takes a deep breath and just stares at Youngjae, considering those words. 

“Besides-” Youngjae goes on. “-I won’t stop bothering you until you agree to go out with me at least once.” He finalises, his tone and facial expression daring Jaebeom to try arguing or bargaining. 

Jaebeom doesn’t bother to argue and bargain. It’s no use when he is already part captivated by Choi Yougjae. 

********

“Oh my God.” Jackson gapes, his big eyes somehow managing to grow wider. 

“I know. I have no idea where that came from.” Youngjae says and collapses onto Jackson’s bed. He came straight here after leaving Jaebeom’s studio. It’s Jackson’s day off from his job as a choreographer for a small entertainment agency that’s on the rise. Youngjae on the other hand, well he should be at work right now, but he couldn’t help rushing here to consult a friend on his entirely random, whimsical, spontaneous and potentially stupid decision to ask Defsoul out on a date. Several dates to be exact. 

Jackson joins Youngjae on the bed, plopping down next to him. “So, what are you going to do now?” 

Youngjae pouts, considering the question and staring at his hyung. “I guess I have to charm the hell out of him. I’m charming, right hyung?”

“You mean he agreed to date you?” Jackson is shocked anew

“I was shocked too, but I think he only agreed to go out with me to prove a point.”

“which is?”

“that there is no such thing as a stress-free relationship.”

“So his conviction is so strong that he is willing to date you and show you he is right?”

“exactly, and intend to prove him wrong.” 

Jackson’s lips slowly stretch into a smirk as he looks knowingly at Youngjae. “Look at you sneaking your way into dating your crush.” 

“I know.” Yougjae yells, suddenly flustered and he buries his face into Jackson’s pillow to scream. “I can’t believe this is happening.” He mutters into the pillow, voiced coming out muffled. Eventually he comes back up when the need to breathe becomes too much.

He cups his hot cheeks and sighs. “I never imagined that I could ever date my own idol. Everything feels so surreal.” 

Jackson fondly ruffles Youngjae’s hair. “I’ve always told you that you can make your dreams come true.”

“That you have.” Youngjae smiles appreciatively and at his hyung. 

“If you need any dating tips or ideas, Jinyoung and I are happy to help.” 

Youngjae’s eyebrows furrow doubtfully. “I don’t know hyung. You and Jinyoung hyung are always bickering and teasing each other. I don’t think that’s the best example of stress-free dating. I will, however, consider consulting you later when I need tips on harmless fighting and make up .” Youngjae chortles and laughingly ducks just in time to evade the pillow Jackson throws at him. 

********

Exactly three days later, Youngjae decides it’s time to make his move. While taking at work, he texts Jaebeom.

Youngjae: Japanese food tonight?

It doesn’t take long for Jaebeom to reply

Jaebeom: I don’t like Japanese food.

Youngjae: I know a nice place that serves delicious fried pecking duck. Is that better?

Jaebeom: I don’t like fried food

Youngjae smiles, shaking his head as he types: you’re very picky I see :D let’s just go and we’ll decide what to eat when we get there.

Jaebeom: fair enough. Where should we meet?

Youngjae: I’ll pick you up<3

Jaebeom doesn’t reply, so Youngjae assumes the conversation is over and resumes work without another thought about it. 

That’s why Youngjae gets stunned when after only heaven know, Jaeebom sends his reply.

Jaebeom: <3

Youngjae nearly squeals and he feels butterflies in his belly at the unexpected response. It keeps him smiling the rest of his work day. 

********

“I have this melody in my head and if I don’t do something about it now, I’ll hate myself later. I promise I won’t be long.” Jaebeom says when Youngjae goes to the studio to pick him up. 

Youngjae nods in understanding and goes to sit on the couch. This is a great opportunity see Jaebeom do what he does best.  

About 30 minutes of watching Jaebeom making music on his laptop, singing softly and bobbing his head to this melody he speaks of, Youngjae refuses to believe that there is no passion there, that Jaebeom doesn’t crave the love he writes about. 

********

Isn’t this great?”

“Yes, but love isn’t all shrimp dates, Youngjae.” Jaebeom chortles

They are at a small but popular sea food restaurant that Jaebeom visits often. They’ve ordered shrimp, rice and vegetables because that’s Jaebeom’s favourite. 

Youngjae pouts. “No, and that’s not all I’m promising. I’ll really be good to you.”

Jaebeom’s heart melts because yes pretend as he may, he is still a sap somewhere deep down. 

“Let me boil your shrimp for you.”

“That’s okay. I can do it myself.”

“It’s more romantic when I do it for you.”

“I’m not looking for romance here though.” 

Exasperated, Youngjae huffs and just reaches across the table to snatch the tong out of Jaebeom’s hand. “I said I’m going to boil your shrimp for you.” 

Stunned to speechlessness and maybe a little frightened too, Jaebeom just nods. Youngjae can be so scary sometimes. 

They have close to no conversation for a while as Youngjae boils cooks the shrimp, save for a few exchanges about what they did during their day. As much as Youngjae wants to get to know Jaebeom a lot better, Jaebeom’s eyes are half closed, his shoulders are hunched and his head is bowed as though it’s such a struggle to straighten or look up through the long bangs covering his eyes. In a word, he looks exhausted. It doesn’t look like the best time to pull him into a lot of conversation. Youngjae should have known considering how Jaebeom basically slurred through their conversation on the way here. 

Well it’s too late to cancel plans now, so the best thing Youngjae can do is make sure Jaebeom does and says as little as possible this evening. They’ll simply fill their stomachs and then head home. It’s having each other’s company that counts. 

Eventually they start eating their food and Jaebeom is surprisingly the one who breaks the silence. 

He has a small smile on his face while chewing as he says, “This actually tastes better because you cooked it.”

Youngjae chuckles, busy spooning a large portion of rice into Jaebeom’s bowl. “Don’t lie for my benefit.”

“I mean it though.”  

Youngjae looks up then and finds Jaebeom smiling at him. “Then thank you.” He pauses for a moment to put some steamed vegetables on his rice. “Do you cook at home?”

“hm.” Jaebeom hums with a nod. “I like cooking actually. Whenever I can, I look up recipes and spoil myself.”

“That’s nice. I rely on cup ramen a lot.”

Jaebeom makes a face. “That sounds terrible. However, I’m not above eating cup ramen. When I’m too tired to cook, I eat cup ramen as well.” 

“So you eat cup ramen a lot too huh.” 

“How do you figure?” 

“You seem very sluggish right now. I can tell you are really tired.” 

Jaebeom doesn’t argue. “I spend a lot of time in the studio even without intending to.” 

“Passion can be pain. Trust me, I know.”  

“Exactly.” Jaebeom points his chopsticks at Youngjae. 

At this point Youngjae is bordering on senselessness, but he finds even Jaebeom chewing and pointing chopsticks at him attractive. “I have foregone sleep for league of legends on many occasions.” 

“You like video games?”

“Yes.” Youngjae beams, ready to get into a discussion about that, but then Jaebeom suddenly goes quiet again. Youngjae is starting to think its Jaebeom’s thing taking weirdly long pauses amidst conversation. Youngjae doesn’t know what to make of it and whether he should ask Jaebeom about what that’s all about. 

“I tried playing overwatch once and at it.” a reply finally comes after what feels like forever. “I’m better at the brick game.”

Youngjae laughs hard at the picture of Jaebeom playing the brick game. “I don’t know what to say without hurting your feelings.” 

“The brick game is thrilling.” Jaebeom defends his favourite game, but at this point he might just be saying this stuff to hear more of Youngjae’s big, loud, infectious laughter. Maybe to sneak a peek at Youngjae’s nice teeth as well. Jaebeom isn’t even a ‘teeth’ kind of guy and he is pretty sure no one on earth is, but here he is appreciating the charm of Youngjae’s smile because of his teeth. 

“You don’t also happen to find thrill in watching the news, do you?” 

“I do actually.” 

Youngjae laughs again and shakes his head, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he focuses on putting some shrimp in a large leaf of lettuce. He adds some shredded carrots, cucumber pieces and a sprinkle of peanut sauce then wraps it up nicely and brings it to Jaebeom’s lips. 

Jaebeom peers down at the wrap. “More romantic gestures?”

“You catch on quickly. Come on, open up.” Youngjae coaxes and Jaebeom actually complies. He chews on the wrap and his face lights up.

“I’ve eaten here many times, but I’ve never made this kind of spring roll.” He admits, talking around the bite. “What did you put in this?” 

“Just some vegetables and peanut sauce.” 

“Have you tried it yourself?”

“um no. it was a quick experiment actually.”

“Then I’ll make a quick roll for you too.” 

“No thanks. I dislike peanut sauce and cucumbers.”

“ah, you’re one of those.”  

“One of what?”

“A lot of my friends dislike cucumbers. I don’t understand why. They taste so refreshing.” 

“Only if you like them.” 

“I guess I can relate. I’ve never understood the allure of fried food.”

“Yeah, what’s that about?” 

Jaebeom shrugs and takes another long pause, but this time Youngjae assumes it’s to finish chewing and then take a sip of water. “I just dislike the taste of grease. As a teenager, my mum couldn’t believe that a teenager could possibly dislike fried chicken, so she kept buying me that or cooking it for me. Sometimes I ate it to show my appreciation for her efforts but thankfully she noticed my pain eventually. Nowadays she brings the food I like when she visits.” 

“You mum brings you food? That’s sweet. My parents think I’ll never grow up if they baby me like that.” 

“You’re so cute though. How can anyone deny you anything?” 

Youngjae feels a flutter in his belly and promptly stuffs some shrimp into his mouth to hide his huge smile.

*******

“You didn’t have to walk me to the bus stop.” Jaebeom says. It’s maybe the 5th time he is saying it since they left the restaurant and made the short walk to the station. They are standing by the bench, facing each other. 

“Again, of course I do. That’s what boyfriends do.” Youngjae smiles at the way Jaebeom gets shy suddenly. He finds it so adorable how easily flustered Jaebeom gets. 

“Thanks. You can take your leave now.”

“Not until I see you get on the bus. You look so tired. I’m worried you might fall over or something.”

Jaebeom rolls his shoulders and does actually feel the stiffness and soreness there, but he doesn’t admit it. “I’ll be fine.” 

“I still want to take care of you.” Youngjae pauses for a beat. “In fact, all I want to do is love you.” Youngjae says, suddenly serious, with an intensity that steals Jaebeom’s breath and renders him speechless. 

He quickly ducks his head to hide his reddening cheeks. 

“Think of you.” Youngjae says

“what?” Jaebeom asks, puzzled. 

“Your song. That’s the first ever song I listened to off your vol. 2 album. ‘I don’t want us to be apart for a single moment, I can’t stop thinking about you, all I want to do is love you’. When I listened to your song and heard those words I thought, ‘ah I want to say this to someone one day’.” Youngjae blushes, and shyly lowers his gaze as well. “Ironically I’m saying it back to you.” 

While they are standing around staring at the ground and blushing like shy teenagers, the bus arrives. 

Jaebeom finally looks up first at the bus and then at Youngjae. “That’s my cue.” He smiles softly. “Thanks for dinner.” 

Youngjae nods and throwing caution to the wind, he leans in and kisses Jaebeom’s cheek. It’s meant to be a tiny peck, but Youngjae gets carried away and lingeringly brushes his lips against the surprisingly smooth skin on Jaebeom’s cheek. “Good night.” He whispers thereafter and pulls back. 

Jaebeom feels a bit dizzy and overwhelmed by the abrupt hammering of his heart. “Good night.” he literally chokes out and hastily gets a move on before he makes an even bigger fool of himself. 

********

“Honestly I was shocked when Jackson told me that you asked Jaebeom out. I didn’t know you had it in you.” Jinyoung says from where he is making lunch by the stove. 

“Me either. We are so proud.” Yugyeom pulls Youngjae into a fond one armed hug. While Jinyoung is doing all the work because his helpful boyfriend is upstairs taking a shower, Youngjae and Yugyeom are seated next to each other at the kitchen island waiting for their food. They can’t cook for their lives, so every Saturday they take a break from a long week of badly made sandwiches, and shamelessly come to Jinyoung and Jackson’s house to eat Jinyoung’s delicious cooking.

This afternoon Jinyoung is making beef and mushrooms with mashed potatoes. The aroma alone has their mouths already watering. They can’t wait. 

“So, what’s it like dating your crush?” asks Jinyoung

“Jaebeom hyung is a regular guy.”

“I told you. Is he good to you though?”

“As good as a guy who doesn’t want to date me can be.” There must be a way Youngjae says it that makes Yugyeom give Youngjae a pat on the back and step right into comforting him. 

“Oh don’t say it like that. The problem isn’t with you. Besides, he said yes to your little experiment, so I say he likes you a little. Somehow. Otherwise he would have said no.”

“I agree.” Jinyoung nods. “He would have said no if you were utterly repulsive.” 

“I guess you guys are right.” Youngae agrees. “I hate to ask you guys this, but do you have any romantic dating ideas? I’m running out of options.”

Apparently that gets Jinyoung to temporarily abandon his cooking and turn towards Youngjae. “How is that possible? There are like tons of things you can do together.” 

“Yeah but Jaebeom hyung is a workaholic. He is always in his studio.”

“Then drag him out.”

“I don’t want to overstep by demanding that he takes time off what he loves doing to be with me. If I put him in a tough spot like that, I might get dumped.” 

“Relationships have demands sometimes, Youngjae. Even ultimatums.” Yugyeom gently points out. “It’s just a way to move forward and to grow as a couple. If Jaebeom never spends any time with you, how can your relationship grow?”

“I don’t know guys. What you are saying is true, but I still feel like it’s too early for me to start in on how his job is getting in the way of our relationship.” 

“Okay you might have a point there.” Jinyoung concedes at last. “Then you should just go to him.”

“What?” Youngjae is confused.

“If he spends all his time in his studio and that’s his comfort zone then go there and spend that time with him. Visit as often as you can. Take food, flowers-”

“Flowers? I’ve never men another man who likes flowers.” Yugyeom chortles.

Jinyoung continues like Yugyeom hasn’t even spoken. “Jaeebom is a man of romance. He might appreciate flowers.” 

********

“We don’t have plans to meet today. What are you doing here?” Jaebeom asks Youngjae who shows up at the studio on a Sunday afternoon. He takes notice of the bouquet of pink roses Youngjae is holding, but doesn’t think anything of it. 

Youngjae first wordlessly takes Jaebeom’s offered seat on the couch and then replies, “I texted and you didn’t answer. I assumed you were here working, so I dropped by I to visit you.” 

“You texted?” Jaebeom rolls his hair to his desk to look at his phone and then he groans and looks back at Youngjae with an apologetic smile. “I got carried away with work. sorry.” 

Jaebeom sits back down on his chair and sinks into it while swinging side to side in it in a very lethargic manner. As usual he looks really tired, Youngjae notes. “How long have you been in here working?” 

“I have no idea.” Jaebeom shrugs, clueless  

“Have you had something eat at least?” 

“I had a sandwich and before you lecture me, it was a very healthy sandwich.” 

Youngaej’s eyes narrow doubtfully, but he gives Jaebeom the benefit of the doubt anyway.  

“Okay then.” Youngjae extends the flowers to Jaebeom. “These are for you.” 

Jaebeom flounders, so dumbfounded by the situation. Flowers? That’s new. 

“um. Thanks.” He reaches out and takes them.”

Not oblivious to how astonished Jaebeom looks, Youngjae explains, “Pink roses symbolise gratitude. I just wanted to say thank you for giving me a chance.”

Jaebeom nods. “They are lovely.” No one has ever given him flowers and honestly he’s never cared for them, but he can’t quite say he is completely unaffected by Youngjae’s gesture right now. There is a tingling in his chest that he suspects means he is flattered. 

“Did you really come by just to see me and bring flowers?”

“Why does that seem strange to you? I like you and I came to see you. That’s what people do. You should be touched. Are you touched?” there is a huge, teasing smirk on Youngjae’s face.

Jaebeom face palms, half cringing at Youngjae’s ridiculousness and half hiding his smile because maybe he is a little moved. He runs a palm through his hair to push it back from his face, but his long bangs just fall back into his eyes anyway. 

“A friend of mine recommended a certain pasta restaurant. Shall we go see a movie and then have pasta?” Jaebeom doesn’t even know where this is coming from. Just a little shy of two weeks ago when Youngjae made this ridiculous proposal to date, Jaebeom couldn’t even picture himself making plans with a boyfriend yet here he is doing just that.  it must be the flowers doing crazy things to him, Jaebeom concludes.

“Sounds nice.” Youngjae beams, promising himself to thank Jinyoung later for the flowers suggestion. 

**********

“Let’s try a musical. I’ve never been.” Jaebeom suggests as they make their way to the movies. They previously stopped at some food stand to buy friend sweet potatoes dipped in sour chilli sauce. They are sharing one portion as they slowly walk side-by-side. 

Youngjae wrinkles his nose, dreading the suggestion. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Jaebeom shrugs. “Let’s be spontaneous.”

“Okay. What do you have in mind?”

“I looked up some options on the internet and apparently Moulin rouge is on tonight at a theatre near here.”

“I saw the film and hated it.” Youngjae informs

Jaebeom doesn’t give up though. “Plays are a little different sometimes. It’s worth a try.” 

“I suppose so.” Youngjae finally concedes, sensing that Jaebom won’t give up trying to get his way here tonight. 

********

It’s an hour into the play and so far the only thing Youngjae is enjoying is sitting so close next to his long time crush. He can’t stand the acting on stage and he is ready to throw a shoe at the next person who abruptly bursts into unwarranted singing. Every now and again he steals a glance at Jaebeom who is so engrossed in the play. Youngjae would suggest they get the hell out of here, but that’s selfish because Jaebeom seems to be enjoying himself.  

So Youngjae wraps his arm around Jaebeom’s and rests his head on Jaebeom’s shoulder for just in case he falls asleep. 

********

Outside the theatre, “How was the play?” Jaebeom asks

“I thought it was…exhilarating.” Youngjae puts on a painfully big smile. 

“Really?” Jebeom’s eyebrows are furrowed. “huh.” He ponders for a few beats. “That’s very interesting because, I thought it was a dreadful bore.” 

“Oh my God, really? I thought it too.” 

“Then why did you lie just now?”

“I was considering your feelings.”   

“I didn’t create that awful mess, so you don’t have to spare my feelings.” Jaebeom grins. “I hope you are not upset that we ended up seeing something bad after I altered your plan to see an actual movie.” 

“I just want to spend time with you.” 

Jaebeom nods, okay with that answer. “Let’s go eat.” 

“Okay.” Youngjae falls into step beside Jaebeom. 

*********

“You looked so engrossed in the play though.” they are still talking about the play even when they arrive at the restaurant. 

“After forcing you to watch, I had to put up a front.”

Youngjae laughs out loud at that. Stepping inside the establishment, they both discover that it’s classier than they both anticipated and Youngjae suddenly feels underdressed. Everyone within his eyeshot as a waiter escorts them to an available table is dressed fancily. 

Once they are seated, the waiter offers them menu card and departs, promising to be back in 3 minutes. 

Youngjae schools Jaebeom’s face, looking for signs that he might be uncomfortable too in their surroundings. If he is, there is no indication at all. Youngjae thinks that maybe he is being silly worrying too much about it. 

After a moment of deliberation, Jaebeom speaks out. “I like cheesy, so I’ll get the pasta in sweet cream cheese sauce.” 

“I’ll go for pasta with sausage and arugula.” Youngjae says and then flips to the beverages menu. “I hear that white wine goes well with most pasta dishes. I hope they have pinot grigio.” He mutters absently and after close inspection, he discovers they don’t have that. “I guess pinot bianco it is. its second best and at least they have that.” Youngjae finally looks up from the menu and finds Jaebeom looking at him in amazement. 

“You have knowledge about wine?”

Youngjae flushes. “A little.”

“It doesn’t sound like a little. You’re full of surprises, Youngjae. I’m impressed.” Jaebeom says

The waiter returns and they place their orders. While they wait for their food, they talk lightly about their favourite foods and their experiences eating at restaurants.

Their food eventually arrives and they dig into its deliciousness with fervour. Sometimes they talk around their bites of food, trading commentary on the food, and other times they fall silent, forgetting to keep conversation going. Neither one complains about the lack of much conversation, so they guiltlessly continue eating. 

**********

Tonight Jaebeom offers to Youngjae to the bus station. Youngjae almost can’t contain his giddiness because tonight is almost too good to be true. Apart from the awful stage play faux pas, they had a great dinner and now Jaebeom is holding his hand and walking him to the bus stop. 

Jaebeom doesn’t let go of his hand even when they arrive at the station. They don’t stand there for long before a bus arrives. 

“That’s my cue.” Youngjae says. “Thanks for dinner. The pasta was divine.” 

“I had fun too.” 

Jaebeom likes to think that he is drunk on good company, and delicious food and wine; and that’s why he let’s go of Youngjae’s hand to cup his cheeks and then lean in to press a soft kiss against Youngjae’s forehead. 

The move is totally haphazard and unlike him, but it just seems and feels right to end tonight this way. “Good night.” He whispers. 

Youngjae feels so light heated in a way that has nothing to do with the wine he drank earlier. Heart racing, he whispers back with a huge grin, “good night, hyung.” 

********

On Tuesday afternoon the same week, Jaebeom walks into his work studio from his coffee break at the cafeteria and finds Youngjae swinging on his work chair with Coco on his lap. 

“Hi, hyung.” Youngjae chirps, wearing the biggest most infectious smile.

Getting over his initial surprise, Jaebeom can’t help smiling and shaking his head at the ridiculousness of this situation. “When I agreed to try dating you, this isn’t what I meant.” He goes to put his bag down on the couch. 

“What? Coco and I missed you, so we thought we could drop by to see you. A workaholic like you needs company and laughter.”

“Says who?”

“Me. I brought delicious food too.” Youngjae gestures at the lunch bag Jaebeom completely missed at the table in front of the couch. “This is what boyfriends do.” 

Jaebeom is feeling a bit overwhelmed by all this but he hates to admit that he is also a bit touched by it. 

“So I can see.” Jaebeom’s eyes are fixed on the endearing sight that is Youngjae cradling his little dog in his arms like a precious and treasured child. Jaebeom doesn’t know why but he is staring at the cute dog and wondering what it’s like to be cuddled and loved by Youngjae. 

“I found a work colleague of yours in here and he told me I can stick around. I hope that’s not a problem.”

“It’s not but I have some work to do though.”

“No one is stopping you. When you get tired and just need to talk or eat, Coco and I will be right here.” Youngjae’s smile is a little tentative and hesitant like he doesn’t feel as confident as he seems. “c-can we stay?” he finally asks, his eyes so wide with hope. Jaebeom’s heart weakens.

“Okay sure.”

Youngjae beams in excitement, smile as bright as the sun. It’s so beautiful, Jaebeom thinks. 

Youngjae gets up and goes to sit on the couch. 

Jaebeom takes his laptop out from his bag and gets to work, throwing his headphones. He has no idea how long he has been at it when he finally pulls his headphones off and gently cracks his stiffening neck. Leaning back in his chair, he swings it around toward the couch. Youngjae is still, lying on his side, legs bent at the knees while Coco is nestled against his chest. They are both fast asleep. 

Jaebeom’s chest fills with warmth and fondness at the adorable sight. 

He supposes it does feel good having someone around silently supporting and waiting for him. 

As quietly as possible, Jaebeom wheels his chairs across the room to where Youngjae is. He reaches out to pet Coco a little, her soft while fur. Jaebeom surprises himself by actually contemplating touching Youngjae’s hair as well. his hand is already almost there when he stops himself with a harsh shake of his head. It’s tempting though what with Youngjae looking so peaceful, soft, cuddly and warm. 

As if feeling Jaebeom’s presence hovering over him, Youngjae suddenly wakes up and slowly blinks his eyes open. He gets all flustered seeing Jaebeom there watching him sleep.

Jaebeom smiles awkwardly and apologetically. “This must be uncomfortable for you. Sorry.” 

Youngjae crimsons. “I should apologise for falling asleep when I came here to keep you company.” 

“It’s okay. I got too carried away with work anyway.”

“How long have been asleep.” Youngjae sits up, careful not to wake Coco up. She shifts a little and opens one eye then promptly decides there is nothing to see and goes back to sleep.

“No idea.” 

“of course you lost track of time.” Youngjae quietly mutters, nodding slowly, and then he abruptly realises something. “hyung, are you okay sitting this close to Coco? What about your allergies? I shouldn’t have brought her. I totally forgot. It’s just that I have no one to babysit for me today and-” 

“My allergies are not that severe.” Jaebeom cuts Youngjae’s rant off with a grin.

Youngjae pouts and Jaebeom’s grin turns into a laugh. “Stop beating yourself up about it. I said I’m okay. Really.” 

“I can only survive about 30 to 45 minutes around cats before my allergies kick in.” 

“I’m surprised you are not having an allergic reaction to me right now, considering I’m coming from a home with 5 cats.” 

“I guess you don’t have any fur on your clothes.” 

“Sometimes it gets stuck in my hair.”

“Your hair looks thoroughly washed.” Youngjae thoughtlessly reaches out to touch Jaebeoms bangs, gently pushing them off his face.

Jaebem doesn’t get the instinctive urge to finch from the touch, so he just lets Youngjae have his way.  Youngjae’s hand trails lower until his palm cups Jaebeom’s cheek and then he slowly starts moving forward into Jaebeom’s personal space. He squints, giving Jaebeom’s face a long, scrutinizing look as if examine it.

A little confused, “what are you doing?” Jaebeom asks, surprised he doesn’t choke because of how affected he is by Youngjae’s close proximity. 

“Hold on, there something on your face.” Youngjae absently mutters while shifting even closer to Jaebeom.”

Jaebeom is about to speak when Youngjae abruptly kisses him on the lips, just a quick, soft and light kiss. 

Small as the kiss may be, it doesn’t fail to get Jaebeom all red-faced and flustered. 

A soft knock at the door interrupts them and claims there attention. 

It’s Jaebeom’s good friend Mark. He is already standing just inside the door and smiling apologetically at Youngjae and Jaebeom.

“Hi, sorry to interrupt.” Mark says

Jaebeom feels his face get hotter. “It’s alright.” He says and clears his throat to gain come composure and dignity because right now he has no idea how much Mark just saw. 

“I came to see if you’d like to go out for a late lunch.” Mark’s gaze slides to Youngjae. “Your friend can join us.” 

Jaebeom finally snaps out of his initial embarrassment and jumps into introductions. He gestures at Mark, “this is Mark Tuan, a friend who also works here as a music producer. Mark, this Youngjae… my boyfriend.” 

Mark’s eyes widen comically at Jaebeom, and he can tell Mark has many questions but is holding back for later. Thank goodness. 

Mark makes a small bow at Youngjae and he does the same. 

“Okay then would you and your boyfriend like to join me for lunch?” 

“Next time. Youngjae already brought me lunch.” Jaebeom declines with an apologetic smile and this time he can see Mark nearly bouncing on her toes with excitement and curiosity. Jaebeom is so not looking forward to the time Mark will get a chance to badger him with questions. 

“Another time then.” Mark finalises and exits the studio.

Jaebeom takes his attention back to Youngjae and finds him grinning and visibly blushing profusely. 

“You called me your boyfriend.” Youngjae says and then does this weirdly cute thing like he is trying to stop himself from squealing; or floating off the couch into the air. Jaebeom ends up getting flustered as well in the process. 

“well, you are my man, aren’t you?” 

Gaze lowered bashfully, Youngjae nods. He can’t believe what he’s hearing. His heart feels so full and ready to burst. This is certainly one of the best days of his life. As awesome as all this is though, a Youngjae also feels like Jaebeom wasin a bit of a tight spot, forced to introduce Youngjae as hs boyfriend because he couldn’t introduce him as a friend.

Coco stirs awake and Youngjae pulls her into his lap, then he musters the courage to meet Jabeeom’s gaze again, “Maybe I should stop visiting you at work. You looked a little uncomfortable just now.”

“That’s because I haven’t told my friends about you and me.” Jaebeom admits and stops there to gauge Youngjae’s reaction before he goes on. Youngjae facial expression is pretty neutral, so Jaebeom adds, “When we first started seeing each other, I didn’t know how to explain out arrangement to my friends.” 

“I get that. I mean I honestly want to be introduced to the people in your life eventually, and to get to know them, but the best time is when you’re ready.” 

“So, you’ll wait?”

“I have to. I don’t want to push you least you scurry away like a frightened mouse.” 

“A mouse? Is that what I look like to you?”

Youngjae tilts his head to the side as if studying Jjaebeom more closely, and then he snaps his fingers. “No. a hamster is more your speed.” 

Smiling and shaking his head, Jaebeom reaches for youngjae and digs his fingers into his sides. Youngjae screeches and bursts into a laughing fit under Jaebeom’s merciless tickling, until the room fills with their laughter.

********

Of course Jaebeom’s friends crowd in on him with a million questions once Youngjae is gone. They are like excited sorority girls as they make themselves comfortable on the couch in Jaebeom’s studio. 

“So, when did you boyfriend?” Mark asks without wasting any more time.

Jaebeom groans and rolls his eyes, turning around in his chair to face them. “It’s only been a few weeks.” 

“and you didn’t tell us?” Bam Bam looks so scandalised that Jaebeom almost laughs at the sight. 

“The thing with Youngjae and I is not a regular dating se up.” 

“I thought you were done with the dating scene for a while.” Bam Bam points out

“I Am. I was…” Jaebeom abruptly stops, giving up on explaining exactly what’s going on.

Mark frowns, puzzled. “You said Youngjae is your boyfriend though.” 

“We are seeing each other. Trying things out, if you will.” Jaebeom finally manages an explanation and even mentally pats himself on the back for it. His friends gape and look at each other then they look back at Jaebeom making cooing sounds. 

Jaebeom wants to die of embarrassment. 

“How the hell did Youngjae convince you to date? We haven’t been able to do it for months now.”

“He is persistent.” Without realising it, Jaebeom smiles fondly. His friends notice this and coo yet again. 

“Someone changed hard-headed Jaebeom hyung’s mind. He might be the one.” Bam Bam says seriously. “Also, I looked through your texts and discovered you sent him a heart emoji at least twice while you were texting him.” 

Jaebeom’s jaw drops, appalled. “You did what? How? When? Why?” 

“Well Mark hyung told me you got a boyfriend, so I came over here to ask you about it, but found you’d stepped out. Your phone was right there at your desk, so I helped myself.” Bam Bam punctuates his explanation with a careless shrug as if there is nothing strange about what he did. 

Jaebeom looks helplessly at Mark and then back at Bam Bam, “how dare you.” 

“hyung let’s focus on the point here, the heart emojis.”

Leaning back in his seat, Jaebeom decides to let the invasion of privacy thing go despite how slightly miffed he still feels about it. “Youngjae and I have been seeing each other for about three weeks now, so-”

“Three weeks?” Mark exclaims “That’s a lot. Sounds serious.” 

“I don’t know.” Jaebeom shakes his head.

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“You guys know how I feel about dating. I happened to tell Youngjae and he decided to try and change my mind about it.”

“Well has he?” asks Mark

Bam Bam looks at Mark, “It’s been three weeks, hyung. I think Jaebeom hyung has changed his mind or is on the way to.” 

Mark nods after taking Bam Bam’s point into consideration, and then he looks seriously at Jaebeom. “Why don’t you tell us how you feel?” 

Completely leaned back in his chair and staring at the ceiling, Jaebeom takes his time contemplating the question before giving an answer. “We have fun together. I like being with him…I guess.” 

“Enough to be in serious relationship?” Mark asks and Jaebeom finally shifts his gaze back to his friends. “That’s what I don’t know. I feel like I’ll get burdened by it if I put an official label on it.”

“Certainly you don’t expect Youngjae to experiment with you forever.” 

“I need to make a decision, I know.” He pauses for a little while. “A little while ago I thought the same thing- that maybe all this is wrong and it’s not fair to string him along in case I don’t come around. I was ready to break things off right then, but then he visited me here just because missed me, and he brought me flowers. Seriously, flowers. Who does that?” 

Bam Bam guffaws. “He brought you flowers? Oh my gosh, I have never received flowers.”

“Me either.” Mark replies. “Youngjae is so sweet though, and very brave too. He is seriously wooing you. It’s adorable.”

“Did you just say wooing me?” Jaebeem amusedly asks, but he neither expects nor waits for an answer, so he goes on to say. “Yes Youngjae is really great.” 

“Then maybe don’t put a label on it just yet.” Mark advices, suddenly serious again. “Tell Youngjae to give you a little more time to decide. I’m sure he’ll understand. He seems to like you a lot.” 

Jaebeom nods thoughtfully. “That could work.”

“How did you guys meet by the way?”

“Youngjae is a fan of my music. His friend arranged for us to meet. We got talking and, well, here we are.” 

“You made fan’s dream come true? How nice of you.” Bam Bam throws two thumbs up at Jaebeom. “I hope he’s not a stalker fan.”

“He’s not or I’d know.” Jaebeom is quick to jump to Youngjae’s defence.

“Just in case he is a stalker, I should meet him ASAP to confirm that he’s not.” 

“Firstly I don’t want you idiots anywhere near Youngae just yet and secondly if you refer to him as a stalker one more time, I’ll really hurt you.” 

Mark and Bam Bam burst into another cooing spell, and Jaebeom rolls eyes, turning away from them. 

********

Wednesday comes along and it’s a pretty regular day for Jaebeom. Everything he has scheduled for the day goes moderately smoothly with expected glitches here and there, but its’ nothing he’s not used to handling. 

All in all it’s a good day for Jaebeom.; except, it’s also a bad day for him because he hasn’t heard from Youngjae since  the previous day in the afternoon day. Jaebeom can’t ascertain when it happened, but somewhere along the way he has grown accustomed and fond of receiving texts and memes from Youngjae throughout the day. Today feels weird without that and by the time the clock hits 3pm in the afternoon, Jaebeom is getting really worried. To make matters worse, Youngjae isn’t answering his phone. 

By 4:30, Jaebeom is getting desperate and that’s how after a lot of hesitation and deliberation, he ends up calling Jinyoung. 

Jinyoung answers his phone, sounding genuinely happy to hear from Jaebeom, and at least that makes Jaebeom feel less uncomfortable and awkward about the direction in which he is about to stir the conversation.

“So, can I help you with something or is this a social call?” Jinyoung asks after the pleasantries. 

Jaebeom swallows thickly, “Has Youngjae told you anything about him and me? That we are still…acquainted?” 

Surprisingly there is laughter in Jinyoung’s voice when he replies, “Youngjae told me that the two of you are more than just acquainted, yes.” 

“Oh.” Jaebeom makes an awkward pause. “That’s why I’m wondering where Youngjae is. Have you heard from him today?”

“No I haven’t. Why don’t you call him?”

“I tried. He isn’t picking up.”

“Is it urgent?”

“Not really. I just… miss him.” Jaebeom wants to smack himself on the mouth the moment he says that out loud. What the hell is wrong with him?

If Jinyoung feels a certain way about what Jaebeom just said, there is no indication. “I’ll call Youngjae’s other friends to see if anyone has heard from him. I’ll find a way to let him know you’re trying to reach him.”

“Thanks.” 

*******

On the express bus from Daegu to Seoul, Youngjae turns his phone off so that he can take a nice peaceful nap during the three-hour ride. His work day today started as early at 5am, and that coupled with the struggles of working under pressure the rest of the day has him exhausted. He has plenty of texts and missed calls from his friends and from Jaebeom as well. Youngjae knows that he should probably start going through them, but he is so tired. I’ll call everyone first thing when I get off the bus, he promises himself. 

Somehow when Youngjae arrives in Seoul, he feels even more exhausted. He should know by now that power naps don’t work when you’re on the verge of falling over from stress. While slowly walking out of the station, he switches his phone back on and starts going through the texts first. He notices the Jinyoung first obviously because it reads ‘emergency. Call or text back ASAP.’

The bus station is too noisy to call, so Youngjae decides to send a text instead

Youngjae: what’s up, Hyung?

It’s as though Jinyoung is sitting by his phone waiting for Youngjae’s text. He replies almost instantaneously. 

Jinyoung: about time. Your boyfriend called me to ask about what’s going on cause he can’t reach you.

Youngjae’s footsteps come to a halt and his eyebrows furrow in confusion. 

Youngjae: do you mean Jaebeom hyung?

Jinyoung: do you have another boyfriend? Anyway he misses you. Call him now.

Youngjae is really surprised but flattered that Jaebeom sought after him to the point of calling Jinyoung. He has no idea why Jaebeom made the choice to shelter his big, caring heart from love, and frankly he doesn’t want to know. All Youngjae cares about is beautiful moments like this when Jaebeom lets his guard down and let’s his vulnerabilities show. So Jaebeom is a needy boyfriend. Youngjae is very pleased to know this Jaebeom. 

Without wasting another second, Youngjae says thanks to Jinyoung, and then goes on to text his boyfriend. 

*******

The café Youngjae is waiting at is nearly empty, so Jaebeom doesn’t have trouble at all spotting Youngjae’s table. Jaebeom smiles as he walks to the table, feeling frighteningly happy about seeing Youngjae. He can’t understand any of these emotions, and right now he so doesn’t care. After a day of longing to be with or just to see Youngjae, all Jaebeom wants to do is to hug him. 

Youngjae stands up to greet Jaebeom and gets a little stunned when Jaebeom instantly tugs him close and gently wraps his arms around him. The affection is definitely welcome though, so Youngjae slides his own arms around Jaebeom’s waist and drops his head on Jaebeom’s broad shoulder, nuzzling into the warmth. 

They pull apart eventually and Jaebeom smiles at Youngjae. I missed you; those words are written clearly across Jaebeom’s face even if he doesn’t voice them out. 

“Sorry I couldn’t call or text you back.” Youngjae says as they take their seats opposite each other.  

“It’s okay. You look beat, so I’m guessing you had a rough day.” To say Youngjae looks exhausted is Jaebeom putting it lightly. He looks worn out and quite frankly sad as well. 

Youngjae manages a faint smile. “I was in Daegu today. There is a man there aspiring to start up an entertainment agency here in Seoul and sign 5 teenage boys to form a boy band. That man asked me to give the boys some vocal lessons. We agreed that he would pay me in instalments and we signed on it. I’ve been travelling there to do just that. Now that man has disappeared and so have the boys. Since yesterday I’ve been going there to look for him and ask people around, but…..” Youngjae trails off, shaking his head hopelessly.

“That’s terrible. Have you reported him to the police?” 

“I did today. That’s what I was sorting out.” 

“At least the man wrote down his signature and details somewhere. He can’t run forever. It’ll be alright.” Jaebeom cajoles, hoping it’s enough to comfort Youngjae. 

“The police officer that’s helping me said the same thing.”

“There you go. Now cheer up please. I know the situation is hellish, but don’t be annoyed or sad about that. How about you push all that aside and smile since you’re with me? I hope you can be happy when you’re with me.” 

Youngjae’s smile is more genuine this time because he does feel a little better after talking to his boyfriend. “I don’t know, hyung, but you’re acting like a real boyfriend today. Might you be warming up to this dating thing?”

Jaebeom grins bashfully. “Maybe. I don’t know.” He admits. “What I do know is that I like being with you, even when we are just sharing our problems like this.”

“Me too. Thanks for listening.” 

“You don’t have to go through all that alone. I’m here if you need me. I’ll help any way I can.” 

“That’s sweet of you.” Youngjae’s heart is about to burst. Its moment that he realises his crush on Jaebeom has blossomed into love. 

“How about grabbing a meal with me instead of feeling sad? Let’s cheer up now hm?” 

“I’d like that.”

“Okay. Let’s go.” Jaebeom extends his hand and Youngjae takes it. 

********

After dinner, they settle for movie night at Youngjae’s place. By the time they get to his place, Youngjae’s mood is back up and he is ready to wind down and relax for the evening. 

Jaebeom gives Youngjae’s place a quick inspection of whatever is within eyeshot. The apartment is a small, great room style setting and it looks very neat with minimal furniture, and close to no décor. What matters is that there is a decent couch and good sized TV perfect for their movie night.

“Make yourself comfortable, hyung.” Youngjae invites, gesturing at the couch.

“Thanks.”

“I think my princess is in my room. Her sitter left about an hour ago. I’ll go check on her. Do you want to freshen up or something?” 

Jaebeom regards Youngjae with his head tilted to the side, “Is that your way of telling me I look shabby?”

“It doesn’t matter if you look shabby. You’re already in my heart.” 

Jaebeom makes an agonised noise and covers his face with his palms. It’s something Jaebeom does when he gets shy, Youngjae now knows. Reaching up, Youngjae slides Jaebeom’s palms away from his face. “too cheesy? Those words aren’t even mine?”

“They’re not?” Jaebeom hums, still struggling to keep eye contact

“I got them from your song lyrics.” 

“Do I really sound that cheesy?”

“Always.”

“I’ll work on slowing down with that cheese.”

“Don’t. I love it.” 

Jaebeom nods, also wondering when Youngjae’s opinion became so important. “I won’t.” he pauses for a beat. “And yeah I’d like to wash my face and brush my teeth.” 

******

Jaebeom walks back into the living area looking fresh and rejuvenated. What’s more, his hair is tied up in a cute bun. Youngjae’s heart melts at the sight. He has to stop himself from cooing and reaching out to pinch Jaebeom’s cheeks. After making sure his baby is okay, Youngjae freshened up a bit himself and he is ready to continue this evening. “Ready for movie night?” He asks 

“Yes.” Jaebeom grins.

“Snacks?”

“If I eat anymore my belly will explode.”

“My feelings exactly.” 

They sit down next to each other on the couch and end up watching whatever they find on TV and that’s a rerun of a Korean romance series. 

Youngjae slowly and cautiously moves closer to Jaebeom on the couch and curls against him, hugging Jaebeom’s arm. Jaebeom doesn’t stiffen or seem uncomfortable, so the lack of gestured or voiced out protest encourages Youngjae to get even more comfortable. 

Silence stretches as the show goes on. One comment from Jaebeom about the poor camera work in the film is apparently all that’s needed to break the silence and invite a full, fun conversation. 

Jaebeom feels all fuzzy inside and maybe it’s spurred on by the conversation or the sweet scent of Youngjae’s hair which Jaebeom is shamelessly unable to resist smelling every now and then. Maybe it’s both. He doesn’t want to think too much like he did in the past. He is tired of caring and reading into things. At this moment being with Youngjae feels great and that’s that. 

Youngjae is not the first person Jaebeom has ever liked, but he had found something in him that he likes just a little more, that has him just a little more interested in and is just a little fascinated by him. And then there is the familiar fluttery feeling in his belly whenever they spend time together or whenever Youngjae laughs, or smiles or teases him.

Youngjae suddenly turns towards Jaebeom and looks at him when the weight of Jaebeom’s gaze upon Youngjae becomes too much. Youngjae is about to ask why Jaebeom is staring but his words get stuck in his throat because of the way Jaebeom is looking at him with such gentleness and fondness. Youngjae has to tear his gaze away to hide his blushing face.

“Don’t look at me like that.” he shyly pleads

“How am I looking at you?”

“As if you like me. It’s rude to give people false hope.” 

“I do like you.” Jaebeom finds himself unceremoniously admitting and it surprises them both.

The warmth on Youngjae’s face is nothing compared to the warmth spreading in his heart. Meeting Jaebeom’s gaze now, he almost can’t believe what he just heard. 

“Why are you surprised?” Jaebeom chuckles. “You’re a very likable person. Your charm is almost irresistible.” 

“I’m charming?” Youngjae asks for lack of anything better to say

Jaebeom laughs this time at the dumbfounded expression on Youngjae’s beautiful face. “Yes you are. I wasn’t looking for a romance but you got me to fall for you.” He says and tentatively reaches out to trail his fingers across Youngjae’s cheek, causing goose bumps to rise on the soft skin there as it pinks some more. 

Youngjae feels so light headed because all this feels like a dream. “So what will you do now?” He murmurs 

“I think I’m all out options except one.”

“I hope that one is to date me for real.” 

There is a slight playful smile on Jaebeom’s lips as he shrugs helplessly. “I really like it when we hang out, oddly even when you bring me flowers.” 

“so the flowers weren’t too much?”

“I wouldn’t accept flowers from anyone else. I don’t know what it is about you, but everything feels so comfortable.  I can even blush and be shy with you without feeling too embarrassed about it.” 

“You’re welcome.” Youngjae cheekily replies, and then more quietly and seriously, he adds. “I don’t get shy or blush nearly as much as you do, but I’m comfortable being who I am with you too. I’ve never been courageous enough to go after the things I want, and then meeting you gave me that courage and ironically it was to boldly chase after you. When I first met you, I didn’t expect any of what has happened up to this point. Hyung, I don’t care whether you believe in love or not. I just want you to stay beside me to pick the cucumbers off my plate and eat them for me, share bad jokes with me, talk to me, eat meals with me, greet me after a bad day, watch silly shows together-”

This time both of Jaebeom’s hands come up to cup his face tenderly, cutting Youngjae off,  and when Jaebeom inclines his face closer, Youngjae’s eyes flutter closed in anticipation. Jaebeom takes a moment to appreciate how cute Youngjae looks like this, and then he leans in the rest of the way and presses his lips to Youngjae’s.  

This kiss is nothing like that quick peck Youngjae stole at Jaebeom’s studio. This one is deeper, slower, sweeter, hotter, and as wonderful as Youngjae has imagined up to this point. Youngjae feels warm. It’s only short of perfect because it doesn’t last long enough. 

Jaebeom is left feeling just a bit astounded by how unexpectedly right he feels holding Youngjae close and kissing him. He realises now that whenever they are together, every thought stops existing and all Jaebeom does is feel, relish; and the way Youngjae just kissed him like he is so precious and treasurable… how can Jaebeom not fall for someone who makes him feel this way? 

Maybe Youngjae is imaging things because he is so dazed with love, but he thinks he sees his own emotions reflected in Jaebeom’s eyes when they pull apart. Their foreheads are still pressed against each other, noses gently touching. 

Youngjae can’t help himself, so he kisses Jaebeom again. 

The next time they pull apart, Youngjae nestles back into Jaebeom, resting his head on his chest and sighing in gratification when Jaebeom wraps his arms around him and pulls him closer, his nose nuzzling into Youngjae’s hair. 

This is right, Jaebeom thinks. 

After a long serene moment, he says, “I’d like you to come to my place and meet my kids.”

“Wow, really? That’s a huge step.” Youngjae responds, half teasing. 

“My friends too. And again let me say that they are extra as hell, so please be ready to feel overwhelmed.” 

“I have a feeling they’ll get along famously with my squad.” Youngjae shudders in dreadfulness. “Let’s enjoy these moments before all the teasing we’ll have to endure.”

“I’m okay with that as long as we get to recline like this at the end of it all.”  Jaebeom’s arm tightens around Youngjae as he kisses his hair as if to emphasis the point. 

“I agree.”