Forget excitement, happiness and the disbelief he had first felt some hours earlier.

Jongin has never felt more terrified in his entire life.

“You can do this, Jongin! Give me a smile,” Minseok claps him on the shoulder and snorts when all he can manage is a constipated look. “Don’t overthink it. Just dance and skate like you know how to. I believe in you,” the other says. He is thankful to have Minseok here. The other could be such a motivational speaker, not that Jongin does not still feel like throwing up though.

He nods and steps onto the ice, but he does not let go of the walls just yet. It is funny because he has skated plenty of times in this rink before, but no occasion quite compares to this.

“Anytime you’re ready, Jongin,” Junmyeon gives him an encouraging nod and gestures to the middle of the rink. “You’re trained in ballet right? Let me play you the classic Chopin Ballade No. 1… just go with the flow of the music. There is no need to overdo things. Kyungsoo and I are just here to assess your current level of skills, so whatever jumps or spins you know, feel free to showcase them. No pressure.”

At the mention of Kyungsoo’s name, Jongin lets out a shaky breath and makes his way to the center of the ice.

No pressure. Yeah, right. He swears he can feel bile building at the back of his throat.

Jongin was definitely not expecting to wake up this morning to Junmyeon’s call telling him he had enrolled him in the National Skating Academy’s new training programme and that there was a Coach who was interested to take him under his wings.

“Sorry, what did you say? Can you repeat that?” he had muttered into his phone, voice gruff because the other was disrupting his unfulfilled eight hours of beauty sleep.

“I said I have someone who is interested to be your Coach, Jongin.” Junmyeon’s chirpy voice rids him of all remnants of sleep at once and Jongin shoots up to sit cross-legged on his bed. He thinks he also made a dying whale noise but he will neither confirm nor deny it now. “You don’t have any classes today, do you? Get up, wash up and I shall see you at your family’s rink, alright?”

He nods frantically until he realises Junmyeon cannot see him. “Y-Yes! Thank you!” he chokes out. He does have a lecture around noon, but he supposes it will not matter since this is not the first time he is skipping. “Oh my god, I have been waiting for a chance like this for so long… how did you manage to find me a Coach? Who is he? Or is he a she? Wait that sounded wrong… but you know what I mean. I’m rambling, am I not? Do I know them? I love them so much already, I cannot believe—”

“Of course you know him, Jongin,” Junmyeon had laughed and hung up right away. And it was not until Jongin arrived at his family’s rink that he sees Junmyeon and Kyungsoo waiting for him to open the door when he connects the dots. He was actually contemplating making a run for it since the pair had yet to spot him, but he lost his chance the second Junmyeon yelled his name and waved him over.

Deep breaths, Kim Jongin. Pull yourself together.

He comes to a stop in the center of the ice and looks up. It is nerve-wrecking knowing that this is a do or die moment for him. Kyungsoo looks so serious watching him from the side. In fact, Jongin has not heard him speak ever since he got here. He does not know if Kyungsoo being his potential Coach was voluntary on the latter’s part or he was being forced to by Junmyeon. Either way, Jongin wants to impress them. He wants to prove to them that he still has a fighting chance at his age.

There is something different in knowing that you are about to skate in front of the man who had inspired you to skate. It is both terrifying and exhilarating, and he just hopes he does not succumb to his nerves. He exhales deeply and gets into ready ballet fourth position, before Junmyeon starts the music.

Do your best, he tells himself as he stays motionless, letting the first few piano chords run over him. You cannot screw this up! And when the first break in the music comes, he pushes off with his back foot and skates instinctively.

He does not have a ready programme — he has no choreographer and no famous composer to supply him with songs — so he tries to incorporate familiar ballet elements in his skate now and even throws in the jumps and spins he has been training himself to do all these years. It is not easy skating in time with the music, and he knows he is not perfect, hence why he stumbles on the landing during the opening attempt at a double lutz.

“Go Jongin!” He hears Minseok cheering for him from the sidelines and he shakes the fall away at once, putting in even more effort in the next jumping pass, which thankfully he narrowly succeeds in pulling off. He smiles and dives into a catch foot layback and biellmann spin after that. These are slightly easier for him to handle.

He thinks he does pretty well for the rest of his jumps, except one toe loop when he had to touch the ice to keep himself from falling, but he has always been more confident in his spins anyway. So when Jongin thinks the music is drawing to a close, he puts in all he has into a proper combination of spins before coming to a halt with his hands extended up in the air. It is a little offbeat, but it should do, and Minseok bursts out into applause once he lets out the deep breath he had held in and relaxes his body.

Kyungsoo and Junmyeon look to be engaged in conversation, and it worries him a little how they saw his skating.

“I’m so proud, Jongin!” Minseok greets him with a hug when he walks off ice and hands him his blade covers. “All your self-training must have paid off! I didn’t know you were that good…”

“Stop it, hyung. I’m sure I’m not as good as you say.” Jongin smiles widely at the other and glances expectantly at Junmyeon and Kyungsoo when they turn to him collectively.

The frown on the latter’s face looks ominous, and that makes Jongin’s face fall at once.

“Not bad, Jongin,” Junmyeon starts off. “Your interpretation of the music was good at times… I guess that is where your dance background helped. Really solid spins as well, which is impressive for someone with little experience and who has been self-training.”

But? Somehow, he cannot feel happy at the praise he is getting yet because he sees in Junmyeon’s shifty eyes that there is more, and that more is likely to be something negative.

“Your attempts at jumps were not bad, but I think—”

“Oh cut the bullcrap already, hyung,” Kyungsoo interrupts and wheels himself forward so that he is just a step away from Jongin. “Kim Jongin,” he calls out, and his voice automatically makes Jongin straighten up. 

Oh boy… he braces himself for whatever is to come, and sure enough, Kyungsoo is not one to be the good cop in a good cop bad cop situation, unlike Junmyeon.

The other digs into Jongin like he is his first meal after going months without food.

“You have been learning to skate by yourself these past three years?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Yes, I have,” he squeaks out.

“I don’t know why you were smiling earlier.” Jongin freezes. “You have nothing to be proud of,” Kyungsoo says coldly.

“Hey! Why are you being such an ,” Minseok lets out an indignant noise on his behalf, but all Jongin can do is stare at Kyungsoo with his mouth open, his expression lost. “Why are you acting like this, Soo?” He can hear the older guy asking his friend this.

“Your only positives are your flexibility and interpretation of the music. Other than those two, your spins are passable in training but definitely not in competitions, and your jumps—” the other scoffs, ignoring Minseok’s earlier question. “Your jumps are too sloppy. You still skate like an ice hockey player. Your take-off is heavy because of your weight and you don’t spin fast enough in the air and that is why you barely managed two rotations per jump. You will not make it when everyone else on the ice is doing quads and triple axels.”

Jongin curls in on himself pathetically and looks down at his skates. He knew he could trust Kyungsoo to speak the truth, but it hurts especially since he had worked so hard to even get to this level of skating in these past three years. He knows he is no World and Olympic Champion like the other, but is it not commendable enough that he had taught himself all these with no external help and resources? If the other wants him to raise his game, he will most definitely need a Coach first and foremost.

“What Kyungsoo is trying to say is that you are a diamond in the rough, Jongin.” Junmyeon shoots Kyungsoo a glare when the latter scoffs, and Jongin can quite confirm the other does not share Junmyeon’s sentiments. “I’m sure with his help, your skating will evolve.” The Coach pats him on the shoulder.

“Oh, I rescind my offer to be his Coach, hyung,” Kyungsoo says. The casual way he says it too is like a bolt of lightning has just struck Jongin.

The panicked “What?!” slips from his mouth at once. “No, you cannot take it back!” he raises his voice. “I need a Coach. I need y-you…” He quickly steps in front of Kyungsoo to block the other’s way when he makes it seem like he is leaving.

Kyungsoo glares up at him in return, but Jongin stays resolute. That is until the other decides to roll forward regardless and he jumps out of the way quickly because he knows it would still hurt if the other rolls over his feet, even with his skates still on.

“Oh, come on!” Jongin whines as he watches after Kyungsoo’s retreating back. “When you won your gold medal at Four Continents three years ago… do you remember what you told the media when they asked you how you felt at the post-finals press conference?” He feels a sliver of hope in him when Kyungsoo stops abruptly, and he sees Minseok and Junmyeon exchange curious looks from the corner of his eye.

“You said no one believed in your abilities growing up. That no one saw you beating the odds as you overcame past injuries to compete against big names. Everyone told you to give up, but because your loved ones stood by you, it motivated you to work harder and prove to the rest you’re not weak. And that is why that first gold medal you got was extra special. It was not your reward, but your family’s.”

Jongin knows and remembers this because he has a print out of the feature on Kyungsoo’s victory in his room. Even though the paper has yellowed somewhat and with the ink gone faint, he still looks at the other’s words like they were his source of motivation every day, whenever he comes back tired and demoralised.

“When the reporters asked if you would go into coaching one day, you said Junmyeon hyung brought you in even when no one wanted to train you; even though it was a big gamble. ” The said Coach stands a little taller and comes up to his side. “You said you would forever be grateful to him and should you be in his position one day you would like to bestow the same kind of kindness to someone who needs that kind of faith and trust,” Jongin tries to keep his voice steady even as Kyungsoo turns around in his wheelchair.

“Why— w-why can’t that person be me?”

Minseok squeezes his shoulder comfortingly when his voice breaks.

“Three years ago, when you found me crying in the showers after my father told me I was not his son and that he doesn’t support me going into figure skating, you told me I would do well regardless. You made me a promise that you would help me however you could. You also claimed you do not break promises. Ever.” Jongin shrugs in a nonchalant fashion. “I thought you were a man of your word.”

There is a long period of silence before Kyungsoo eventually speaks.

“I don’t like him,” the other says this to Junmyeon while lifting a finger to point in Jongin’s direction. “He’s rude, way too ambitious and he has quite a mouth to go with. I don’t like him,” Kyungsoo repeats sharply while staring at Jongin.

Jongin holds his breath and the other’s intense stare. He feels like the other has trapped him in a small enclosed space and he has no way out except to face him head on.

“Well,” Junmyeon coughs to break the silence, and they both turn to look at him simultaneously. The Coach actually takes a small step back, seemingly in response to the tension channeled over from them to him when he grabbed their attention. “It’s true. Jongin sounds just like you when you first came to me more than seven years ago, Kyungsoo.” Junmyeon smiles and pats the former skater’s back before he strolls ever so casually out of the rink.

Jongin tries not to smile when Kyungsoo’s jaw drops, but he thinks from the way the other glares at him before he rushes to follow after Junmyeon that the other would very much like to murder him.

“So you will still be my Coach right?” he yells after Kyungsoo's back, but all he gets as a response is a raised middle finger before the other turns the corner. Jongin glances over at Minseok who gives him a shrug.

“Is that a yes?”

~

Room 201. Room —

 Jongin gives a double-take when he realises he was heading down the wrong corridor before he pivots on the spot and follow the signs to the normal wards. It is odd that this annex of the hospital is not as busy as he would have expected one of the biggest hospitals in Seoul. 

At times, the white of the walls, the emptiness of the halls and the distinct smell of chemicals in the air scares him — it almost reminds him of bad memories of a time when their family came to get their mother after she passed on.

He picks up his pace and lets out a tiny sigh when he spots in the distance Jongdae waiting for him on a bench.

The other has not noticed him yet, so when he mutters out a soft “hyung” in greeting when he reaches his side the other startles.

“Oh, you’re here,” Jongdae looks up and Jongin is taken aback by how tired his brother looks. “Sit down, Jongin,” the other said with a deep sigh and pats the seat beside his.

“Are you okay, hyung?” he asks, settling down on the bench after taking a glance at the door to his father’s room. “You look like you’ve not slept in awhile… please take care of yourself too.” Jongin knows the National Team had just arrived back from Toronto late last night, and it seems Jongdae had their father admitted right after they touched down and he had stayed up all night to care for him for he does not look like he had any sleep before this.

“I’m fine,” Jongdae dismisses with a wave of his hand before placing it on Jongin’s knee. “Dad is sleeping now, so I wanted to talk to you first… Did he—” the other glances up at him from underneath his fringe. “Did he ever told you about…” he ends up gesturing in mid-air, and Jongin shakes his head at once. He knows what his brother was referring to anyway.

“I wasn’t aware of his condition either,” Jongin murmurs. “What happened during training?” he probes.

Jongdae hangs his head. “I thought after what happened with mom, he wouldn’t hide this from us… I was so, so angry when the doctors told me. And it was stage 3 as well! When was he thinking to tell us? When it is too late?” the other rubs his eyes tiredly.

Jongin stays silent for he shares the same sentiments as his brother. He knows he has not been around his father much these past few years, unlike Jongdae who still stays under the same roof as him, so perhaps that is why the other is taking this piece of news worse than he is. He hopes his brother does not blame himself for not noticing earlier.

“We were at final practice before the friendly with the Maple Leafs the following morning,” Jongdae shares. “And it was like every other session… we did drills and simulated game plays. Dad was at the sidelines with line two when he felt dizzy and before any of us even noticed that he felt unwell, he had already collapsed and he hit his shoulder on the floor pretty hard. You will see later that he has his left arm in a sling… I just—”

Jongin pats Jongdae on the shoulder when the latter turns to him agitatedly. “It’s not your fault, hyung,” he says, giving the other’s shoulder a light squeeze.

“But I—”

“It’s not,” Jongin repeats firmly, cutting Jongdae off, and he holds the look the other gives him. “Don’t make me call Minseok hyung down to talk some sense into you,” he threatens.

Jongdae scoffs and looks down at his feet. “He has already tried,” the other says.

“So why would you think we’re not telling you the truth? It’s not your fault.” Jongin is beginning to sound like a broken record now. “If you still insist, then by that basis, I’m at fault too, so is the team and anyone else who interacts with him daily.” And he can tell from the way Jongdae falls silent that the other has chosen to let it go for now.

“What else did the doctors say?” Jongin asks after a brief pause.

“That he needed a more intensive type of treatment — a higher frequency of chemotherapy and they have suggested to up the dosage of his medication as well, but of course they decided to defer this decision to dad’s regular doctor.”

Jongin nods. That was to be expected, he thinks.

“He cannot return to coach full-time anymore,” Jongdae continues. “The doctors were not that optimistic of his chances when I asked…”

“How long does he have left?” Jongin bites the bullet and asks.

“If we’re lucky, around two years,” the other replies. “Worst case scenario is that it spreads to his other organs, the more vital ones, and it speeds up the process, so it could be a matter of months even.”

Jongin hums. Two years, if he is optimistic. That is not a lot of time left at all. He sighs. The heavy weight in his stomach is making him feel ill. 

Just then, they hear a weak call of “Jongdae” from the gap in the door and they look up. It seems their father is awake.

“You should go talk to him,” Jongdae suggests.

Jongin stands and brushes his hands on the front of his pants. “Okay,” he says. Their meeting is inevitable. He does not know why he feels nervous. Perhaps it is because this would be the first time in a long while that he is coming face to face with his father again. He does not know what to expect; how the other would react to seeing him again after their huge falling out. He gulped and looks down when Jongdae reaches out to squeeze his hand.

“Don’t worry, Jongin. It will be fine,” his brother reassures him.

“What if he yells at me to get out?” he asks.

“He has changed, Jongin.” Jongdae’s words lead him to pause with his hand over the door handle. “You will be okay. If you’re thinking about what he had said to you all those years ago… know that he is not that person anymore. Trust me.” There is only sincerity he sees in his brother’s eyes so he nods at the other’s reassurance.

Even though it makes him uncomfortable, the situation makes it that leaving without seeing his father is out of the question, so he decides to be brave even if it is just for a couple of minutes.

“Jongdae? Where were you— oh .”

Jongin stops by the foot of his father’s bed and bows in respect. A period of awkward silence ensues.

“I suppose your brother has already told you then?” His father says in greeting.

He nods and shifts his weight between his two feet. He does not know where to stand and he dares not look the elder in the eye. The second he saw his father after stepping into the room, Jongin had felt a slight wave of guilt and regret wash over him — the man before him is not the man he once was; he looked aged and weak even.

He cannot help but think himself unfilial, even though the other had caused him so much hurt back in the past. Should he have returned home, even if just for a short while, to check on his father? After all, they would always be bonded by blood, despite standing divided by a split second of animosity.

“Well, what are you doing? Come and sit here.” His father juts his chin in the direction of the chair by his bedside and Jongin startles before doing as he was told. He will take it that this is good progress if his father has not thrown him out of the room yet.

Is Jongdae right? Has he mellowed somewhat over the years? Jongin thinks.

It is awkward when silence falls over the room again as neither knew what else to say. Finally, his father clears his throat and he looks up.

“You still dabbling in that pansy sport?”

Well, one thing that has not changed is how his father views figure skating. Jongin hides his irritation behind a scoff and nods. At least it is no longer anger he sees in the other’s eyes, but more tired resignation.

“Jongdae said you still don’t have a Coach. That true?” He is actually taken by surprise at the other’s question. Does that mean his father has been asking about him even after he had left home?

“Y-Yes, but I’ll have one soon,” he says. “I met him recently and I’m looking forward to learning under him.”

His father sighs. “It has been three years, Jongin. Don’t you think it’s time you let go of this dream of yours? Come back to hockey… it’s a better spo—” The manner in which the other says ‘dream’ irks him so much.

“No, father. I will not give up,” he cuts the other off firmly. “Skating makes me happy like ice hockey never did… why can’t you see that?” The elder is struggling to sit up so Jongin helps hold onto him and positions his pillow between him and the headboard. He hates to admit that it pains him to see the other so vulnerable.

“I know I cannot convince you now,” he rushes out when his father opened his mouth to speak again. “But just you wait, I will prove it to you… I will prove to you that my dream is valid and that I can make it on the world stage.”

His father stares at him in silence until he breaks eye contact himself, but Jongin hopes in the few seconds he had held it that the other was able to see first and foremost his determination, and then hidden behind his strong mask, the quiet plea for the other to trust him and believe in him.

“Then prove it to me soon. As you know, I don’t have that much time left,” his father says. Jongin clenches his jaw and nods silently. “Is your brother outside? I want to speak to him alone.” That is as decent a dismissal as he is going to get so Jongin stands and bows before leaving to go get Jongdae.

“Told you it will be fine right?” his brother asks the second he slides the door close behind him.

“Was expecting worst, yes,” Jongin admits and takes a seat, letting out a sigh. “He wants to speak to you.”

“Okay.” Jongdae hops to his feet. “Wait here for me, alright? We can grab an early lunch together later, unless you still have classes?” He shakes his head, knowing that he will not be able to make his only class of the day at noon, and he lets out a small smile of his own when the other smiles at him.

He is guilty of not spending much time with his brother after he moved out too, so he wants to try to make up for it. Slowly, but surely.

When Jongdae enters the room, Jongin retrieves his phone from his jeans pocket and sends out a text to Junmyeon before opening up YouTube. After speaking to his father earlier, he realises the urgency of making his professional debut. Like the elder had said, he is running out of time to prove his worth.

He types in Kyungsoo’s name in the search bar and scrolls down the list of videos that pops up. His eyes light up when he sees a fan compilation of some of Kyungsoo's famous moves and he quickly clicks on it.

He wants the former World and Olympic champion to be his Coach. That is what he had texted Junmyeon too, in hopes that the other will help him convince Kyungsoo to come onboard. If Kyungsoo was unconvinced by his skills during the ‘trial’ yesterday, then he wants to have another shot at showing him what he is capable of… or not. He gulps when he sees Kyungsoo launching into a quadruple lutz before combining it with a triple toe loop.

He did it with such perfection too.

Jongin unabashedly tweaks his search keywords to look up triple jumps instead. Perhaps he should start from a level of jumps more realistic. He really hopes he gets to skate in front of Kyungsoo again so he commits to memory all the different combinations the other uses habitually.

He pauses when the autoplay function leads him to a behind the scenes interview with Kyungsoo, and to his surprise, he sees Chanyeol in the background laughing at something Baekhyun and Junmyeon were saying. The smile on Kyungsoo’s face is so wide and bright as he watches the trio, it really brings him on par with the Sun, and Jongin cannot help but feel sad as he compares this old Kyungsoo to the bitter man in the wheelchair he has seen recently.

He does not think Kyungsoo would ever smile that brilliantly again, but he hopes the other would heal as time goes by and plug the emptiness in his heart. Who knows? Maybe he could even play a part too and help the other’s friends in their bid to get him to look forward and no longer back.

He pauses when the phone in his hand buzzes and a text message appears in a drop down bar over his paused video.

[From: Junmyeon Hyung | 11:17am]

It did not seem like a straight out no to me

Let me see if I can speak to him again… 

but he has been rejecting my calls since last night.

If you want an official yes, I suggest you try to seek him out yourself

Good luck!! (づ￣ ³￣)づ

Well, that is not much help, Jongin thinks. He sighs and goes back to watching Kyungsoo's old videos, wondering when he will get to see him again.  

~

“I’m so glad to hear that you’re picking yourself up again, Soo. After all the months we have failed… Joohyun tells me this change was brought about by a boy?”

Kyungsoo scoffs and looks away from Yixing’s teasing expression to glare at Joohyun sitting on the surgeon’s desk. The psychologist gives him an innocent look before giggling into her palm, and he seriously contemplates throwing one of his shoes at her. Although, he thinks she will probably scratch him with her perfectly manicured fingers so he resists the urge to spare himself of the pain he knows will surely come with retaliation.

“There is no boy. I don’t know what you are saying,” he rolls his eyes and hauls himself up onto the treatment table with the help of Yixing. He knows they are referring to Jongin, but he does not understand why they are insinuating what they are insinuating. There is nothing more in the way he sees Jongin. He doubts there will ever be. Subconsciously, his hand comes up to rest on his necklace, fingers fiddling with it out of habit. “I’m trying out this new treatment because I want to, and because you two have been begging me for the longest time. That is all there is to it.” 

When Yixing gives him a look, one that shows he does not quite believe him but will drop it for now, Kyungsoo sighs and lies down as Joohyun helps arrange his legs in a more comfortable position.

“His name is Jongin? The one you agreed to coach, right? Junmyeon told me,” Yixing pats his shoulder. “Heard he is younger and quite the handsome one. A big fan of yours too.” The surgeon steps towards his drawers and rummages in it carefully.

Kyungsoo sees Joohyun sitting up a little straighter then and she wriggles her eyebrows at him. He scoffs. “Okay, hold up. I’ve not agreed to coach him yet… I’ve no idea why Junmyeon told you I did. He was atrocious when I saw him skate. I think even your niece skates better than him!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Soo,” Yixing chuckles. “Ziyu’s only ten. Surely, there is no comparison.”

“That is exactly my point! ” Kyungsoo throws his hands up in the air.

The mention of Jongin reminds him of the text message he had received just a half hour ago, when Junmyeon had enquired if he could start taking Jongin through on-ice training on Monday. He had pointedly ignored the message; like all the other calls he had left unanswered from last night. He was pretty sure he had made himself clear that day that he no longer wants to take Jongin under his wings.

He feels a little bad since he had gotten the other guy’s hopes up only to let him down now, but he is just being realistic after watching the other skate. Jongin has no chance to make it professionally.

“I thought we talked about this, Soo,” Joohyun says. “This is not all about him. This step forward is about you too! Give him a chance. You were horrible when you started out too anyways.”

Now, with so many people constantly talking about it, it pushes Kyungsoo closer and closer to the edge — to agreeing on something he thinks he might regret in the future.

The psychologist jumps to sit on Yixing’s office chair and rolls it towards the table he is on so she could lean forward and prop her elbows and face on it. “Also, imagine seeing a handsome guy train in front of you every day,” she says with a dreamy sigh. “It has been some time since I’ve seen a pretty boy take the ice. It’s the dream job for many of us… I will be so envious!”

“I agree,” Yixing's chimes in as he returns to their side and places a metal tray with some medical equipment down on the table. “It will be vastly different from what we see in the operating theatre every day, that is for sure…” The other then taps on Kyungsoo’s belly lightly, causing him to flinch. “I need you to take off your top and roll over.”

Kyungsoo could barely keep up with how many turns this conversation is taking. He sheds his shirt at once while eyeing Joohyun. “One, don’t you prefer girls over guys? Why are you drooling over Jongin? Two, what do you mean by it has been some time I have seen a pretty boy take the ice ? I used to skate until recently… are you saying I’m not good-looking enough for you?” He gives her a mock glare.

Joohyun takes the shirt he hands over and giggles, tapping on his belly like Yixing had done earlier, only this time there is no shirt separating the contact. Kyungsoo yelps and covers his belly shyly at once.

“You have a cute tummy, Soo,” she tries to give it a poke again and giggles when he manages to fend off her advances by rolling over like what Yixing had instructed. And that is all she has to say in reply to him, which makes him pout inwardly because does she really not find him good-looking?

“I had abs before the accident, need I remind you? Why are you here again?” Kyungsoo asks exasperatedly. “Why is she here?” this he directs to Yixing when the other sits on the table and smacks a small piece of cotton pad over an area of skin around his lower spine. Yixing tries to draw his pants down further to make it easier for him to administer the jab, but Kyungsoo stops him with an embarrassed cry. Joohyun giggles at the side.

“It will be slightly painful even if it is the first jab, Soo, bear with it, alright?” Yixing ignores his question and pours gel over the pad. Kyungsoo grumbles in response and begrudging allows Joohyun to hold his hand when she cries out “I’m here for moral support!” 

“The side effect of this differs for each person so I may have to observe you for some time before we decide on adjusting the dosage,” Yixing says.

“Just get on with it,” Kyungsoo grunts. “I can take it.”

Yixing pauses just for a second to give him a chance to back out, but when he remains silent the other unwraps a needle from its packaging and prepares it.

Kyungsoo knows this treatment is experimental. Yixing had made it really clear to him that there was only half a chance it would work — that paired with intensive rehabilitation, he should be able to kick start his motor nerves in the lower half of his body in a couple of months’ time. It was a new treatment method that originated from the West only recently, with only a handful of success cases.

But at least it will be a step in the right direction.

It hurts the second the needle pierces his skin, even more so when Yixing pushes the handle and injects whatever translucent liquid it contained within it in him. Kyungsoo tries his hardest to hold it in, but he knows from the way Joohyun squeezes his hand back and pats the back of his palm in a comforting manner that the pain he feels shows through his face.

“All done,” Yixing quickly fixes a cooling pad over the bite and massages the area. It is over as soon as it started. “You okay?” he asks as he helps Kyungsoo sit up on the table. At least Kyungsoo is grateful that Yixing knows not to drag it out.

“Yeah.” He stretches his waist and winces. It hurts more than he had expected. “Is it normal to feel a little dizzy already?” he asks. There are white specks in his vision that only goes away when he shakes his head, and even then, he cannot shake it too hard or he feels like his whole body is tilting off balance again.

He had not expected a side effect to kick in that fast. Apparently Yixing too because he frowns and proceeds to jot down some notes on his computer.

“It could be because of the metaxalone. Don’t worry about it. Sometimes that is just how the human body reacts to foreign bodies,” the doctor says. “Let me know if the dizzy spells persist. Also, no going elsewhere after this… I advise you to go right back home and rest now. I was hoping we could squeeze in the first session of therapy after this, but I think it is too soon.”

“If only I did not have patients lined up to see me after this, I would volunteer to grab lunch with you and drive you home,” Joohyun says.

“Me too,” Yixing nods at him apologetically.

“I’m totally fine, I can take care of myself,” Kyungsoo reassures them. In the end, it takes too much effort just to get into his wheelchair that Yixing has to carry him down from the table. “I’m just feeling a little weaker now, but I bet I will be alright after a good lunch,” he says.

They still look unconvinced so he wheels himself to the door and smiles. “You will let me know when to come in again?” he asks Yixing who nods at him, while Joohyun helps him get the door.

“I’ll try to come by your place tonight after my scheduled operations to check on you,” Yixing says. “Call any one of us if you feel unwell at home before then, okay? Don’t think that you’re bothering us,” the other instructs.

Kyungsoo hums despite knowing that he has no intention to call at all, especially now with the knowledge that his two friends have packed schedules for the rest of the day. He follows after Joohyun and the door closes after them as they leave Yixing to prepare to see his next patients.

“Your driver is coming to get you, right?” Joohyun stops when they reach the lift lobby where they have to separate for the psychologist’s office is on the other end of the same floor. Kyungsoo does not miss the way she takes a subtle glance down at her watch.

“Yes, I’ll give him another call when I’m downstairs. Just go already… you don’t have to wait with me. I’ll see you again,” he nudges her in the direction of her office and moves forward when the lift arrives on their floor. Joohyun seems to be thinking twice about something, perhaps if she should follow after him, but she eventually hums and waves him goodbye. It is when the doors close that Kyungsoo allows his hand and the smile on his face to drop.

He is beyond tired. If this is only the first treatment, he can only dread the upcoming ones. He would love to be able to take a nap now.

Kyungsoo groans when his phone rings in timely fashion and the name Junmyeon hyung pops up on the screen. Just when he was wishing for some rest…

The other must be calling since he had not replied to his text messages earlier. Kyungsoo decides he does not have the energy to fight this battle now and ultimately lets the call ring on until Junmyeon drops it. Perhaps he can ignore the topic of training Jongin until they get tired of waiting for him to agree?

Yes. He nods to himself. He should just ignore Jongin altogether, yes. They will get the message if he keeps his distance and silence right? When the lift reaches the ground floor, he pockets his phone and wheels himself to the main doors, proud of himself for settling on a decision.

He does not expect to hear someone yell out his name in the next second and attract the attention of everyone in the vicinity.

“Kyungsoo hyung!”

He recognises the voice at once — one so uplifting and cheery, and a rush of dizziness strikes him again when he turns around quickly to spot Jongin and— is that Jongdae too? in the distance.

It was Jongin who had shouted and who is now waving madly at him. The other’s excitement is obvious, which puzzles Kyungsoo because why is he so happy to see me? Jongdae looks equally lost at his brother’s enthusiasm as Jongin loops an arm around him and practically drags him forward in Kyungsoo’s direction.

Oh .

And to think he had just decided he was going to ignore Jongin.

Without hesitation, and unabashedly, Kyungsoo pretends he had not just made direct eye contact with the other and furiously wheels himself to the hospital’s main doors at once.

“Out of the way,” he says in a gruff voice, even scaring a young couple to jump out of his path at the speed he was rolling forward.

“K-Kyungsoo hyung? Hyung!” He hears Jongin’s confusion at his reaction, and then the other’s panic truly sets in. “Wait for me, hyung!” Kyungsoo almost smiles to himself in victory — he is ten feet away from the glass doors of freedom. He knows this is childish behaviour from him. The scene probably looks amusing to onlookers as well. Freedom!! 

But then strong hands clamp down on the handles behind his shoulders and Kyungsoo wails internally when he finds himself unable to move an inch forward from how stubbornly Jongin is holding him back.

“Gotcha, hyung.”

~

Jongin cannot quite believe his luck. Just as he was throwing out guesses in his mind as to where he can possibly find Kyungsoo and pressure him into agreeing to be his Coach — he is pretty sure the other will not return to the rink now that he knows Jongin uses it almost every day, and he feels sad the other is even ignoring Junmyeon’s messages — he sees Kyungsoo exit the lift on the ground floor.

“K-Kyungsoo hyung? Hyung!” The sudden yell that leaves his lips startles himself even, but he is just so happy to see the said man. Oh my god. Oh my god, it really is him! He quickly loops an arm around Jongdae’s and shuffles them forward.

“Why are you acting this way, Jongin-ah?” He can hear his brother’s confusion in the question, so he glances down for a second. “And why is Kyungsoo running away from us?”

Running away? Jongin’s head snaps up so fast he gets momentary whiplash and he finds that the other is right — Kyungsoo is attempting to wheel himself in the opposite direction from them, as fast as he possibly can. What?! Jongin knows he cannot let this chance slip now. Who knows when he will be able to find the other again?

“K-Kyungsoo hyung? Hyung! Wait for me, hyung!” Jongin drops his brother’s arm as he practically sprints over to grab onto Kyungsoo's wheelchair, bringing the latter to a grinding halt. He almost feels guilty when he sees Kyungsoo's shoulders slump and the man let out a small sigh he probably thinks Jongin will not notice. Kyungsoo also looks extremely tired today, for reasons unknown to him.

“Gotcha, hyung.” Nonetheless, he beams down at him like his primary job is to radiate sunshine. “I was calling you earlier… did you not hear and see me?” It was a rhetorical question. Jongin knows Kyungsoo had ignored him point-blank earlier, but he was just being polite by not calling him out for it. Even Jongdae, who joins them now, eyes his friend weirdly.

Kyungsoo is spared from having to answer when his brother speaks. “Here to see Joohyun, Soo?” Jongdae asks.

“U-Uhm, yes,” Kyungsoo clears his throat and looks everywhere but at Jongin. “Actually, no… I was here to see Yixing. She just happened to be around too.” He does not share more and Jongdae does not ask. Meanwhile, Jongin is left to look back and forth between the pair because he does not know who they were talking about. 

He realises he has been smiling dumbly at Kyungsoo all these while because he is just so happy to see him, so he quickly stops himself when Jongdae gives him a weird look. “We’re done now. I was just about to head back home to rest,” Kyungsoo says.

Jongin is all set to panic again when the other grabs onto his wheelchair’s push rings, as if he intends to leave. He has not spent enough time with Kyungsoo to convince him to be his Coach yet!

“Oh, Jongin and I were just about to head down to the cafeteria for lunch. Do you want to join us?”

Jongdae’s offer comes in a timely fashion and Jongin counts his fortunes.

“I think I’ll just—”

“Come on, the cafeteria is this way,” his brother does not give Kyungsoo time to say no, instead he takes control of the push handles and leads them away from the hospital’s main doors. And it is at that moment that Jongin really wants to hug Jongdae to death, out of pure appreciation of course. Perhaps his brother had sensed his reluctance to let the other go earlier and was helping him out?

“Aren’t you coming, Jongin?” Jongdae calls over his shoulders to the boy standing frozen by the entrance and he laughs when it snaps the younger out of his reverie. Jongin practically sprints over to them like a madman next, and when he catches Kyungsoo looking at him, he ducks his head shyly. “Eat all you want later, Soo. My treat!” Jongdae says. “It has been some time since we have caught up.”

“Sure,” the other says in resignation. He must realise now that there is no avoiding Jongin.

~

“Has Minseok hyung told you I got myself a Coach already, hyung?”

Jongdae places down his spoon quickly and swallows his mouthful of rice. Jongin can feel Kyungsoo stiffening beside him and he mutters a quick prayer for himself. He is about to do something absolutely crazy and he can only pray it ends well.

“Really?! After all these time?” His brother wipes his mouth with a napkin and stares at him with wide eyes. “I’m so happy for you, Jongin… who is it? Anyone I know?”

“Kyungsoo hyung’s my Coach starting Monday,” he blurts out. He does not feel sorry when his statement causes Kyungsoo to choke and spit out his food, although he feels the urge to laugh when Jongdae does not duck out of the way fast enough and he gets sprayed with rice and meat. Exactly like those cliche drama moments.

“What?” His brother takes a deep breath and wipes his face clean, teeth gritted as he tries not to lose his temper, not at Kyungsoo but at Jongin. Clearly, Jongdae is taking what he had said as a joke.

“It’s true!” Jongin insists unabashedly, hand reaching over to thump on Kyungsoo’s back repeatedly as the other chokes even more, waving his hand about desperately trying to voice his denial. “Junmyeon hyung told me he offered. He even watched me skate the other day,” he says. “I promise to work really hard and show father just what I’m capable of. I know I don’t have that much time left.” He conveniently leaves out everything else that had happened, everything else the other had said after he had watched him skate.

Jongdae visibly softens when he mentions their father and he nods at Jongin before turning to Kyungsoo with a small smile. Oddly enough, the latter has also tamed somewhat. Although, he jerks away from Jongin’s hand to get him to stop hitting him and glares at it like he wishes it catches fire.

“Is he speaking the truth?” his brother asks Kyungsoo. “Did you really tell Junmyeon you will train him?”

“I did, yes,” the other starts off by admitting, “but I also said I—”

He is stopped by one of Jongin’s hands going up quickly to cover his mouth. Jongin laughs awkwardly when Jongdae frowns at him. The latter probably finds his behaviour odd.

“I thought he was about to cough in your face again,” he quickly comes up with an excuse, but then he lets out a loud yelp and withdraws his hand because did Kyungsoo really just bite me?! He glances at the said man with a pout on his face, only to find the other glaring back at him already.

Jongin does not know why his next thought is that he finds Kyungsoo attractive, even in this moment — with his furrowed brows, dark eyes and thick lips curled up at the edges (menacingly). He coughs unnecessarily and hurriedly breaks eye contact, willing the beat of his heart to stop its sudden dance. 

This is not the time or place for this.

“Thank you so much, Soo-yah,” Jongdae says, immediately dissipating the growing tension between Kyungsoo and Jongin. “On behalf of Jongin, I say thank you for agreeing to be his Coach. This kid has suffered for a really long time and I hope he suffers no more. He deserves to be happy again. In fact, this family deserves some good news at last.”

Jongin’s heart warms at his brother’s words and he lets out a soft “hyung” in response. Jongdae smiles at him and squeezes the hand he reaches out across the table top.

Kyungsoo must have caught onto the dampened mood because he clears his throat to ask, “i-is everything alright with you guys?” He looks between the pair of brothers in his own quiet but concerned way. Again, Jongin avoids eye contact with the other at all cost lest he feels the weird feeling in his chest rise again. He is still trying to come to terms with what it really means.

“Not really, no…” Jongdae hesitates, but a small nod from Jongin encourages him to go on. “We just learned our father has stage 3 cancer. That is why we are here actually… he is admitted in this hospital.”

Kyungsoo looks taken aback. “Oh… I-I’m sorry to hear that,” he even glances at Jongin after he offers Jongdae a sad look. This time, Jongin looks up because he hears the drastic change in Kyungsoo’s tone. It seemingly puts him at ease, but he cannot read what it is in the other’s expression.

“We’re okay,” Jongdae sighs. “It’s just a bit hard to take at the moment because it is like mom all over again… but we will be fine,” he says this like he is trying to convince himself that everything will be alright.

“We’ll be fine,” Jongin repeats what his brother had just said in a reassuring manner and the other gives him a small smile in gratitude. Years ago, he had been too young to deal with their mother’s condition. But he is not too young anymore.

“That’s why Jongin said he does not have a lot of time left to prove to our father that him switching to figure skating is worth it,” Jongdae adds. “So thank you so much for helping him reach for his dream, Soo. I really owe you one.”

A soft “oh” is the only sound Kyungsoo lets out as the other shares this bit of information. Jongin holds his breath because it seems like Kyungsoo wants to say more.

“But I’ve not a-agreed to train Jongin yet,” Kyungsoo glances over at him briefly as his voice wavers. 

But because the other no longer sounds as cold and adamant that he does not want to be Jongin’s Coach, and because his eyes seem to have softened considerably, the pair of brothers knows that there is hope.

Jongin latches onto the only positive he hears at once. “ Yet !” he claps his hands enthusiastically and beams at Kyungsoo who stares at him funny. “He said yet ,” he tells Jongdae before squealing to himself. He knows he has come a long way with this progress and he cannot help but cross into Kyungsoo’s personal space and give him a tight hug all of a sudden.

“Thank you!” Jongin squeals and swings them back and forth repeatedly. He feels Kyungsoo’s hands on his arms trying to peel him away from him and to quell his excitement, but he only stops and lets the other go when he feels the body in his embrace grow strangely weak.

“Soo? You okay?” Jongdae leans forward and asks while Jongin stares at the other worriedly. The said man has his eyes pinched tightly shut and there is a look of discomfort on his face, which makes Jongin feel guilty.

Did I make him sick by shaking him too hard?

He knows he can be over-affectionate at times; he should not have crossed the line.

Jongin only lets out the breath of air he has been holding when Kyungsoo opens his eyes slowly and nods gently in Jongdae’s direction. “I’m fine,” he says. “Just felt dizzy for a moment.”

“I’m sorry,” Jongin blurts out at once.

The other dismisses his apology easily with a wave of his hand, and Jongdae seems to take Kyungsoo’s word for it, for he does not pursue the topic. But throughout the remainder of their meal, Jongin cannot help but take concerned glances to his side.

~

Why is it so warm? 

Kyungsoo lets out a soft groan and tries to move away from the heat surrounding his body, but he finds he does not have the energy to do so.  Like a persistent bug, the discomfort sticks. He should have known the dizzy spells he had after the treatment were just a start.

For a second, he considers reaching for his phone on his bedside table to text either Yixing or Joohyun, but he remembers they have more important things to deal with than wait on him, so he lets his hand drop to his side. Even peeling his eyes open is a tough ask, but at least he can make out the sound of Gominnie whining and his wet nose prodding at his hand. 

He whispers weakly, “I-I’m okay,” in a bid to reassure the puppy. But his little one has always been smart. Gominnie lets out several barks as if to call him out for the lie, while Kyungsoo lets out another groan. His ears hurt too.

Maybe he will feel better if he stays still and be patient. Yixing did say he would try to stop by after his scheduled operations… so help will come. Eventually.

He furrows his brows when his doorbell goes off, thinking he must have misheard the sound, but he gets the confirmation that there is indeed someone at the door when Gominnie lets out a bark and dashes out of his bedroom to investigate at once.

Too bad he is neither in the mood nor in the state to entertain the uninvited visitor. It cannot be the mailman because he is not expecting any deliveries. He can only pray he or she does not come with ill intentions; hopefully not a robber. If not, at least he has Gominnie to depend on as his last line of defence right?

Who is he kidding? That puppy is all fluff.

Gominnie has not stopped barking at the door because apparently the visitor has now given up on using the doorbell and was knocking hard on the door.

Who the hell is so persistent? Kyungsoo lets out another groan and tries to turn his head so he can at least hide in his pillow. “G-Go away,” he mutters. He does not hear Gominnie stop barking, neither does he hear his main door clicking open before there is a subsequent rush of footsteps.

“Oh my god, Kyungsoo hyung!”

He does make out a worried voice though, and through his tired, lidded eyes, an outline of a person that looks oddly familiar. The hand palming his forehead and cheeks, although adding to the icky warmth he feels, is more than welcome to remain. The edges of Kyungsoo’s lips curl up into a small smile.

“Chanyeol?” he calls out a little hesitantly. No wonder Gominnie is not reacting negatively to the other’s presence, he thinks.

The fingers moving his fringe out of the way of his eyes stop abruptly when he says the name and he frowns when he hears a sharp inhale. “C-Chan—” he struggles to follow the retreating hand over his face, but the second he lets out another groan he feels fingers smooth over the skin between his brows, as if to comfort him.

“Hey, I-I’m here,” the other replies. “Don’t move… you’re sick. I’ll take care of you, okay?”

A smile returns to Kyungsoo’s face as he hums and settles back into a more comfortable position.

“You’re burning up.” He has missed the way the other used to his cheeks — touches so soft and tender, and like he holds the world in Kyungsoo’s face. Kyungsoo delights in his memories with his eyes still firmly shut; mind and body too tired to function. “I’m going to call Jongdae hyung and get you a cold towel… I’ll be right back.”

Before he can make a noise of protest, the dip in the bed beside him disappears, signaling the other has left the room. Just the loss of his presence itself leaves a big hole and it makes Kyungsoo’s heart ache.

He waits in silence, every cell in his body tortured not only by the side effects of the treatment in the morning, but also by the seemingly long wait to feel complete again.

“What happened to you, hyung?”

Kyungsoo smiles when the other settles beside him once again.

“I knew something was off back in the cafeteria.” A hand smooths over the skin on his forehead gently before a cool towel is placed over it. “Thank god I came to check on you. Who would have known you would be suffering alone like this?”

“Stop talking,” Kyungsoo whispers. He lifts his hand to catch the other’s when he removes it from his forehead. “I missed you,” he mouths against the back of the warm hand. “I missed the happy us.”

The silence in the room after his admission is deafening.

“N-No, don’t go,” he starts to panic when the hand trapped in his makes to let go and he holds on even tighter; more desperately. “Don’t leave me again,” he begs.

“Hyung, I’m not—”

“Please, Chanyeol-ah…”

“Okay, okay. Shhh… I’m not leaving,” the other finally lets out a sigh before Kyungsoo feels fingers wiping at the corner of his eyes. “Don’t cry, hyung.” He had not even realised that there were tears welling up in his eyes. “I’m not used to seeing you cry. I hope to see you smile again… it has been too long.”

He wants to reply and he wants to let the other know that he will try to smile for him again, but the pull of sleep is too strong and he finds himself grappling to stay in the now.

“Why is your body temperature not going down?” the other mutters to himself and uses his remaining hand to feel Kyungsoo’s cheeks before sliding it down to his neck. Kyungsoo’s body lets out an inadvertent shudder at once.

“Why are you not lying down, Chanyeol-ah?”

A pause.

“Uhm… I-I don’t think that is a good idea,” the other finally squeaks.

Kyungsoo whines and tugs on the hand he is holding. It still hurts to try to open his eyes. “Is it because you don’t love me anymore?” he pouts and complains in a cute voice. “You don’t want to cuddle like we used to?” he adds on when the other remains silent. “Kyungsoo sad now—”

“Okay, wow. This is something else altogether…” the other cuts him off by whispering to himself. “I think you’re very sick, Kyungsoo hyung. I should call for help, but Jongdae hyung is not answering… I don’t know what to do,” he addresses Kyungsoo again

“I’m sick?” he asks. “That’s why you don’t want to cuddle, Chanyeol-ah?”

“Uhm… y-yeah. Okay, let’s just go with that.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo whispers sadly. “So if I get better, I get to hug and kiss you again?” He frowns when the other makes a sudden sound, like he had just inhaled too much air in one go and it had made him choke and erupt into a coughing fit.

“I-I—”

“Is that a no?” Kyungsoo asks. The other does not sound like he is anywhere close to stopping.

“I don’t think you will want to hug and kiss me, hyung,” the other says eventually.

Kyungsoo frowns at this, because to him, there is nothing else in the world he wants more. “Why not—”

“You’re not yourself right now… you will regret it the minute you wake up in the morning and remember this.”

If he felt any better then, he will be flailing in bed and throwing a petty tantrum because he is not getting what he wants. Instead, Kyungsoo settles for a loud groan.

At once, the other mistakes it for a groan caused by physical pain and hurriedly palms his face again. “Why? What’s happening? Are you in pain, hyung?”

Kyungsoo cannot be bothered to reply.

He hears the other edge closer to the brink of panic because he is not as responsive compared to a few minutes prior. But just then, his phone goes off and he hears the other fumble while attempting to pick up the call from the bedside table.

“H-Hello? This is Kyungsoo hyung’s phone,” the other greets.

Kyungsoo cannot make out who the person on the other line is, but what he can make out is the rapid-fire mumbling of the man standing beside his bed now. Surely it is the latter describing the state of Kyungsoo’s health to the caller and asking what he should do next.

“Uh huh… okay. Thanks, doc. Let me try that now and I’ll let you know if his body temperature goes down. Bye.”

There is a temporary silence in the room after the other puts the call down, but he is spurred into action when Kyungsoo lets out a sudden grunt.

“Okay, I need to fill up the tub first. Come on, puppy… come help me.” A strong tug of his hand frees the other from Kyungsoo’s grasp and Kyungsoo lets out a sad whine when the other leaves his side. Gominnie lets out a bark and jumps onto the bed instead of following instructions. “Okay, fine. You stay there and take care of him. Bark if you need me.”

He does not know how long he is left alone with Gominnie, but it feels like a decade has passed before the other returns and picks him up. Kyungsoo must have let out a soft confused sound because the other chuckles as he carries him away. He also loves the way he is able to feel the strong heartbeat of the other in his position; pressed up against a hard yet comfortable chest.

“You’re comfortable,” he hums.

The bathroom. Kyungsoo realises the other has brought him to the bathroom when he hears a tap running before he is placed on the edge of the sink, sitting in an upright position, but supported by steady hands of course.

“Your friend… the doctor who called earlier—” he hears the other’s hesitance through the short pauses interspersed in his speech, and he feels his shyness when careful fingers trace the front of his shirt and slowly it. “He cannot come over just yet because he is still finishing up at the hospital… but he told me to put you in a cold bath because your body is in a very dangerous state now.”

Kyungsoo lets out a soft noise when his shirt is finally removed. The other need not bother with removing his pants though, because he does not have the habit of wearing pants to sleep; preferring to only dress himself with airy boxers.

“Uhm… I’m going to pick you up again, alright?” If only he had the energy to open his eyes, he would have witnessed the furious blush settled over the other’s cheeks because of his current state of undress. Kyungsoo can only sigh and rub his face against the other’s chest when strong arms wrap around him again. So comfortable. “Hyung, this might hurt a little, but bear with it, okay? The doctor said so.”

The comfort is short-lived when he feels himself being lowered into the tub. The cold does not bother him yet when it is just his legs that are submerged, but when he is finally seated, the pain comes. He cries out at once, which sets off Gominnie into a row of barks.

“I’m sorry, hyung. I cannot let you out yet.” The hands on his shoulders, holding him down because he finds himself flailing automatically the second the cold water registers in him, stay firm. “Stay still. You’re hurting yourself. Please…”

“Chanyeol, stop,” Kyungsoo lets out a whine when he jerks his elbow against the marbled surface of the tub and a sharp pain bursts through his nerves. But he fully stills only when there is movement behind him and strong arms come down to clamp around his entire upper body, holding him in a back hug position. The other must have gotten into the tub with him.

“It’s going to feel better soon, hyung,” a soft voice whispers in his ear. Kyungsoo whimpers and lets his head drop, eventually settling his face against the side of the other’s neck. “I’m here, shhh…” He feels the arms around him loosen since he is no longer struggling, and he feels them gliding over the rings hanging off his necklace for a second.

Then there is a touch, one so soft, on his forehead afterwards.

“D-Don’t leave me again,” he whispers. 

If only he was not already halfway to the realm of sleep, he would have picked up that it was not the work of fingers but something else.

~

Kyungsoo wakes up late into the morning, when the sun shines clearly through the half-drawn curtains, bathing his spot on the bed with gentle warmth. He groans and rolls over slowly, feeling like an absolute train wreck.

What happened last night? he asks himself.

Too bad Gominnie offers no help in jogging his memory. When Kyungsoo tries to sit up, the puppy pops his head up from where he is curled on a spot beside his feet and crawls over to nose at him, letting out soft intermittent whines.

The clock on his bedside table tells him it is close to noon, but what catches his attention next is the glass of water and a bowl of what looks like porridge (or rather, a bad attempt at making porridge) beside the clock.

Kyungsoo grabs the glass and downs the drink at once, letting out a satisfied sound after his throat no longer feels like it is bleeding dry on the inside. But it is the bowl of porridge that makes him pause. There is still a trace of warmth left when he touches the bowl, which can only mean that whoever had prepared it had done so not too long ago. He quickly picks up his phone in hopes that it will provide him some answers.

And it is a note he finds pinned on the display after he swipes up (he does not bother with setting passwords) that has him groaning because he finally remembers.

If you’re reading this now, it must mean that you’re awake and I’m no longer there haha

I’m not sure how much of last night you remember, but you were very sick, hyung.

I hope you’re feeling better now! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

The porridge I cooked doesn’t look all that appetising huh?

Would you believe me if I said it’s only because I had to rush off to class?

(；一_一)

Anyways… you don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to!

(But I made it with a lot of love, so would you at least taste it? Hehe)

I’ll see you around, hyung

Jongin ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

Kyungsoo slaps a hand over his face and lets out another groan — a longer one this time, attributed to the embarrassment he feels. His memories of last night are coming back to him, like an auto playing slideshow in his mind.

His words and his childish behaviour, including him clinging onto the younger’s hand. Kyungsoo shudders. Jongin undressing him and backhugging him while he was submerged in a cold bath…

He was the picture of vulnerability last night. “How am I to face him now?” he groans, smoothing down the front of his shirt. The other must have helped dry his body and put his shirt on after he fell asleep.

But the worst thing Kyungsoo realises only now is that he had called Jongin Chanyeol, and the other actually took on the alias for his sake! Jongin had no reason to do it, but he did.

Even after all the harsh words Kyungsoo had said to him, all the cold glares and him rudely turning down each and every one of Jongin’s pleas for him to train him over the past week or so… the other does not resent him; he did not leave him to suffer alone.

It was out of the kindness of Jongin’s own heart that he had come to check on Kyungsoo after he suspected the latter was not feeling well. Also, Jongin did not need to stay the night to care for him, but he did… he even attempted to make him a get well soon breakfast.

“Why must he be so nice?” he asks Gominnie, while the puppy his head to the side in response. He picks up the bowl of porridge and gives its contents a good stir. It does not smell as bad as it looks, so he bravely pops the spoon in his mouth, only to pause and make a sound of pleasant surprise. “It just makes it so much harder to say no this time,” he adds over another mouthful.

Gominnie lets out a short bark and Kyungsoo does not know why it sounds like the puppy is telling him not to say no then. Perhaps it is the voice in his own head playing tricks on him, but every second that passes thaws his heart, little by little until a soft smile lingers on his face.

~