A/N: This chapter is heavily based on my own experiences with anxiety and depression, if broaching those topics is uncomfortable to you please be warned.

For Rebecca, the last few weeks had been fantastic. She and Jooheon met up whenever they each had time – mostly when she was not working. There was an undeniable connection between them and they knew that they were on a limited time frame to actually spend with one another. She tried not to think too much about how to define their relationship. Neither had made overtly romantic moves to one another, they had not even kissed yet, but they both still labelled their outings as “dates”. Jooheon was a consummate gentleman in every way, and she could not help but be swept off her feet by it. Unless they were out at night he wore his face mask, but she was not about to complain if it made him comfortable.

It was nice to spend time with someone new for Rebecca. She had her own friends but they were often busy with work so mostly communicated online. That, and she normally found going out anxiety inducing and avoided it at all possible costs. Something about Jooheon put her at complete ease, and there was something nice about showing off her favourite locations in the city to an outsider.

It was exciting and distracting in the most enjoyable way. It was likely thanks to this diversion that Rebecca did not realise she had missed almost 5 days of her medications until it was far too late. It started when her script ran out the week earlier; she had woken up and prepared to take her dosage as usual only to notice it was empty. With a plan to go to the Doctor after work, she went about her job as normal. Of course that plan was discarded in favour of having Jooheon over for a home cooked meal instead. It went completely out of her mind after that.

The lightheadedness and nausea was dismissed easily in the first few days, but on this particular Friday Rebecca woke up with a splitting headache and her heart beating out of her chest. A quick message was sent to her prospective clients for the day informing them that she was unwell and apologizing for the inconvenience. A few minutes passed with no reply from anyone and the anxiety bubbled up within her before she could stop it. Rebecca felt her vision tunnel as each breath became harder than the last.

On some level she recognised the anxiety attack for what it was, it was a familiar foe although one she had not encountered for a long time. In the moment though, her brain was not listening to reason and logic. It felt like she was going to die, or faint, or faint and then die. Rebecca remembered her psychologist’s advice and focused on breathing (despite how impossible the task felt). Looking around the room, she identified three different objects and mentally described them. Next she touched three different textures – her sheets, her own hair and the wall. By the time she had finished the attack had calmed down and her breaths came easier.

Rebecca was left with the exhausted emptiness that she was used to following anxiety attacks and tried to think why it would have hit her so suddenly. There was nothing that she had been stressing about recently and she was confused as to where this came from. It hit her – her medications!

“. !” The realization had her breaking down crying in an instant. She would need to get a script, which meant going to the Doctor, which meant explaining that she had accidentally forgot, and the Doctor might judge her and think that she was stupid and might say no and then she would be screwed -. Rebecca tried to stop the compounding thoughts and took a shuddering breath. I should have recognised the signs. She had been on her medications for years and was smarter than this.

I can handle this. Determinedly she stood, wobbling a little as vertigo hit her. Another side effect. Wobbling to her draw of paperwork, the translator sifted through and found her prescription in the hopes of getting the doctor’s number from it. Once she read the script though, she found that she still had one repeat left. At least that was one less step. At the same time, the notion of leaving her home and going to a pharmacy was too much.

All Rebecca wanted to do was dive back under the covers and hide from everything that was outside, but that would not solve her current problem and would only make things worse. Once again it was hard to use her rational mind to convince her panicked brain into calming down. This is why I use the bloody medication. She thought to herself. The familiar ringtone of her mobile snapped her out of those thoughts, and with the sinking feeling that she was about to be yelled at by a client she picked it up.

It was Jooheon’s name on the screen though, and the relief that bought her almost made her miss the call. Hurriedly pressing answer before it rang out she breathed out a hello meekly. Hopefully it was not too obvious that she was crying.

“Rebecca! Are you ok?” Well , there went that hope. For a split second Rebecca was going to lie and say that everything was alright but the truth came out when she spoke.

“No, I’m not. I am not ok. I missed too many days of my meds and now I am freaking out and feel awful and I might throw up. I need to get more but I cannot go outside right now and I am so scared. I am sorry, I am being stupid. I know I am. So stupid, I am sorry for being so stupid.” Her mortification grew as she spoke, realising that she was making the situation even worse. Jooheon would think she was insane.

“Breathe. Please, breathe for me.” His voice was calm and did not betray his emotions. Rebecca did as he said, small hiccups escaping every now and again.

“Are you home? Are you safe?”

“I am home; I called in sick for work. They are going to be so mad at me; I might lose clients over this!”

“You won’t, everything is going to be alright. I promise. I am coming.”

“No, don’t put yourself out. I am sorry I did not want to bother you!” Rebecca knew she sounded hysterical but could not stop herself.

“It is not a bother; you are not doing anything wrong. I will be there soon. I have to get off the phone to order an Uber but I will be with you as soon as possible. I was calling to see if you were working today because I wanted to hang out so you are not disrupting anything. I promise. Now, do me a favour and make yourself a tea. Will you do that?” His voice was still calm and gentle. She nodded into the phone before verbalizing a yes when she remembered he could not see her. He quietly said goodbye and hung up. Rebecca decided to focus on doing as he said instead of panicking more about the situation.

Jungkook had been planning on inviting Rebecca out for another dinner when he called, but those plans were dashed when he heard her teary voice. Heart pounding in his chest he did his best to calm her down while being hopelessly confused at the same time. He really had nothing planned so it was an easy decision to go and help. As soon as he was comfortable that she had calmed enough to go and make a tea as he suggested, the singer grabbed his wallet and hotel keycard and left his room. At least he was already dressed.

It was a tense 10min Uber trip to Rebecca’s apartment, and Jungkook’s mind was whirling with thoughts the whole time. All he really knew was that she had run out of medication, obviously regular ones which cause side effects when stopped. He was not sure how prescriptions worked here, but hopefully he would be allowed to get one filled for her. All he wanted to do was make sure she was alright, and he would carry her to a bloody hospital if that was needed.

Eventually they arrived outside the alley that led to her apartment; Jungkook thanked the driver and exited. He all but ran to her apartment, taking the stairs two at a time in his haste. He knocked twice on the door, and only had to wait a minute for it to be opened. The gap was wide enough for him to go in, but Rebecca stayed obscured behind the door and told him to come inside. He did so, and the door was quickly closed behind him. Finally he could see Rebecca.

The first thing that Jungkook noticed was her puffy and red rimmed eyes; she was still wearing her sleep clothes and had yet to brush her hair. She looked so ashamed and uncertain that his chest hurt, hating to see the normally cheerful woman so beaten down.

“I’m sorry again, I look a mess.” Obviously she had noticed his staring. Without thinking twice about it Jungkook pulled her into a tight hug.

“You look fine. Can you explain to me what is happening?” He talked as softly as possibly, unsure exactly what he was dealing with. When there was no immediate answer he continued, “Is this a problem that you need to go to hospital for, is it dangerous missing your medication?”

“I don’t need a hospital. I just need to get back on track with the meds.”

Relief filled him knowing the situation was not too dire. That did not mean it was not serious, however. “Right, can I get the script filled on your behalf here?”

“As long as you have the original script, which is here.” Rebecca waved at the table which held the document. “You do not have to though, I just need time to calm down and I can probably go out.” There was no conviction in her tone.

“I’ll do it; you just have a shower and take care of yourself while I am gone.” Jungkook insisted. Rebecca did not have the fight in her to deny him, so agreed.

“Alright, but you need to use my card. They have pay pass so just swipe it when you need to pay.” Before he could refuse she fished out her credit card from her wallet and gave it to him. “I am warning you know, there is less than $200 in my account so not worth stealing.” She managed to tease weakly.

Jungkook smiled, happy that she was at least comfortable to joke a bit. “I will be right back.” He swore, pressing a kiss to her forehead just to see her blush. He grabbed the prescription and went back out to find the closest pharmacy.