’So, what’s with your mother and this whole „let’s not tell the kid that I will marry someone”-thing?’ – Sungjin asked as he was drinking another sip out of his expensive red wine.
‘Believe me, I would be the happiest person in this world, if I knew’ – replied the girl who was drinking a cocktail called Passion fruit Kamikaze. The sweet yet strong alcohol was running down and it made her feel so happy and sorrow at the same time. – ‘I mean yeah, I am maybe still a little bit not over the divorce of my parents as their child, but at the same time I could understand their decision at that time. They were fighting a lot, didn’t have any common topic anymore and you know… the fire died between them. It’s not my fault, nor their. It’s just the effect of time and a not so strong bond. But despite this, why did she think it was a good idea? It would be so much better if she had introduced us before, she should have let me get used to the idea getting a “new family” or something and then the marriage. I’ve never thought like this, but my mother acted really childish and irresponsible.’
‘My father introduced me to your mom. I wasn’t happy. And then they told me about their wedding. I was angry. But probably not because of the thought my father getting remarried, but not knowing anything about that women, who turns out to be your mother. I mean, she told us she had a daughter. But what kind of a girl she is? Celine never told us anything about you – your age, status, name, appearance, nothing. Or maybe she did to my father, but not to me. And I really didn’t know what to do with the lack of information. Why she acted like that. But I guess I understood everything after today.’
‘Noo, it’s not like that at all. I am not defending my mother, don’t get me wrong, because I also have mixed feelings about her actions, but she loves me. I’ve always felt that there was a wall, a really thin but strong one, between us but I couldn’t give a normal reason for its existence. I thought it was only me, but no. But… do I feel bad about it? Yes. Do I feel like a total loser, a lonely mess who will be loved by no one? Absolutely. Do I suddenly feel all alone in this big world right now? Of course, who wouldn’t? But am I able to change how things are right now? I’m not sure. I don’t know if I have the mental strength to break down that wall. Maybe I could do it from my side, but probably not from my mother’s. I know it is not my fault to be born, but this means I stole many things away from her. Her youth, her love, her experiences about traveling and making mistakes. Oh wait. No. I let her have mistakes’ – at this point Mabel couldn’t help herself but started to cry. She was ashamed of herself for ruining someone’s life, although it wasn’t intentional, nor her own will but her parents’. But still it made her feel so bad, so guilty.
‘Yaa, I’m going to hit you! I may not look like that, but I am strong.’ – Sungjin always felt bad when someone was crying or having a rough time, he had the urge to help and console them. Just like right at this moment. So he put down his bottle and hugged the girl as tight as he could. – ‘You’re not a mistake. Just think about how many things wouldn’t happen if you weren’t here. Maybe your parents didn’t ask for you, but someone else did. For example, your best friend, your future husband, I don’t know some little child or old man whom you helped with something. If you have any suicidal thoughts, let me tell you one thing. There’s not a single person who doesn’t worth living. We didn’t ask for it, but it happened. And who knows. Maybe I was asking for you, that’s the reason why you were born. I always wanted a little sibling, but my parents never gave me one. Maybe God, the universe, or who knows what, knew all along I will never get to have a real little sibling, so they had to prepare a substitution. So throw away all of your bad thoughts and think only about this: I asked for your existence, and I’m the happiest person in the world for having you’ – this guy knew how to touch someone’s soul. Ever since this morning Mabel was feeling like a piece of thrown away food, but now she feels like the most luxurious meal a person could ever have. She has never felt this needed or loved by someone. Let this feeling be romantic-love or a building sibling-love, whatever it is she was happy that she felt the warmth, caring and honesty coming from the boy sitting next to her. Also, she couldn’t ignore the fact, that the hug she was having at the moment, was the best hug she ever received.
‘Can I touch your hair?’ – the girl was looking at the guy playfully. Besides his big eyes his fluffy hair was the other thing what she noticed right away. It seemed so soft.
‘Really? After my motivational speech this is all you want to ask me?’ – Sungjin pretended to be hurt, but he was happy that he could see some joy in the girl’s eyes.
‘Right now I don’t want to think about anything what this ty life gave me. But I want to experience everything what it’s about to offer me. Just like your hair.’ – Mabel looked at the guy with shining eyes. If there was a third person, he wouldn’t be able to tell whether they’re lovers or step siblings. Sungjin had brotherly love in his eyes and heart, because he liked the girl probably right away, but Mabel had romantic love in her eyes. She fell in love with Sungjin right away. The boy saw her as her little sister, while the girl saw him totally as a man. Although Mabel wasn’t aware of her feelings yet, but she could feel something bad may occur soon. But she couldn’t care about this feeling right now, all she wanted to do was to ruffle through Sungjin’s amazing hair.
‘Okay, I’ll let you do it. If from now on I can ruin your hair anytime I want and you won’t whine about it at all.’ – offered the guy the best deal available.
‘By this do you mean that ruffling your hair once is equal to ruin my hair for the rest of my life?’
‘Yes, that’s exactly what I mean’.
‘Hmpf, makes sense. Deal’ – she laughed as she already put her hand on the boy’s hand and started to play with his hair. It felt so nice. She never played with anyone’s hair. For Mabel, touching a person’s head meant total trust. She couldn’t explain why, but this gesture has always seemed so inward and intimate that she didn’t have the courage to do it even with her closest friends. But here she is. With a guy who she knows for a few hours, telling him everything about her life, he makes her feel better by making her laugh with his terrible jokes, he just understands everything she’s going through. Mabel was so happy that she finally had a friend, brother, potential lover, you can call him whatever you want, who she could rely on.
‘So after this you’re going to move to our house? It will be so much fun because – ‘
‘There’s no way I’m moving to anywhere. No offense, it is not because of you, but because of my mother and me. I don’t think I will be able to see her for a while, I feel like I need some time. Also from what I know right now you live miles away from here. We could meet up from time to time, but I’m not giving up on my university studies. I will tell this to my mom too, because she is probably also planning to move. I don’t care what she thinks, but I think she will realize that this will be the best for the two of us. I mean, I still have 2 years left. That time will fly away sooner than we notice. So I think after I finish here, I can go to your university maybe and do another major. Or a master’s degree, or something like this. Yeah, this seems a pretty reasonable plan for now’
‘Well, I don’t have much right to accept anything, but okay. let’s do it. But you have to promise me, we will keep in touch and never let the other disappear.’ – offered Sungjin.
‘I can keep this promise. What do you like? Instagram? Snapchat?’
‘Why not do both?’
‘Then see you again in the magical world of social media’ – she told him as she hugged Sungjin as their farewell for that night and the next 2 years.