After the Newton X Concert

We all gathered together for a meal after the concert, the managers joined though they couldn’t stay long. After everyone else but only the six of us had left, the atmosphere turned uncomfortable. Everyone was quiet all of a sudden. That was until KyuJong broke the silence. “I’m sorry,” he said.

Everyone else turned to him. HyunJoong looked as if he was ready to throw a long speech at KyuJong, but the Center stopped him. “Hyung, listen. I really don’t know if I’ll be able to say this any other time, so let me say this just once.” We watched him closely as he took a calming breath and close his eyes for a couple seconds before opening them back up.

“I’m sorry I haven’t given my all to you all these years, for everything wrong I have done in the past sevenish years we’ve been together, and I’m sorry if I have been a burden to you. I…” he cleared his throat and took a couple calming breaths before continuing, “I hope you can be successful in your solo career, I know you can. You all have to be more successful than me. I believe in you.” KyuJong finished his speech and smiled.

“We all have to be successful, including you, KyuJong. We all will be as successful as the other. I’m sure of it.” HyungJun, who was sitting beside KyuJong, side-hugged him. They both had teary eyes.

JungMin, who still hadn’t said his message to YoungSaeng, finally spoke up. “I know I was supposed to say this message to YoungSaeng Hyung, but I will say it to everyone. I have 7 years worth of good memories with all of you, and I would never wish to trade it for anything. Please stay healthy and happy. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. It’s unfortunate that we have to go our own ways now but…”

YoungSaeng handed him a tissue as JungMin struggled to finish. HyunJoong was about to stop the scene but I put my hand on his. Let them be, let them say what they feel, was the message I wanted to say. Thankfully, he understood.

“I hope,” JungMin paused, sniffling, “I hope there will come a day when we can get together again. I truly hope this will not be the end of us. I love you all.”

This time, I couldn’t hold my tears. HyunJoong handed me the tissue box and I took some tissues from it. When I handed it back to him, I noticed that he took a few for himself as well. He finally shed tears.

“All of you listen to me,” I started after I got hold of myself. “It all will get easier. I promise you it will. You will feel lonely at first, but know that we’re all just one phone call away. You can always call or text each other.”

Everyone looked at each other and there was this silent promise that they made. A promise to stay together no matter what. A promise to be together even though not physically. Soon enough, the atmosphere turned comfortable.

---

Lebanon, Kansas, January 2019

It had been over eight years since their last event. They had kept their promise to stay in touch after all these years. They served in the military and attended each other’s farewell events. HyungJun just came back a week ago and JungMin told me that all five of them were going to have a small meetup. He invited me along, but since I was getting some work done in the US, I could only do a short video call with them. They told me that they were going to do some projects. JungMin was going to release a single, YoungSaeng was working on a mini album, HyungJun and HyunJoong were planning tours, HyunJoong was even close to releasing a full album, and KyuJong was going to star in a drama, a theater, and a musical. They were all busy, even JungMin complained about their schedule.

I didn’t say much, only for them to be patient just a little bit more as there will be a way for them to get together. I made myself sound as optimistic as possible and when I saw the five faces at the other end lit up as they smiled, I made it my mission to make sure it would happen. I had never seen them so happy, so hopeful, before. Not even before their debut back in 2005.

Time flew and it had been over half an hour. Much to my dismay, I had to go join Sam and Dean in the library, thus I had to end the call with the boys. They were disappointed, too. HyungJun even made me promise to arrange a meetup as soon as I was back from the US because they had something to tell me. He didn’t let me hang up until I had promised him multiple times. They really would never grow up.

“SeoYun, you done yet?” Dean’s voice came booming from the direction of the library.

“Yeah, I’m done,” I said, sliding my phone back into my pockets. I made my way from my room in the bunker to the library where my long time hunting partners were waiting for me.

I had known Sam and Dean Winchester for about 20 years. The brothers were hunters, supernatural hunters. They’d been hunting vampires, werewolves, and other supernatural beings all their lives. They were infamous among those creatures.

We first met when we all coincidentally worked on a vampire case. Dean, the older brother, had saved my life that day. When I told them I was also a hunter, they agreed to work with me, they even taught me how to live the hunter live without having a daytime job. We had kept in touch ever since and even helped each other quite often. I had been going back and forth between Kansas and Seoul in the past 10 years. The things the Winchesters were up against got pretty big lately and thus increase the frequency of my visits.

However, helping them was not my main reason to come here this time. A couple years back, I felt great pain in my abdomen that I had to check to the hospital. Well, actually I had been feeling pain in that area, along with the middle back, longer than that, but with everything going on with the Winchesters and my dongsaengs, I just took painkillers most of the time. The painkillers helped with the pain, but not with the illness. Just last week I went to the hospital in Seoul, after weeks of going back and forth for tests, to get my test result and they told me that I had pancreatic cancer. The tumor was located near a main blood vessel, making it inoperable. At first, I refused to believe their statement a