Yixing opened his eyes as the alarm went off on the nightstand. 

He moved to sit on the tip side of the bed, picked up the remote under the pillow, and pressed one of the buttons. The window curtain on the two sides of the bedroom opened automatically a second later. He leaned his elbows over his thighs, slightly bent, and he sat quietly. It was Wednesday, and he'd barely slept since returning from Shanghai. There were so many things that were raging inside his head, things that he didn't initially think about, but suddenly became a hurricane that invaded his mind-space instantly. And this really bothered him, especially when he realized that he had made a big mistake.

Yixing couldn't stop thinking about Jisoo.

He had to admit that Jisoo was one of a kind. Her story was nothing common, and she was different herself. She was not the easy-to-guess kind of woman that he found in most of the women he had met and dated, at one time she was very relaxed and threw out her typical joke that Yixing was sure not everyone could understand, Jisoo had a slightly unique sense of humor, it's obvious, and maybe it was influenced by the more experience that she had than other women by her age. Jisoo was much more approachable that way. But at other times, she could be very introverted, as if there was an invisible huge wall that she had built so that no one could see or read what she was thinking. And that side of her was the one he saw when they were connected in a video call on Monday evening. Jisoo didn't say anything about it, but the look on her face just gave it away.

One thing that made him interested in Jisoo in the first place was how he found that they were actually not much different. They were both busy people, those types of work-oriented people. They also had dreams and things they want to achieve. At first, he wasn't sure if he wanted a woman like Jisoo to be his life companion, he preferred a woman who was willing to stay at home and dedicating herself to taking care of her family, someone like his mother. But after some of the relationships that he went through, then the failure they passed because of the same reason, Yixing began to revise his mindset. Someone like Jisoo was probably what he needed because someone like her was the one who could best understand the phase of life he was currently living. And their last talk just strengthened his allegations.

At the same time, Yixing also saw that behind the success that Jisoo had at this time, with the title and high rank she got in the status of society, there was actually great insecurity that she felt in her. There were many worries that she kept for herself, and although Jisoo never told her in detail what she felt, this was very evident from the way she reacted to his family's marriage proposal. And with all that knowledge, he should've been able to better understand what the girl wanted. Their desires were actually the same, but he was too blinded with his own selfishness and he almost destroyed someone's life.

Yixing should've known better, he shouldn't have kissed her that evening.

He's much better than this, he was raised better. His mother had raised him to be a gentleman, someone who respected a woman and her vicinity. But his rude impetuosity the other day was far from the attitude he should have. He was selfish, only because he wanted his mother to stop pestering him to get married soon and he used Jisoo's obedience to her parents to impose his personal resolution. He didn't want to admit that Jisoo, like himself, had a big vision for her life. And with his shortsightedness, he thought he could force his resolution into her consideration that they could really do all this in a short time. He might be able to force himself to do all this, but not with Jisoo. The girl wanted to be heard, and he was supposed to be the very person who listened to her the most. And after his speech about how marriage should have been, he instead behaved otherwise. He was really irrelevant, and he hated himself because of this.

He didn't think the problem would be this big, he thought Jisoo would be able to put herself in because, after all, they came from a family with not much different culture. But he was wrong at that, very, very wrong. Jisoo's silence opened his eyes, the way the girl looked at him was like a bull's kick that threw him into the sea. All this time he was used to women who were spazzing over his persona wherever he went. He was used to their crazy stare as if they were stripping him in the hope of getting laid with him, he was used to people who praised his virtues and success.

He never faced someone who looked at him like she didn't want to deal with him.

Jisoo had looked uncomfortable since the beginning of their video call was connected. The girl just said she felt tired and her mood was a bit chaotic because the program that was filled in during the day didn't go well as she wished. At normal times, he might think that Jisoo was that type of those moody girl when they were exhausted. But over time, the more they talked, and the more he noticed her gestures, he saw there was more than the way she behaved. She even seemed reluctant to look at him in the eyes. She looked very uncomfortable, only smiled once or twice, and after half an hour of talking Yixing began to feel that she actually didn't want to talk to him, but said nothing because she might not want to offend him. And from there he realized that this was all a big problem. And that he had started this problem when he broke their boundaries. It was wrong to kiss her like that, especially when she tried to push him away. It was a subtle sign that she objected to his unprompted action, but he chose to ignore it. He thought all girls would fall in his charm easily, but he was forgotten, that Jisoo wasn't the same as all of those girls.

It was a mess. A big mess.

Yixing closed his eyes for a moment, he couldn't forget the look in her eyes like she was forced to do all those talking they had over the call. He couldn't forget how her gaze felt like a sledgehammer punching his face hard, a slap that made him realize that it felt like he was her that way. He never thought that it was that extreme, to the extent that he was a little traumatized by his own behavior. He had wrecked her, and he had to do something to fix it.

Outside the room, Yixing heard his mother start doing her morning routine, preparing breakfast and anything else. He also began to get ready to go to the office, and just left the room half an hour later when he was ready to leave. Usually, he would only start getting ready after morning exercise, but because he intended to talk to his mother, Yixing deliberately prepared himself early.

"Xingxing, you're so early this morning. It's a good thing Mama has already prepared breakfast. Are you going to have a meeting in the office this morning?" His mother asked from the kitchen when she saw him appear from behind his bedroom door.

"Not really." his answer was short. He pulled the dining table chair and seated himself there, he took two bowls and spooned rice into them, then put one across the table and the other one in front of him. He began to eat in silence.

His mother pulled another chair across the table and sat there, "I think we have to hold two parties at a separate time. The wedding ceremony will be held here, then we will have another party for the big family and baba's relations in Beijing. I had a talk with Jisoo's mother, and she doesn't mind this plan." she told him as she began to eat with him.

Yixing said nothing. He listened to his mother speak, telling him about the details of the program she was trying to prepare. Even though they had four months of preparation, his mother thought that the plan must be set at least next month, before she hired a wedding organizer to finalize everything that she and Jisoo's mother had in mind. She was so excited because of the preparation for this marriage, and Yixing became a little guilty about it.

"Mama," he called out softly. He put his chopstick at its rest and had a few sips of water while waiting to get her full attention.

"Yes, Son?"

"Mama, I want to call off the wedding," he said.

His mother's expression changed. Her smile disappeared, and it replaced by deep wrinkles on her forehead. Damn it, Yixing didn't like this. On the one hand, he didn't like it when his mother began to look at him with that look, but on the other hand, he couldn't let that excitement to continue. There was another life that he must save, and he must do this before it's too late.

"What did you say? Why? Mama thought you agreed with this plan. You even agreed to propose to her." said his mother, half whining.

"Yes, I know, I know. I really thought so, at first. But mama, it's Jisoo we're talking about. She was shaken up by the proposal, you even saw how she reacted that night."

"But they said she likes you. She looks like she likes you, I saw it with my own eyes the way she looked at you. And as a woman myself, I know it when someone likes a man."

Yixing sighed, "Ma, liking someone and agreeing to marry him is a different case. She has dreams she wants to achieve, she has jobs she wants to get busy on and she's so passionate about them. I don't want to push myself into her comfort zone and be a passion wrecker. If we push her to get her to marry me as planned, I will destroy her. Sooner or later she will hate me, she will blame me for those things she lost her chances to get done for and I don't want her to hate someone she marries for the rest of her life, because divorce will never be an option." he explained.

"I know you want the best for me, but it's not the best decision for her. She's precious, Ma. You said yourself that she is a precious woman. You want me to settle down with her. But please, believe me this time. Jisoo and I will be the ones on this ship, let us decide when to sail it ourselves. Let us build it strong and steady, so we won't be sinking in the middle of the lifeless sea. You want me to be happy, don't you?"

His mother nodded.

"I will be happy as long as Jisoo is happy. If she's not happy with this rushed marriage, I won't be happy either."

His mother said nothing for a while. He watched her eat her food in silence, her expression wrinkled, showing how much she thought about this. Yixing knew that her mother was very disappointed with this decision, she was very happy when she heard that he agreed with everything his parents suggested. She was very excited that his son would get married, like the fortune teller their family had mentioned. He hated to make his mother disappointed, but he knew this was the best. Because now that Jisoo was there in his life, and maybe in his future life, he must also think about her interests. He only hoped that his mother would understand, after all, his mother was a woman, supposedly from everyone, she would know best what it was like to be Jisoo.

"Well, a good catch is not an easy tame. I think women today are very different, in my time we didn't have the voice to have a say in what our parents decided. Everything was set, I just had to follow all their wishes."

"In that case, you understand the best about being in her shoes, right? I'm sure you don't want Jisoo to feel the same way as you did, in your time," he emphasized.

His mother nodded again. Sometimes, there were times when convincing his mother was not a difficult thing, he only needed to say