"Let's break up, Teuk. I ain't feeling it anymore."

 

 

 

 

 

Like a thunderstorm in the middle of a lovely day, Leeteuk couldn't believe his ears. His mind went blank, unable to proceed anything his boyfriend had just said. He could only stare desperately at Heechul, hoping it was just hallucination. His heart told him that what he heard was not true but his brain screamed otherwise. Although he was torn, he wanted to cling onto his heart. 

 

 

 

However, his hopes were all crushed when Heechul finally walked away after uttering his painful goodbye. Everything was vague—the reasons, the breakup, the love. His b eyes continued to follow his boyfriend's form until it disappeared in the darkness of the night. His only light had gone; he'd become blind. Leeteuk shoved his hand inside his pocket. There, inside his palm, was a ring he'd been planning to give to Heechul tonight. A ring—to show how much he loved Heechul and how serious he was— now turned into a ring which would only remind him how miserable his love was.

 

 

 

 

 

"So, it's really the end," Leeteuk whispered to the ring without its owner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

}}---{{

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Teuk-ah, come out. You haven't eaten anything since two days ago."

 

 

 

Leeteuk confined his weak body inside his thick blanket even when his mother's voice had reached his ears for the third time today. No, he was not a single bit hungry. Everything tasted bitter after that night. Call him selfish, because he was. Although he heard clearly Heechul had given up on their love, he still wanted to believe that it was all lie. He still wanted to save the bond they had. He still wanted to cherish the love he had.

 

 

 

 

 

"Teuk-ah, your uncle and aunt are here. Please come out for a moment."

 

 

 

As there was no answer from her son, again, Leeteuk's mother finally pushed the door open. She looked at the lump on the bed and smiled sadly. Leeteuk had been very enthusiastic about proposing to Heechul but now that fate had shown how cruel it could get, she could only help Leeteuk to collect his shattered feeling. She sat on the bed, patting her son's back over the blanket.

 

 

 

"Teuk. Heechul won't come back even if you torture yourself like that."

"I know."

She sighed, "Then why do you keep shutting yourself?"

 

 

 

Leeteuk shifted a little. Noticing that her son reacting, she continued, "You know, Teuk. Love is unpredictable, today it makes you feel like you better die than living with the heartbreak you're suffering but perhaps tomorrow it makes you over the moon."

"I'm fine, whichever it is, as long as it's him."

 

 

 

Leeteuk's mother smiled realizing how stubborn her son was. Heechul was a good man but he was aware that somehow he and her son didn't match at things. She wished they would last forever as Leeteuk seemed so happy to be with Heechul, but, she guessed the feeling wasn't mutual.

 

 

 

"Give him time. Maybe, he needs more time to understand your affection. If he indeed loves you, he will come back."

"What if he will not?" came a muffled sigh. 

 

 

 

Leeteuk's mother inhaled deeply, looking at the photo frame of Leeteuk and Heechul on Leeteuk's birthday last year hanging on the wall. Their smiles seemed to leave no room for something to detain them yet funny how it turned out to be like this in a blink of an eye.

 

 

 

"If he doesn't come back, you have to let him go, continue your life, meet someone new, and move on."

 

 

 

Leeteuk flinched, listening to each and every word from his mother that was perfectly resembling what Heechul said that night. The look on his face was still vivid, haunting him in his sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

"Meet someone nice. Be happy, Teuk."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

}}---{{

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leeteuk glanced at his watch as he got out of his car. He smiled; his habit to be ahead of time slowly became his trait. The sun had been setting on the west; he groaned, relaxing his tensed muscles from his workload. He strode over to the entrance of the bar and noticed that it was more crowded than he thought. Exhaling a long breath, he finally requested a table and got it right away. 

 

 

 

A waitress came to get his order just a moment after he settled himself. She seemed nice, beaming all the time. He turned the smile politely and put in his order. The table across him was very loud, contradictory to his quiet lonely one. It somehow reminded him about his ex; Heechul always liked to hang out with many people. Leeteuk smiled sadly, looking at his empty table. Now that they'd been living their own life without including each other's presence in it, he'd just realized how unmatched they were. It did take a long time for him to move on, but in the end, after his effort to get Heechul back by persistently contacting the latter, he was still left alone.

 

 

 

 

 

"Sir, your order."

The sweet voice of the waitress from earlier broke his long thought. After thanking her, he took a sip of his mocktail and sighed. He started to get frustrated as everything he did only reminded him of his past relationship. He was never able to drink a glass of beer without getting dizzy while his ex-boyfriend could stay sane even after his nth bottle. He chuckled bitterly, gripping the cold beverage hoping it would cool down his mind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Teuk-oppa!"

 

 

 

Leeteuk snapped his head to the source of the cheery voice. He smiled automatically, waving his hand to the person he was waiting for.

"Subin-ah, over here!"

 

 

 

 

 

Subin strode over rather hurriedly to the table bringing another person with her. She immediately hugged Leeteuk right after she came to the table. Leeteuk reciprocated the hug, tightening his hold as his heart was overwhelmed by so many emotions. They pulled away and Subin, then, introduced the man she was with all along to Leeteuk.

 

 

 

"Oppa, this is him."

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Ayy, you should drink the beer from this bar. We won't leave you derelict on the street."

 

 

 

Subin laughed, sticking out her tongue to Leeteuk. The man being teased only scoffed lightly, flicking her forehead before he messed Subin's styled hair. The girl whined loudly because the masterpiece she had created was ruined mercilessly. They all laughed wholeheartedly, enjoying the ambiance.

 

 

 

 

 

"Now, now. Let's get back to the topic, shall we?"

 

 

 

Leeteuk flipped the catalog over and over again to search the concept suiting their preference. Not even a minute passed, Subin cried out, "I'm tired of arranging this wedding. How can you bear doing this on your own?"

 

 

 

Leeteuk chuckled although deep inside his heart ached badly remembering his almost proposal. 

 

 

 

"What have we had by now?" the man asked. Leeteuk sipped his drink before he explained to them.

 

 

 

"Arranging a wedding ceremony isn't that easy you know. We've already got the building, now we only need the concept that will fit in the building we've chosen. How about you, Ryeowook-ssi? What do-"

 

 

 

For a split second, Leeteuk's mind stopped working. He thought his delusional phase had been over long ago yet just now he thought he sensed the perfume he missed so much. His eyes instinctively scanned the place but he found no one. His heart twitched uncontrollably; when he thought he'd moved on, just a mere scent destroyed everything.

 

 

 

 

 

"Oppa? What's wrong?"

 

 

 

Leeteuk got a grip when Subin's voice reached his ears. He smiled apologetically and continued his discussion albeit his heart refused to calm.

"I'm saying, how about you Ryeowook-ssi? What concept do you prefer? I've listened to Subin's idea and to be very honest, it's a bit difficult to do that. How can you expect a garden party in a ballroom?"

 

 

 

Ryeowook chuckled, pinching Subin's cheek lovingly, "That's not a bad idea, we can be the first couple to have a garden party inside a ballroom. Right, babe?"

Leeteuk's jaw dropped. He scoffed hard, closing the catalog quite too strongly.

"No wonder you can bear my cousin's randomness. Not to be rude, but you're the same Ryeowook-ah."

 

 

 

Subin's smile widened as Leeteuk—his very austere cousin—was finally coaxed to her fiancée, dropping the formality. She looked at her lover and tightened her grip on his arm. Leeteuk sighed, albeit him still smiling.

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm starting to regret to ever want to help you arranging your wedding."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

}}---{{

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Now you may kiss your bride."

 

 

 

"Chullie, will we get married to each other someday?"

"Can you at least give a warning when you want to ask a very shocking question?"

"Just answer."

"We will, you dummy. I will marry you. Happy?"

 

 

 

 

 

"We will, you said."

 

 

 

Leeteuk couldn't contain his tears—no one knew whether they were happy tears or his stirred emotions also mixing in. Seeing his cousin married the love of her life made him if not very envy. How pretty Heechul would be if he was dolled up in a white suit walking down the aisle with him. The sky was so bright yet his heart was pitch dark. He needed his light, desperately.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

}}---{{

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Teuk-oppa, I'm sorry~"

 

 

 

Leeteuk stopped working on his documents when Subin's voice echoed in the living room. She pouted, pulling Ryeowook's shirt as Leeteuk looked at him accusingly.

"I-i guess no pretzels for your birthday this year."

 

 

 

"Yeah, hyung. We're sorry. We've looked around to any bakery around here but they have no pretzels left. Seriously, why is everyone suddenly fond of that pastry?" Ryeowook sighed, plopping down on the couch. Leeteuk got back to his laptop, uttering lazily, "Because pretzels are special. Yeah, that's fine if we have none this year, just because it overlaps your wedding celebration that I spare you this time."

 

 

 

Ryeowook grinned madly while his wife finally breathed relief.

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

The sky was yellowish with a tinge of red in it. It was beautiful yet somehow it made Leeteuk nervous. Beauty only brought pain; the notion he badly wanted to reject but he helplessly started to believe it. Today was his birthday—his day. However, his mind had been occupied by someone else when it was supposed to be him and only him.

"Chul-ah, do you remember what day it is?"

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

"Happy Birthday, Leeteuk!"

 

 

 

Each of his family members took a turn to congratulate him, hugging him or even kissing his cheeks. Leeteuk couldn't help but feel contented. The happy faces he was seeing now were too precious for him to be ungrateful. Yet, deep inside, he knew he was greedy for more—for just one more.

 

 

 

 

 

They happily chatted and ate the food after the newlywed cut their second cake. Subin never looked any happier, Leeteuk assumed. He was glad to witness how love could be so beautiful after his cruel breakup; he was afraid he wouldn't believe in the lovely feeling yet again because the scar Heechul left was too deep.

 

 

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