It had been a few months since Minseok had left the dorms to enjoy a life of his own in his own flat and it was not because he did not like living with the group, to be honest it fascinated him, but it was time to live other experiences, especially with so little time left for him before he had to go to his military service.

So the EXO dorms were drained of a little more energy again. It seemed that each time they lost more members, although it was not really the case, only curiously the older ones had wanted to be more independent or, in the case of Yixing, unable to live there, which was not bad, they were still in the group and that was what counted.

Baekhyun was sure that the rest of the members silently thanked him for his presence, his noise and his lightened personality, since he avoided feeling emptiness in the absence of his hyungs on days when they were not all together or busy in their schedules and Baekhyun cheerfully took care of maintaining a vibrant and positive atmosphere, although he could not help but miss Junmyeon and Minseok now that they were not living with them.

As it was well known, Junmyeon was the leader of his small gang, his knowledge and ease of speech had earned him that title despite not being the oldest and Baekhyun could not be happier that someone as respectable as him was to take care of them.

Many years, especially in the first ones, he lived thinking that it was Junmyeon to whom they owed everything—or almost everything—as a group; that he was the one everyone came to when they had a problem, or who tended to have solutions for everything, he just thought that Junmyeon was the perfect mother of the group. It was until later, just after Sehun once complained about the treatment he received from him and the distancement that had arisen after Zitao's departure, that he realised that Junmyeon was not perfect and that he also needed someone to help him and that's when he realised that it was not only he who imposed order in the group, but Minseok, the eldest hyung.

He remembered perfectly that time, he remembered the stares that Sehun shot at him from his place in the living room or in the kitchen and how there was a time when he locked himself in his room a lot.

Minseok approached him with a defiant expression on his face and Baekhyun could not help but move uncomfortable in his place, although it was true and well known that the stare of his hyung was wonderful, not many knew the double effect of it. It could be tender, the most calm and peaceful in the world, full of infinite sensitivity and understanding; but it could also be serious, very serious, cold, defiant, direct, so much so that one could swear to feel how that pair of eyes could pierce your being and look through your soul. Just that second modality was the one that Baekhyun faced now.

“What's wrong, hyung?” He asked feeling that something was wrong.

“I don't know,” the older one replied.  “You tell me. Tell me what is going on,” he challenged.

“Mmm,” he hesitated, suddenly feeling very insecure. “I have no idea.”

Minseok nodded, but that did not meant at all that he believed him or that everything was fine and that he was going to let it go. He had simply sat in the nearest chair, indicating that he would keep him company.

“Where is Sehun?” Questioned the then blond Minseok. “Do you know?”

“The last time I saw him, he was in his room,” he replied. ”Why are you asking, hyung?”

“Precisely because of that,” he received an authoritative look that made him shudder. “Lately that's where he lives and you know why?”

Baekhyun denied surprised, as if cornered.

“Because he does not feel comfortable around you. He didn't need to tell me for me to know,” Minseok hurried to explain when he saw Baekhyun open his mouth to protest. “I just knew it and it took me a lot of effort to get him to say even a few words on the subject,” he paused and Baekhyun did not dare to say anything, only his strong breathing was heard, he had never seen him speak with such an attitude. “So please, do me a small favour, go talk to him and be on good terms, it does not have to be right now, do it when you can,” he said in a slightly calmer and understandable tone. “But do it.”

He blinked once, incredulous and looked at Minseok with wide eyes before moving his head slowly to nod.

“Yes, hyung.”

He had no strength, no desire, no reason to debate, the hyung's imposing attitude simply did not allow him to do so, did not allow him to arm himself with the courage to respond and was probably because of his nature; Minseok was usually very shy, quiet, introverted even and before that time it would not have occurred to him that he had that ability, so when the hyung adopted that attitude very rarely, he could not help but be surprised and freeze instead.

However, that time Baekhyun had not done what Minseok had asked him to do.
He just did not know what to do or what to say, he had no idea what his hyung was referring to.

Probably there he should start, by asking Sehun if something was wrong, but it did not feel right to come and ask what was going on if it seemed to be his fault in the way that Minseok had painted it and it would probably only make the maknae feel worse.

A week passed and Baekhyun did not know how to approach the maknae and he could not find out what was happening either, no other member knew it and even Junmyeon ignored it.

He was surprised on Saturday afternoon, after everyone had finished their activities, when Junmyeon called him to have a conversation like he usually did when there was a problem only between a couple of members, because if it was something bigger that involved more than four members, then he made sure to hold a 'family meeting', as he liked to call it.

“Hyun,” he called him. “Come, let's talk.”
Baekhyun followed him without questioning anything. “Tell me, why don't you let Sehun get close to you?”

He frowned and muttered a “what?” Junmyeon had not responded to that, giving him a chance to think about it. “I don't know what you're talking about, hyung.”

“Minseok told you, Sehun feels strange near you, distant, as if you did not allow him to approach you.”

“He never said all that,” he muttered under his breath.

“But he asked you to do something about it.”

“And I tried!” He protested, raising his voice. “But I didn't know what to say because I don't know exactly what's happening, I tried to know it so as not to make him feel bad, but nobody knew and I just could not get close, I felt that arriving without any clue about his feelings would have been worse.”

At that moment the door of the room they were in opened and Baekhyun turned his head to find Minseok entering with an imposing posture.

“I told you, little , to please fix things with him and you had a week, Baekhyun,” although his voice sounded menacing and his attitude was serious again, he could not help but distinguish a clue from his usual tranquility. “He's going to come here in less than a minute and you're going to talk to him or I will personally take care of making your life difficult, okay?”

Baekhyun nodded, feeling hurt to receive those words. He felt like a baby, when his mother's voice yells something at him and he starts to cry, accustomed to maternal benevolence, without ever having faced a scolding.

He barely had time to turn around to see Junmyeon silent in his place, just nodding at the older man's words, before Sehun entered the room.

“Sehunnie,” he murmured when he saw him, feeling the pressure of his hyungs on him but still not knowing exactly what to say or how to act.

“Hyung,” acknowledged the maknae back.

Baekhyun ran his tongue very lightly over his lips, suddenly dry from the state he was in.

“Come on, Sehun,” Junmyeon spoke in a motherly voice. “Tell Baekhyun what is bothering you.”

The maknae passed his gaze from the leader to Minseok and again to Junmyeon and finally let it rest in the eldest, in search of support or something that would assure him that everything was fine, that would incite him to speak, and Baekhyun could distinguish that he found that feeling in Minseok, judging from the direction of his gaze.

“For whatever it is that I've done,” Baehyun hastened to say. “I'm sorry,” and he really meant it, because despite not knowing what it was that had made his maknae feel bad, he had not done it with intention at all. “Can you tell me?”

“After Zitao left,” Sehun mouthed, looking small despite his height and apparent maturity, “you will not let me get close to you.”

Baekhyun felt his heart sink into his chest at the subject he was touching and the pain that was awakening, but he knew then that that was precisely why he had made the youngest of the group feel bad. He remained motionless and silent for a few minutes in which he heard Minseok clear his throat, rushing him.

“I'm sorry,” he whispered. “I never realised that, it was unconscious. After Tao left, I was very sad and I guess I refused to show the same affection with any of my dongsaengs, especially you, because...” He paused and snorted smiling defeated. “You are our maknae. I would not stand for that to repeat itself with you.”

“But I will not leave, hyung,” Sehun argued in a pout. “I'm still here.”

“He just wants your love, Baek,” Minseok clarified, using the same tone, but a little more calm, harmonious.

“And he has it,” he assured, taking Sehun's visibly larger hand in his own. “Sorry if I made you feel bad, or if I made you think you could not trust me or approach me, you know you can.”

“Thanks, hyung.”

There he lived in first person for the first time the fact that Minseok was really the one who imposed discipline there, although he had heard it before from someone else, of course then it had seemed impossible, almost invented and after a few hours he had forgotten about it completely.

Zitao had been the one who had told him. Interestingly enough, someone younger than him seemed to have heard about the eldest hyung's fury beforehand. His dongsaeng had told him, a few yesterdays ago, about Minseok's way of handling things and if he went back to the time when EXO was a newly formed group, Baekhyun could remember the conflict between Junmyeon and Yifan over who would be the leader of the group in general. The managers had chosen both to lead the divisions, however a 'general' leader was needed and they had chosen Junmyeon as the best option, of course that bothered Yifan at first, Baekhyun likes to believe that Yifan's discontent was not too much and that quickly he had happily accepted the decision, because a few days later it seemed that nothing had happened and he could see his two hyungs happy with each other.

It turns out that he never found out what was behind that event, things did not magically arrange as he liked to think. Zitao came to tell the story behind the myth, and that is that Minseok had actually made his moves and had fixed everything by getting in the middle and talking a little harshly as Baekhyun had not had to experiment until years later.

“Yifan!” Minseok exclaimed in a voice that demanded respect and attention but without shouting, earning a glance from the aforementioned. “Stop.”

“What!” Yifan exclaimed angrily, ready to refute.

“This is useless, there's no point in complaining,” before he could receive an answer, Minseok glanced at Junmyeon. 

“Leave us,” he asked.

Junmyeon nodded and left the room.

“Why can't you just support me!” Yifan shouted visibly angry. “Is this, perhaps, an injustice for not being Korean!” He questioned.

“I doubt it,” the older man replied, stepping forward. “And lower your voice, or the others will listen to you.”

“I don't care-”

“But I do!” It was Minseok's turn to exclaim. “Please, Yifan, be sensible, that's all I ask of you.”

He sighed in defeat.

“Okay.”

“Good,” said Minseok once he was sure he had calmed down. “Now, nothing is going to change the fact that the decision is already made, do not blame everything on Junmyeon, he did not choose it, he's just a groupmate and potential friend who is living exactly the same as you, who is about to to be thrown before the real and demanding world of this medium. Can you blame him?”

Yifan denied a little against his will, because he was still a little annoyed, but he was already beginning to see things without the anger blinding him.

“Both are human beings with incredible aptitudes and abilities to be considered worthy of being leaders, it requires incredible strength to be so and you can. You should not get mad because they chose him to stand up for EXO in-”

“But I'm older!”

“I know,” Minseok admitted without losing his composure. “But it is Junmyeon who has been here longer than all of us, not only natural abilities of a leader are required, but practice and knowledge of the environment we are about to get into. Junmyeon has it and that's why they chose him, do you understand?”

“Why don't you say anything?” Yifan asked defeated. “Why don't you fight to get the role?”

“Because I recognise your abilities, both, his and yours and I know you deserve it, for me it will be an honor for you to be my leader,” he paused. “Let him be with the rest. Do not make him your rival, because it is not. Be a team, help each other and keep going and together you can take this group forward.”

“And look who's putting the order between those who are supposed to be the leaders,” Yifan said sarcastically.

“I'm still the oldest,” he explained. ”It's my duty and you should listen to me.”

Yifan rolled his eyes, still internally hating managers, Junmyeon and Minseok, when he knew he should not have resentment with anyone because Minseok was right, nobody had done anything wrong, if he was to feel annoyed, it should be towards the managers, but not with those who would be his closest friends from now on.

“Do a tantrum like this one again," Minseok cautioned, “and I'll take you down from your cloud.”

Yifan smiled at the comment that Minseok had said jokingly, but that at the same time had sounded so serious.

That had been what Yifan had told Zitao, according to what the latter had told Baekhyun. Naturally, the question that Baekhyun had had was:

“And how did you know?”

Zitao left his laptop charger on the table before answering.

“Well, Yifan is my friend,” he said. “He told me.”

Baekhyun nodded.

“Don't tell me you thought Junmyeon hyung was the only one who set order around here,” Baekhyun shrugged. “It's Minseok hyung,” Tao remarked in case it was not clear.

At that time he did think about it, but he did not doubt his friend's words either, after all, as he himself had said, he and Yifan were very good friends, almost inseparable. Of course, when both still blessed them with their presence.

Yifan had decided to leave the group for the treatment he used to receive from the company, small actions that most of the time it was very difficult for others to capture, were actually bigger when it was only between the staff and him.

Baekhyun regretted infinitely not having noticed that earlier, once his anger had passed, because of course the rest of the members had retained an anger towards the second oldest of the group when he had left them without even explaining the reasons. But he supposed that the reasons, since he had learned about them, made sense. After all, Yifan was not the first Chinese member to leave the company.

He had vivid memories of the two older hyungs spending time together and of the many times when returning to the dorms, it was a sight of both holding deep talks anywhere in their home that received them. He always believed that because they were the oldest they had more knowledge and a different way of looking at life and that was why they often had to vent or share philosophies of life. Arriving at night to rest and see them sitting most of the time in the kitchen, like a couple of parents waiting for their children, meant being at home.

Until one day Baekhyun stopped seeing them. At first it only became less frequent to arrive and find them sharing words, after a month they did not do it at all. Yifan began to enclose himself more and to present a more erratic and irritable behaviour. If Minseok missed him or not, he could never decipher it.

Despite this change in one of the members, it still seemed that everything was the same as before in front of the cameras, a great advantage of being excellent actors and knowing how to separate work from daily life in bedrooms or in practice rooms. Also, Minseok was not very close to almost any member in front of the camera, his personality was reduced to an adorable shyness in front of an audience.

One day he came to the bedrooms with the rest, after a long day of rehearsals, directly to take a shower to remove the sweat from his body and put on comfortable pants and fall on his bed. By eleven o'clock at night practically everyone was in a deep sleep.

It was until dawn that he had to get up to go to the bathroom, because otherwise he could have slept until two in the afternoon without problems. He opened the door of the room he shared with Chanyeol and ran lightly to the bathroom, in less than two minutes he was already walking back, when he caught some silhouettes in the living room. He did not ask who it was because he was still drowsy enough to make the words leave his mouth, even though he thought of doing it. With his eyes closed rather than open he peeked out just enough to catch the image of Minseok and Yifan talking in extremely low voice with a couple of drinks nearby. At that moment the sleepiness was too much and he could not care less, so as soon as he walked to the bathroom, he went back into his room and fell asleep as deeply as before.

Two days later he had waken up to find out that Yifan was gone.

Zitao cried, he remembered it perfectly. Luhan seemed to have mixed feelings but he did not look as surprised as the rest like Yixing, who seemed to understand something of what was going on, but still quite confused. Kyungsoo did not abandon his neutral expression. Jongdae and Chanyeol did not know how to react. Sehun and Jongin were the saddest looking after Zitao. And Junmyeon did not know how to deal with everything at that moment.

Minseok, oh, his hyung. He did not look surprised, or confused, or upset, or sad. No. He looked disappointed under the composure that he had surprisingly shown before that event.

“Junmyeon,” Minseok pronounced and the aforementioned headed as if bewitched to him.

“Why?” It was the only thing the leader could articulate.

Minseok sighed heavily and denied, he did not respond, instead he put a careful hand on the defeated leader's cheek. Junmyeon nodded as if understanding what the older had said without words and was immediately gathering everyone in the room.

“Come on,” Junmyeon said with strength regained. “Family meeting.”

Baekhyun looked in the direction of his little hyung, busy in the kitchen preparing a good coffee for everyone, before lowering his head and walking sadly into the room.

“I know you want to know what happened,” Junmyeon said as an introduction. “The reality is that we must wait for SM to speak and give the correct version of the facts.”

Luhan shifted uncomfortably in his place and immediately Minseok's hand had landed on his shoulder. Luhan looked up to see him from his position behind him, Baekhyun saw how with a look Luhan almost begged Minseok for something and only with his presence seemed to eliminate all traces of emotions in Luhan.

“Who wants coffee?” He asked.

Many raised their hands. Baekhyun was not one of them.

Minutes later his hyung returned with cups to distribute and although Baekhyun had not tasted it, he had no doubt that it was delicious.

Minseok's gentle hands left Zitao's noticeably larger cup accompanied by a couple of cookies in his lap and then went to wipe the tears from his face with a dazzling affection and delicacy, then he slowly lowered his hand to the chin of the younger and with only a slight effort, he made him look at him.

“Do not get mad at him,“ Minseok whispered. “I do not want you to regret it later.”

But Zitao frowned, making it clear that he was upset.

“Okay, do it,” Minseok continued. “But I want you to know that he did not betray you and that I wanted to keep you from making a mistake, but it's your life. No matter what happens, I'm here.”

On second thought, how was it that he had been able to ignore the function of his hyung for so many years? He knew it, of course he knew it, even though he had not given it a moment in his thoughts, his subconscious grasped it and he knew that there was someone discretely, almost anonymously, acting unselfishly, even behind Junmyeon.

Junmyeon. What could he say about him? That human being so intelligent, patient, respectful, prudent, cunning, affectionate, careful, who lived always attentive to others, concerned about the problems of s, always alert so that as soon as someone fell he could help them raise immediately, the person who made many sacrifices for them and that had helped them succeed; all that and more was their beloved leader. And so incredible he was that they tended to forget that he also needed someone to lean on, more times than he would like to admit. And who was this someone who offered comfort and support for Junmyeon? Minseok.

Since he had a memory inside EXO, Baekhyun was sure he had not heard Junmyeon complain even once about being tired, or about how difficult it was to be a leader, he had not seen him ask for help or lose his peace of mind. Many times, however, he had seen him receive help from Minseok, in such a natural way, that it was really very difficult to get him to register, but if he thought about it, that was the support that Minseok always offered not only to Junmyeon, but to all of them; a little bit from the shadows, Minseok used to move the ropes to help his leader and make everything go well always.

He had not been able to see, not even by mistake, any strong or heartbreaking scene among EXO's now-eldest hyungs. He had never seen a Minseok destroyed in the arms of the leader or vice versa and that made him wonder if one of the two was ever allowed to break. The answer after thinking a lot was: Junmyeon did, Minseok did not.

Baekhyun had often seen Junmyeon discuss problems with the elder, he had seen him share some concerns, and very rarely had he seen the leader show a barely noticeable sad or defeated attitude with Minseok, which probably meant that if sometime it had existed a collapse from him, it was Minseok who had to live it.

On the other hand, he had never seen the elder hyung share any sadness with anyone, not even with Junmyeon and it was impossible not to think if Minseok really had any feelings at all. It was absurd to even think about it, but it seemed inconceivable to imagine a broken, desperate Minseok and it was sadly until now, after years of knowing him, that he had deciphered that he was simply an extremely good person, it had taken him time to see that he was blessed to have him in his life, because if Junmyeon seemed strong to him, Minseok was something completely supernatural: always silent, without attracting attention because he did not need it, acting as an undercover for the benefit of all, being completely disinterested, just looking forward to take care of them and help others.

That was Kim Minseok. And Baekhyun thought that calling him guardian angel was more appropriate.

Because the function of an angel was to care for and watch over everyone. And that was exactly what Minseok did all the time.

With every claim he received on behalf of everyone, without complaining.

They had been practicing the new choreography since the morning and it was natural that at this point in the day they were tired and refused to continue practicing. His way of distracting them was to play in the practice room and the hallways, without worrying at all about continuing with the rehearsal. As expected, Baekhyun and Chanyeol had started with disaster when they saw them all lying in different positions on the floor, devastated; his intention had been to encourage them and lighten the atmosphere and that had ended with everyone having fun around the place, until their manager arrived, that is.
Everyone stopped doing what they were doing waiting for a scolding or reprimand for not having been working, but that was not what happened.

“Minseok,” the manager spoke in a serious voice, similar to a father about to scold his son for doing something wrong.
Minseok looked in the manager's direction with his eyes open how big they were, expectant, but gentle. The manager did not have to say anything, except to make a slight nod to tell him to follow him.

“Yes, boojang,” the hyung responded almost automatically, lowering his head and walking behind him.

Baekhyun remembered a scene from his childhood when he saw that. Baekbeom, his brother, always used to be the one who got scold even if it was not his fault at all or not entirely, but he never complained, he just followed his father right after he called him by his name in a very serious tone, similar to the one their manager had used seconds before.
All had returned to te rehearsal after that, Junmyeon had hastened them to resume their positions and try only a little bit more.

Not more than thirty minutes had passed, when Baekhyun had to leave to drink some water. After walking down long corridors, he saw the manager and Minseok leaving an office.

“It will not happen again, manager-nim,” he heard his hyung say.

“You are the eldest, Minseok, it is you who should lead and set an example to follow. I do not want this to repeat again.”

“It will not.”

With each punishment that he accepted to receive as long as they did not receive it, unalterable.

“Why is Chanyeol not here?”

Everyone turned to see each other, Baekhyun could see Junmyeon putting his mind to work at a thousand percent to think of a quick response.

But it was Minseok who thought faster and interrupted them from their thoughts to take the reins.

“I told him not to come.”

“Why?”

“He was very tired and he was feeling down,” he excused. “I was afraid that it was an imminent illness and I told him that it would be better for him to rest so that tomorrow he could come without risk of getting sick.”

That was not the truth, the truth was that Chanyeol had gone partying the night before and maybe he had gone a little bit -too much-far, and in the morning he had not been able to react. It was not something that happened frequently, it was rather the first time it happened and although Junmyeon had asked him to get up once he had given him a headache pill and given him a glass of water and a good plate of food, Chanyeol remained unable to incorporate.

“Can we talk?” The manager asked and Minseok immediately went with him, saying nothing.

The rest of the members looked at the door surprised, maybe even a little scared, there was no doubt that he would receive an unfair scolding for something he had not even done.

With every attention he gave them hoping to ease their pain a bit or make them happy, benevolent.

“Hey, Jonginnie,” Baekhyun looked up to find a Minseok speaking to the dancer and carrying a couple of things in his hands, what seemed to be a small cushion and ointment.

“What's wrong, hyung?” Jongin responded by diverting his attention from the television.

“I have something for you,” he lifted the things in his hands a little. “Come, let's go to your room.”

Jongin followed him limping very slightly until they entered his bedroom and Baekhyun followed them closely.

“I don't want to be left alone,” Baekhyun complained as a small boy getting comfortable in Jongin's bed, right next to him, without invitation.

Minseok had placed an ointment specifically for the pain to reduce the inflammation in Jongin's ankle, with an impressive delicacy, covering every space the pain invaded, massaging only hard enough to cause friction and make the area warm. Then he had carefully bandaged the limb, holstered his foot in a long, warm sock, and finally put on a warm compress to relieve the pain.

“Do you want a coffee?” He offered and Jongin nodded like a spoiled child.

“Yes, please, hyung.”

And Minseok had prepared it for him.

“Do you want me to order food?”
Jongin nodded again and Minseok ordered food.

By ten o'clock at night, Jongin was wrapped in his sheets with his foot carefully placed on a cushion to give him the necessary lift and prevent it from swelling. Baekhyun watched everything from the doorway and pouted when Minseok kissed Jongin's forehead before retreating and closing the door.

“Why don't you do the same for me?” Baekhyun asked.

“Because you are not hurt,” he replied simply.

“Mmm,” he growled, pouting again.

“There's your sushi,” Minseok said, pointing to the table behind him.

“What?” Baekhyun asked feeling misplaced.

“The sushi that I ordered for you,” he clarified.

Baekhyun changed his expression completely and smiled making his eyes almost disappear with happiness.

“Thanks, hyung!” He exclaimed, jumping on top of him.

“What am I going to do with you, kiddo?” Minseok questioned to no one in particular.

“Love me,” he replied in the most childlike way possible.

“I already do.”

With every concern he always put in the members, making sure to pay attention to their feelings to give them what they need, even without them asking for it.

“How was it today, Kyungsoonnie?” Minseok asked with that adorable face he possesses while wrapping Kyungsoo in a hug that looked delicious.

“Very well,” he yawned shortly, almost trying to stop it. “I think we will start recording sooner than we thought, today we advanced a good part in the script reading.”

Minseok nodded, looking interested in what the younger was telling him. Baekhyun took the opportunity to sneak behind them to the kitchen to eat some of what Minseok had prepared for dinner, because... well... Baekhyun, right?

“Baekhyun,” he heard the older man's voice and froze in action, one foot stretched to take a step. “Do not touch anything.”

“How did you see me?”

“I know you.”

Baekhyun opened his eyes comically, trapped.

“Did you make dinner?” Kyungsoo questioned leaving his bag on a chair, clearly out of place, as he was the one who always made the meals and that night was no exception, although Baekhyun could feel he was tired, almost exhausted, he had arrived with all the intention to do his normal activities, only to find that their hyung had already taken care of that.

“Sure!” He exclaimed. “And it's your favourite,” he bragged. “It probably doesn't come close to how delicious your food is, but I tried, because I knew you would come tired and because,” he lowered his voice, “it's my way of congratulating you on what you're doing.”

Kyungsoo had only shown his heart-shaped smile widely and had embraced him.

“Thanks, hyung.”

Even if it did not show up so easily, it was very hard not to imagine Minseok helping someone in any way, he was such a pure and disinterested being that Baekhyun's heart ached at the thought of it. He could evoke any thought about him, any image, any scene, and all he could think of was his hyung always serving others.

Like when Yixing hurt his back and suffered those horrible pains, Minseok was always at his side at night after a long day providing him with a massage or some food, probably his best coffee.

“Hyung?”

And Minseok came to the call.

“Would you give me some coffee?”

And the coffee appeared on his nightstand after fifteen minutes.

Or simply attentive to any minimal complaint that came from his lips to run beside him to help him.

“I can't move,” a Yixing emitting a pout would say.

“Don't do it,” Minseok used to reply. “I'll take care of you.”

And he provided Yixing of medicine, a bandage or heat if necessary.

“Can you help me put on the ointment” 

And Minseok's magical hands did not take long to work agile on his back.

Baekhyun could not help but wonder if Yixing had someone to take care of him in the same way back in China, he was not sure that he would maintain the necessary rest when the pain returned or that he was careful to warm up compresses to decrease his pain, but what he did know was that Minseok made sure to talk to him often or send him messages reminding him what to do, asking him to please be careful, that he did not have to demand his body too much or that he took advantage of not being in presentations currently or in a tight schedule to get some rest, he did not want Yixing to go through the same thing Zitao had gone through.

“I'll cover up for you,” Minseok mused in an almost pleading tone. “Please, Zitao.”

The aforementioned turned around in his place and looked at him defeated.

“I know you're the best human being that exists, the perfect hyung that everyone wants and everybody should have,” he paused and Minseok looked at him expectantly. “But I can't, hyung,” he shook his head. "I can not take advantage of that, you've done so many things for me and for this group already, I can not allow you to get shot because of me.”

“I'm your hyung,” Minseok remarked. “That's what I do.”

“And you do it so incredibly well,” Zitao admitted melancholic.

“Then let me help you, I'll cover up for you while you rest, you don't have to leave the group-”

“It's not my decision,” the Chinese cut him off. “At least not completely.”

“Tao...” Baekhyun whispered, who had been waiting for both of them to be able to leave for the studio. “Don't do it,” he pleaded. “Don't leave me.“

“Baekhyun,” Minseok said in a firm tone. “Go outside, I won't be long.”

But clearly Baekhyun at that time could not hear him, much less could make his body follow his orders.

“Zitao,” Minseok said. “I would take bullets for you, for any of the members.”

“I know.”

“Then you know you can give all of us at least one last chance,” he paused for a long time. “I'll take care of the rest.”

The Chinese turned his back on them for a brief second and put his hands on his waist, also running his tongue down his bottom lip, thinking. He looked over his shoulder after at least a minute and answered.

“I'll stay one more month,” he decreed. “And then I'll leave.”

Baekhyun sobbed in his place on the other side of the door.

“I'm sorry,” he said. “I do not intend to stay.”

“Rest,” Minseok said mildly as always. “We'll see you when we're done.”

Zitao nodded as the older man turned around to leave the room.

“Hyung,” he called before Minseok could leave completely.

“Yes?”

“I'm sorry, for the punishment you're probably going to receive.”

“For having you one more month with us,” Minseok said and smiled not only with his mouth but also with his catlike eyes, “it is worth it.“

Yes. Minseok intended to receive many shots as long as his dongsaengs did not have to live them. Although there were many things he could not avoid receiving, even if he did not said it out loud, Baekhyun now knew it and it had been thanks to that time with Zitao and to the claim Jungsoo had once made as well.

They had been on the Star Show 360 and Yixing had given a very accurate description of Minseok, mentioning very briefly some of the things he used to do for them and Jungsoo had made a comment that had left him thinking for days.

“He receives the first blow.”

Minseok's smile had faded a bit at the comment and he saw him nodding to himself, looking sad.

That had probably been the only time he had 'admitted' something of what he had to go through, something he had to live with and the look in those long eyes to Baekhyun had seemed to scream for some help and understanding.

“What were you doing out this late?” Baekhyun inquired when he saw his hyung enter the main door at two in the morning.

“What are you doing awake?” Minseok countered.

“I asked first.”

Minseok smiled, tired.

“I went out with some friends,” he said after a sigh.

“And why did Sehun tell me he had seen you leave with staff members?”

Minseok shot him a serious look, like a cat when someone is annoying him.

“They like to drink with me,” he admitted.

“Why? Because you are a good drinker?” Baekhyun smiled playfully as always.

“I suppose,” Minseok smiled back, shrugging his shoulders before letting out a yawn.

“And what do you talk about?” He asked like an eight-year-old boy who asks a lot 'and, why? And, why?' all the time.

“Things you are not meant to know,” Minseok replied like a mother, lightly pinching Baekhyun's soft cheek. “Go to sleep,” he said in a motherly voice. “It's late.”

“Yes, Mom,” said a resigned Baekhyun walking slowly with all his sorrow to his room, he put his hand on the handle and turned it to open the door, and before he could enter completely he looked over his shoulder at Minseok observing him, as he kept an eye on him until he fulfilled his order and then he smiled at him.

Once inside, Baekhyun stuck his ear to the door with a faint hope of hearing something, whatever, and he froze in his place when he did.

“Luhan...” that was Minseok's voice.

“Minseok-ah,” now that was Luhan. There was a pause. “You know?”

“And I'm supposed to help Junmyeon once... 'this' happens.”

“Don't worry,” Luhan asked. “You'll be fine without me.”

Minseok said nothing and Baekhyun urged himself not to cry, he did not want a member to leave, he could not even think about it and yet he was hearing it.

“I'm not leaving because of you, you know that, hyung.”

“I know. It seems I know many things nowadays,” Baekhyun could perceive a faint trace of sadness in his voice. “Or I'm supposed to know them, anyways.”

“Minseok...”

“Being the oldest involves many implicit tasks and obligations, it's not like with Junmyeon, he had established duties that he knew from the beginning that he had to endure because they go along with the title of leader. There are things, however, that I did not know that I should do. It feels like I'm acting on everyone's back or independently of everyone just because I have to be the first to know what will happen.”

“Without you, hyung,” Luhan began, “I'm sure that even Junmyeon could not stand it, he could not do it all alone. I'm sorry for what you have to endure, but I admire you.”

“I'll miss you, Luhannie,” Minseok muttered and Baekhyun could not hear even a slight break in his voice, despite being sure of how distressed he was, Baekhyun himself would surely be crying rivers.

“I'm going to miss you too, hyung.”

“And, please, do not be sorry for what I have to go through,” Minseok asked. “If it's for you, absolutely everything is worth it.”

And as Baekhyun had heard, days later, Luhan's departure was becoming a reality, everyone was deeply saddened and Sehun was crying, but Minseok was prepared for this and was already offering a padded place for Sehun to fall without hurting himself, very similar to the shelter he had offered to Baekhyun months later when Zitao left.

“Can I snuggle with you?” Either one of the two asked standing on the other side of the couch with his hands in front of his abdomen as he interlaced his fingers in a nervous sway, for some reason asking Minseok for this kind of thing caused unexplained nerves.

“Of course,” Minseok answered then and with a slight smile painted on his lips and with his penetrating but welcoming gaze he invited them to sit next to him and let them curl up at his side, letting their legs go up to his, placing their head in the gap between his neck and shoulder and pass their arms around his torso, allowing them to cling to him as much as possible, like the beautiful hyung he was, always present and ready to succour.

But now, for the first time in the years they had been together, Minseok would be absent. And Baekhyun could not help but find himself in the same position he used to go to when he felt sad after a member's last departure. He clung to Minseok's small but muscular body with all his being in the armchair of the room, unable to let go.

“Baek,” Minseok spoke. “It's still a little over a month away,” he said and the younger, despite not having been watching, could hear the smile in his voice.

“I don't care,” he answered and clung even more to him if that was possible.

“I will be back tomorrow and in a couple of weeks I will go with you to the presentations,” he said. “I'll see you in the rehearsals, too.”

Baekhyun opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by Jongdae landing on the other side of Minseok.

“Chennie chennie,” Minseok greeted him with a cheerful tone and a smile. “What's going on?”

“The album is ready physically,” he explained smiling with his characteristic catlike smile.

“Congratulations!” Minseok exclaimed. “It's beautiful, I know it.”

“Thank you...” Jongdae whispered placing for a few seconds his head on Minseok's shoulder.

“It's just the truth, right Baekhyunnie?”

“Yes!”

And it was true, Baekhyun could not help thinking that the songs that would be released soon had been written and designed specifically for Jongdae's special angelic voice.

“But thank you,” he repeated. “For all the help you've given me, you know, making the album and all that.”

Minseok had been with Jongdae every step of the way to create Jongdae's first solo album to ensure a successful debut. No other member had been as present as Minseok, reassuring him when he was stressed because some part of the chorus he was writing did not sound good, accompanying him in the recordings and photo sessions, spending hours with him locked in his study, making sure he ate enough and slept enough too, giving encouragement every day and much more.

“Without me you would probably die,” Minseok annoyed him and Jongdae showed him his tongue in response, playful.

And yes. Without him everyone died.

Jongdae retired to his room to rest and take advantage of what was left of his day off, that was rather the reason why Minseok was in the bedrooms with them, he had taken the day off to spend some time with them and—as always—take care of them. From very early in the morning he had come to help Kyungsoo with breakfast and had helped clean up. Why did he do all this when he had the full faculty to stay in his comfortable apartment doing absolutely nothing or enjoying his independence and taking advantage to get some time off from the hard work of being the oldest, as Junmyeon did? Baekhyun had no idea and if he had it he would probably only say that it was Minseok and nothing about him could be completely understood.

“Take me with you,” Baekhyun asked as a baby.

Minseok looked down from his position in the sofa to see him in the eyes, as if analysing him and after what seemed like eternal minutes, he answered:

“Let's go,” he gestured with his head for him to stand up. “Before I regret it.”

Baekhyun practically jumped out of the couch and ran to his room to grab his things and run off faster than he had ever run before reaching his hyung at the door.

The rest of the day was spent in Minseok's immaculate apartment, the elderly slightly stressed and anxious to have him as a visit, Baekhyun could see that Minseok internally asked any divine force for him, please, not make his apartment a mess and he tried not to do it to avoid bothering his hyung.

At night, after several bottles of soju, Baekhyun was not in his five senses properly, although Minseok had consumed the same amount of alcohol, he looked perfectly fine, unaffected in the least.

“I think we should go to sleep,” Minseok suggested but Baekhyun knew it was a disguised order.

“Mmm,“ Baekhyun mused. “But I like to be with youuuuu,” he said, extending the 'u'.

Minseok laughed so slightly that he almost confused it with a purr. Everything about him seemed to be feline, from his delicate features to his manners, tender and playful when he proposed it and of a malicious nature when he entered into trust, doing things enigmatically, independently, agile and intelligent.

“Actually, I do not want you to leave,” Baekhyun took advantage to approach the issue of his departure, feeling traumatised by how imminent the event was, he had never really considered it before, even though he knew it almost by default , but being in the group everything seemed to be a dream and their good years seemed to have no end. They had survived the departure of three members, but they needed to live the military service that each and every one of them should face eventually, now sooner rather than later and the beginning would be marked with the entry of Minseok in a few weeks.

“Baekhyun,” Minseok chided. “I already told you that there is still time, do not stress yet.”

“But is just that,” he interrupted and took a deep breath to stop the tear that threatened to leave his eye, now feeling very much like crying. “It will not be the same without you.”

“Hey,” he reproached in a whisper that did not feel like a rebuke at all. “I'm not leaving the group, I'll be back,” he remarked. “And I'm sure you'll manage perfectly well without me.”

Mmm no. Baekhyun was not so sure about that last part.

“I don't think so, hyung...”

“Why not?” He questioned without really expecting an answer. “Come on, you do not need me to move forward.”

That's exactly the problem, hyung, we do need you.

“You will not be missing much,” Minseok said in a barely audible voice, his head bowed but not looking completely sad as it was the first time Baekhyun had witnessed this facet of him. It occurred to him only then that, his hyung was not as strong to himself as he was to others, that is, he already knew that he was shy and that sometimes he did not trust his abilities too much, but he never let a hesitation escape, he preferred to be as confident and as brave as he could even if inside he was dying of fear. Because, yes, Minseok was afraid of many things and although Baekhyun had rarely been able to perceive it very lightly, he knew it and was burning to let him know that he did not have to doubt himself. So he simply threw himself into his arms, taking advantage of the moment and the alcohol and what it had caused to his senses, was gifting him.

“I love you, hyung,” he said almost in a whisper. “You are the best hyung, friend and human being on the entire planet.”

Minseok opened his eyes at his words and Baekhyun could not avoid passing the back of his hand over his temple, framing his eyes.

“You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen,” he confessed, watching him from his place with his head on Minseok's legs. “They are like those of a cat.”

Minseok could not help laughing this time at the words that left the mouth of his dongsaeng so easily, he had always wished he could do the same, but it was not in his personality.

“Enough, Baek, you don't know what you're saying.”

“But of course I know,” he argued as Minseok removed a lock of hair from his forehead. “I know perfectly well that you are the strongest person in the world.”

“I'm not,” he replied in a tone of voice that for the first time Baekhyun thought had sounded weak. He said nothing and just stared at him for a long time, with dreamy eyes, that Minseok did not dare to interrupt.

His eyes did not show completely the sweetness that most of the time tend to show, even without losing his sense and maturity, they showed a barely visible clue of something else... worry maybe, tiredness, disappointment, sadness, stress.

Hours later Junmyeon was showing up in the dorms after being away for a good part of the day and everyone knew that news was approaching, but they did not know exactly what to expect. Everyone had taken a seat in the living room, as they used to do each time they had to discuss something within the group. Strangely the only one who did not seem out of place was Minseok.

“What's wrong, Junmyeon hyung?” Sehun asked with a frown.

“It's nothing that should be discussed, do not worry,” he reassured with a shadowy countenance. “It's more news.”

No one said anything.

“Everyone knows about the current situation between Korea and China, right?” Everyone nodded. “Well, I must announce that Yixing will not be with us for an indefinite period of time, it is a decision that was just made by himself and SM.”

Everyone knew that it was only a matter of time before SM decided to take action with the political tension in both countries, but Yixing had not done anything official between them before going to China and that saddened them.

“I don't really know how long this will last or when he will return, but I hope it will be soon,” the leader wished in front of everyone, showing that he was sensitive as always, communicating that he was also sad and that he would be their shoulder to lean on as always.

Baekhyun frowned, letting his mind fly to the day a couple of weeks ago, when Yixing was leaving the dormitories to go to China. Everyone was a bit sad as each member had to retire and go to fulfill other commitments elsewhere, they always missed each other, however, the older member remained peaceful, without leaving Yixing's side. Just before the dancer crossed the door behind the staff members who would accompany him, Minseok stopped him by subtly placing a hand on his arm to whisper some words that could not be heard, Yixing then clung to his touch and responded in an almost prayer like way. Minseok had nodded to that and finally said goodbye leaving a protective kiss on the Chinese forehead, letting him step through the door.

Baekhyun looked across the room, right in front of him on the other side, Minseok was nodding to himself already knowing the news.

Yes. Minseok was always—or almost always—the first one to receive the blow, not for nothing did the managers loved him so much and spent good times out of work with him. Baekhyun was almost certain that anything that should become known in the group passed first by Minseok as a filter and then by Junmyeon or vice versa, and it seemed logical, since the oldest would remain the oldest no matter what, nothing or no one would take away those years lived and the experience that had acquired before all the others as well as the maturity.

“You must not be so strong for others,” Baekhyun said seriously, almost like a scolding. “You forget about yourself.”

“Baek,” Minseok murmured, passing his hand through his strands of hair. “I am your hyung,” he affirmed the undeniable. “I will always take care of you.”

“You always take care of everyone, but...” He paused for a couple of seconds. “Who takes cares for you?”
Minseok smiled motherly in his direction and put his hand on the cheek of the, oh, so little Baekhyun in his arms at that moment.

“You all already do it,”he replied simply.

“But hyung,” Baekhyun clung to the hand on his face with all his being, afraid that Minseok would leave him. “I want you to know...”

“What, Baekhyun?”

“That you are amazing.”

“You are amazing to-” he flattered back but was interrupted by the child sitting abruptly while covering his mouth cutting his sentence scandalised.

“No!” He exclaimed. “Shhh,” he placed his index finger on Minseok's defined lips in a gesture of silence. “I'm talking. And I was saying you're better than you think.”

“What are you trying to do?”

Now he could say that Minseok was beginning to hide behind his insensitive 'me' on the subject that Baekhyun was trying to approximate.

“Just, please,” Baekhyun pleaded in a voice filled with pain that Minseok had never heard from him. “Please know your inmensurable worth, every breath you take is exquisite.”

Minseok swallowed hard, the words getting stuck in his throat, unable to make their way out of his mouth.

“Please, hyung,” he repeated in a thin voice, closing his eyes to let out a lonely tear from his sad-looking orbs. “Please,” he repeated, laying a hand on Minseok's. “Remember this when you are in your service.”

Baekhyun did not open his eyes as he spoke those words or as he took the slightly smaller hand of his hyung between his. He only opened them once he felt Minseok's thumb wipe the tear from his cheek and the first thing he saw were his catlike eyes looking through his with intensity.

The next thing he remembers is finding himself wrapped in the most comfortable cushion with Minseok at his side cradling his head with his arm. He took a few seconds to appreciate him, his face was already washed of any impurities that had taken place during the day, his hair fell disheveled in strands and a comfortable pajamas very similar to the one Baekhyun wore, was already keeping him warm, the nights in his flat were pretty cold. At what moment did Baekhyun change his clothes? He had no idea, but he knew he had to thank Minseok.

“Hyung,” he spoke and those cat eyes settled on him, piercing his being.

“Yes?”

“Your value remains constant, whether it is seen or not,” he said with his tongue slightly stuck. “I want you to know that.”
Minseok did not respond, but Baekhyun did not consider it rude.

“Will you cry when you leave?” Baekhyun asked in the silence, playing with Minseok's pajama shirt.

“Probably,” he admitted.

“Do you cry, hyung?” The question sounded silly, not only because of Baekhyun's current state, but because of what he questioned and Minseok could not help but laugh.

“Of course I do.”

“But I've only seen you,” he stopped to count awkwardly while squinting to see and think better. “Two times?” He did not affirmed it because he could not coordinate, taking into account that he had raised three fingers and not two as he had said, and he could not remember the exact times, it could have been five, or six or... no, impossible to think. He only remembered that time at a CBX concert, when the fans had prepared a surprise for them, but at that moment he had not known how to react, something like this had never happened, should he hug him? Cheer him up? Show compassion? He did not know it. “Why don't you cry, hyung? You are very strong, right? That's why you don't do it.”

“Strength comes from the moment you can not go on, but you keep going anyway,” Minseok said once while exercising. “When you feel you're about to stop, that's when you should go for more.”

“I do it my way, Hyunnie,” Minseok replied simply.

Baekhyun turned his body to lie on his side to appreciate better his delicate features, looking for a trace of something else, something that answered to all his doubts, to clarify why he remained so impassible even when time ran off for him, that told him how it was that he could be such a strong pillar for the group or why it was so good. Something, just something that made him look more human, a little less perfect.

And is just that that was his mistake. He tended to see hI’m too perfect, too unattainable perhaps, because of the countless works he did and his way of being, without realising that that was what made him so human, so sensitive and so tangible.

“Do me a favor, hyung?” Even though it was not a question, he formulated his sentence with intonation. Minseok nodded making a sound with his throat. “Keep filling this world with reasons to breathe. Return safe from the army.”

Now he swore, he could swear for the first time, that he saw him change his look, that a melancholy and slightly sad feeling made its way through his eyes, like a shooting star. And for the first time he saw his eyes flood with tears with him, for him and because of him.

“No!” Baekhyun exclaimed in his awkward, scandalised state, making a pout about to cry too. “Do not cry, Minseok,” he made sure not to use the 'hyung', making it a little more personal.

He approached him with great care, taunting the ground, hoping not to scare him and be received and when Minseok remained in his place calm, without putting any barrier, waiting and inviting him, Baekhyun finished approaching posing a loving hand on his cheek, cleaning the few tears that his beautiful eyes had left.

“I'm sorry,” Minseok apologised, lending his face even more to Baekhyun's comforting hand.

“You don't have to do it,” he smiled at him with his tender puppy face. “I just want you to know how much you're worth it.”

“Thank you,” he whispered, letting one last tear to make its lonely path down his left cheek, before readjusting his position on the bed. “I want you to be happy, do everything you can and want before it's your turn to leave.”

Baekhyun shook his head.

“No, no. This is about you, not about me.”

It was Minseok's turn to deny.

“It's not. Everything is about you, what matters most to me is your well-being and happiness,” he smiled melancholic, resembling a father saying goodbye to his children. “I want them to be fine while I'm not here.”

“I can't promise you that,” he replied between weak laughter.

Minseok smiled at him.

He snuggled back to his side, very close to his body, seeking the comfort that his little hyung always offered only with his presence. After a few minutes, Minseok fell asleep, but it was not possible for Baekhyun to fall asleep and he found himself thinking...

He was going to miss him, but nothing lasted forever, eventually they would be together again and all the adventures would continue. He could not say, no matter how much he wanted to convince himself, that his life in the group was not going to be a disaster for at least the first few days, after all, Minseok was always the one who moved them and cared for them from the darkness, never with the intention to seek recognition or something else, he was not ambitious or anything like it and yet he was too strong and confident, though shy and introverted. His hyung was a strange paradox and antithesis that fascinated him and moved till the last neuron in his brain, someone he longed to understand but knew he could never do it.

People see in the world what they carry in their hearts and he was sure that Minseok had the purest heart in the world because it was impossible for him not to see the good in others.

That was his hyung.

That was Minseok.

And there was no more.

Minseok's eyelashes gently caressed his cheeks as his eyes were closed, his chest lifted in slow movements as he breathed and his body stayed relaxed, he remained motionless. Baekhyun bent down to place a small, brief kiss on his cheek, just in the corner of his mouth, full of all the feeling in the world, wanting to convey everything he felt for him and how grateful he was with him.

He closed his eyes before moving away and settling back into place, now ready to sleep.

Minseok smiled in his sleep.

 

Some things in life like some people are not meant to be fully understood. So for now it's best we call them miracles.