Byulyi POV

When I was on my way to the company, I got a call from Heeyeon. First of all, I did not want to take the call because lately, she was trying to pair me with other girls. It was not like that I did not like it, no, quite the opposite. It was interesting and always an adventure, but I could never really develop feelings for the other person. My heart still has not healed completely and besides, I do not want to scare them off with my problems. Back to the call. After the seventh ring, I decided to pick it up. Normally she would only ring five times but having not hung up must mean that it's quite important.

“Annyeonghaseyo. What’s the matter?”

“Thank God you picked up your cell phone. Byul … something has happened to Yongsun-Unnie.”

As Heeyeon said those words, I felt my world spinning. What happened? How did it happen? What did she do? Did somebody hurt her? All these questions were spinning around in my head and only Heeyeon could answer them, but I was too absorbed in my own universe, that I had forgotten to ask her my questions.

After what seemed like five minutes, I regained my composure and decided to speak up.

“Are you still there? Hello? Can I get an answer?”

“Oh . Sorry Heeyeon, I completely forgot you. What happened to Yongsun? How did you know that something happened? Did somebody hurt her?”

As I asked these questions, I could feel myself getting worked up. Even though I said that I would no longer be in contact with Yongsun, I could still not completely erase her from my mind. She was somebody I truly loved, and I wished that our love could have lasted forever, but I had to screw it up. It was all my fault and I could not live with the guilt, but at the same time, I wanted to be with her. But being with her would mean to hurt her in any possible way. She would always remember the bad things I did, and I am pretty sure, that someday, she would no longer feel the love for me.

She would feel the hate, she has against me, because I'm to blame for everything. She will have to look at me every day with the sad and hateful eyes. Every day to see the person who took everything away from her. Had I been her, I certainly would not have been able to forgive myself. I would not ask her to forgive me either. She has every reason to hate me, but when I apologized to her and said farewell, she wanted me to stay. She wanted me to be there for her and help her through a difficult time, but I just could not do it. I can understand that she does not want me to disappear from her life forever, but to be with me would mean to hold on to the horrible memories forever.

“Ehm. I did some research about her as soon as you told me her name. I am sorry that I did that, but you have to hear me out. You were no longer in the right mind. You did not sleep and drank more than you should. I tried to stop you, but you didn’t want to listen. Even Sunmi and Seulgi tried to hinder you to drink more, but you were too stubborn. You also didn’t want to tell us her name, as you didn’t want us to hate her, but in your drunken state, your tongue slipped, and you mentioned her in one of the stories. I tried to set you up with other girls but most of the time you refused or meant that you did not have time, which is a complete lie. because everyone knows that you have more time in life than anyone else. you have lost more and more weight and your appetite has never returned. You have always peeled off in bars and did not want to talk to anyone. It was hard for us to see how you were getting worse and worse. I am sorry that I didn’t tell you the truth, but you have to listen to me now.”

“Wait a minute. Heeyeon, I understand your concern, but it was not your right to spy on Yongsun. Even though my life was pretty miserable after she told me that every