We started eating dinner in the living room and I sat next to my love, Jennie.

Yes. It's Kim Jennie, the love of my life.

Many students already noticed our closeness among the group and I always choose her in everything. I can't just help it though she always choose Jisoo or Chaeyoung over me. She rarely picks me but it's okay. It hurts a bit but I don't expect anything from her. Besides, Jisoo and Chaeyoung are our best friends too. We are all close to each other, just different level. I guess.

For me, Kim Jennie is everything. I know I'm being hopeless romantic. I just want to be with her in everything I do. I remember when she spent her vacation with me in Thailand. That was really amazing being with her in my hometown. I was really happy she followed me there.

The best part was I got her solo. Just me and her.

We stayed at our house and we slept in my room together.

I showed her our culture and she was willing to try everything I suggested.

I am comfortable with her though she makes my heart beats crazily. She always makes me nervous when she's being close and touchy to me. I wish I can say that she's being clingy like a girlfriend and she just wants my attention. Oh, how I really wish.

I woke up from my reverie when Jennie spoke "Gifts! Let's give our gifts to Lisa!" She excitedly squealed.

"Yeah!" Jisoo cheered.

Then they took their wrapped gifts. First, Jisoo gave her gift. I tore the wrapper then saw a box, it's a tea set with tea bags.

Yay! This is so good!

"Oh my gosh! A tea set!" I hugged the box and I can't stop smiling. "Thank you so much Jisoo unnie! I really like this! You really know what I want!" I blew her kisses.

Then Chaeyoung handed me her gift, I gladly accepted it and it's kinda heavy. I tore the wrapper then my eyes went round when I saw it.

I can't-!

It's a camera! DSLR camera!

"Uuwwooww! A camera!" I was speechless.

I became careful opening the box and saw the precious thing. I knew it's expensive, it's Nikon D5600!

"Wooow... it looks really expensive," Jisoo commented.

"Yeah..." Jennie flatly agreed.

Chaeyoung smiled at me "I know you really like photography so... there it is... I hope you like it."

"No... I don't like it," I countered.

Chaeyoung frowned and they looked at me, puzzled.

"I don't like it because I love it!" I squealed. "Oh my gosh Chaeng! This is too much!"

"No it's just nothing. I mean, you deserve it," Chaeyoung replied.

"Awee... so sweet. Come! Come my Rosé! Come my little chipmunk! Come! Give me a kiss! Give me a kiss!" I playfully said.

Chaeyoung made face like she doesn't want it "Nah, you gonna slap me again!"

"No,  Rosé!" I put her gift on the table, I stood up and walked to her. I hugged her and kissed her on cheek.

"You're so sweet my little Rosé, thank you," I faced her and her cheeks had the shade of red.

"Y-you're welcome," she bashfully said.

I went back to my seat and Jennie looked different. She's kinda serious and cheerless.

I was waiting for her to give me her gift but she was silently staring into space.

"Jennie, your gift," Jisoo reminded her.

Jennie looked at me and I swear, my heart skipped a beat. She hesitantly handed me her gift and I excitedly accepted it.

"Thank you Jennie unnie," I quickly tore a wrapper and saw the box of Polaroid camera.

"Wooow... This is cool!

"I know it's nothing compare to Chaeyoung's gift," Jennie sadly said.

I frowned.

"Huh? My tea set gift is nothing compare to your gifts," Jisoo argued.

I frowned more.

"Wait wait wait! Guys... why are you comparing your gifts? For me, it's all equally valuable. I appreciate it because you put efforts and spent money just to buy me these things. Y'all know what I want and it really melts my heart. Thank you guys..." I sincerely said.

"All of your gifts are different but I promise to take care of it and use it with love," I added.

"Aweee... group hug!" Jisoo shouted.

And we group hugged. This is one of the best birthdays I've ever had.

Then something interrupted our sweet moment when Jennie's phone rang and vibrated. I guess, she received a message and we went back to our seats.

She read it and she smiled happily then she spoke "Um... guys, I need to go. Kai is already here. We have a dinner date with his parents."

.

ing . What?!

That broke my heart like really.

I stopped breathing or I might've cried.

"Huh? But it's Lisa's birthday..." Chaeyoung protested.

"I know but it's his parents. He will introduce me as girlfriend-"

"What?" Chaeyoung and Jisoo asked in chorus.

"I'm sorry guys but yes, me and Kai are dating now," she informed.

to .

Let me breathe. I need to breathe, please. There's something that twisting in my stomach. It's too much to handle, I want to vomit.

"That's ridiculous Jennie, you will leave us because of him? This is important for Lisa," Jisoo said annoyed.

"I know but-"

"It's okay Jennie unnie, you can go. It's fine, I know it's important to you and I'm happy for you," I managed to say then I gasped silently.

Jennie hugged me briefly "Thank you so much Lisa! Enjoy guys! Promise, I'll make it up to y'all! I have to go, bye!" She pecked my cheek then she stood up and rushed outside.

I gulped.

Stop Lisa! You can't cry right now! Not in front of them! They will ask why. . I encouraged myself.

"Are you okay Lisa?" Chaeyoung asked concerned as she moved and sat next to me.

I barely nodded.

"She's unfair... and she's dating Kai now?" Jisoo pouted.

"It's okay Jisoo unnie. It's really important, she will meet Kai's parents," I tried to defend Jennie.

"Nah, your birthday is important too," she argued.

"She's gone. Let's not talk about her. Let's just enjoy the night!" Chaeyoung cheered up.

"You know Chaeyoung, you're right," Jisoo agreed. "Let's have fun! The night is still young!"

So we enjoyed the night, we drank red wine while we sang using wireless karaoke microphone. We partied till we're out of energy. 

I'm happy to spend my special day with them but I know there's missing, it makes me feel bad because Jennie isn't here. I miss her but I know she's happy with Kai. It breaks me inside. I want to cry, I want to let it out but I can't. Sadly, I can't do that.

Obviously, I have no chance with her and I might lose our friendship if I ever confessed to her. It's sad but I already knew that this would happen. I anticipated this so I shouldn't be like this but this just hurts so much. 

I have to conceal this and withhold my feelings. One-sided love really .

After our crazy party, we all slumped on the sofa. We are tired but it's worth it. 

Somehow, the pain subsided because of these two pretty ladies with me. They make me happy and I am happy to have them.

"Thank you girls, I'm so happy right now," I sincerely said.

"You're welcome, you are our baby!" Jisoo exclaimed.

"By the way, I just remember... you said that you will confess something. What is it Lisa?" Chaeyoung suddenly asked.

I'm doomed.

Then my heart started to beat wildly, I became nervous and apprehensive.

"Oh yeah, I remember! What is it about?" Jisoo asked too.

"Um..." I swallowed silently. I was speechless and uncomfortable.

Chaeyoung sat properly then Jisoo did the same, they were curious.

I involuntarily sat properly but still, remained quiet.

"Tell us, I think it's important to you," Chaeyoung concluded.

How can I tell them that I'm gay?

Hey guys, I'm gay and I'm in love with Jennie unnie!

That's not how you say those things like it's just not a big deal because it is a BIG deal for me.

"Are you okay Lisa?" Chaeyoung held my arm and fondled it.

What will I do now?

It's now or never, Lalisa Manoban. You have to tell them the truth. 

"Is that really serious? Then you need to tell us what is it," Jisoo firmly stated. She sensed that I'm hesitating.

I pursed my lips "Promise me that you won't hate me if I tell the truth."

"Huh? Of course not! We will not hate you, I promise," Chaeyoung assured me.

Jisoo nodded in agreement.

Then tell them now, go!

I took a deep breathe "I'm gay," I said in a flash.

"What?!" They asked in unison. Maybe they didn't catch up.

"You're what?" Chaeyoung asked again.

"I'm gay," I repeated.

Then there was a silent moment, it was really breathtaking and I didn't dare to move.

"You are gay... so what? What's the problem?" Jisoo nonchalantly said.

"You're not mad?" I murmured.

"Why would I be? Right Chaeng?" Jisoo raised her right brow.

Chaeyoung merely nodded.

Jisoo unexpectedly hugged me "It's okay Lisa... we accept you no matter what you are. Nothing will change even if you're gay," she comforted me as she patted my back.

"Thank you unnie," I faced her. "But please, don't tell this to Jennie unnie. I'm not ready to tell her."

Jisoo frowned "But why? Jennie will understand and I know she will not judge you."

"I know but... just give me a little more time then I will tell her. Please?" I begged.

Jisoo sighed in defeat "Okay okay... we will not force you to tell her and we will not tell her because I think it's best that you're the one who needs to do that."

Chaeyoung abruptly stood up, she's acting a bit indifferent "I need to sleep now. I'm kinda feeling exhausted. Good night." She walked fast to our room.

Oh anyway, Chaeyoung is my roomie while Jisoo and Jennie are roommates.

What's wrong with Chaeng? I have a bad feeling about this. .

"Don't worry Lisa, you are our friend. Nothing will change between us. And about Jennie, I know her. She will accept you," Jisoo reassured me.

I nodded.

I hope Jisoo's right.


 

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