spoiler ig but tw for implied cheating 

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“Do you hate me?” Chaewon mumbled, her eyes trained on a stain on their couch from spilled Champagne. A relic from a happier time--a time for celebration. 

 Hitomi took a moment to think of an answer, twisting the engagement ring on her finger. She stared at the purple hyacinth that Chaewon brought home earlier. What was once a romantic gesture is now just a feeble attempt to ask for forgiveness.

She thought back to the mornings she cried into her coffee cup, the afternoons she wasted staring at her still phone, the nights she fell asleep alone. But is it really Chaewon’s fault? After all, the signs were there. She should have known. Hell, even Minju, the self-proclaimed “dense friend” mentioned something was fishy. 

--

“You two have been engaged for over a year now. And you two don’t even have a date yet.” Minju said, peering at the other girl over her cup of coffee. 

“She’s just been busy,” Hitomi shrugged, “she has barely been home. Work has been making her travel a couple cities over.” Minju hummed in response, a subtle frown upon her face. She tried to hide it behind the menu, but Hitomi was quick to notice. “What?” 

Minju shook her head in dismissal, “I shouldn’t think ill about Chaewon. She loves you. She’s a good girlfriend, and she will make an amazing wife.” 

“A perfect Mom,” Hitomi added. 

Minju chuckled, lightly smacking her shoulder. “Already thinking that far ahead?” 

“Of course! It’s nearly impossible for me to think of a future where she isn’t in it. Like, feel this.” Hitomi said, scooching closer to Minju, taking her right hand and gently placing it over her heart. “Do you feel that? My heart beats faster just when I think about her. It’s been years and she still makes me feel like this.” 

-- 

The silence in the room was deafening. They couldn’t even hear their neighbors, and for once, Hitomi missed their loud music. Her heart squeezed, the pain bringing a single tear to her eye. Hitomi sighed, and she shook her head. 

“I hate that you hurt me. I hate what I went through--what you put me through. Did you even question what you were doing?” Chaewon hung her head low as she took the punches, nodding her head knowing she was wrong--her actions were wrong. 

“Do you hate me?” She asked again

“Kim Chaewon,” A pause. “I don’t hate you. I don’t think I could even if I tried--even if I wanted to.” Chaewon looked up, meeting Hitomi’s eyes for the first time this night. Her shoulders slowly lifted, as if the weight of her actions were holding her back physically and not just mentally. 

“Can I hug you?” Chaewon asked, her voice a mere whisper. Hitomi nodded. Chaewon wrapped her arms around Hitomi’s torso, pulling her in close and resting her cheek against her shoulder. Hitomi reciprocated, pulling Chaewon as close as she could. Hitomi took a deep breath inhaling her scent which was now tainted with his cologne. Her stomach twisted. She wanted to throw up. What makes it even worse--what makes her gut twist in disgust--is she feels like she's in heaven being held by her. 

And it's so gut-wrenchin'

Fallin' in the wrong direction

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hi i actually wrote this a while back ((ssambbang jail has read this already)) but i felt kinda bad abt not releasing anything so here is this. its based off the song wrong direction by hailee steinfeld. check it out it hurts . but yea i miss izone sorry for angst teehee

also unrelated but i forgot how annoying it is to format on aff :|