A Word From The Author- Sorry for the really late update guys! I was a bit busy with my other fic and with some other things but anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, it came from the bottom of my heart lol it sounds cheesy i know, but it's true! :) I kinda, felt really sad writing it, but anyways enjoy! :D

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SangMi’s POV

I was having the best time ever. It had been a long while since I had spent some quality time with my best friend, and I was glad that we got to hang out today. I missed him so much over the summer, and I don’t know why. We had called each other frequently, but it just felt better to actually see him in person. His presence always makes me feel happy and alive.

I smiled widely as we walked out of Baskin Robbins messing around like we always had.

“Yah Jonghyun, can I ask you something?” I questioned as we walked towards a small park. The silence was killing me right now, so I decided to make conversation.

“Mmm?” He replied while meeting my gaze. His warm brown eyes were like a puppy’s, and I couldn’t help but smile.

“How would you describe the perfect girl for you?” That question was the first thing that popped into my head. I didn’t really put much thought into it before I spoke, but for some reason though, some part of my heart was kind of….wanting to know what his answer was.

That’s strange; I mean we’re just friends, so why do I need to know? Aish I’m so weird.I thought to myself as I waited for a response.

He looked a bit surprised at my question, and looked away.

“Yah, I asked you a question, answer me!” I pouted.

“Well, she should be smart, caring, kind, independent, and strong in her heart, loyal, pretty, and be able to cook.” He explained. I nodded my head in agreement.

“I would surely approve of a girl like that for my best friend!” I replied happily, but something tugging at my insides wanted his answer to be “You”.

Yah SangMi, are you stupid? Why are you thinking like that? He’s your best friend, and nothing more, so stop this nonsense. He’s just a friend, just a mere friend. EunSook is the one you truly love. I reminded myself and shook my head to clear my thoughts.

Jonghyun’s POV

Her angelic voice melted the silence that was brooding over us.

“How would you describe the perfect girl for you?” she asked innocently. A look of puzzlement overtook me as I looked away to avoid her gaze.

You. You, and purely everything that you are Cheon SangMi, is the definition of the perfect girl for me. If only you’d take the time to realize.

These words were what my heart was telling me at the moment as I blinked back my tears that had accumulated over the course of today.

“Yah, I asked you a question, answer me!” she repeated. Looking back at her, I faked a smile. I bit my lip and forced myself to give her a reply.

“Well, she should be smart, caring, kind, independent, and strong in her heart, loyal, pretty, and be able to cook.” I explained as she nodded her head in agreement.

“I would surely approve of a girl like that for my best friend!” She replied and smiled. Seeing that smile made my chest hurt, but I smiled back plastically.

“Yah, let’s go to that park and sit down, what do say?” I asked her while gesturing towards a bench next to a cherry blossom tree. She nodded her head and we went over to sit down. She looked around the park, marveling at its beauty, while I looked at her, marveling at her beauty.

She looked back at me. She waved her hand in front of my face to snap me back into reality. I just stared blankly into her beautiful brown eyes.

“Yah! What’s wrong?” She asked me sweetly.

Everything, everything is wrong! You’re supposed to be in my arms, not EunSook’s. You’re supposed to hold my hand, not EunSook’s. You’re supposed to kiss my lips, not EunSook’s. You’re supposed to be mine, not EunSook’s. God damn it! Why don’t you understand! Helpless thoughts swirled around in my head.

“A-ani, I’m just tired.” I replied, smiling a bit to reassure her.

“Oh, me too, school is just too hard sometimes!” She laughed.

Why is it that every time you smile, it makes my chest hurt so badly, yet makes me want to smile back? What are you doing to me SangMi? You give me the worst pain I could ever imagine, yet give me the most joy I’ve ever experienced in my life at the same time.

“I know huh? The teachers are so damn annoying, always getting on my nerves.” I faked annoyance and earned an approving giggle from SangMi.

I sighed deeply. I looked over at SangMi, who took out her phone. She began texting. Of course, why wouldn’t she? She’s a girl after all. I thought. I think it’s pretty obvious that she was texting EunSook.

She giggled a bit as she read the text message he had sent her. It stabbed my heart in an instant. Blinking back the tears was getting harder and harder by the minute. Painful, I know, but this is what I have to endure every day.

“Yah,” I nudged her.

“Huh?” She looked up from her phone.

“Let’s, go home. It’s getting dark,” I suggested. She nodded in agreement and we walked towards the exit of the park.

Suddenly, I saw a familiar face, a face that I really did not want to see at the moment. It was the face of, be damned, Park EunSook. He smiled at SangMi, while my eyes grew cold.

“Yeobo!” SangMi’s voice rang, piercing my chest once more. She ran over to hug EunSook tightly, and then intertwined their fingers together. Each and every gesture made my chest hurt more and more, and it began to become unbearable. I needed to get away from this hell, and fast.

“I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone okay? Have fun! But well, not too much fun arasso?” I smiled the fakest smile that I could have ever smiled, because inside, I was crying my heart out.

They both laughed and nodded their heads. SangMi came over to hug me. “Thanks for hanging out today,” she whispered into my ear before returning back to EunSook. I watched them walk away, until they turned the corner. SangMi waved once more, and disappeared with him.

I leaned against the cold cement wall of the park’s exterior, and looked down at my scuffed up high-top sneakers. A tear slid down my cheek and landed on the tip of my sneaker, and sparkled in the moon’s light. Then, for once that day, I let my tears flow freely, without restraint. I bit my lip to prevent sobs from escaping my mouth.

Turning to face the wall, I put one of my hands on it, and curled the other hand into a tight fist. As hard as I could, I punched the wall in hopes of my pain going away with the impact. The only result was a bruised fist, dripping with blood. Pain shot through my body, but I refused to cry out. The emotional pain I was experiencing right now was worse than the physical.

With tears in my eyes and blood dripping from my hand, I ran as fast as I could to reach my apartment. I burst through the door. My dad was in the living room while my sister was helping my mother in the kitchen. My sister looked up from cutting onions and saw my hand. She looked terrified.

“Jonghyun-ah!” she called out, but I was already in my room by then. I locked the door and leaned my back against my bedroom wall, and slowly slid down it. I hugged my knees and began sobbing quietly, unable to bear the pain.

“SangMi-ah, why?” I whispered as tears continued to roll down my cheeks, not to mention the blood that began to dry on my hand. It stung badly, but not as much as my heart.

Then I looked up as I heard the door knob rattle. My sister came inside my room with a first-aid kit. She closed the door behind her. She kneeled down next to me, and pried my blood-covered fist open.

“Yah, what happened?” My sister asked simply. I contemplated telling her what really happened, but it just made me feel like a weak person. So I decided to lie. I knew that the effort was a bit pointless, but it was worth a try.

“Ani, I just got in a fight with a guy after school,” I replied coldly. She looked at me, a bit hurt that I had lied to her.

“Yah, Kim Jonghyun, you know you can’t keep anything from your noona. You should know better than to lie. Tell me, please, I’m worried.” She pleaded, and I could do nothing but give in. She had been there for me my whole life, and I trusted her enough to be able to tell her these things.

I sighed deeply and rested my head on my knees as she pulled out some rubbing alcohol. She dipped some cotton in it and began cleaning my wound. I winced at the pain, but let her continue. I felt like I was being babied, but the least I could do was let her do what she’s good at: taking care of others.

“Noona, does love always have to hurt?” I questioned her. She knew this all too well, considering her relationship with her fiancé JaeSoon. She had had a crush on JaeSoon hyung for four years before he even realized that she existed, so she would know the feeling.

“Jonghyun, sometimes when you love someone that’s oblivious, you have to be willing to go through hell before they can love you back.” She smiled at me while wrapping a bandage around my hand.

I was surprised that she understood so quickly what my situation was, but then again, she was my Kim ChoHee, and she wasn’t stupid.

“I….I don’t think I’m going to be able to take any more of the pain though noona, it’s….hard for me,” I replied as tears welled up in my eyes once more. She smiled at me and wiped them from my blood-shot eyes. I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes.

“Yah, don’t cry. You’re not a baby, so be strong. SangMi will come through, I know she will, she’s smarter than you think,” she assured me. My head shot up in surprise at her words.

“H-how did you know?” I questioned her anxiously.

“I’m Kim ChoHee, sister of Kim Jonghyun, how could I not know? Seriously dongsaeng, you need to stop underestimating people.” She laughed. I smiled back, genuinely.

“Don’t tell anyone this happened, otherwise I’ll look like a weakling okay?” I made her promise me. We linked pinky fingers, just like we always had, ever since we were little. She pulled me into a hug, and I smiled into her soft hair.

“You punched a freakin cement wall, I think you’re far from weak” she chuckled as she pulled away. I can’t believe she knew. It was like she could read minds or some crap like that.

“That’s what men do when we’re upset,” I told her confidently.

“Yes, men punch walls then come crying home for their noonas to kiss their oos and make them better huh?” she joked in a baby-ish voice.

“Yah, noona,” I grumbled I shoved her arm gently. She laughed and punched me on the arm lightly.

“I was only kidding, just, get a hold of yourself arasso?” I nodded and got up to change. I told her to stay for a bit as I put on some sweats in the bathroom and came out. She cleaned up the mess and got up to leave as I slipped into bed.

“Jonghyun, remember what I said okay?” I nodded once more.

“Goodnight noona, and thanks,” I smiled at her.

“Goodnight, and fighting!” she gave me a fist pump and turned off the lights before closing the door behind her as she left.

I smiled contently and fell asleep.

Fighting Jonghyun, fighting……

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Much Love,

-Chai <3