Looking across the room, he let his eyes rest on the two people sitting next to each other near the sound-system. They were talking and laughing, both of them sometimes stopping in the middle of a sentence to sing along to a line or two from the song being played, before continuing the rest of the sentence as if nothing had happened.
 

He watched as the older male said something,  making the younger throw his head back and laugh in response. Then, seeing the bigger male pat the head of the smaller man, he felt his chest constrict, his heart throbbing painfully. How he wanted to walk over there, sit down between them, feeling their arms around him as they talked.
 

But he couldn't. There was no way he could. And he shouldn't. As much for his sake as for theirs, he shouldn't. He wasn't supposed to want to in the first place. He wasn't supposed to want. He wasn't supposed to feel like this. It was wrong. He knew it was wrong. Their gender made it wrong for him to feel like this. The relationship already existing between them made it twice as wrong. And it made it thrice as wrong that it was both of them.
 

But he couldn't help it. He had tried to stop. Stop feeling like this. He really had. But he just couldn't. It wasn't possible. He needed to do something though. Fast. He had been able to hide it for a pretty long time, but not anymore.
 

For years, he'd been able to act (mostly) normal around them, and his strange behavior at times were only thought of as a part of his already special personality. But he couldn't anymore. He didn't know what had changed, but the feelings were starting to affect his everyday life, and that couldn't happen. There were too many observant people around him. If he wasn't extremely careful, he had no doubt he would be found out.
 

“…  ng."
 

That would be disastrous. And probably mean the end of his career, if not the whole group.

“… sung?”
 

That couldn't happen. He needed to figure out something he could do. But what?
 

“Yesung!”
 

Yesung jerked back as Leeteuk suddenly appeared just a few cm from his face, slamming his head into the wall and knocking most of the air out of his lungs.
 

“Yesung? Are you okay?” Leeteuk asked worriedly as Yesung gasped for air. “I'm sorry, I was just trying to get your attention! You were completely spaced out."
 

Coughing once, Yesung looked up at Leeteuk with watering eyes.

"I'm fine," he wheezed, then drew a deep breath and cleared his throat. “I’m fine," he tried again, his voice steadier. "I've just been feeling a little out of it today."
 

“Really? We didn’t notice,” someone commented sarcastically, and Yesung looked up to see Heechul standing behind Leeteuk. Meeting the older man's gaze, Yesung almost flinched. Though he had sounded like he couldn't care less, Heechul was scrutinizing him, and Yesung knew just how much those eyes could see. Heechul couldn't find out! That would be beyond bad. But it was hard hiding things from Heechul.
 

Though knowing it wasn't the best idea, Yesung looked away quickly, turning back to the leader.

"Did you want something?" He asked, voice light, trying to ignore the fact that he could practically feel Heechul's eyes still burning into his face.
 

Leeteuk looked confused for a second, then he remembered.

"Ah, yeah! I was just gonna tell you the break is over. Back to practice." He raised his voice. "That goes for everyone! The break is over, let's back to practice!"
 

With Donghae complaining loudly about the statement not too far to his right, Yesung sighed as he got to his feet. Glancing across the room one last time, he could see Kyuhyun and Ryeowook do the same before he turned his attention back to the other members and the dance they were trying to perfect.
 

------> ♥♥♥

Yesung sighed and closed his eyes as Kyuhyun's rich voice surrounded him on all sides, relaxing into his chair. He loved moments like this, when he could just sit and listen, not having to worry about his own lines, cameras, fans or any of the other members.
 

Kyuhyun was amazing. When he had first joined them in 2006, Yesung - as the main vocalist - had felt threatened. For weeks, he'd treated him as if he didn't exist, not talking to him unless their managers were around. But then their new magnae had slowly started to charm his way into everyone's heart, and before they had realized it, everybody had fallen for him. Himself included. Thinking back on it now, Yesung guessed he probably had fallen a little bit harder than the rest of the members. The thought made him smile for a moment, then it faded.
 

For the first year, he'd only had a small crush on the magnae, and he had been satisfied by stealing glances as often as he could, small conversations that had no deeper meaning, and just the fact that they lived together, allowing Yesung to see him every day.
 

But then the feeling had started to grow, and by the time they released "Sorry Sorry", he had become greedy. He wanted more of Kyuhyun's attention, wanted it to be him the magnae did fan-service with during shows and performances. He had started to catch himself glaring at a clueless Sungmin or Siwon, the now too-familiar feeling of jealousy burning in his stomach.
 

It hadn't taken him long to learn to hide it, though. He was good with that kind of stuff. The sight of Sungmin resting his head on Kyuhyun's shoulder still made his stomach clench, but he was absolutely certain no one could tell by looking at him.
 

So if he only could keep his mouth shut and manage to control his eyes from straying where they shouldn't, he would be okay. No one would notice anything. No one would suspect anything. No one would find out. Find out about his best-kept secret. Find out about his feelings.
 

Yesung let out a inaudible sigh. How much easier his life would have been if he had never fallen for the magnae. It was hard being in love with a man. A member. A part of his second family.
 

They lived together. For many people in love, living together with your crush probably sounded awesome, but they had no idea. Of course there were good times too, like when they won awards or performed in front of thousands of people, when he could share his joy, excitement and happiness with the magnae. But it was mostly hard. Seeing the person you love every day, knowing you could never tell them about your feelings. Sleeping together, traveling together, practicing together, performing together, living together.
 

They did fan-service with each other, and Yesung had to pretend Kyuhyun's every touch, every smile, every laugh didn't make his heart beat faster or his breathing quicken. Luckily he didn't blush easily, and the make-up covered it when he did, but it was tiring to constantly be on guard. He never knew when the magnae would talk to him, or touch him, and he had to be careful to never get taken by surprise.
 

In the beginning, there had several occasions when the magnae had caught him unaware, with a hug, a question or just a touch, and his response had been instant and pretty extreme. When he started to run out of excuses for his often violent reactions to these sudden actions, he'd begun controlling himself. He needed to be able to have control over his reactions at all times. His heart still skipped a beat when Kyuhyun touched him, but Yesung no longer jerked away like he'd been burned, or accidentally punched Kyuhyun in the gut.
 

It was tearing at him though, big time. The only time he could let his guard down was when he was alone, which didn't happen nearly as often as he would've liked, not when he was living together with 9 other people.
 

And then there was the other magnae.
 

-
 

Yesung looked up when he noticed that Kyuhyun's voice had faded away. Seeing Kyuhyun step out of the recording booth, he let his eyes follow the magnae across the floor and out the door. Probably to find something to drink, he mused. Then the first soft note sprung into life, and Yesung's head snapped towards the recording booth again. A small smile blossomed on his lips as the crystal-clear voice started to fill up the room he sat in, flowing around him and eveloping him.
 

Ryeowook.
 

-
 

The eternal magnae. The cute cry-baby. The awesome cook. The amazing singer. Yesung really had no idea how he had fallen for the younger singer, but he had. Hard. Ryeowook had been easy to care about, easy to love from the beginning. He was small, weak, caring, sweet, adorable. He worried about them, made them food, took care of them when they were sick. How could anyone not love him? 
 

They had been paired up from the very beginning. Yewook were big. They were one of the most popular pairings, together with Eunhae, Kangteuk, Hanchul and Kyumin. They hugged, played, talked and held hands. And sang.
 

He didn't know when he had started to fall for Ryeowook, but it had been after KRY had been formed. He'd had that small crush on Kyuhyun, but when they had gotten the message that they would form a sub-unit, what he had cared about had been the singing. He had been happy Ryeowook and Kyuhyun were gonna be there too, but the thought of being able to sing more, sing ballads, maybe get some more attention, was what he had been the most excited about. No special feelings for either of the magnaes had really been present back then.
 

Then later, both Ryeowook and Kyuhyun had become a part of Super Junior-M, and they disappeared for months. He had missed them. Missed them just a little more than he had missed Hangeng or Siwon or Donghae. But nothing he had paid attention too. It was normal to miss each other when they were apart. Leeteuk and Heechul missed the other members too, and they were all looking forward to when they would come back.
 

And then they had returned, and everything had went back to normal. Or so he'd thought. Months passed, and Yesung had found himself paying more and more attention to Kyuhyun. Something had changed about the way he felt about the magnae, but it had taken a about a month before he'd realized what is was. He had begun glaring at the other members if they were too close or too intimate to (his) Kyuhyun, and when Leeteuk one day had asked why he was glaring at Siwon again, he had figured it out.
 

It wasn't until months later, when he one day suddenly found himself basically burning a hole into Sungmin's head (again) after he'd hugged Ryeowook for (far) longer than necessary, that he had stopped and questioned himself again. He already knew what he felt for Kyuhyun, but was it possible he was starting to feel the same way about Ryeowook? It couldn't be, could it?
 

Ignoring his many problems and questions, time had moved on as always, and Yesung had finally gotten the confirmation he hadn't know he had been searching for. Suju-M had made their comeback, and though he'd had a hard time believing it, there had been no way to misinterpret who his heart had longed for. He'd missed them. Both of them. Just as much.
 

The feelings had taken him by surprise, and he was glad they hadn't been home during the weeks it had taken him to figure everything out. He had never heard of it, never thought it was even possible, but he loved two people. He had fallen in love with not only one, but two of s.
 

That thought had taken some time getting used to, but when the rest of the members finally came back, Yesung had accepted it. There had been no other explanation, and he wasn't the type to live in denial. He was in love with both Kyuhyun and Ryeowook. It was as simple as that. Except that loving the two of them were anything but simple.

-
 

Someone poked his shoulder, and his head snapped up.
 

Ryeowook looked at him curiously, tilting his head to the side. "Yesung-hyung, are you okay? It's your turn to sing."
 

Yesung blinked back at him. Sing? Oh, right! He practically jumped out of the chair.
 

"I was just thinking about something, sorry for not paying attention," he apologized to the surprised magnae.
 

Smiling, he turned around and headed towards the booth, bowing slightly to the producer and vocal-coach as he walked past them. He spared a glance at the clock as he picked up the headphones and placed them on. If he managed to do this on the first or second try, they might be able to make it back in time to have dinner together with the other members. He adjusted the headphones and raised his hand to do the okay-sign. He was ready.
 

45 minutes later, they fastened their seatbelts as the driver pulled away from the SM-building and headed towards their dorm. Dinner was next.
 

------> ♥♥♥

Yesung poked his food. Beside him, Donghae was telling Eunhyuk about everything he'd done that day, while Shindong on his other side was eating like he'd never seen food before. Stabbing a piece of kimchi, Yesung looked at it for a few seconds before he put his fork down. He pushed his chair back and stood.
 

"Thanks for the food," he said half-heartedly, then picked up his plate and walked to the kitchen. Dumping his practically untouched meal in the garbage, he rinsed the plate and put it in the dishwasher. He walked out to the dining-table again and excused himself with a headache before heading to his room, never noticing the pair of worried and the pair of observant eyes watching him as he walked away.
 

-
 

Closing the door behind him, Yesung immediately collapsed onto the bed. He was dead tired, his head throbbing like someone had hit him repeatedly with a lexicon, and all the extra time he'd spent together with Kyuhyun and Ryeowook today had drained him completely. He was been worn out to the point that his mind had started playing with him.
 

While he had been waiting for his turn, he had started doubting his feeling for the two magnaes, only to find himself trying to keep his tears in check 2 minutes later, silently apologizing to the two of them again and again. Then something happened, and he was again doubting if what he felt really was love, only to once again find himself on the verge of crying as one of them smiled, or talked to him, and he felt like his heart was gonna explode. He hadn’t know what to do, except blaming his trouble for concentrating on lack of sleep, and taking frequent trips to the bathroom to try and get himself together.
 

Turning over on his side, Yesung leaned over the edge and pulled out a big brown convolute from under the bed. He rolled over on his back again before he slowly opened the convolute, and emptied it’s content next to him. Just throwing the convolute to the side, Yesung picked up the first glossed paper and stared at it. It was their very first KRY-picture. He still remembered when they’d taken it, how he had felt.
 

He put the picture down, and reached for another one. His lips broke into a smile as he pulled it towards his face. He remembered that picture as well. It was one of his favorites, one Yesung wished he could have in his wallet. They were snuggling up close, their cheeks almost touching as someone – he couldn’t remember who – froze that moment for them.
 

Another picture. Yesung was hugging Kyuhyun, arms around the magnae's neck and practically hanging off his shoulder, while Kyuhyun looked down on him with a “wth are you doing, hyung”-expression.
 

Another picture. Ryeowook had his arms around him, looking at him with what seemed like a loving expression, ponytails and big red sweater only making him cuter than he already was. Yesung smiled. SS2 Manila. He clearly remembered that moment. And apparently, so did their fans. He had stumbled across the picture on a fansite and had printed it out.
 

As his eyes started to burn, Yesung let the hand holding the picture fall back down on the bed. Laying completely still, he let his tears roll freely down his cheeks. He didn't really like to cry, but it was the easiest, quietest and most efficient method he knew to release tension and stress. Reliving the different moments when the pictures had been taken, Yesung closed his eyes and drew a deep breath.

Alone.

-
 

What must have only been minutes later; there was a knock on the door.
 

"Yesung, can I come in?"
 

Yesung's closed eyes flew open, and he was sitting up straight faster than he'd thought was possible. It took him a second to recover from the shock, and then he started collecting the pictures that were strewn all over the bed.
 

"J-just a minute," he answered, cringing at how hoarse he sounded, practically throwing the pictures under his bed as he spoke. He prayed that Leeteuk hadn't noticed how strange his voice had been, as he sat up again and rubbed his eyes furiously. The door opened.
 

"Yesung, is everything alright? You've been acting ..." Leeteuk cut off when he saw the singer. Yesung stared back at him as he let his hands fall down into his lap, eyes red and puffy, his cheeks still wet and his hair a complete mess. Nothing happened for a second or two, then Leeteuk narrowed his eyes at him.
 

"You were crying," he said accusingly, and Yesung automatically shook his head. Leeteuk took a stop closer to the bed, only to stop and stare in surprise when Yesung spun around and dived under his covers, pulling them up to his ears so only the top of his head was visible. Leeteuk's eyes narrowed again.
 

"Yesung," he warned. There was no reaction except for Yesung pulling the covers even tighter around himself.
 

Moving closer until he was standing right beside the bed, Leeteuk was about to reach forward and touch Yesung when something caught his attention. Changing his mind, he reached for the pillow instead and pulled out the small picture underneath. It was folded twice, and judging by the state it was in, it had been looked at hundreds of times. Leeteuk carefully unfolded the picture, not wanting to rip the fragile paper. His brows furrowed when the group's two magnaes became visible, Yesung standing between them with a big smile. Glancing toward the bundle on the bed, Leeteuk looked down at the KRY-photo again. Something popped into his mind. He lifted his head.
 

"Yesung ... what have happened with Ryeowook and Kyuhyun?" Leeteuk asked slowly, his hitch proven to be correct when Yesung stiffened under the covers.
 

Silence.
 

"Yesung. I want answers. Now," Leeteuk demanded, voice hard. Yesung squirmed.
 

"Nothi-"
 

"Don't lie to me, Jongwoon! The truth, now." Leeteuk cut him off. There was another small silence, then a quiet sniffle was heard, and Leeteuk's face softened. Still gripping the picture, he sat down on the bed and rested a hand on Yesung's shoulder.
 

"Won't you talk to me?" He asked gently, laying the picture down in front of the singer's face. He waited quietly as Yesung grabbed the picture and looked at it.
 

"Please Yesung, tell me what's wrong? You haven't been acting like yourself recently, and now this. Did Kyuhyun say something? Did you argue with him or Ryeowook?"
 

The silence lasted for several minutes. Still sitting on the bed, Leeteuk waited patiently. He could practically hear the thoughts churning around in Yesung's head, and he wondered what was going on. It had to be quite serious if Yesung was this hesitant about telling him. Then, there was a deep sigh, and could almost Leeteuk feel a change in the air.
 

"... -oth."
 

Leeteuk leaned forward, surprised but happy Yesung actually had answered him. Was he gonna tell him what was bothering him?

"What did you say? Both? Did you have a fight with both of them?" The leader asked, eager about the chance to be figure out his dongsaeng's problem.
 

"I love them."

As Leeteuk froze, Yesung to his back, meeting the older man's gaze.
 

"I am in love with them. Both of them." Yesung's voice was low and silky, the words wrapping themselves around Leeteuk and halting his thoughts. Everything was silent for some of the longest seconds of Yesung’s life, their breathing the only thing they could hear. Then Leeteuk drew a deep breath.
 

"Y-you love them? Kyuhyun and Ryeowook?" He repeated slowly. Yesung just nodded as Leeteuk tried to wrap his mind around the very unexpected news.
 

"But they are guys," Leeteuk finally said, disbelief and shock present in his voice. Yesung let out a short, forced laugh.
 

"No kidding," he commented dryly, though the slight crack in his voice revealed how nervous he really was. Leeteuk was quiet for a long while, seemingly deep in thoughts. Then he looked up, staring straight at the younger singer. “For how long?”
 

Yesung quickly averted his eyes, not being able to meet Leeteuk’s gaze. He hesitated for a second or two.
 

“Years,” he whispered. Leeteuk’s eyes widened and his eyebrows rose before they dropped into a frown, but he didn’t answer. Yesung tilted his head to the side, afraid to look at the leader. Tears were threatening to spill, but he blinked repeatedly trying to keep them in. Then something hit him and he spun around and grabbed the front of Leeteuk’s shirt, not noticing how the older male jerked away, shocked.
 

“You won’t tell them, right? You can’t tell anyone! Promise you won’t tell anyone!” he breathed, voice desperate. Looking down at Yesung’s red - and suspiciously shiny - eyes and panicked face, Leeteuk felt his own features soften. He carefully unclenched the small hands that were gripping his shirt before he pulled the younger man into a hug.
 

“It’s okay,” he whispered gently. He could feel Yesung trembling in his arms, and patted the younger's messy hair affectionately. “I won’t tell anyone, don’t worry. It’s okay.” 
 

There was a second of silence followed by a heavy exhale, and then Yesung relaxed into the embrace. Leeteuk don’t know how long they stayed like that, hugging each other, but after a while he became aware of Yesung’s deepening breath, and only a few minutes later he was completely asleep. Unwrapping himself from the embrace, Leeteuk carefully tucked the covers around the singer, before tip-toeing towards the bedroom door. He stopped and took one last look at the bundle in the bed before he turned the lights off and snuck away. He had things he needed to think about.

A/N - soooo- *drumrolls* ... Part 1! ~ I wrote this story as a one-shot, but it got so long I decided to publish it in two chapters to aviod getting scarily long chapters xD

If you see any mistakes/errors/wrong-spelling/anything, please do tell me, 'cause I beta'd this myself and I'm really not good with English grammar >.< (I should've paid more attention in school xD) though I try to blame it on English not being my first language *innocent-face*

Thanks for reading this, hope you like it \^-^/

I really, really, really love comments, so please leave one if you don't mind xD *fakes-innocent-face-again*