What should I make tonight? Kyungsoo asked himself as he waited in front of the grey doors of the elevator. With both hands carrying bags of groceries, Kyungsoo used his right elbow to press the button for the sixth floor. He hummed a soft tune in the dimly-lit elevator, and his mind wandered aimlessly around random matters. He was brought back down to earth with the soft ting of the doors opening. Shifting his shoulders to relax his tense muscles, Kyungsoo walked past the rows of doors to turn the corner and reach his own apartment . Suddenly, the familiar, faint sounds of sobbing stopped him in his tracks, however; he paid no notice to the now spilled bags of grocery as his body began to race towards the crying girl against the wall.

His knees were numb to the pain of slamming onto the hard concrete as Kyungsoo kneeled in front of her. His eyes were searching the girl’s face with care before gently wiping away the streams of tears with the back of his knuckles.

“Why are you crying?”

“Again,” Kyungsoo added silently. He already knew the reason but he couldn’t stop himself from asking. It was because of him. From the beginning, it was always him. 

An empty laugh spilled from her lips, and she leaned into Kyungsoo’s shoulders. Even though she was freezing, warmth spread through his body at sensation of her being in his arms. His throat tightened, and he hesitatingly pulled her closer to slowly pat her back in an attempt to console the trembling girl.

“Why else?”

She mumbled into his shirt that was wet from her tears. He sighed deeply before bending one knee to stand up while wrapping his arms around her waist and smoothly pulled her onto her feet. They locked gazes for a second before Kyungsoo abruptly broke the eye contact and walked away to pick up his spilled groceries. She quickly ran over to help him, and the rustling of the plastic bags was all that could be heard in the amidst of silence.

“You probably didn’t eat yet. I’ll make us some dinner, and you can wash up and rest,” Kyungsoo suggested and unlocked the door for her to go in first. She nodded blankly with her clothes in a rumpled mess, and tangled strands of hair spilling over her puffy eyes. Yet, Kyungsoo wondered with a hint of amazement, she’s still beautiful.

While she went to the bathroom to clean up, Kyungsoo began his preparation of the meal. Trying to block out the image of her crying face, his forehead scrunched up in concentration as he chopped the ingredients into small, uniform pieces. The only sound that could be heard in the kitchen was the sound of the knife hitting the cutting board in a quick rhythm until the disruption of the noise of an opening door.

“For a squishy, you shouldn’t have such a scary expression on. You’ll scare away the children,” she teased with a bright smile. All traces of her previous state was wiped away, and she gently poked his soft cheeks with her index finger. 

“I’m holding a knife right now,” he replied in an unamused tone, trying to hide his flushing neck with gruff words. 

She giggled in response before saying, “I’m not scared. I know you would never hurt me. You wouldn’t lie to me either.”

The last sentence trailed off as she glanced down at the floor with a small yet sad smile. Noticing the reappearance of her downtrodden expression, Kyungsoo said casually, “How can I hurt someone who can’t even scramble an egg correctly? That would be like kicking a puppy.”

Whipping her head up, she said with a glare, “Hey! That was years ago okay? I’m a great co-

Seeing Kyungsoo’s raised eyebrows, she stopped and grumbled, “I can scramble eggs.”

He couldn’t stop his lips from curving upwards at the sight of her pouting face.

“Then, prove it,” Kyungsoo said while pointing at the carton of eggs on the counter near the sink.

Hearing the challenge in his voice, she squinted her eyes at him.

“Fine. I will.”

Kyungsoo was smiling the entire time as she muttered complaints under her breath from behind him. The apartment seemed brighter with her presence. No matter where she was, she brought color to his world. He wished he could freeze time right now because when she leaves, his world will become gray and dull again. Suddenly, the scream of the fire alarm broke his train of thought, and he turned to see her looking at him with a guilty expression on her face.

“Ummm… so I guess you were right?” 

Yeah, maybe another time would be better.

“I’m engaged!” She shouted excitedly holding up her left hand, the diamond was blinding to the eye. But, that was nothing compared to the excruciating pain that was ripping through his chest right now. His whole world was turning grey but Kyungsoo managed to choke out,

“C-congragulations.” 

Even though the thing he wanted to say the most was I love you. 

 

Oh, tell me, what is love?

Tell me, what is love?

His ringtone shocked Kyungsoo awake from his nightmare. Gasping for air, he tried to calm his racing heart. It was just a dream, he thought to himself, she’s not engaged. He glanced at the clock.

7:14 A.M.

Blearily rubbing his eyes, he answered the call and an unfamiliar woman’s voice echoed in his bedroom.

“Hello, is this Do Kyungsoo?”

“Yes?”

Her next words made his heart stopped.

“Please sir! We have to get her to the operating room right now!” The nurses told Kyungsoo who was clinging to the wheeled stretcher with her on it. Her face was completely colorless and her usual lively eyes were closed. W-who hurt you?

“I’m her friend! The hospital called me over here!” He shouted at them, barely noticing their presence. He could only focus on her. 

“Alright, you can come with us to the front of the room and then you’ll have to wait outside.” 

“You’re going to be okay,” he chanted breathlessly again and again at her unconscious form. His eyes were wide and dazed as Kyungsoo held onto her limp hand. It came out more like a plea for her to not leave him behind because there was so much that he hasn’t told her, and it starts with three small words. In his head, he was begging for the universe to prevent their paths from diverging from here. 

Twelve hours later, those words would become the first and last lie Kyungsoo ever told her.