Chapter 27

 

Seulgi pauses right before the door. She hesitates, placing her hand on the doorknob. 

 

Suddenly, she feels transported back to the time when a little girl years ago, standing outside her parents’ door. 

 

Where she overheard the conversation of their parents and brother about migrating overseas due to the business. 

 

That is when she realised she is not part of their family migration plans. 

 

The door suddenly swings open instead, pulling her back into reality. 

 

Back into the present, Seulgi comes face to face with the principal of SM High, Mr Lee. The usual old and grumpy man greets her with a big smile. 

 

“There you are! A special guest has been waiting for you all this while. Have fun and take as long as you wish. Good job on the performance by the way.” 

 

“Thank you sir.” She bows. 

 

With a proud pat on her shoulder, he leaves them alone in the empty meeting room. 

 

Seulgi walks in and shuts the door with her back facing the room, as she does not want to come face to face with the other party yet. 

 

“My sweet Seulgi, long time no see.” 

 

She slowly turns around to face the room and that is when Seulgi finally catches his face and that warm eyesmile, which looks so much like her own. A strong feeling of deja vu grips her senses, making her pause in her step.   

 

The smartly dressed man stands up and walks straight towards her with big strides. 

 

He opens his arms with a big grin. “Seulgi.” 

 

The first thing that comes out of to greet her brother whom she has missed for months is “What are you doing here?” She asks him with a straight face. 

 

“I came to see you of course. Hey, you looked really cool on stage just now. I am so proud of you!” 

 

Despite all of her reservations, hearing these words of compliment from him still made her happy. It makes her elated enough that it is really hard to stop the corners of her lips from going up. 

 

Deep down inside, she is still a little girl after all.

 

“Come give your brother a hug.” He steps in and pulls her into an embrace, despite her reservations. 

 

Seulgi unwillingly places her arms around him and hugs him tight. Despite everything he has done, she still loves and misses her brother everyday. 

 

“I’ve missed you my little princess.” Hearing this nickname again strikes a particular chord in her heart. 

 

Much as she wished to cherish this heartwarming moment, Seulgi cannot help but ask him the same question every time. “Then don’t you visit more often?” 

 

Like an old broken record, she watches as the same reaction unfold. 

 

He first loosens the hug. 

 

Present on his face, is the usual clench of his jaw. 

 

Followed by, the uncomfortable shifts in his gaze. 

 

“I have to hear from Jisoo’s mother that you were back and you didn’t even bother to reply my message.”

 

He replies in a heavy tone. “I am sorry. I have been really busy so I left my phone with the secretary.”

 

“If you’re so busy, why bother coming here today?”

 

“Seulgi, must we always be like this when we meet?” 

 

“You only come once back every few months and you expect me to welcome you like nothing has happened?” 

 

“Seulgi, you must know that we are trying our best. The business is still unstable at the moment with our expansions. Once everything has stabilised-“

 

Seulgi snaps. “Business, its always about business isn’t it?“

 

“Not this again.” He replies with a pained expression. “We didn’t choose this life either. But our grandfather died and once the business fell into our hands, we had to do everything to protect it.” 

 

“All I know is how I had to grow up alone in the past few years because of this stupid business.” Seulgi retorts bitterly. 

 

And as usual, he would explain again. “Seulgi, you know that we did it for you enjoy a normal, stable childhood while we travel on a daily basis to save the business. So that you could grow up in the company of your best friends and enjoy what you like the most, which is dancing.”

 

After countless explanations over the years, Seulgi obviously understands their decision is the best possible option for herself. 

 

But she cannot help but be angry for all the times she had to spend by herself, especially the days watching as other kids’ parents would fetch them home after school or visit them at every tournament. 

 

“But what is the point of it? Through every high and low, y’all were never there for me.” 

 

And, she is the only one walking home alone. 

 

He sighs and walks back to his seat. He beckons the other side to Seulgi, asking her to sit down. 

 

She crosses her arms and states coldly, “I have nothing to talk to you about. I have to go.” However, she still takes a seat in the end. 

 

He begins another topic in a bright tone, “So, Mum and Dad would like to know if you have given a thought about where to go after you graduate high school?”

 

“Nope. Its still a year away anyway.” 

 

“We would like you to consider going to Stanford.” He makes a delicate pause. “Its been a family tradition for the past three generations and they hope you can follow through it too.” 

 

“My grades wouldn’t make it.” She replies without much interest. She takes a look at her phone screen and ponders about whether she should message Irene right now. Would she still be upset at me? 

 

“They have already been in talks. With your exceptional co-curricular achievements and our strong alumni history, it would be sufficient, they said.” 

 

Seulgi scoffs upon hearing it and puts down her phone to face him. “Isn’t it ironic how the people who are least involved in my life are making most of my life decisions?” 

 

“Seulgi, it is just a consideration. You can make your own decision in the end.”

 

“It will simply end up the same way as before. When I told you I did not want to remain in Korea a few years ago, you all still left me here. What do you think will be different this time round?” Seulgi replies bitterly, looking straight into her brother’s eyes. 

 

“Seulgi...” He sighs through his nose. “Years ago, I didn’t wanna leave either. I fought really hard to stay here with you.”

 

Seulgi widens her eyes in shock. “You did?” Her brother had never told her this before and all along, she just assumed he left her behind heartlessly like her parents.  

 

He nods. 

 

“You never told me this.” 

 

“What difference would it make? I still left you behind anyway.” 

 

It makes a whole lot of difference, Oppa.

 

She thought to herself. Swelled with mixed emotions, Seulgi looks away from her brother’s gaze before her tears could fall. 

 

“Seulgi, will you have lunch with me? I could request for some time off from school for you.” He asks her softly. 

 

Much as she wanted to, she realised there is something more important to do at this moment. ”I can’t. There is something I need to do now.” 

 

“I see. How about dinner?” 

 

“I...I will think about it.” Seulgi replies with some hesitation, as she stands by the door right before leaving. 

 

“I’ll be waiting.” He smiles. 

 

Once she left, the weight of her other problem hits her like a storm. 

 

How on earth does she apologise for this?

 

 

 

 

Irene wished there was a manual for her to read up on how to get over a couple’s first argument. 

 

There has been minor bickers along the way, but just silly ones where either one of them would suddenly burst into laughter at its absurdity and the other soon follows. Nothing cannot be resolved within five minutes with a good kiss. 

 

But this is different. 

 

It felt different. 

 

Seulgi was really upset this time, lashing out at her in bullet speed, unlike her usual frustrated but still calm temperament. (Irene is usually the one with a shorter fuse) This time Seulgi showed no mercy on her onslaught of hurtful words, which hit right at home. 

 

Uptight about being perfect. 

 

She swallows a knot in . 

 

Underneath all the sweet words, is this how Seulgi has always felt about her for the longest time? 

 

Irene cannot help but repeatedly run Seulgi’s words through her mind over and over again, each time the wound cuts a little deeper. 

 

Since returning to class slightly late after the performance, Wendy noticed her best friend in a daze. 

 

Her pen is moving, but she just seems to be drawing circles on her workbook. She considers the possibility that Irene is just in her blissful bubble, which she goes into sometimes after meeting Seulgi, but this time she senses a feeling of heaviness in her actions. 

 

“Joohyun, are you okay?”

 

Irene just shakes her head and sighs. She shifts her eyes back onto the board and hurriedly copies down whatever is on there onto her textbook. 

 

“Girl, that’s the wrong page.” 

 

“Oh... I forget to copy the last few pages too.” She scrambles to correct her mistake, her fingers fumbling through the pages of her textbook aimlessly.

 

“Here, copy mine.” Wendy offers her book. 

 

“Thanks.” The usual embarrassment that would be present in the latter’s tone, now just sounds like a tone of sadness.   

 

“What’s wrong?” Wendy whispers. 

 

“Don’t ask now...please.” 

 

“Promise to tell me later?” 

 

The latter sighs. “Fine.” 

 

Right when the class ends, Irene immediately checks her phone for new messages but there are none. 

 

She catches a glimpse of her phone background: a picture of Seulgi kissing her cheek while Irene herself has the brightest smile on her face. Memories of that moment of happiness flood into her mind. 

 

Knowing that they are far from that now, makes her even more upset. 

 

Seeing the worried expression on Irene’s face, Wendy swoops in and asks, “Are you okay? You look terribly pale Joohyun.” 

 

“I-I am worried.” Irene replies. 

 

“There are only two things in the world that can make you upset. It’s either your grades or Seulgi.” Wendy purses her lips thoughtfully and deduces, “Seulgi problems again?” 

 

The dramatic deep sigh from the latter is a clear sign of approval. 

 

Wendy almost yelps in excitement after hearing that. Not because she is a psychopath, but this is the first time she finally has a chance to be a relationship adviser! 

 

Usually, Irene goes straight to Jennie for advice, as she is the most experienced in relationships. The two would huddle and whisper in hushed voices, totally leaving her out. When Wendy tries to cut in, they would chuckle and comment on how its cute she is trying to help. 

 

Well, I can help too Joohyun. I had my fair share of learning from romantic novels and movies after all. 

 

Oh boy, it is her time to shine. 

 

The novice love adviser clears and proclaims, “Well I assume y’all fought.” 

 

“Yea.”

 

Bingo!  

 

“What was the fight about?” 

 

The argument resurfaces in Irene’s head again. Every time she thinks about it, her heart hurts a little more. And, the tears threaten to escape a little sooner. 

 

But she still manages to recount the event perfectly. “I noticed Seulgi seemed kinda distracted during her performance earlier. It was unusual, so I simply asked her if anything was wrong. She replied nothing but I could tell she was hiding something from me.”

 

Oh no. 

 

“Then all of a sudden, she burst at me for ruining her mood by raining on her parade, being I quote ‘so uptight about being perfect’! Can you believe it?”

 

“I can’t...” Wendy mutters in disbelief.

 

This is more serious than Wendy has thought. Honestly, she was expecting more of a silly prank or banter as usual. 

 

“Right? Its so unlike Seulgi. I figured she was not in her right mind too but her words still hurt me. So I halted the argument there and told her that I had to leave for class.” 

 

“I see.” 

 

“It has been two hours since and she has not texted me yet.” Irene concludes with a pout. “I’m just worried if she is okay.” 

 

“She will be, Joohyun.” Wendy smiles, placing a hand on Irene’s arm. 

 

“But should I text her first, Wannie?” Irene asks Wendy for an advice, for the first time. 

 

“Uhhh...” Wendy chuckles nervously. Though excited to be finally asked for advice, she does not know what to say either as this is definitely uncharted territories. 

 

Irene’s expression suddenly changed when she realised it too. “Its okay. I understand that you may not know how to answer this either since you have not dated anyone-“ 

 

“I think you should!” Wendy blurts out without her realising too. Seeing Irene’s incredulous frown, she emphasises her point in a panic. “Joohyun, do it. Its now or never.” 

 

Feeing indignant, Irene reveals a small pout and replies, “But I’m not the one at fault. She is the one who raised her voice at me.”

 

“Then don’t do it.”

 

“But I’m worried-“

 

“Do it.”

 

“You just said not to seconds ago.” 

 

“Well...”

 

Right when the novice love guru is about to break down from the stress, her client suddenly concludes. 

 

“I don’t know. Ugh.” Irene decides to stop thinking about this as she is currently a spiralling mess. “I am just gonna do my work. Who cares about that stupid bear anyway?” 

 

The model student takes out her notes and textbooks to resume her revision as per normal. Seeing her friend’s usual face of intense concentration, Wendy assumes she must be okay and proceeds with her own work too. 

 

Irene speeds through the practice questions like a well-rehearsed player, solving the answers with exact accuracy and time precision.  

 

When studying, her laser sharp focus allows her mind to momentarily take a break from toiling over her relationship worries.  

 

All is fine until she decides to double confirm a fact and takes out her personal notes that are neatly written in a notebook.

 

It is the ‘Bible’ which she used to lend Seulgi all the time when they studied together. In the library at her favourite table, in a study room together at the study centre. It reminds her of the first kiss they shared under the stars after the study session and more...

 

Why can’t I ever get you out of my head? 

 

She lets out a sigh just as her phone suddenly buzzes: 

 

One new message from Gomdori 🐻💛 

 

Irene’s heart almost leaped out of her chest seeing this long awaited message. But...why is it only one message. 

 

Is it a long or short one?

 

Is this good or bad news? 

 

What if its just three words: Lets break up. 

 

She hesitates for a minute before pressing onto them. 

 

Hey babe, I’m sorry for what I said to you earlier in a fit of anger. I didn’t mean any of it. Can we talk now please? 😞

 

She heaves a huge sigh of relief, slipping out a small smile knowing her silly bear is back. Thank god. 

 

Almost immediately, Seulgi comes online and she begins typing...

 

Irene lets out a small gasp and waits with bated breath for what else her girlfriend has to say. 

 

Typing...

 

Stopped.

 

Typing...

 

Stopped. 

 

This cycle continues for around a minute while Irene stares at her screen with utmost concentration, making Wendy look over out of curiosity. 

 

“Oh!” Irene freaks out when she receives an incoming call from Seulgi all of a sudden. She is not ready for this level of confrontation yet. 

 

“Uhh what should I do Wannie?” Irene asks frantically, gripping onto Wendy’s arm. 

 

“If shes calling, it means she’s ready to talk. Pick it up.” The latter encourages her. 

 

“B-But I don’t feel like I am ready to talk yet.” 

 

“What are you worried about?” Wendy asks. 

 

“I don’t know what to say to her.” 

 

“Joohyun-ah, you’ve been unsettled all day. Isn’t this what you have been waiting for? Just settle this now with that silly bear and I’m sure you will feel much better afterwards.” Wendy nudges her with an encouraging smile. “Go on.”

 

“You’re right.” Irene sighs. “Here goes nothing...”

 

Irene walks outside to find a quiet space where she could talk in peace. She finds refuge in an empty laboratory nearby.      

 

And she picks up the call. 

 

“Hyun?” The latter begins with some hesitance, at the other end of the line. 

 

“Hey...” 

 

“Hey, I’m sorry for suddenly calling you. I hope I didn’