Chapter 18:

 

A/N: As of 12 Feb, some parts of this chapter has been changed for better flow! 

 

Warning: five-letter word ahead.

 

——

 

“Hi Ms Bae.” Mr Kim greets Irene sheepishly. “May I enter?”

 

“Sure. Um, one moment please.” Irene closes her door and takes a quick look around her room. She quickly hides all her laundry, arranges the items on her study table, makes her bed again and finally looks in the mirror to check herself. 

 

Then, while staring at her own reflection, she realises there is no point doing so. Since her girlfriend is dead drunk. 

 

So, she just opens the door and helps Mr Kim carry Seulgi to her bed. Seulgi slumps onto her bed with a loud thud and immediately starts to hug the Pikachu to sleep. 

 

Both of the onlookers just sigh. 

 

After settling Seulgi in, Mr Kim turns to Irene and the middle-aged man bows deeply. “Thank you Ms Bae.” 

 

Irene immediately bows back. “You’re welcome! But Mr Kim, why did you bring Seulgi here instead of her own home?” Irene asks while taking a look at the bear who is already making her bed her own. 

 

“Ms Kang insists on coming here or she will not stop throwing tantrums in the car. I’m really sorry Ms Bae.” He apologises again and bows, making the younger girl bow one more time in return. 

 

“Just call me Irene, Mr Kim.” She looks at her wasted girlfriend with her hands on her hips. “Why is she so drunk?”

 

Mr Kim just looks at Irene with a raised brow, his answer obvious in his silence. 

 

“Oh.” Irene sighs. “It’s because of me.” 

 

“Ms Kang has never gotten this drunk in a long time. Please take good care of her.”

 

Irene feels a pang of guilt creep up her heart. 

 

“I am sorry.” Irene feels bad for being the cause of Seulgi’s excessive drinking. The last time Seulgi was drunk was one month ago when they had an argument during their one month “anniversary”. Yet again, it is because of her. 

 

“Don’t be. It’s normal for young couples to fight.” He smiles as both of them walk to the door together. “What’s important is how you make up after the argument.” His fatherly gaze while looking at Seulgi on the bed one last time touches Irene. 

 

“Thank you for your advice. Seulgi is lucky to have you taking care of her.” 

 

“It can’t be helped. Her parents and brother are always all over the place taking care of the business.” His smile turns sad, his eyes soften. “Ms Kang is always alone since young.” 

 

“I didn’t know that...” Irene is shocked since she has always thought Seulgi has a perfect life. Popular at school, friendly personality, insanely good at dancing, wealthy. Irene suddenly realises family is one of the things Seulgi has never bragged about. 

 

“She has a strong sense of pride.” He sighs. 

 

“It’s not hard to tell.”

 

They both chuckle lightly, careful not to wake Seulgi up. 

 

“Eh? Where am I?” They hear a slur. 

 

They both turn around to see Seulgi looking around the apartment blankly with a small frown. 

 

Mr Kim replies her politely, “Ms Kang you’re in Ms Bae’s apartment.” 

 

“Ms Bae? You mean Joohyun’s home? Wow, I’m actually in her room!” Seulgi suddenly exclaims loudly, which the other two quickly shush her because it is still 3 a.m. in the morning. 

 

“Shhhh!” Irene has to jump on her bed and covers the bear’s mouth before she sprouts any more nonsense. Seulgi blinks when she sees Irene up close, then she shakes her head and refocuses her eyes on her again. 

 

“Joohyun?” Seulgi innocently asks, her eyes widen as she raises her hand slowly to touch Irene’s cheek. “Is this a dream?” She taps her cheek twice and then slaps it once more, a little too hard. 

 

“Seulgi!” Irene glares at the bear. 

 

“Shhhh...” It is now Seulgi’s turn to shush Irene by placing a finger on her lips with a silly grin.

 

Seulgi asks her with a cute frown, “Hyun, why are you here?” 

 

“Seulgi, this is my home.”

 

“Hehehehehehe...” Seulgi suddenly giggles out loud and her eyes disappear into two crescent moons. Seulgi grabs both of Irene’s cheeks and swoons, “Aigoooo why are you so cute?” 

 

Irene just sighs, then she cannot help but chuckle at how cute drunk Seulgi is. 

 

“Silly bear.” Irene pokes her drunk girlfriend’s cheek. “I am supposed to be angry at you.” 

 

Seulgi’s eyes suddenly turn sad. She grabs Irene’s hand tenderly while asking, “You still angry?”

 

“A little.” Irene looks down and admits. “You made me sad.” 

 

“Um I’ll take my leave first.” Mr Kim grimaces at the couple, one of his feet already out of the apartment. He is more than ready to leave the couple alone. 

 

“Sure. Thank you for sending her here, Mr Kim.” Irene tries her best to smile back at him, but fails as the bear suddenly pulls both of her cheeks.

 

“You’re so cute!” 

 

“Ouch! Slew gee you ra urting mooi!” Irene tries her best to inform the latter with her cheeks pulled. She tries to pull Seulgi’s hands away but it hurts even more. 

 

Luckily, Seulgi hears her eventually and removes her hands. She looks at Irene worriedly. “Arree you ogay?” 

 

Drunk Seulgi is too cute for Irene to stay angry any second longer. However, there is still a lingering pain in her cheeks. “It hurts...” She grumbles, then she instinctively pouts when she meets Seulgi’s eyes. 

 

At the back of her mind, Irene is wondering since when does she pout when she is angry. 

 

“I’m sorry, Hyun-ah. Where does it hurt?” Seulgi brings her attention back to reality with her cute voice.

 

“Here?” Irene blinks when she sees Seulgi pointing at her own cheek. 

 

“Huh?” 

 

“Over here?” Seulgi repeats and pokes Irene’s cheek, her adorable gaze overwhelming the latter.

 

“Y-Yes.” Irene wonders what Seulgi will do. Especially, a drunk Seulgi. 

 

After hearing her girlfriend’s reply, Seulgi pecks Irene’s cheek lovingly. 

 

“Does it still hurt?” Seulgi asks her with a cheeky smile. The captain points to the other side of her cheek, still untouched. “Does this side hurt too?” 

 

Irene feels her entire body freezing at Seulgi’s sudden sweet gestures. She just stares back at the latter blankly, which Seulgi takes her silence as consent.

 

Seulgi gives Irene’s other lonely cheek a quick peck. The captain looks down at her girlfriend while smiling, “All better?” 

 

Of course not. Irene’s heart rate has already shot through the roof. 

 

“Are you even drunk?” Irene narrows her eyes on the latter, her heart beat ringing in her ears. How can Seulgi still remain so sweet even when she is drunk? 

 

“Nope!” Seulgi scrunches her nose and shakes her head like a small child. 

 

“Silly bear.” Irene smiles and pats her baby bear’s head. 

 

“Good night, Ms Bae and Ms Kang...” 

 

Irene suddenly realised that Seulgi’s driver is still at the door. She stands up and gives him a quick bow. “Thank you for your hard work. Please go home and rest now.” 

 

“Hyun-ah...” 

 

“You’re welcome, Ms Bae.” He slips out a grateful smile at the girl and finally exits the apartment. 

 

Right after he leaves, Irene almost jumps out of the bed in shock when a pair of arms suddenly wrap around her body. 

 

“I missed you...” She feels Seulgi’s soft breath on her ear as she speaks. The sincerity in her words can be heard from her voice. 

 

Her heart softens and Irene holds onto the captain’s hands that are around her waist. 

 

“Me too.” She replies softly, almost like a whisper. 

 

Seulgi hums happily and tightens her arms around Irene. She fully rests her head on Irene’s shoulder to take a nap. 

 

After a short while, Irene can feel her girlfriend falling into a slumber as her breaths become slower and steadier. 

 

She would love to remain in the back hug longer but after a few minutes, the stench of alcohol from Seulgi’s breath is starting to get on her nerves. 

 

“Okay, Seulgi. Let go. We need to get you cleaned.” Irene peels herself away from the tight hug despite the latter’s protests. 

 

“Hyunnie...” Seulgi whines with her arms stretched open and pouts. 

 

“Later.” 

 

“No~” The bear whines then she lunges forward to grab her. Luckily, Irene manages to jump out of the way in time. 

 

Standing at the edge of the bed, Irene observes Seulgi carefully and it is then she notices the red lipstick stains. Although faded, they are still imprinted on both of her cheeks. 

 

Her blood instantly starts to boil as memories of what she saw a few hours ago still burned at the back of her mind. 

 

The sight of other girls kissing Seulgi right in front of her eyes. Her Seulgi. 

 

And how there is not an edge of guilt in either of their faces when doing so. 

 

Just girls being friendly to each other, like what Wendy has told her. 

 

This is everyday life for popular students like Seulgi. Irene just has to accept it. She knows it well but it still hurts. 

 

Irene grumbles in a low voice, “I hate it when you flirt with other people.” She goes forward and tries to wipe away the prints with her thumb but it does not go away. 

 

“Huh?”

 

She lets out a frustrated sigh and turns her back away from Seulgi. “Why did you let them kiss you? Even it is for congratulating you-“

 

“Nah! Sunmi and Moonbyul unnie were just giving me a kissing tutorial hahaha!” 

 

“A w-what?” Irene stutters, gaping at Seulgi in shock. 

 

“Hehehehe” 

 

“What tutorial?” 

 

“Shhhh...don’t tell Hyunnie.” Seulgi shushes Irene first then a smile grows on her lips while she casually reveals, “I wanted to kiss her while watching the stars together after the concert.”

 

“You wanted to kiss me?” The thought of that alone is enough to make both of Irene’s cheeks flush. 

 

Seulgi nods enthusiastically. “So I asked them for advice...turns out it’s .” She follows with a bitter chuckle. 

 

After knowing everything, Irene instantly feels terrible for ruining everything because of her hot-headedness. Now she has even ruined a chance for their perfect first kiss. 

 

Why does she always seem to be the one who spoils everything?

 

“I’m sor...” Her words trail off when she sees Seulgi who is currently engaging in a conversation with her Pikachu.

 

“Pika?” Seulgi knits her eyebrows while surveying the soft toy carefully. 

 

She leans in and places her ear beside the Pikachu’s mouth as if to hear its imaginary reply. Then, she nods understandingly and slips out a smile. 

 

“Pika pika, pika pika pika.” Seulgi turns to tell the Pikachu while beaming, to Irene’s utmost amusement. Seulgi widens her eyes slightly and concentrates on the Pikachu’s mouth for a few seconds. After hearing the reply, her face lights up. “Pika-chu!”

 

Irene chuckles and goes away to take a cloth and places it under the running water. All this while, she does not take her eyes off her drunk girlfriend. Her heart melts into a goo whenever Seulgi talks to the Pikachu in her high pitched voice. 

 

“Okay, this is very cute but I don’t know any Pika language so I’m just going to help you clean up now.” Irene informs her as she tries to move Pikachu away to Seulgi’s complaints. 

 

Seulgi suddenly grabs onto her hand. “Pikachu is still talking to me. You just interrupted him.” Seulgi looks at Irene sternly then she demands with a pout, “Apologise.”

 

“No.” Irene laughs, but then she realises Seulgi is actually serious about it. 

 

“Apologise.” Seulgi insists. 

 

“Shhhh it’s 3 am in the morning.” 

 

“Apologise!” Seulgi repeats in a louder voice, seemingly getting irritated. 

 

Not wanting to wake her neighbours up, Irene can only give in to her bear. 

 

“Okay, okay!” Irene takes in a deep breath and then mutters, “I’m sorry Pikachu.”

 

However, Seulgi rejects her apology with a swipe of her hand and nags at Irene in a serious tone. “Pikachu doesn’t understand you. You need to be more sincere.” 

 

“Good lord, save me...Pika pika?” Irene groans immediately after speaking. Today is officially the biggest dip for her intelligence in her 18 years of living on earth. 

 

However, it somehow seems to be worth it when she sees Seulgi finally smiling brightly at her again. “Pikachu says he forgives you.” Seulgi takes the soft toy and hugs it, placing her head on its head while she looks at Irene sweetly. 

 

Irene shyly looks away and tells her drunk girlfriend, “Pikachu says come here to get cleaned now.”

 

Seulgi scoots forward with her and sits on the edge of the bed while still smiling at the latter.

 

“Close your eyes.” 

 

Seulgi follows her orders and Irene cleans her makeup in silence. 

 

After a short while, Seulgi’s body suddenly fell limp and she collapses right into Irene’s embrace. Irene just sighs and helps her girlfriend to lie down on the bed. 

 

The corners of her lips curl up when Irene uses her index finger to touch Seulgi’s nose and the latter crinkles it despite in deep slumber. 

 

Next, her trace of sight goes down to the same place she has been looking at all the time recently. 

 

Irene sighs. It must be her innate curiosity, she tells herself.

 

Wendy has teased Irene countless times over the past week whenever she is caught looking at Seulgi’s lips.

 

It is curiosity that is making her feel the urge to want to know how it feels like to place her lips on hers. It must be curiosity. Only curiosity. 

 

She pulls away from Seulgi before any other weird thoughts cloud her mind. 

 

Irene proceeds to help the captain out of her tight leather jacket and also loosens some of her clothing for Seulgi’s comfort. After removing her shoes and socks too, Irene tucks in her girlfriend who is already hugging her new girlfriend, Pikachu, to sleep. 

 

Satisfied with her product, she bends forward to give Seulgi a light kiss on her forehead. 

 

“Sweet dreams, silly bear.” 

 

Finally, the bunny settles into the sofa, her safe abode for the night. 

 

 

——

 

Seulgi wakes up with a terrible headache. It feels like first she got run over by a lorry, then her four limbs and her head get crushed under the wheels. Then, someone who passes by drops a medicine ball on her head by accident out of shock. 

 

Anyway, she lets out a loud groan as she opens her eyes to meet the blinding sunlight. Since when did her room face the morning sun? 

 

After adjusting to the brightness, she finally puts down her hand from her ears, to meet the view of an unfamiliar room. 

 

It is a rather spacious room for a studio apartment. The interior is decorated in warm colours and simple furniture. She looks down at the bed she is sleeping on and the full realisation of what has happened dawned upon her. 

 

“Oh my god!” Seulgi springs out of the bed in shock. Her mind goes in a frenzy. 

 

What the hell has happened last night?

 

She remembers going straight to the club alone after leaving Irene with Bogum, drinking and dancing at the club. Some girls came onto her but she pushed them away and then...it is a blank. 

 

It does not help that the first few buttons of her dress shirt is ed. Her belt hanging on her waist is also unbuckled. 

 

Worst of all, she feels sore all around and she has no memory of what happened the night before. 

 

“Holy . I am an idiot. Oh my god. oh my god. oh my god.” Seulgi cries out, pacing around the room in a panic. 

 

“No. This can’t be it. I couldn’t have possibly cheated on Joohyun. No. No. No.” 

 

Wanting to call for help, Seulgi picks up her phone from the bedside table and it is then she finally sees the message. 

 

Baechu: I went out to buy a few ingredients for hangover soup. Don’t worry, I slept on the sofa last night. I left some clothes on the sofa if you would like to wash up before I come home. But, do NOT touch anything else in my house. 

 

“Thank god.” She felt her legs giving way, her abdomen hit the ground with a loud thud. While still panting from the anxiety, she takes a look around the house and blames herself for being so clueless. 

 

She should have known. 

 

The academic certificates hung on one of the walls. 

 

The subtle purple items scattered around her home. Even the bedsheets she slept on are light purple. 

 

The framed picture displayed on the bedside table of Irene with her family.

 

And how could she miss it? 

 

The mountain of softener displayed beside the washing machine, all of the packaging are purple in colour because of their lavender scents. 

 

Seulgi heaves a huge sigh of relief and then, she chuckles at the absurdity of the situation.

 

She has actually made it into Joohyun’s house and all it takes is her to be drunk. That is easier than expected. 

 

Seulgi takes a look at the message again, and realises it is hard to decipher whether Irene is still angry at her or not. So, she simply replies:

 

Gomdori: Okay. See you later :) I love you. 

 

Her finger lingers over the ‘send’ button after she realises what she has just done. It is a phrase that she uses mindlessly when talking to her friends and the audience while performing, but now to send it to her actual girlfriend, it seems inappropriate.

 

Especially when it means something much more than a thoughtless, casual ending to a conversation. When she is saying this to someone she genuinely fancies and cares about more than anything in the world currently. 

 

She knows she should say “I love you” to her Joohyun only when she really mean it. It is okay, she can wait. Because she has a feeling that it will not be long till the day comes. 

 

Seulgi proceeds to delete the last sentence before sending it. Afterwards, the captain decides to give herself a quick house tour around the studio apartment. 

 

First, she skips to the study table in the corner of the house. A regular white wooden table with minimalistic items placed on it: only a digital clock, pen holder with one pen and one pencil and a Newton’s cradle. 

 

Meanwhile, her books are all neatly arranged in one corner and even thicker books are also present in the large cabinet beside her table. 

 

Everything is arranged so perfectly and pleasing to the eyes, just like Joohyun. 

 

The large whiteboard in front of the study table is filled with small notes and many dates ranging from council events to interview dates with organisations she does not even know. 

 

Seulgi smiles, thinking how Joohyun is amazing for being able to juggle between so many commitments. Not only is she pretty, but also smart, extremely hardworking and most importantly, has a beautiful heart. 

 

How did she end up with such a perfect girlfriend? 

 

When she is the exact opposite. 

 

She lifts one of the spheres at the end of the Newton’s cradle and releases it, hearing the clear ‘tak’ sound reverberate throughout the room as two metal spheres crash. She watches as the energy gets transferred to the other end, where the sphere elevates a short distance before coming down again with another ‘tak’ sound. 

 

The sound is somehow comforting at times like this when the emptiness in her mind is so deafening. 

 

She lets a soft sigh escape her lips while her sight finally lands on the few photos displayed on the left side of the board by small cute ribbon magnets. 

 

“Eh photos?” She muses, leaning in to take a closer look. 

 

The first photo is one with her council buddies, her favourite clique of friends. In the photo, all six of them are sitting by the lake and smiling brightly at the photo. Good, she tells herself, after seeing Bogum is sitting on the other side from Irene. 

 

The second photo below the first is a little more yellow than the rest. It shows a few kids sitting around the ground with toys strewn all over the floor. It is obvious to figure out which one is Irene. Those big and bright eyes looking upon the other children with a glare could only belong to one person. 

 

Stifling a chuckle, she moves on to the next photo, which features the Bae family posing in front of a school in what seems like a middle school graduation ceremony. In the middle of her family of four, Irene is holding onto a plaque and beaming brightly while her other family members also spot similar proud grins on their faces. 

 

Looking at the Bae family, it is obvious where Irene got her good looks from. 

 

She traces down and the next magnet features surprisingly...nothing. 

 

There is no photo stuck under it. 

 

Seulgi frowns and searches around the area, in search of a photo that may have dropped but she found nothing. 

 

“That’s weird...wait.” Seulgi suddenly spots a small photo edge peeking out of the family photo. She reaches out and carefully removes the magnet, to retrieve the hidden photo. 

 

And, she freezes. 

 

She blinks twice and looks at the photo again. 

 

This cannot be real. 

 

Suddenly, the door open and the guilty bear jumps and screams out of shock. 

 

“Seulgi, what’s wrong?” Irene asks her with a frown, her arms spotting two plastic bags filled with items from the supermarket. Then, she sees the forbidden photo that Seulgi is holding in her hand. 

 

“I told you not to snoop around!” She immediately drops her items and runs to Seulgi to snatch it out of her hand. 

 

Seulgi notices the pink blush on her girlfriend’s cheeks and stutters, “I-I’m sorry.” 

 

Ire