The Reason For His Fear

Beneath The Mask

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zxTf3JrCJY 

The soft pit pat of rain on the roof was the first sound that greeted Cheondoong’s ears when he awoke. Cheondoong blinked blearily as he also felt a soft, warm pressure on his cheek. He soon realized that his head was laying on something cushy, almost like a pillow.

Once his vision cleared up, he looked up to find Minah’s face only inches from his. He felt his heart stop for a second. Luckily her mask covered her face from his; if it wasn’t there he would surely have stopped breathing as well.

Minah’s chest gently rose and fell in a steady rhythm. Cheondoong began to find himself getting entranced just by watching her sleep. He felt the sudden urge to pull her mask off. The curiosity was killing him; he wanted to see her face. He needed to see what she looked like.

Lifting his hand slowly and gently, he reached out and traced the mask first. It felt cool and smooth under his finger tips. There were tiny intricate patterns engraved in the mask that were not visible from far away. They intrigued Cheondoong and he temporarily forgot about his previous reasons for touching Minah’s mask.

His fingers trailed over the mask and stopped on the lips. He felt a tiny flutter in his heart at the thought of his fingers being just millimeters apart from Minah’s lips; the only thing separating them was the thin material of the mask.

Slowly moving his hand down, Cheondoong lightly gripped the edge of the mask and prepared to lift it up. The moment was so suspenseful for him that he didn’t even realize he was holding his breath. Right when he was about to yank the mask off, Minah’s hand shot up and grabbed his wrist.

Cheondoong yelped in surprise and his eyes bugged out. Minah’s intense glare pierced through him and he immediately regretted trying to take off her mask. Not only was she angry but, Cheondoong could also see she was hurt. She had given him a little trust and he had blatantly stomped all over it.

“What are you doing?” Minah questioned. The fact that her tone was flat and emotionless seemed to drill into Cheondoong’s heart more, filling him with guilt. The words seemed lost to him as he attempted to come up with some believable explanation as to why in the world he would be touching Minah’s mask.

“I-I…I’m sorry,” were the only words he managed to get out. Minah seemed to contemplate something for a moment as she loosened her hold on Cheondoong’s wrist. He sat up slowly and realized he had been lying on Minah’s lap. His cheeks flushed and he was glad that Minah wasn’t paying any attention to him at the moment.

“Make me something to eat,” Minah suddenly said, jolting Cheondoong from his thoughts. The statement was so out of character for Minah and so out of context that Cheondoong couldn’t help but stare at her with his jaw hung open.

“W-what?” He stammered, absolutely baffled. “I’m hungry. It looks like it’s dinner time right now and we both missed lunch,” Minah replied simply.

*Does this mean that she forgives me?*

Minah started to stand up so Cheondoong followed suit. Rotating her neck slowly, Minah felt the stiffness from sleeping with her head drooping. Her fingers brushed against a small scratch on her neck and she winced. Pulling her fingers away, she noticed a small trace of blood.

Cheondoong saw it too and he gasped. “H-how did that happen?!” He exclaimed. Minah shrugged her shoulders and grabbed a tissue from the counter. Wiping the blood off, she turned towards Cheondoong again.

“So, what’s for dinner?”

Cheondoong stared at the cut for a while before turning around and rifling through the fridge. However, he couldn’t get his mind off the scratch.

He was pulling out some ingredients to make fried rice when it hit him. He was the one who had hurt Minah. Although it was a blurry memory, he recalled lashing out once the thunder had sounded. He vaguely remembered hearing Minah cry out in pain.

Guilt washed over him once again. Not only had he caused a dent in Minah’s trust for him, he also hurt her physically. Even if his fear of thunder had consumed him, it was still no plausible excuse for what he did.

Minah watched curiously as Cheondoong placed the ingredients on the counter and walked over to a cupboard. Opening it, he grabbed the first aid kit.

*What is he doing? Don’t tell me it’s for my neck.*

Her prediction was right when Cheondoong trudged over and smiled softly at Minah. His eyes seemed dull; their original brightness was gone at the moment.

“I’m sorry. I did this to you,” he said as he lightly rubbed disinfectant on the cut. Minah flinched at the stinging feeling but remained still as Cheondoong treated the small wound. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. I’m not mad at all.”

Cheondoong only smiled in reply to Minah’s attempt to rid his guilt. Placing a Pokémon band-aid on Minah’s neck, he gently patted it down. “I hope you don’t mind having Pikachu on your neck,” he joked lightly.

“I don’t mind. I like Pikachu,” Minah responded. Hearing about Pikachu made her think of Joon, which in turn made her smile.

Taking a deep breath, Cheondoong knew he couldn’t feel guilty forever. If Minah had forgiven him so quickly, then he had to forgive himself too. A bright smile curled up on his lips.

“Well, I guess I should start making dinner.” At that precise moment, both of their stomachs growled. Cheondoong chuckled and Minah grinned. “It seems like our stomachs are definitely ready for dinner.”

Minah nodded and they both began to cook together. They divided up the tasks; Cheondoong was in charge of cooking the rice and then cooking it in the frying pan. Minah cut up the vegetables and meat. While Cheondoong stirred the rice, Minah would throw the vegetables and meat in, occasionally adding in the necessary spices. The pair fell into a natural rhythm together, as if they had been doing this for years.

Once the meal was finished, they set up the table and dug in. There weren’t many words exchanged, only an occasional comment on the taste of the food. For the most part, Cheondoong thought about Minah. He tried to piece together the puzzle that was known as Minah’s mind. He could never understand what she was thinking or feeling.

Meanwhile, Minah was thinking about Cheondoong. What was it that made him react that way to the sound of thunder? What exactly triggered that fear? And, what had happened to his parents?

The two of them had things to say to one another and they were anxious to question the other. After they ate and cleaned their dishes, Cheondoong led the way to the living room again.

By now, even the rain had stopped. It made it seem like the storm earlier in the day had not happened. The sun was peeking out from behind the dark gray clouds. It was a little ray of brightness in the bleak city.

“Let’s sit at the piano,” Minah suggested. She knew that she would feel more comfortable by the piano. It was beautiful and had attracted her attention the most in the apartment. Cheondoong nodded in consent and the pair sat down on the bench.

Everything was silent for a moment. The absence of the pit pat of rain made the silence even more deafening. Finally, Cheondoong cleared his throat and prepared to speak.

“Umm, well. H-how are you?” He asked, stuttering a little. He cursed himself in his mind for sounding nervous.

*Come on Cheondoong, this isn’t the first time you’ve talked to her.*

“I’m fine. But what about you?” Minah paused for a moment, gathering the courage to ask him the question that was pestering her mind. “…Why are you afraid of thunder?”

Cheondoong hadn’t seen this coming. He would never have thought that Minah would actually care about why he was afraid of thunder. He thought she would find it as some childish thing. He even had to think about why he was afraid too.

Inhaling slowly, Cheondoong began to tell her the reason why. “I’m afraid of thunder because of something that happened years ago, when I was a kid.”

Cheondoong’s fingers glided over the keys of the piano as he worked out what he would say. He also needed to gather up the strength and courage to bring up the painful memories again. Minah played a small tune and Cheondoong looked up at her.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me.”

Smiling a little, Cheondoong shook his head. “It’s fine. I want to tell you. I want you to know more about me so maybe you’ll tell me about yourself someday.”

Minah stopped playing and gazed at Cheondoong. He composed himself and began his story. Once he started, the words seem to flow from his mouth more easily. It was like letting go of the pain he had locked up. A weight was being lifted from him as he confided what had always remained deeply ingrained in his heart.

He recalled how he had felt at the age of nine, crouched under the bed listening to the sound of gun shots. The endless screaming and the thud of the men’s footsteps. And finally, the sight of his mother falling over in front of him, her eyes closed and mouth open and stuck in a moment of fear. But it wasn’t fear for herself; it was fear for the life of her precious son.

Cheondoong told Minah about how he had thought the sound of the guns being shot sounded so much like thunder. Every single gunshot he heard resonated in his mind like the sound of thunder cracking in the sky. Coupling that with the horrific image of his mother’s lifeless corpse right in front of him left him scarred mentally.

Minah listened intently, searching Cheondoong’s face for any sign that he was about to break down. The only tell-tale signs she saw were the glistening tears in his eyes and the slight tremble of his lower lip.

While he talked, Minah softly played a piece on the piano in order to calm him. It worked since the wetness in his eyes disappeared and he didn’t show any sign of quivering. Cheondoong felt grateful that he could hear something other than his own voice spelling out the tragic story of his childhood. The music soothed him.

He finished speaking right when Minah hit the last note of the piece. The beautiful sound resonated in the room and echoed in their ears.

Turning her gaze toward Cheondoong again, Minah suddenly felt a new feeling as she stared at him. She felt closer to him after finding out about his past. She realized that even the most cheerful people can have the most terrible things happen to them. She found it amazing how Cheondoong could smile so much even after losing his parents. Of course, she wasn’t necessarily sure how she would feel if her parents passed away.

And then she also felt an overwhelming guilt press down on her. Here she was, wallowing in self-pity for having parents that abandoned her when Cheondoong had lost his in the worst way possible. She had also judged him as being arrogant and spoiled since he was an idol when she first saw him. She realized just how wrong she had been.

“I’m sorry.” Those two words didn’t seem to have much behind them. They couldn’t bring back Cheondoong’s parents but Minah said them anyway. She had no idea what else to say. What was a person supposed to say when someone told them that their parents were killed?

“I don’t have parents either,” Minah added. She didn’t want to go into detail about it yet; she still didn’t feel strong enough to bring up those memories. She still quaked with fear when she saw the scars on her stomach.

Cheondoong took in her words and the connection clicked into place. They were both the same. They were both alone, orphans. Of course it wasn’t something he was glad to have in common with her, but at least it was something.

The air seemed heavier now after the two confessions. Cheondoong didn’t like the feeling so he decided to lighten the mood.

“So, let’s do something more fun than talk about the past,” he suggested. Minah looked at him and saw the genuine smile on his face. She placed her hand on his for a second and squeezed it gently. Cheondoong felt grateful for the small gesture of comfort.

“What are we going to do?” Minah asked. He grinned widely and placed his hands on the piano keys.

“We’re going to play the piano,” he replied. Then, he started to move his fingers over the keys, playing a simple tune. Minah watched him for a second as his fingers danced on the piano. She felt that light, fluttery feeling in her heart again as she placed her hands on the piano too.

Minah played in the lower octave while Cheondoong took charge of the higher one. She started playing a tune that fit with Cheondoong’s perfectly. The two sounds meshed together to form one gorgeous sounding piece.

The pair played around a little, speeding up the tempo and creating a quick, light-hearted tune. Then they would slow down and play out a soft and slow piece.

Smiling so widely that her cheeks hurt, Minah let go of her worries and pain as she did what she loved most. Her heartbeat danced along with the rhythm of the piano as her fingers fluttered over the keys.

Cheondoong glanced at Minah and noticed her swaying her head back and forth almost imperceptibly. The joy that was radiating from her was clear to Cheondoong and it brought happiness to him too.

It felt like those two were lost in their own time while the rest of the world flew by. Soon, the sun was beginning to set and the pair knew that they had to stop.

Minah was slightly disappointed but she still left anyways, allowing Cheondoong to drive her home in his car. The car ride was silent and peaceful, the melodies from earlier still playing in their minds.

When Cheondoong stopped in front of the apartment building, he quickly scrambled out of his seat and went out to open Minah’s door for her. She nodded in thanks and started to walk inside.

“Wait!” Cheondoong called out. Pausing in her tracks, Minah turned around and looked at Cheondoong. A warm smile was on his face as he waved to her. “I’ll see you tomorrow, right? We can have lunch together.”

There was a small moment of hesitation but Minah still said yes in the end. “Sure, I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night Cheondoong-ssi.” She turned to go again until Cheondoong called her name.

“Hold on, Minah.” She stopped and waited for him to speak. “Call me by my real name. And drop the ‘ssi’. We’re friends now aren’t we?”

Cheondoong held his breath as he awaited her answer. His heart thumped wildly, afraid that she would say no.

“Yeah, we’re friends Sanghyun-ah.”

Without turning around, Minah gave Cheondoong a small wave and rushed inside the building. Cheondoong was left standing there, frozen like a statue.

Yeah, we’re friends Sanghyun-ah.

That one phrase resounded in Cheondoong’s mind over and over. It filled him with such pure joy and ecstasy that it was almost overwhelming.

*Minah and I are friends now. We are friends.*

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huskylover200
sequel is posted! I hope you all enjoy it :) and please check out my new fic Ride the Wind too ^.^

Comments

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Nyoko92
#1
Chapter 5: The beginning and the description of every member is just so genius. i'm so happy i found a worth reading fic!!
and i'm so happy that there's a sequel!!!!!! \\\(>w<\)
sweet-suzy #2
I LOVE THIS STORY!! Oh my yonngyukkie! I love how you put in so many stars... Just dropped them in randomly!

Lovely story, amazing storyline, superb vocabulary, just truly phenomenal! Loved every bit of it!
hellopanda23 #3
Hhhhahsbsb I just started reading this. I am not done yet but :( he is gone!!! It was funny. Kind of. I didn't want him with her but I didn't want him goneeee. (don't want to spoil it for ppl who read later)
Sophiaa #4
Well done! A great story i enjoed so so much!
leficklerabbit #5
yayyyyyyyyyyyy~!! :D SEQUEL! :D I LUVE YOU AUTHOR! <3
kayytran #6
OMG! It's the end! This story was really good, I enjoyed reading it (:
ItzJaeKay #7
Ahhh it ended
Haha they are all together
But I wonder who is the guy that she will love and marry later on
leficklerabbit #8
How can I only find this fic NOW?
YOU HAVE TO MAKE A SEQUEL!!!
Subscribed... So if you have a sequel POST THE LINK!! :D
HAHA~!^^