Wished that I could turn back the time. Those moments that made me, made us so happy.

I knew I ed up.

But I can't help it. I was never into this kind of relationships. After you confessed, I suddenly had a mental block and I couldn't think straight.

I remember you said to just forget what you did and said sorry because friendship is important over love.

But I was a and turned you down immediately and not hearing your explanation. I despised you too much to the point that I never wanted to see you ever again.

I saw your eyes full of tears, saying sorry multiple times and saying you didn't expect it too. You wanted to hold my hand, just as what we casually do but I yelled at you, shoved you down, earning some attentions at the party and saying never touch nor talk to me ever again.

Your eyes are now full of tears, tears that show how you felt really guilty, but majority was because of the pain. The unbearable pain that I caused. You looked at me for the last time, and said sorry again, running towards the exit and didn't show up ever again.

After a month, yes, a month passed after that incident, and this moment I knew I really ed up.

Because right now, I really really missed you so so much. I wanted to say sorry to you for acting like that and just to consider your confession again and to take time. But I can't seem to find my courage.

I want to go talk to you but I can't find you in the school after what happened. When I called you and I didn't expect you to answer it after 3 rings, I was really excited to hear your voice after how many weeks of not hearing it. But sadly, it wasn't yours, but from your mom. I told your mom if I can talk to you, but she said I can't and I cannot talk to you ever again. I knew this would happen after what I've done to you. I tokd your mom that I will apologize to you and I want to make things up between us.

But my world shattered after hearing the most shocking and painful news from your mom. You committed suicide last week because of the pain that you cannot bear anymore. That your last words was again saying sorry to me, even if I wasn't by your side that time. That hit me, deeply inside.

Your lovely smile, your eyes that displays sunshine, your humors, your heart warming laughs, your warm hugs, and most importantly, you. I will miss all of those. Now, I am the one saying sorry repeatedly, infront of your grave.

I'm really sorry.

I love you. Please comeback.

--------

Sorry if it's lame.