I travel for the whole day, it was tiring but I had to keep on going so I can go home. Back home to my family. When the day finally ended, I take Hidzume and I guide him to a stream that I happen to remember when I was traveling. I set up camp against a tree along the bank of the stream, the moonlight giving the whole area a gentle wash of silver. Hidzume drank from the stream, and I eat a little of the food that Kagome packed for me. I fed Hidzume as well and then I let him rest beside me. I don't have my koto anymore so I don't know what else to do except look up at the starry night, it's so serene, but lonely. I lay the blankets underneath me and then drape the other one over my shoulders. I lean against the tree and look at the flowing water, I smile. Since I have nothing to do, I decided to warm up my fingers and position them over my legs. I pretend that I have my koto on my lap and I close my eyes and move my fingers over the imaginative strings, I imagine the notes in my mind as my fingers glides over the air. I smile as I imagine the song that I played, it's the song that I composed and played it for Sesshomaru, many months ago. I open my eyes as I remember that night, memories comes back to me like a wave. I look at my hands and I see the scar on my left hand. I then remember when I guided his hand with my own over the koto, the memories are blinding. I realized that the scars on my body reminds me of Sesshomaru. They are nostalgic and melancholic, but it's the past and I need to move on. I take out the jade bottle that I kept close to my chest, I trace my fingers over the engravings, the warmth on the surface is soothing. I then unplug the cork on the bottle and the smell of sweet fragrant olives comes flowing out the bottle, it surrounds me and calms my mind. Hidzume then suddenly snorts surprising me, I then smile.

"Sorry Hidzume, looks like the smell is pretty strong isn't it?" I ask him. 

He breathes in and exhales loudly and then goes then quiets down again. I turn around to look at the bottle again, I plug it up again but the smell is still surrounds me. I begin to wonder why Sesshomaru gave me perfume, if I had to wonder about types of gifts that he would give to someone, they would be kimonos, hairpins, and accessories. Never guessed perfumes would be one. Regardless, I smile and place it beside me. I scoot down onto my blanket and I close my eyes, I slowly drift off into a slumber surrounded by the sweet smell of fragrant olives. I wake up to the morning sun shining over me and through my eyelids, I wake up and stretch out my bad. I sit there for a bit trying to come to my senses, I look around the area. The place is beautiful, the clear water reflecting the sunlight and it sparkles. The green trees and bushes surrounds the area. I eat a little bit of the bread and fruits and I sit by the bank and place my feet into the cool water. I wash my face with the cool water to further help me wake up and become energized. I brush my finger through my long hair, I then pick up the  perfume and dab my finger with a bit of the liquid aroma and swipe it down the nape of my neck. The smell caresses me lightly, and my mood lightens drastically. 

"Let's go Hidzume, we got another day and a half." I say giving Hidzume a pat on his mane.

I tuck the bottle back in my kimono and hop onto Hidzume, I gave the place one last glance and then rode off. I was on the rode for as much as I could, occasionally to rest a little bit for Hidzume's sake. Riding for hours on a horse can be really tiring, not to mention painful at times as well. The day went from blue sky, to pale blue, to fiery orange, and then finally transitions into dusky blue. Before we know it, the day ends once again. I lead Hidzume towards some trees amongst the grassy plain. We finish the rest of the food before it became spoiled. Hidzume rests beside me, I lay out the blankets down and I lay down on it. I stare up at the stars dazzling in the distant night sky, the crescent moon hangs in the center of it all. As I look at it, the crescent moon reminds me of the moon on Sesshomaru's forehead. I groan and I put my hands over my eyes, now I only see the darkness.

"Everything I see reminds of Sesshomaru... I need to stop. I can't stop thinking about him like this... what will happen after I return home? If I think about him like this every night.... I think I'll eventually go crazy. Get a hold of yourself__________, don't let yourself be this weak." I say to myself quietly.

I then turn on my side and close my eyes. I let the quietness of the field lull me to sleep. Hours passed, when I wake up, it's morning once again. I get up and rub my eyes, the morning sun is really bright right after you wake up. Hidzume is eating the grass on the field nearby, I smile at the beautiful plain laid out in front of me. Today is the day that I go home. I stretch and pack up my things, I dab a little of the fragrant olive once again... and probably the last time to give myself that energy boost that I need to finish the journey home. 

"We're going home today Hidzume, let's hit the home run alright? Let's go!" I say giving him a pat on the forhead and I hop onto his back. 

I give the reigns a snap and we set off towards home. We took our time today because we know we'll be home by sundown, we took strolls across fields, the grassy plains, along streams. We ingested the last bit of beautiful sceneries before our road trip ends in just another few hours. They are even more beautiful than when I saw them the first time. We rode through the openess the world has created, soon I can see the familiar surroundings that lays on the outskirts of my home. I stop Hidzume on top of a hill with a field of blooming flowers not far away, and not so far in the distance is my village. I look up at the sky that has now turned a dusky orange, I then look behind me to see the road that I had once went on and re. 

"I'm finally home, my journey is finally over it seems. Although it started off just a simple trip to see the world, but it somehow turned into something so much more. Fate sure takes us on many turn of events doesn't it?" I ask myself with a smile.

I then turn around and gallop towards the my village. The sky has turned dark the moment I reached my estate, I stand in front of the entrance to my estate. I don't want to open the door to my house, because if I do I will really put all those thoughts of Sesshomaru to the back of mind. But I already made the decision to. Suddenly the door opens and my mother comes out, she sees me and her eyes goes wide.

"____________?! Is that you?!" She asks me surprised.

"Hello mother, I'm home." I say with a smile.

She opens the gates bigger and runs towards me and hugs me, I hug her back knowing how much she missed me.

"I'm so happy that you're back safe and sound. You must have traveled long and far, come on let's get dinner prepared. We can talk about your trip while eating." She says smiling.

She then takes my hand and guides me into the entrance, back home. My mom calls everyone in the estate, everyone comes out of their rooms or what they were doing to see me. Yorokobi and my father comes to the "living room" and the smile just forms on their faces.

"_____________, daughter you're finally home." My father says giving me hug.

"I'm finally home father, hope you've all been well." I say hugging him back.

"We missed you so much, you have to tell us everything later! I can't wait to tell you what has happened in these few months." Yorokobi says hugging me.

"Can't wait, I'm happy that you found someone special. My little sister is going to have a beautiful future." I say giving her neatly brushed hair a ruffle.

"Come on, dinner is ready." My mother says. 

We then all head to the eating room, food laid out in front of us. They were exquisite, seeing such food and the people I'm eating these food with, reminds me so much of Inuyasha and the others when we would enjoy a fun dinner together everyday. As we eat, I told them about the other villages that visited and stayed in. The experiences of me making money with my koto performances. The people that I've met, Inuyasha, Kagome, Sango, Lady Kaede, Miroku, Shippo, the twins and the Sango and Miroku's son. How Inuyasha is a half demon and married to a human. The things that I've learned and experiences that I've encountered. I told them everything except my near death experiences, and me falling in love with Sesshomaru. Of course, and Sesshomaru himself. 

"That is wonderful__________, looks like this trip was really worth it wasn't it? It seems like you've gained a lot of life experiences didn't you?" My father asks me.

"Yea I sure did. They are memories and people I'll never forget." I reply with a my smile.

"Weird, I feel something is missing the moment I saw you. Where is your koto?" My mother asks me.

"Oh... uh... well... it broke." I say slowly.

"The strings snapped? You know you could've just brought it home and we could get it fixed." Yorokobi says.

"Well the strings snapped yes... and the whole koto itself. I uhm... dropped it hard along the way and it split in half." I confessed.

"Oh..." they all responded.

"So I'm planning on getting a new koto tomorrow." I say with a small laugh.

"Ya of course dear, you go and take care of things." My mother says with a laugh.

I nod. We finish up and we all head to bed to rest. I enter my own room after months. The place looks just the same before I left it, but it looks like the maids have been keeping it clean from dusts. My mother then comes in.

"Mother, aren't you going to rest?" I ask her surprised. 

"I will, I just came here to give you something." She says handing me a wrapped bundle. 

"What is it?" I ask her.

"Your father and I went out a few days ago after receiving your letter. We saw this beautiful kimono and thought that it'll fit you nicely. From looking at the kimono that you are wearing it seems like you went through a lot." She says looking at my pale blue patched up kimono.

"Thank you mother." I say.

I open the bundle to see that it's furisode kimono. It's a kimono with long sleeves, it's a darker blue shade with green and yellow leaves sewn in silk on the bottom of the sleeves. There's a white obi with crescent moons decorated on it. Also inside is a golden hairpin in the shape of a koi fish. 

"Your father bought that for you, I suppose it counts as a late late late birthday gift. Rest early now. Goodnight________." My mother says giving me a hug.

"Goodnight." I say with a smile.

She leaves my room after, I look down at the new beautiful silk kimono in my hands. It feels like the night before I left on my journey, the kimono, the late birthday present. Everthing. I put the kimono on my table. I tie up my hair into a bundle and I take off my pale blue kimono, taking off the kimono feels like I'm shedding away all the time I've spent in these past few months. I put on my night gown. I fold the kimono gently and place it inside a big box in my room that I keep my precious things in. I then take the jade bottle of scented fragrant olives. I trace my fingers over the engravings again, I then walk to my window and I pulled off the cork. The smell immediately fills the room, the smell also flows out the open window. I then plug it back on. I walk over to the box and place it gently ontop of my kimono.

"I'll be putting you away now, but you'll always be the most precious thing to me." I say to it. 

I then close the box. I lay out my futon and blow out the candles. I lay down on my futon and stare up at the ceiling.

"I'm finally home. Starting tomorrow, I'll be walking towards the future that is laid out in front of me. No more avoiding it." I say with a smile. 

I then close my eyes and slumber takes over my consciousness. The next morning arrives. I wash up and I put on the new kimono, the sleeves almost touching the ground. It's so different and more elegant and I'm not use to it, hopefully in time I will. I take the hairpin that my father bought me, I twist my long hair together and I pin it to the back of my head into a bun. A few of the shorter stands of my hair falls lightly around my face. I have a new kimono that is so formal and elegant, my once carefree braided hair is now pinned at the back of my head neatly. I feel like a whole different person, it's frightening to be honest. In the afternoon, Yorokobi accompanied me out into the village to help me pick out a new koto. 

"So tell me about this special person?" I ask her.

"Well, I met him almost in the middle of winter. It was said that a family of lords and ladies are coming to some of the villages for a few days to see if they can make some trades. They came to our village and I met their son, his name is Shinko. We met on the streets one day and I could feel an immediate attraction between us. We spent time together for the remaining few days, before he left he said that he loved me and will come back and ask my hand in marriage after some preparations and talking with his parents. He's coming in 2 more days, we're holding the wedding ceremony here." Yorokobi says with a smile.

"That's wonderful, I'm so happy for you. Looks like my little sister is finally grown up." I say giving her hug. 

"Thanks___________. Have you found anyone special yet?" Yorokobi asks me.

I look ahead in the crowded streets and smiled.

"I did, but I come to the belief it was a one sided love on my part. He also believe that there are things he needed to accomplish, and I felt like I was standing in the way of is goals. So I decided to pull myself out of his life. Because I realized in the end that we're completely two different people." I say to Yorokobi.

"___________, I hope you'll find happiness with that special someone soon. I'll be praying for the day when you'll get married in a beautiful dress." Yorokobi says holding my hand.

"Thanks Yorokobi. I'm a bit jealous that my younger sister is taking a step into her next chapter before I did. But I should be proud, really proud." I say giving her hand a gently squeeze.

We finally arrive at my favorite koto shop, the table were lined with beautifully designed kotos. There were carved kotos and kotos with jade embedded in the designs. Yorokobi finally picked one out for me, it's a light brown wooden koto, it's polished with oil and wax. The strings were pulled and tuned perfectly, the designs were simple. It's a carved cherry blossom tree with a few petals floating about across the wooden body of the koto. It is dyed in a pale shade of red. I paid the maker of the kotos and I carried it back home with me with Yorokobi. We spent the whole day talking and just spending time together, laughing and playing. The beautiful spring season is breathtaking. That night before bed, I change into my night gown and let my hair fall down from their bindings. I place my new koto on my lap. I look out the window and I see the half moon in the night sky as always. 

"Yorokobi is getting married... it reminds me so much of when Rin when she told me she met that special someone. Everything seem to happen all over again. Rin's like my younger sister, she got married and has moved to live with her lord. Yorokobi is going to get married and will live with her lord after, I'm practically reliving my memories all over again. Although it's melancholic and painful, I should be happy that Yorokobi has finally found her happiness." I say to myself with a smile.

I then look back down to my new koto, I place my fingers above it. I close my eyes and think of the song that I want to play. I let my fingers do its thing and let it strum the first note, the very first sound echos through my room, but then I stop. I open my eyes and look down to my hands, I couldn't continue. I want to move my fingers over the strings that are so familiar to me. But they won't move. I see the scar on my left hand and my heart aches.

"I don't remember it... I don't remember the song." I say to myself. 

I forgot the very song that I once composed, the very song that I wrote and played for Sesshomaru. The song that acted as my voice for my feelings. I couldn't remember it. I put the koto down on the floor beside me, I then blow out the candles and lay down in my futon. I look out the window and tears begin to fall. 

"How did I forget? How did I forget the very song that I wrote and means so much to me?" I ask myself mentally.

I close my eyes and silently let the tears fall down on my cheeks. I once said that a musician will get rusty, but they will never forget how to play once they start. But tonight, I forgot. Honestly, I don't really know myself. Did I actually forget? Or did I choose to forget without knowing on the way home? If I did.... did I choose to forget it because the song brings back so much memories of him? Will I ever find my own happiness in this state?