Nayeon’s Sunshine

-Mina-

If there is one thing that Nayeon hates the most, it’s sharing what is hers. Call her possessive, she doesn’t care. But for twenty-eight years, she had learned not to share her possessions because it will eventually be taken or stolen from her. For Nayeon, everything she owns is hers alone. If she will share, they will have to go through a needle’s hole. Of course there are some people who are exempted from that. She doesn’t mind if Jeongyeon or Chaeyoung touches her stuff because those two are the two people she trusts most in the world. She doesn’t mind if her dog bites and chews every slippers or shoes she owns. But it will be a different story if someone else touches what’s hers.

So when Nayeon came home last night, she grabbed the box hidden under her bed for almost three years already and opened it. Her place is nothing big. It was a small apartment in the city. Cheap, a little rusty and rough on the outside but it’ll do since she’s just starting her new life as a teacher. She just moved in not more than a month ago after she got her first paycheck. She was feeling more than embarrassed to crash at Jeongyeon’s place every night, which the latter didn’t mind to be honest. But Nayeon has a mind of her own. She wants to be independent. And living alone, like what she had been doing for twelve years already. Her family is in the province, hoping for her monthly remittance. As the breadwinner, of course she had to limit herself from buying all the stuff she wants.

Nayeon, for one, loves clothes. But she can’t possibly buy expensive ones because if she did, her family would starve. So everything she owns? She bought in a thrift shop. She just washes it three times and then submerge it in boiling water to kill bacteria. Ending is, she has almost new clothes. Well, new for her. She doesn’t mind though. Her youngest sister is almost done with college and all because she’s working hard. Even if she’ll have to walk for almost five kilometers a day instead of riding the bus to get to work, it’s okay. As long as her family is eating well and her sister doesn’t have to worry about anything aside from studying.

Opening the box meant opening past wounds she did not want to see ever again. But like what Jeongyeon had told her, she needs to take the first step. Especially if she wants to claim Mina. She needs to fix her torn pieces first and foremost. It’s funny because Nayeon often hears that time will heal everything. But no, sometimes, time just makes you used to the emptiness but you don’t really forget about the pain. Instead, the pain will be etched to you until it becomes part of who you are. Nayeon took a small paper and opened it, reading the words she once loved to read over and over again.

How are you, love? I miss you. -Jihyo

She felt herself being broken again. When Nayeon first moved to the city, she met the girl she planned to spend the rest of her life with. She was young back then. At the age of sixteen, she took a risk and went to the city to look for a job and help provide for her family. When she got her first job as a cashier in a small cafe, Nayeon met Park Jihyo. The girl was a regular and was studying music in a prestigious school nearby. Nayeon already loves music back then. So every time Jihyo would come to the cafe with her guitar, Nayeon would watch and be amazed. Jihyo’s voice sounded like an angel’s.

They became friends. Jihyo was almost two years younger than her but they clicked. Thanks to Jihyo, Nayeon landed her second part time job. It was as a singer in a local pub. When Nayeon turned eighteen, she was already juggling three jobs. Her job as a cashier, her job as a singer, and her job as a service crew in a fast food restaurant. She was living in an even smaller apartment back then. Just enough space for a double sized futon, a bathroom, and a small space for kitchen. It was the only space she could afford with her salary. Since eighty percent of her money goes to her family, she had to make do with the twenty percent left.

With those three jobs, Jihyo managed to get Nayeon some small rackets as a singer for a wedding, an emcee for an event, everything they could do to get money, they do it together. Nayeon wasn’t sure why Jihyo did that since the girl was practically rich but she didn’t mind. It was better for Nayeon to be around Jihyo. She felt safe with the younger girl around. Nayeon would go home from her restaurant work and see Jihyo inside her cramped apartment with the brightest smile and food between her hands. They will sleep beside each other, cuddling. And when the morning comes, Nayeon would walk Jihyo to the university. She did ask if it was okay for Jihyo not to go home and the latter nodded, saying that her parents gave her a condo unit near school and thinks that she’s sleeping there. Nayeon didn’t argue anymore.

When Jihyo turned eighteen, Nayeon was already turning twenty years old. That’s when everything changed between them. Jihyo went home to Nayeon’s apartment one night and confessed that she has feelings for the older girl. Nayeon tried to reason out that she won’t be able to give anything to Jihyo because she’s almost as poor as a homeless man but the younger girl didn’t budge. Nayeon already had feelings for Jihyo even before the younger confessed. As early as eighteen, she already knew that she loved Jihyo more than a friend. Every cuddling night, she cherished so much. So when Jihyo confessed, she did nothing but kiss the younger girl. Make her feel the love she had kept hidden for years.

Since then, they’ve been nothing but happy. Nayeon moved in Jihyo’s condo unit. They would make love until morning during rest days. When it’s weekdays, Nayeon will go to work while Jihyo studies music. It was almost the perfect relationship. Nayeon finally felt like she would survive the world even with all the challenges thrown at her. Why not? Jihyo was beside her, holding her hand, keeping her strong. Often times they would write letters to each other and leave them on the refrigerator. Nayeon loved every moment of it. 

Nayeon’s job as a singer in a local pub had to end because the pub was closing. She