Key’s POV

I quickly made my way backstage. There, Tae was waiting with a towel and bottle of water for me. As I exited the stage, I saw him smile at me and said-

“Hyung! That was amaz….” But before he could finish his sentence, I rushed pass him, making my way towards the exit. I need to catch up with him! I ran out as fast as I could and quickly made my way toward the auditorium entrance. I saw one of the volunteers standing there.

“Ehh….did you see a person with brown hair and big eyes?? He is a bit shorter than me!” I asked her breathlessly as I tried catching my breath. She looked confused for a minute and then like a eureka moment, she exclaimed,

“Oh! You must be talking about him! Yes, he just left. It was very weird, he just came in like 10 minutes ago and suddenly he left!”

“Left? Can you tell me where he went?!! “

“I think he probably went towards the parking lot as he exited from this door” she told me pointing toward the exit on the left side. I ran with all the strength I had toward the parking lot, I need to catch him before he leaves!!! I ran and ran until finally I saw his small figure in the distance. With a last burst of strength I ran faster calling out to him!

Jonghyun’s POV

“Jonghyunnnn-sssiiiii!”

I heard someone call my name from behind me. It was a very familiar voice. As I turned around, I saw Kibum running towards me with all his might. The moment he reached me, he skidded to a halt, trying to catch his breath. I just stood there looking at him. I don’t know how to react. What am I supposed to do? I decided to wait for him to speak.

After a few minutes, he straightened up and with his closed eye he took some calming breaths, before opening it.

“Ehh….Jonghyun-ssi….” He looked me in the eye, and I held my breath waiting for him to continue.

“Why is this so hard…..” he said to himself before once again look at me and saying-

“I don’t know how to say this but I’m sorry” he said bowing his head. This took me by surprise. I never expected this from him.

“Why are you saying sorry? What are you sorry about”? I asked him in a timid voice. As far as I remember, he didn’t do anything for which he needs to be sorry about.

He looked at me with a guilty expression as he said

“Emm…I…I’m sorry for ruining our dinner date. There’s no excuse for what I did, and I accept it was to make you lose interest in me. But I realized that what I did wasn’t fair on your part. It was wrong of me to ruin something you put so many efforts in “he said with sincerity. I didn’t know how to react to his apology.

“Umm…it’s alright, I understand your position. I’m sorry you had to go through all of this. You don’t have to worry. I spoke to Jinki hyung. He won’t force you into this anymore so you can relax” I told him giving him a small smile. Even though it hurt me to say this, I’d rather watch him be happy than suffer.

Key’s POV

I couldn’t believe my ears. How can this guy still think about me and my happiness after what I did to him! I couldn’t help but feel ashamed of my actions. I decided to open up. For the first time in so many years I will be letting someone who isn’t family in on my scars. I looked him in eye as I said my next words-

“Can we talk somewhere comfortably? I need to share something with you. That is if you still want to listen to it” he was taken aback but nodded slowly, showing that he wants to listen to me-

“Emmm…..we can go to my studio and talk, it isn’t far from here……that is if it’s fine with you or we can…” he said before he started ramble which I know he does when he is nervous. It’s one thing we both have in common.

“Sure I don’t mind, let’s go” he seemed shocked with my reply but quickly nodded and walked towards his car. When we reached it, he unlocked it for us to get in. As it was freezing out, I quickly climbed in the passenger seat and buckled myself in. Jonghyun-ssi got in and started driving towards his studio. The drive to his studio was spent in silence. We both probably had lot on our minds to make small conversation.

Just as he said, it wasn’t far. We quickly made our way in to escape from this cold wind. This place was just as warm and cozy as its owner’s nature.

Jonghyun’s POV

I led him toward the inner part of the studio where Noona had made sure to set up a small cozy den with a couch and a few chairs. Thank you Noona for being so foresighted!

“Please take a seat; I’ll grab us something warm to drink. What would you like? I have coffee, tea and hot chocolate?” I asked him, noticing him rubbing his arms to warm them. He must have been lost in thoughts as he seemed startled hearing me.

“Hot chocolate sounds nice” he replied as he took a seat on the couch.

I quickly made my way toward the kitchenette. I usually use it to heat food or make coffee when I work late nights on painting. I quickly heated up some water for hot chocolate and grabbed two mugs pouring two sachets of hot chocolate mix followed by hot water. Just for that extra comfort, I decided to add some marshmallows which Minho got me last time he was here. I grabbed both the mugs and made my way toward Kibum, calling out to him.

Key’s POV

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard him call my name. He stood there with two steaming mugs in hand looking at me with those big, innocent eyes. I quickly took one of the mugs from him, allowing him to settle down beside me on the couch. I took a sip from the sweet drink to calm myself. Wow! He even added marshmallows! How did he know I like my hot chocolate with marshmallows?! After taking few sips of the drink, I look at him and I saw him look at me, waiting patiently. I cleared my throat before continuing-

“Well before I start, please promise you won’t interrupt me until I complete what I have to say” saying this I look to see him nod silently. Well, here goes nothing-

“This happen when I was 18, I met this guy at a social event. He was handsome and charming, and a great distraction at an otherwise mundane event. And before I knew it I had already exchanged numbers with him. He started texting and calling me, it was very exciting to have someone dotting on me. Pretty soon we became super close, when one day he suddenly proposed to me. I actually had a slight crush on him since the beginning; hence it was like a fairy tale for me. Prince coming and swooping me from my feet. We started going out soon after that. I hadn’t come out to my family back then, so it was very thrilling for me, sneaking out to meet him, going on dates in secret and all that.” I glanced at him to see if he was keeping up; he just sat there looking at me attentively. I couldn’t keep up the gaze, as the burden of what I was about to share wrecked me. Averting my eyes, I continued-

“Then one day, on our six month anniversary he took me out to have dinner. I had lied to my family saying I was staying over at a friend’s place for some group assignment. He took me to my favorite restaurant and we had my favorite meal. After dinner he took me to his apartment. Before this we had only kissed a few times and held hands. That day he asked me if we can take our relationship further. I wasn’t so sure but I didn’t want to disappoint him so I said yes. We both made our way to his bedroom and as he started touching and kissing me, I don’t know I just felt weird. I wasn’t comfortable with all that. As he started taking off my clothes, I couldn’t take it anymore and pushed him saying I couldn’t continue. I felt so ashamed of myself that I just left the apartment. I remember crying hard, I don’t know why I cried back then but I just did. I felt gross, violated, even though nothing happened. I called hyung and asked him to pick me up from a nearby café. When hyung came to pick me he understood that something was wrong but I just couldn’t tell him. I started avoiding that guy after that. Then, one day I received a video on my phone from him. Initially I didn’t want to open it, but I don’t know why, I did. Everything went down the hill after that.” As I said this I couldn’t help but let out few tears. I rubbed them away; I didn’t want to be weak in front of him. All of a sudden, I felt his hand on my back. I had to try hard not to flinch. Since that night, I hated when people, who weren’t my family, touched me. But his touch didn’t felt weird; on the contrary it felt comforting. He rubbed my back for some time before removing it. I looked at him with a thankful gaze for this silent gesture of comfort. I took a deep breath before continuing-

“That video had scenes from that night, scenes which didn’t even occur. It was clearly edited. Then I got a message which said that if I didn’t pay him a certain amount, he would send that video to my family. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have that kind of money to pay him. I asked hyung for it. He wanted to know why I needed so much money, but I couldn’t tell him. It was so shameful! I paid him what he asked for, but that made him greedy. He kept asking for more, I didn’t know what to do. I was so scared and miserable. When I didn’t reply, he sent that video to my family.” By now I was sobbing uncontrollably. That’s when he did something I would have never expected him to do.

Jonghyun’s POV

It broke my heart seeing him sob uncontrobably. His entire body was shaking as he sobbed. I couldn’t bear it and before I could contemplate my actions, I was already pulling him in my arms. He went stiff as I held him tightly, close to me. I started rubbing his back as a way of comfort before saying-

“It’s ok you don’t have to continue” I said softly. I don’t want to see him break down more. He stayed still in my arms for few moments before pushing me a little and moving back. He rubbed his eyes before giving me a small smile.

Key’s POV

“Thank you” I said softly. No one had been able to calm me so quickly before, not even hyung. But Jonghyun-ssi was able to do it. When he held me, somehow my heart felt calm, it was like everything would be fine if he is here. I decided to continue-

“My parents were out of station when they received that video. I don’t know what they must have felt when they saw their son doing something so shameful. They met with an accident when they were rushing to make their way home. When we got the news, I couldn’t help but blame myself for it. Had they not seen that video, they would still have been here. I became depressed after that, I didn’t want to live. Everything was falling apart all around me. We lost our house and everything my parents’ owned. It was like my relatives were waiting for something like this to happen. I was falling apart, and hyung was busy making sure I didn’t kill myself to care for other things. If it wasn’t for hyung’s efforts, I would have killed myself long back. I’m thankful to Taemin’s family, they took us in and helped hyung look after me. That’s when hyung started modeling. He was approached by Leeteuk hyung before our parents passed away but hyung wasn’t interested so he declined. But after our parents died, he took up that offer. That time he had two things in mind, one, earning so he could support us and the other, finding that guy. He was a model. It was probably destiny but that guy worked in the same agency where hyung was scouted. Hyung worked day and night searching for something to prove that he was guilty and one day he found out that that guy was into illegal gambling. He had a huge debt because of which he was blackmailing me for money. I think Leeteuk hyung had his doubts on him since the start because when hyung showed him proofs, he kicked him out and black listed him from the market. He could never find a job again in this field. Then one day, hyung found him injured on the road side. He was beaten up by his debt collector. Hyung took him to hospital, but he fell into a coma and later passed away. He had too much internal damage.” I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. Every time I recalled all of this, it hurt. All my walls seem to break. “I lost too much for the sake of this fake relationship. My parents were taken away, my brother had to sacrifice his youth and work hard to provide for us. Since then I vowed never to go into any relationship. When hyung introduced you, all my insecurities that I had hidden behind wall came back. I had one thing in mind to make you run away from this relationship. But after what happen that day, it felt wrong. When you dropped me that day, I wanted to apologies, I wanted to tell you that I enjoyed each moment we spent. But for some reason I just couldn’t open my mouth. My heart was conflicted. I spoke to Taeyeon Noona, Taemin’s Sister that night, and what she said made me realize that what I did was wrong. I don’t know if I have the right or not, but please forgive me for what I did. I’m really sorry for ruining that night. Also I want you to know that I did enjoy it. I enjoyed it so much that I forgot that I cooked that plan with Woohyun. And about Woohyun, he is just my other best friend like Taemin, there isn’t anything between us. He was just pretending to be my special person” I said looking at him nervously.

Jonghyun’s POV

As he explained everything, I couldn’t help but find his actions cute. I understood where he was coming from and how difficult it must have been for him after what he went through.

“Kibum-ssi, I don’t know what to say to you. But know this that I forgive you. I understand why you did what you did. And I won’t lie, it did hurt when it happen. I didn’t know what I did wrong. It was my first time trying a relationship. But now I understand why you did it, hence I’m forgiving you. Also, don’t blame yourself for anything; you didn’t do it on purpose. And in case of your hyung working hard to provide you a better life, I’m sure you would have done the same if roles were reversed. I mean I would have done same for Sodam Noona and she would have done same for me as well. Also I would say this not as someone who is supposed to be you’re intended but as a hyung that what happen has happen, we can never change it. But that shouldn’t mean that we shut ourselves from a chance to be happy. Life has beautiful things to offer, so give yourself a chance to take in what life is offering you. Also if it’s not too much I would like to try again, but this time let’s not try it like we are pursuing a relationship, but let do it like we are friends. Let’s get to know each other. If nothing works, I atleast want to be your friend.” Saying this I smiled at him and pushed my hand forward for a shake. What I didn’t expect was for him to readily take it and return my smile.

“I would love to be your friend too” he said smiling softly.

“Well as a sign of this new friendship, you must attend my exhibition” I told him mischievously. He let out a hearty laugh covering his mouth and said

“Of course I would, and just to let you know I need two invites as I would be dragging Taemin too, just to be safe”

“Safe…I wouldn’t…” before I could continue he said-

“Not you, but that tall Keroro friend of yours is pretty scary!!” I couldn’t help but laugh at the way he describe Minho. Minho did tell me that he yelled at Kibum that day when I asked him about the invite.

“Ehhh….please don’t hold it against Minho, he is a nice guy. He just worries about me too much sometime” I told him nervously, to which he waved his hand and said.

“Don’t worry I understand. Taemin would have done the same if he would have been in Minho’s place” he said smiling before continuing “it’s getting late, would you mind dropping me home. I’m exhausted after performing and this entire emotional breakdown…..” “Oh, that reminds me, that song…..” the song he performed, what was it. I looked at him to find him looking down, was it blush on his cheeks.

“Hmmm….well, I kind of like wrote it as an apology” he said. Now he was blushing for sure. His entire face was red. I couldn’t help but ask “Was it for me?”

Hiding his face in his palm he muttered a soft “yes”. I couldn’t help but feel happy. “It was very good, the lyrics I mean. I like it” now it was my turn to blush.