When Yves had called her, Chuu had been overjoyed. Maybe, she was going to invite her out to go out to the park, or they would just fall into easy conversations on the phone, not knowing they had talked for hours.

She doesn’t expect Yves voice to be hushed, hoarse as if words were scraping their way out of . It was obvious she had been crying when she called.

“Can you meet me at the back of your restaurant? I-I’m sorry to be a bother, It’s a weekday. You’re probably busy.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Chuu quickly reassures her.

“I’m glad you called. I’m here for you, Yves. Just text me when you get here.”

She stands out in the cold, snowflakes gathering in her red cloak, patiently waiting just as she had always been back in high school. She sees her car and is about to give her a bright smile but then Yves steps out of a car, eyes red-rimmed and arms already open for a hug which Chuu gladly gives.

“What’s wrong?”

Yves is silent and just buries her face in Chuu’s cloak, finding comfort in her familiar scent. Chuu tentatively hugs her even tighter and Yves cries harder.

Her lungs feel frozen from standing outside, but there is that warmth in her chest.


Chuu dials a number.

“Hello?” a familiar voice answers.

“Hello, Vivi unnie. I have a favor to ask. It’s about Yves…”

They talk for a few minutes. Every now and then, she steps out of the kitchen to see Yves sitting by the corner of her restaurant. She is now wrapped in Chuu’s cloak while sipping hot chocolate. Her eyes are still red from all the crying, but she looks relatively better. 

“Chuu?”

She snaps out of it and focuses back to the pink-haired girl on the phone.

“Yes, unnie?”

“I’ll be there.”

She’s so glad that she sighs in relief when Vivi agrees to her request. Then again, the pink-haired woman always had a soft spot for Yves.

Chuu takes a long look at Yves again who is now leaning against the wall, her eyelids fluttering then she looks at the garbage can with a bouquet of red roses haphazardly thrown in. She stares down at her phone again before deciding to dial another number.

For some reason, standing in front of this wooden door makes Chuu nervous. She realizes that the cause is standing behind the apartment door, and she steels herself to muster up all the courage she has in her body to face her.

“What do you want?”

Chuu looks at Olivia, sympathy blooming. Olivia had always been pale, but her face held a sickly kind of pallor instead of a glow. There were dark shadows under her eyes. Her lips were red, not from rouge but from where the other had bitten them until they were cracked and bleeding.

She looks exhausted.

“It’s about her, isn’t it? It’s always about her.”

Olivia’s dark eyes flit towards the ground; Chuu follows her gazes and sees withered rose petals. They’re red like the ones in the bouquet Yves had carelessly thrown out. 

“Yes. It’s about Yves…”

Olivia scoffs lightly at the confirmation of her previous words and opens the door, motioning for Chuu to go in. Chuu follows her, not taking her eyes off the petals scattered on the floor. 

“Aren't you ever going to be tired of playing her knight in shining armor?" Olivia asks.

“That's you though,” she responds lifting her gaze, so they are eye-to-eye.

The other shakes her head. 

“No, I'm the charming prince who's actually the dragon in disguise. Besides, I’m not her prince. I-I don’t even know if I’m anything to her now.”

Silence looms over them.

“I know I don't deserve her. I know, Chuu. But...I’m selfish,” she trails off, a faraway look in her gaze. “That's the thing about humans right? We are greedy, selfish. We take all the good things and keep them hidden somewhere safe because they are precious to us, thinking that we could always take it out when we need it the most. Then, when we open the chest, there's nothing left. Nothing but rotten pieces of what used to be beautiful. I know I don’t deserve her. I know I hindered her. Yves… she’s beautiful, but she could still be so much more.”

Chuu keeps silent, listening intently.

Tears are starting to fall from Olivia’s eyes. “Is it so bad to just want to keep Yves in my life? To just have one good thing not taken away from me? I need her.”

“You're right about one thing, though,” Chuu says gravely. “You have to take care of her, Olivia. You’ve been hurting her. You make her smile the brightest, you know, yet you also make her cry. You have the power to make her happiest person but also to crush her heart into pieces.” 

“Isn’t that how love works?” she asks dully.

“No. Love? Love is cherishing, protecting. Love is putting her needs above yours. What you think it is... it’s just pure manipulation. Stop it.”

She lets the truth of those words sink in for a moment before speaking up again. 

“I won't hesitate to step in again, so take care of her, Olivia,” the younger watches as Chuu stands up from her seat. Chuu pauses by the door and turns to Olivia’s direction.

“And take care of yourself too,” she calls out before walking out the door.

It is late at night, and Olivia finds herself at the apartment rooftop. There is something about looking down on the city below her, wind blowing through her hair that gives her a sense of peace for an ephemeral moment. That quiet moment is soon broken when she hears footsteps behind her. She turns her head to view the one approaching. 

It’s Heejin bathed in a soft wash of white light walking towards her. Their eyes meet. 

“Hyejoo.” 

Even being called that name, sends a pang of grief jolting in her chest. Only two people called her that, and now, she is not even sure if she would be able to hear Yves’ voice again. 

“Heejin, you’re here.” 

“Well, you did call me. I couldn’t just leave you alone.” 

“You’re so sentimental.” 

“Especially for you…” 

They fall silent for a while, basking in the familiarity of the other’s presence while gazing down the city still thrumming with life despite the late hour. 

“Why here?” Heejin asks. “Out of all the places we could meet.” 

“It’s nice here. The view of the city is amazing.” 

“How many storeys is this building again? And we’re at the very top.” 

“Well, I’m not afraid of heights,” Olivia dismisses. 

“How about falling?” 

“What about falling?” 

“Aren’t you afraid of falling?” Heejin asks softly. 

Olivia doesn’t respond, brows furrowing. 

“You used to be so careful, you know,” she says fondly, tone reminiscent as she gazes at the city lights. 

“You used to be so painfully shy. You were usually quiet, but when you talked you were so passionate and bright-eyed about things you loved. That’s what I first liked about you, that spark you have, you know. Then we reached high school, we met so many new people, and you were so guarded as if you were holding your breath. You were so careful about everything. Your reputation, your relationships, even your possessions. Remember when you cried on my shoulder when you broke your favorite cup?” 

Heejin sighs. 

“Hyejoo, you used to care so much. You would second guess the things you said and question your actions. But then,” her voice saddens. “Something changed. You changed. You became so careless. You who was so wary about what you said or did became unafraid of breaking things. It was hard to watch. My best friend being consumed by that spark inside her. A candle burning itself out…” 

A tear makes its trail on Heejin’s pale face. 

Olivia stays silent, watching the cars zoom by down in the streets. 

She’s right. 

“I’m sorry,” Olivia offers as if that phrase could rectify what she’s done. 

“Yves left me,” she confides after a beat of silence. 

Olivia is so tired. Heejin is right. She’s been burning herself out. A candle left out in the open burning everything near it and being consumed by its own flame. 

“She let me go, and I-I just don’t know what to do anymore. I know. I know it’s my fault. I guess, I ruin everything,” she chokes out, stifling a sob. The pain of losing Yves was still so fresh, and it felt like her heart was bleeding anew just mentioning it. It feels cathartic to talk about it. The emotions she had bottled up now spilling out. 

Heejin draws her into a hug, and she buries her face on that shoulder. 

“Sorry,” she says again even if it can’t fix anything. The tears can’t seem to stop. 

“I know I should let her go too. She deserves to be happy.” 

“You deserve to be happy too, Hyejoo.” 

Olivia just cries.

“Hyejoo.” 

Olivia closes her eyes for a moment and basks in the sound of her name coming out of her beloved’s lips. She has missed this. 

“You’re beautiful.” 

Olivia’s lips quirk at the compliment. She hadn’t been able to sleep since the anniversary of their love became the same date Yves had rushed out of their apartment, out of her life. She knows she looks horrible, shadows under her eyes dark and pronounced on her pale face. 

"I know the truth. You don't need to lie," she chides with a very soft smile on her face. It was so tender it made Yves ache. It hurt to see that look directed at her now. 

"I wish I was,” Yves says softly to herself. She turns her head to gaze out at the window. The sunlight was casting the city in its orange glow, rays on its horizons. 

But Olivia hears her. 

With that sad smile still playing on Olivia’s lips, she reaches across the table to grab Yves’ hands. Yves looks up, startled. Soft sunlight is streaming through the window and bathing Olivia in its glow, banishing the shadows from her face and making her look ethereal. She is the most beautiful woman ever, and Yves could cry seeing her bright beauty. She could have been the sun herself. 

And wasn’t that true? Olivia has been the sun in Yves’ world. For so long, her life had revolved around Olivia. She had been the cause of her joy, her sorrow, her delight, her pain… Olivia had been her sun, and Yves had gotten too close and let herself be consumed by her intensity. 

Time seems to still. 

They’re both staring at each other, watching emotions and thoughts flit in the other’s eyes. Olivia seems to see something in her that even Yves herself doesn’t know yet. 

She watches as a tear drips down Olivia’s face. 

"I'm so sorry.” 

Olivia barely manages to force the words out. Sobs are tearing out of her chest, making her whole body tremble. 

Then the tears burning behind Yves’ eyelids escape too. And she holds Olivia’s hand even tighter, not wanting to let go.

There is something different about Olivia. She is lovely. There was a lightness and ease in the way she held herself that Yves hadn’t seen even in the peak of youth. Perhaps, it was because the shadows had almost gone completely, her eyes brighter. It was like seeing the sun after being in the dark. 

This Olivia was completely different from the dark and brooding one she had met two years ago. 

Two years. 

Time passes so quickly. Fragments of memories, fleeting images of the past play out vividly when she closes her minds. Two years ago, Yves could not even imagine life without having Olivia in it. 

But, she had changed too. 

She felt like someone new. It’s strange. She is still Yves, but living alone, traveling and being independent had changed her and brought out parts of her she hadn’t known herself. Olivia looks happier, more content, and Yves is as well. 

“Olivia,” she calls out softly. 

Olivia looks up from her phone and gazes at her. She has a soft smile on her face, standing up to draw Yves into a tight hug. They wrap their arms around each other for a moment, relishing in that comforting familiarity they still have. 

Olivia playfully twirls Yves when they part the embrace, making the other laugh. 

“You look beautiful as ever,” she compliments, sincerity in her voice. “It’s hard to believe I haven’t seen you in two years. How was Hong Kong?” 

Yves smiles at this. 

“Hong Kong was lovely and you,” Yves grins, “you look better, too.” 

Pink tinges Olivia’s cheeks. 

“Yeah. Well, rehab has been good to me,” she states without a hint of shame. “Heejin helps me a lot too. I have an amazing support system.” 

“That’s great. It’s what you deserve.” 

“Thanks. So, ah, have you been seeing anyone while you were away?” 

Yves just laughs. 

She does not regret the time she had spent with Olivia either, though. For a long time, they had been happy. Yves thought they had been perfect, yet she doesn’t regret leaving. She could see clearly it had done them a world of good. Those feelings of love and attachment no longer fill her heart instead all she feels towards Olivia is a sense of fondness and familiarity. 

“Right,” Olivia chuckles lightly, “you still have a one-track mind. Well, if you would date anyone, you deserve her, and she deserves you. You deserve to have someone to make you happy.” 

Olivia looks up at her earnestly. 

She bites her lip and takes a sip of orange juice on the table. The image of a bright smile and wide eyes flash in her mind’s eye. But she looks at the girl seated in front of her. 

“Tell me everything.”

“I’m home!” Olivia says in the silence of the apartment. 

“How was lunch?” a voice calls out from the living room. 

She pads towards the direction of it and flops on the loveseat. 

“It was great. Yves looks better. She’s glowing with… I can’t explain,” she trails off. 

“Freedom from a manipulative ex,” Heejin quips. 

Olivia rolls her eyes and throws a pillow. Heejin easily catches it. 

“Rude.” 

“Yeah but it’s true.” 

Olivia is quiet for a moment before answering. 

“I'm just happy she's happy.” 

“And you?” Heejin asks seriously, mischief in her eyes replaced by concern. 

“Are you happy?” 

“I'm just happy with myself, and that I have someone else to go home to now. I’m not alone.” 

There’s a grateful smile on her face. 

“Thanks for being my best friend, Heejin.” 

Heejin returns the smile. 

“Anytime, loser.” 
 

“Thanks for having us, Chuu,” Kim exclaims before munching on another piece of pork belly. 

“Yes, the food is amazing,” Hyunjin compliments. 

“You cooked all the food, right?” 

Chuu nods. 

“Nothing but the best for you guys. You’re always welcome here.” 

“Chuu unnie is the sweetest!” exclaims Yeojin. 

Chuu smiles sweetly, wide eyes peeking under curled bangs. 

“Well, it does help that you’re all paying,” she jokes. 

“What? I think I forgot my wallet,” Jinsoul panics, hurriedly emptying out the contents of her purse on her lap. 

“It’s probably in your pocket, unnie,” Choerry reminds, not even looking up from her meal. 

“Oh, thanks, Yerim!” 

Chuu finds herself smiling. The comfortable atmosphere, the easy banter. She had missed it. She’s glad the high school reunion had reconnected them. It was comforting. 

“Oh, have you heard? Yves is back from her stay in Hong Kong…” 

And just like that, the smile on her face fades away. 

Her eyes flit to the end of the table. Vivi was the one who said the news. Chuu stares down at her lap. The good mood dissipated, replaced by disappointed? Sadness? 

Did I expect that Yves would tell me? We haven’t even talked since the break-up with Olivia. 

It had been hard to not be selfish, to let Yves leave for another country, away from her again. But, that would be hypocritical of her if she had begged the woman she loved to stay when the places familiar to both of them would remind her of happy memories and her own broken heart. She had even asked Olivia to let Yves go, and Chuu had done the same. 

She could only hope that the time away had done Yves a world of good. 

It’s what she deserves, after all. 

Chuu notices that the chatters had quieted, and the atmosphere had dropped. They were looking at her with something akin to pity. 

“What’s wrong? Did I undercook something?” 

The joke, and the smile on her face feel strained, forced out. 

“Chuu…” Gowon trails off. 

Of course, everyone knew she was still hung over her love for Yves. She hadn’t been subtle about it since high school and even now. 

“It’s fine. She needed a lot of time for herself after breaking up with Olivia. I even suggested it to her, you know.” 

Choerry, like the angel she is, breaks the awkward silence after that statement. 

“Ohh, it’s getting late. How is everyone going home?” 

The chatter rises to normal volume again. Chuu wants to sigh with relief. 

“It’s almost closing time. Pack up everyone.”

They had left with the promises to contact each other and visit her restaurant again. Chuu greets her workers as they leave one by one. She looks around her small restaurant and sighs in contentment. It has been a good night. 

It would have even been better if Yves had come. 

Chuu lets out a sigh, eyes downcast. 

She misses her. 

Two years had passed, but her feelings remain the same. It could have been yesterday when she fell for Yves with the emotions she still harboured towards her. 

She wonders how she’s doing. In that span of two years, has she been healing? Has she been enjoying herself, exploring places and forging new memories? Chuu thinks about how wistful Yves’ smile had been when she talked about wanting to go to another country and just have something new in her life. Had it been the right choice to contact Vivi that day and let her get in touch with Yves so she could move to Hong Kong safely? That decision is still a heavy weight on her chest. 

It’s frustrating how she doesn’t know anything. She had tried to contact Yves, but she had changed numbers. Her texts had remained unsent. Even her social media accounts had been either deleted or inactive. It hurts not knowing what was going on in the life of someone you had been so close with. 

Chuu has a lot of questions. 

And the most important one— is Yves happy? That’s all she could want for the woman she still loved. Had she enjoyed meeting all the new people there? Maybe, she had even found someone new in her life to replace the emptiness from leaving Olivia. Chuu’s heart clenches just thinking about it. 

I just want Yves to be happy even if I'm not in her life...

Chuu is mindlessly clearing up the dishes that littered the table when the bell of the door tinkles. She doesn’t bother looking up. 

“Sorry, we’re closed for the night.” 

“I’m sorry… am I too late?” 

She’s all too familiar with that sweet voice. It triggers that pang her in chest.  Everything about her is suddenly frozen except for her rapidly beating heart. She carefully looks towards the direction of the speaker. 

Yves is right in front of her, beautiful and right there. 

“Yves.” 

She doesn’t know how she manages to not drop the plates and place them on a corner of the table while ushering Yves to sit. 

She takes the seat across Yves, and oh god she’s staring at Chuu with that lovely small smile that had made Chuu grow a crush on her back in high school. Her heart is not ready for this. 

Chuu clears to get rid of the tension. 

“How have you been, ah, since…?” her question trails off in the air. 

“Since what? Breaking up with Olivia and suddenly leaving the country?” 

Chuu nods, taken aback by her blunt statement and not really knowing how to respond. Yves purses her lips, and Chuu’s eyes are busy darting around the small area, looking at anywhere except the woman in front of her. It’s like there’s a drum beating inside her chest. 

Yves grabs her hand. She’s startled at the action and leans over. She stares up at Yves with wide eyes. Emotions were swirling around in those dark eyes. Sadness, regret and something else Chuu could not decipher. 

Yves smiles sadly. 

“I-I needed time. I spent so much time trying to clear my head and just process what happened. It was hard, living alone and trying not to break down. It was painful being alone when I was so used to having someone by my side and who I could depend on. I cried a lot. I honestly still do.” 

Chuu forgets about the awkwardness she feels at the moment and places her hand atop Yves’. A sad Yves has always been her weakness. Yves stares at their joined hands and smiles genuinely. 

Chuu is glad she could make the other smile with such a simple gesture. She never wants to see that sad smile on Yves’ face ever again. 

“When I did, I would always pick up my phone, and there was only one name I would think of. Only one person who I wanted to talk to but never did.” 

Chuu’s heart clenches for a completely different reason than earlier. 

“Who? Olivia?” 

Yves shakes her head and slowly entwines their fingers together. Chuu is surprised at how natural it feels as if they had been doing this all their lives. She unconsciously holds her breath at the bold action. Her heart is pounding, so hopeful yet so afraid. 

“Yours, Chuu,” Yves stares straight into her eyes and ah, Chuu finally realizes the emotion lingering there. She probably is mirroring the same emotion through her own. 

“It’s always been you.” 

Time seems to still, and her breath catches in . 

Yves smiles at her sadly this time, eyes downcast. 

“I’m sorry for not keeping in contact with you, Chuu.” 

“What-I,” she stutters, not daring to hope what her heart thought that meant. 

“You’ve always been there for me. You’ve always been my shoulder to cry on. You’ve always been by my side. I thought what I had with Olivia was love, but I did a lot of thinking while I was away, and I realized maybe too late that I’ve experienced love so much more with you than I ever did with her.” 

Yves stands up and due to their entwined fingers, Chuu follows. They are standing so close to each other. So close she could smell Yves’ scent, could almost feel her warm breath washing on her face. It’s dizzying, but oddly, it calms her pounding heart. 

“I'm sorry for not noticing all this time. I'm sorry I hurt you again and again without even realizing. You’ve given me so much. I know I don’t deserve it—” Yves takes one brave step closer to her, the grip on her hand tightens. 

“But if you would let me, I will love you more than you love me. I know I'm how many years late, but I will start now. I won't stop loving you, Chuu.” 

Yves’ voice cracks. 

“Please give me a chance.” 

Chuu’s tear-filled eyes stares back at Yves’ watery ones. 


Olivia’s eyes had been bright with unshed tears, a beaming smile on her face. 

“Chuu, I’m so happy! Olivia confessed. She likes me. We’re together now!” 

Those words echo in Chuu’s mind and leave behind an empty feeling in her chest. 

Chuu couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning. She’s on her side and facing Yves where she was sleeping on the bed beside her own. That would likely change soon, however. She dreads the inevitable when she would have to switch beds with Olivia, so the two lovers could be closer to each to other. The room resounds with soft snores and breathing. She is the only one left awake. She hopes that it turns out to be an unfounded fear, that sleeping arrangements would remain the same. It’s selfish, but she doesn’t want to be left bereft of Yves’ comforting presence near her at times like this when her mind was racing miles. 

“Yves, I still love you. You don’t have to love me back. I promise I’ll protect you no matter what. And as long as you’re happy, I’ll try to be happy, too,” Chuu whispers her vow in the quiet of the room. 

Yves doesn’t stir. There’s a smile on her face, though. She must be having sweet dreams. Chuu is glad. She rolls on the bed, facing the wall this time and doesn’t sleep even when the sun’s rays peek through the gap in the curtains. 

The tears don’t stop. They leave trails on Chuu’s face, and her nose must be red. She must look ridiculous. She always had been an ugly crier. Yves is crying too. It’s so unfair how she still looks so beautiful with tears streaming down her face and her features scrunched up. 

“Yves,” Chuu starts. 

Yves is nervous. Chuu can feel it since she was always been attuned to her feelings. There is a palpable tension in the air as they stare at each other directly. 

“No. You would be never be too late. Eight years, two weeks. It makes no difference. We can always start now. I don't care about time as long as I have you." 

Chuu thinks of high school. She thinks of when she first laid her eyes on Yves. She thinks of all the times she had seen Yves look at Olivia and she thinks of the times she laid in her bed at night, wishing she had been on the receiving end of Yves’ affection. She has seen Yves cry herself to sleep. She has seen Yves dance in excitement over big or trivial matters. She has seen Yves burning with anger, protecting one of their friends. She has seen Yves looking stunning in her white gown, with her hair and face made up so beautifully. She has seen Yves in nothing but ratty, old shirts and baggy shorts when she had just woken up. She has seen Yves in every aspect, but she still can only think of one word to describe her especially now that she knows she has Yves’ heart in her hands, just like how Yves always had hers. 

Breathtaking. 

A tear falls down Yves’ cheek. Snippets of memories flash through her mind’s eye. She remembers all the times Chuu had always been selfless and caring to her. Olivia had been her sun, bright, intense. But for someone like Yves, perhaps she needs the moon. Someone calm and serene. Someone patient. Someone willing to stay.  Someone whose light could still shine in the dark and guide her. Someone who is consistent, and someone reliable. 

Someone like Chuu. 

Yves closes in. Her warm breath is washing over Chuu’s face. Their foreheads are pressed together. If one of them closed the space a little more, they would be kissing. 

Then Yves smiles. It’s that smile that made Chuu first fall in love back when they were in just high school, and it’s making her fall in love all over again. 

“Then let’s end with forever.”