“One Iced Coffee, Espresso Double Shot for Tabi.” The loud yet pleasant voice of the barista echoed inside the cafe. “Finally, my coffee is here…” I thought to myself.

I haven’t slept last night and taking caffeine at 9 o’clock in the morning is the only way to keep me awake and sane for the rest of the day. I stood up from my seat and walked straight to the counter, as I anticipate the bitterness of my cold beverage. I reached my hand out to grab my venti cup but to my surprise, a hand took my drink without even asking for my permission.

“Hey!” I exclaimed. That was the first word that came out of my mouth caused by shock and disbelief.

I looked up and saw a tall man with striking features that made me forget about the coffee for a second. He owned a pair of chocolate coloured, almond shaped eyes topped with bristly eyebrows. By the looks of it, he looked like those rich kids in a Korean drama. But his dishy features - his concrete jaw and defined cheekbones - made him look like that killer named ‘Vick’ in a Korean TV Series called Iris. His lips were pierced against the straw, sipping my coffee and that sight brought me back to reality.

“Excuse me but, I think you are drinking my coffee,” I said in a monotonous tone with an annoyed expression written all over my face.

He looked at me with a puzzled stare, raising his left brow as his eyes widened. He looked at the name written on the cup and looked at me as he released the straw from his lips. “Are you Tabi?”

“Yes, I am Tabi.” I tried not to stutter as to not give an impression that I was distracted by his deep, baritone voice.

“I am Tabi.” He said, pointing the name written on the cup.

“I am Tabi,” I said and gave him an annoyed glare.

I was surprised when he said his name. I have never met anyone with the same name as mine or was I too focused with one person for the past six years that I have never met anyone new?

“I was named Tabi by my fans.” He smirked, making me so pissed off because it sounded like he is uttering some nonsense lies. I admit, he is handsome, but there’s no way he had fans. Does he think that he’s some kind of a celebrity or something? Well, he could pass as one but, no way.

“I was named Tabi by my mom,” I responded, still annoyed.

“Really?” He said, looking a little surprised in the cutest way possible. His small eyes rounded as his lips formed into a smile, showing his dimples on both sides of his cheeks. His expression looked like he was relieved like he attained freedom after being imprisoned for a long time. “Didn’t you use ‘Tabi’ as your coffee name because you are my fan?”

My jaws dropped in disbelief. “This guy is unbelievable.”

“I don't even know who you are Mister so can you stop assuming things?” I exclaimed and I saw in his expression that he is totally surprised.

“Am I not famous here?” He whispered to himself loudly, enough for me to hear his thoughts. He stared at me from head to foot and then his lips suddenly broke into a smile. “You don’t know me? Really?” I just blinked once and his face was already so close to mine that I can smell his caffeine scented breath. “Fascinating. New Pasadena is a good choice indeed.” He grinned.

I felt goosebumps all over my body when I realized that his face is already about two inches away from mine, giving me a full close up view of his face. I admit, he is indeed striking, but he freaks me out and my instincts told me to push him away from me using the strength that I have.

“You pushed me?” He exclaimed, his eyes widened in disbelief. “How dare you?”

“Why?” I screamed. “Is it a crime to push a creepy coffee thief?”

“Hey, hey, I am not a coffee thief. I told you, this is my coffee because I am Tabi!” He said. The more he insisted that the coffee is his, the more I get pissed. But I tried to keep myself calm the moment I realized that there are some customers in the cafe that are already staring at us, probably judging him or me and our fight over a stupid venti cup of iced coffee. I was about to answer him back when the Barista brought a new cup of iced coffee and placed it on the counter.

“Here’s another Iced Coffee, Espresso Double Shot for Tabi.” The Barista said and broke our war. I slightly calmed down, thankful that my drink is finally served. I rolled my eyes away from ‘Tabi’, grabbed my drink and went back to my seat.

I sighed, trying to forget the incident that happened at the counter as I sat down on my chair and focussed on sipping my iced coffee. “Finally, I’m feeling alive…” I thought to myself as I savoured the bitterness of my iced coffee and felt the caffeine rushing through my veins.

I looked through the glass wall of the coffee shop and saw two lovers passing by, walking hand in hand with their eyes filled with what they call ‘love’. Unconsciously, I smirked. “You’ll break up.” I thought. I smirked again, consciously this time and knowing that I sounded so bitter.

“I wonder how long those kids are seeing each other. One month? One year? Probably six years?”

Six years.

I have spent six years with a guy thinking that we will be together for the rest of our lives. I thought he is the one. I thought he will never leave. I thought he’ll choose me. I thought he will never look at any other girl other than me. I thought he’ll be waiting for me at the end of the aisle. I thought we will create our own family. I thought...

Memories flashed back in my head, making my eyes well up. Six years ago, I am very certain that by now, I am already a married woman and pregnant with my eldest son. I have never imagined that I will be sitting here in a cafe, sipping a cup of iced coffee as a single woman with swollen eyes after crying the entire night over a breakup that happened ten months ago.

Questions started to fill my thoughts. “Why?”

I have already spent ten months asking myself ‘Why?’ and perhaps, I’ll be asking myself that question repeatedly for the next months to come.

“Why did he leave?”

“Why did he choose that over me?”

“Why did he cheat?”

“Why…?

“!” I uttered softly. I have so many questions in my mind that I cannot answer. I bet no one can, except him.

“Should I call him?” I thought. I will never be at peace if I cannot hear answers from him anyway. I picked up my phone and started to key in my password when I realized that I am about to make the biggest mistake of my life.

“Why should I call him?” the other side of my mind that is still half sane brought me back to my senses. It’s been ten months. He might think that I am still the same woman who begged him not to leave after he cheated on me. I shouldn’t contact him first. He already chooses that girl over me. I gave him everything that I have, literally everything. Why should I run after him when he already told me that he doesn’t love me anymore?

“See, I’m not a coffee thief.” I heard a deep, baritone voice from behind making me realize that I am still at the coffee shop. When I looked at the seat in front of me, the owner of the voice was there, staring directly at me, sipping his iced coffee and uttering some nonsense words as if he is trying to start another argument. “I ordered first, you ordered second, so this is mine.” He continued to nag.

“Still not over it?” I said and rolled my eyes.

“Apologize.” He suddenly said, looking so serious with his wrinkled forehead and firm looking eyes.

I sighed in disbelief. That incident was actually a big deal for this guy. That moment, I concluded that he is a handsome man with a creepy and weird attitude and letting him sit at my table isn’t a good idea.

“Okay, fine. I’m sorry.” I said but I actually did not mean it. I just want him to leave. I just wanted to be alone and not to be disturbed by a total stranger.

He looked at me for quite a while before he opened his lips and said “Okay.” as if nothing happened. His serious expression changed into a cheerful one in split seconds. He looked at me with his eyes smiling, making my heart flutter a little bit because he actually looked angelic when he smiled.

“Now, go!” I said before I get too distracted by his face.

“I’m Choi Seung Hyun...” He said as he offered his hand for a handshake. “But you can just call me Tabi Boy.”

I gave him a glare but it seems like he doesn’t care and just continued to smile at me, waiting for his hand to be acknowledged.

“Tabitha Kersley,” I said trying to be as polite as I can and shook his hand.

“That’s why you’re also Tabi.” He said after a few seconds of thinking, looking astonished. “Tabitha....” He nodded repeatedly before he said, “Your name is beautiful.”

I just stared at him, regretting the moment that I told him my name. I am not even sure of how am I supposed to react with his compliment and my mind went mental as soon as he added the sentence, “You also look stunning.” As he looked at me, my cheeks suddenly felt warm.

“What is this guy saying?” I thought to myself.

It’s unusual for me to hear this type of compliments for I am always the silly looking girl in the crowd with my raven black hair, tan skin and a pair of round, faulty eyes that need the aid of a pair of black-framed nerdy glasses. As I looked at him, I started to have this quirky feeling inside me, a feeling that lies between feeling uneasy and feeling good.

He started to become comfortable in his seat, took off his jacket and placed it messily on the table. I raised my brows as I observe him in his newly found ‘comfort zone’, wondering what on earth his reason is for sitting across my seat.

“Tabi Girl, are you from here?” He asked.

I was shocked when he called me ‘Tabi Girl’, but I just smirked at him before I opened my mouth to answer his question with another question. “Why?”

“I’m actually from South Korea...” He said. “... I googled your city and I am so amazed.” He pulled a piece of paper from the pocket of his jeans and read the places written on the list one by one. “I list down all the places that I wanted to see.” He said and started enumerating places that sounds familiar to me.

“First, I want to go to Paxton Museum, you know, the chair museum? Then, I want to visit the Winery on Libertador Avenue. Next, I want to go swimming. I want to go to the East Coast. Then I...”

I cut him off before he could mention another place from his list. “Hire a tour guide..” I said as I stared at him looking so excited just by enumerating the places written in his list.

“I have an idea…” He said and leaned closer to me. “Come with me.” He said, randomly and out of the blue, making me all flustered once again. “This guy has the most random thoughts.”

“Are you out of your mind?” I exclaimed, wondering what made him think that I will actually go with him.

“Hey, this is a YOLO moment right here.” His eyes were passionate and I can tell that he will never stop convincing me until I say ‘yes’. “You know, in my city, people make appointments with my manager just to have lunch with me. This is a ‘once in a lifetime’ offer, I’m telling you Tabi Girl. If you’ll find out who I am, you are going to regret it if you’ll not come with me.”

His confidence pissed me off, making me breathe deeply before I opened my mouth to talk. “If you’re that great, go back to your city and go out with someone who made an appointment with your manager.”

“I can’t do that in Seoul.” He said. “If I do that, I’ll be in the news the next day. My boss wouldn’t like that.”

I’d feel guilty if I laugh with what he said because he looked so sincere with every word that came out from his mouth. “This guy must be delusional or something.” I thought.

“Whatever…” I sipped my coffee and tried to ignore his existence, which eventually became difficult when he grabbed my hand.

“So, are you coming?”

“No!” I exclaimed. There is no way that I will go with this guy. I grabbed my coffee and prepared for an exit when his hand grabbed mine, forcing me to look back at him.

“Tabi Girl… Please?”

I wanted to scream at him right at that very moment but his begging puppy eyes made me hold back.

“I’m not familiar here in New Pasadena. I might be robbed or worse, I might get lost in the streets.”

I let go of a slight laugh as I focused my gaze on Tabi. With his height- probably around five feet and eleven inches- and his body built that was obviously a result of a well-planned workout routine, it’s funny to see him act scared as he mentioned his fear of getting lost or being robbed in the city of New Pasadena.

“Mr Choi right? Listen to me…” I removed my wrist from his tight grip and looked straight into his eyes. “... New Pasadena is a safe city; no one’s going to rob you here. And in case you get lost, go to the Korean Embassy. They’ll help you there.”

I walked away from him and never dared to look back, fearing that his puppy eyes might make me want to accompany him wherever he goes.

“Tabi girl!” I heard him calling me but I did not look back. I opened the glass door of the cafe and found myself in the streets, waiting for the traffic light to turn red.

“Tabi girl!” He called again. “Gosh, this guy doesn’t know when to stop.” Instead of waiting for the traffic light, I decided to walk further. But suddenly, I can hear his footsteps were getting closer.

“Tabi girl!”

“I’m so annoyed right now.” I thought as I paused. I took a deep breath before looking back at him, preparing my angry eyes and my curses.

“Hey, you!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, making him glitch the moment our eyes met as he was only inches away from me the moment I turned around. “I don’t want to go with you. Do you understand?”

He smiled and gazed at me like he figured something out from the way I spoke or from the way I looked, I am not certain. Then, his teasing eyes turned back into those puppy eyes and an unending begging suddenly began. “Tabi girl, come with me.” He whined.

“You are out of your mind.” I give up. I don’t want to deal with this stupidity anymore. I started walking away even though I am one hundred per cent sure that his long legs could follow me immediately.

“Tabi Girl!” His voice was loud, making me feel more determined to run away from him.

“Tabi Girl!” He called again, but this time, his voice seemed to sound far than before.

“Tabi Girl!” He sounded even further than before, making me curious about what happened to him.

“Tabi Girl!” This time I sensed fear in his voice. I felt guilty at some point, making me decide to turn around and look back and to my surprise, I saw him struggling as a police officer grabbed him. His face looked helpless and worried and I have no other choice but to rescue him.

I ran back to Tabi to ease my guilty conscience. “Excuse me, Sir!” I screamed as I tried to stop the police officer from taking him away. I was focused on Tabi that I did not realize that the police officer was already staring at me.

“Tabi?”

A familiar voice called my name. It’s the voice that I have heard for the past six years. The voice that sings for me through the phone before I go to sleep, the voice that I have been longing to hear ever since that cold rainy night when he asked me to let him go. I know it’s him, I couldn’t be wrong.

I looked at the direction where the voice came from. My heart skipped a thousand beats when I saw him standing in front of me. It’s been ten months since I last saw him. He’s thinner than before making his features more defined than it used to.

“Jake…” I whispered softly. It was unexpected to see him in this situation. I was flustered, uncertain of how am I supposed to react or what should I say.

“Do you know this guy?” He asked. “I saw him running after you while you’re walking away. I thought he is a stalker.”

“Stalker?” Tabi exclaimed. “You know what in my city; I am the one who’s being stalked. This is a misunderstanding. I have...”

“He’s my boyfriend,” I said, stopping Tabi from his nonsense spur. I grabbed Tabi’s hand and Jake freed him the moment I started to act all concerned with the situation that Tabi got into. I do not know where I took the courage to claim a stranger as my boyfriend in front of my ex-boyfriend. “I’ll just apologize after.” I thought to myself and prayed that he will just play along with the sudden plot that I have thought.

“We were just fighting. I’m sorry if I caused a scene.”

“Boyfriend?” Jake looked surprised. I placed my arms around Tabi’s and tried to act like a sweet girlfriend. “Do you think I won’t get a boyfriend after you ditched me with some girl?” I thought as he continued to talk.

“That’s great news,” Jake said. “I thought you’re not yet okay after…” He paused. He might have found it awkward to continue his sentence when my ‘boyfriend’ is actually standing right next to me.

“Why? Did my relationship now make you feel less guilty after cheating on me?”

“I’m happy now.” I tried to smile as sincere as possible. Right at that moment, I realized that I am not yet okay. I’m furious, angry as a wild boar in a stampede. His face is just making me feel so irritable that I wish I should have slapped him the moment I realized it was him.

I felt Tabi placed his arm on my shoulder and suddenly, I felt thankful, even more, uplifted with his gesture.

“Baby, we should stop fighting now…” Tabi said. I felt uneasy with the way he called me ‘baby’ but I just tried to go along with Tabi. “...This officer just thought that I’m a stalker. Do you like your baby to be seen as a stalker?” He looked at me with his puppy eyes and continued his baby talk. “We’re good now right? Right baby?”

“Yes, baby…” I said, patting Tabi’s cheeks as I smiled at him. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay baby,"  Tabi said as he intertwined his hands with mine. "Shall we go now?” I was surprised by his sudden move for I did not see it coming. I almost tried to take my hand when I realized that Jake was still looking at us.

“Yes babe, let’s go…” I responded to Tabi as I smiled at him. “Jake, thanks but we have to go now.”

Jake looked at me with his sparkly light brown eyes. I missed those eyes. Those eyes used to look at me with love but now his eyes looked at me with a different expression. Is it guilt because of what he did or relief that I was able to get over him? I cannot tell.

“Enjoy your date,” Jake said and he eventually walked straight to his patrol car and left.

As I look at him drive away, the anger that I felt earlier suddenly turned into pain. Just like the pain that I tried to forget ten months ago. My heart hurts so badly. I looked at his patrol car passed in front of me and my mind started to go crazy. I wanted to run after him. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to be with him again. I want everything to go back the way it used to be.

I prepared myself to run after him before I start regretting it. But then, Tabi’s face popped in front of me, making me realize that I told Jake that he is my boyfriend.

“Is that him?” Tabi asked with his eyes filled with curiosity.

“What?” I looked away from his judgemental stare to avoid any confrontations.

“Is he the reason why you’re releasing such black aura?” He asked. “Is he your ex-boyfriend?”

“None of your business.” I rolled my eyes and walked away from Tabi. I felt embarrassed. I was contemplating if I should apologize now or should I just pretend like nothing happened or should I just run away.

“Hey, why are you keeping secrets from your boyfriend?” He said in a teasing tone.

My pale face started to turn red when I saw his face in a very close proximity. I couldn’t believe him.

“Baby…” Tabi’s teasing face annoyed me but it seems like he doesn’t want to stop. “...Tabi Baby.”

“Can you stop calling me names?” I looked at him angrily but he just continued to tease me.

“You owe me, Tabi Baby.” He said. “If I did not play along with your story, it will be embarrassing for you right?”

He’s got a point though. My pride wouldn’t let me face Jake without anyone beside me. I don’t want him to think that I am not yet over him. I don’t want to look like the loser who cannot forget her ex-boyfriend who cheated on her. But at the same time, I regretted the moment I introduced Tabi as my boyfriend. If he finds out that I lied, I’ll be more pathetic than I am right now.

“I really don’t understand girls. Why do you always think that claiming someone as your boyfriend is the best revenge for your ex’s?”

I ignored Tabi and walked away and just like what he always does, he followed me and continued to nag. “You know what, let me give you an advice since I think I’m older than you. Pride won’t let you go anywhere. You should just accept the fact that your relationship is done and just let it go.”

“Shut up. You don’t know anything.” I uttered softly, uncertain if he heard me but I guess not because he continued talking, spurting insensitive words that makes me want to punch him so bad.

“I know breaking up is difficult…” He continued. “... but you cannot end the pain if you cannot accept the reality that you are no longer together. The more you hope that you’ll eventually be back together and the more you imagine that you’ll be back together, you’ll feel an even greater pain. I’m not even sure if he bought that ‘He’s my boyfriend’ drama earlier because look at you, from head to foot, everything about you right now screams ‘I’ve been dumped’.

“You’re beautiful. But your beauty is hidden behind those swollen eyes and messy hair. When I held your hand earlier, it felt so rough that I thought you are a construction worker. And look at the way you dress…” He said and pointed out my black shirt and black jeans paired with black sneakers. “... are you the Grim Reaper?”

I paused for a while and glared at Tabi. I am already feeling bad and the least that he can do is to stop insulting me and invalidating my feelings. I don’t even know this person, why is he acting like he knew my whole story?

My tears voluntarily fell from my eyes without even realizing it. Probably because he pointed out the things that I have missed out while I was so busy nursing the wounds of my heart. For the past ten months, I was breathing, but I am not living. My thoughts were filled with the idea that Jake will be back. I was hoping so hard that he will be back but the truth is, he will never be back. My hopes are actually the main reason why I cannot stop crying every single night.

I know there’s no point in hoping. I know my thoughts are being crazy most of the time. I know my emotions are overpowering my sanity. But that is not enough reason for him to invalidate my feelings.

“Stop acting like you know my pain,” I said in a slightly cracked voice as tears continued to fall from my eyes. Tabi looked flustered, perhaps guilty the moment he saw my already swollen eyes swell more. “You have no idea what I’ve been through.”

“Right, I do not know what you’ve been through. But even if I’ll figure out what happened, even if I’ll know even just half of the pain that you’re going through, will that change anything?” His deep voice made every single word that came out of his mouth more meaningful and more painful. “If you think he is still worth it, go after him.” He said.

“What?” I was puzzled, but I actually wanted to take his suggestion. I wanted to chase him. I wanted to run back into Jake’s arms like the way I used to hold him tight around my arms. But, is it still worth it? If I go after him and run into his arms, will he do the same?

“If you are confident that he will take you back, go and run after him.”

I wanted to take my first step, but it seems like my brain doesn’t want me to move, making me stuck in the same exact place where Tabi insulted me. Probably because I know, deep in my heart that he will never take me back. All of my ‘why’s’ have already been answered, I am just denying it, trying to cover it up with the hopes that fogged my sane thoughts. Jake will never hug me tight the way he used to because he is already holding on to someone else. I cannot accept the fact that I am just the stupid loser who’s been cheated on and was left alone.

“See, you know you can’t chase him anymore…” Tabi said when he noticed that I just remained standing in front of him, crying like a child who doesn’t know what to do. “Tabi Girl, all breakups are the same.” He said and wiped my tears using his hand. “I know it hurts and healing takes time. But cheer up baby, you’re not alone.”

I cried harder the moment I felt Tabi hugged me. He felt warm, like a friend that I have known for a long time. I have been denying everything for a long time when in fact, everything was already laid down to me from the very beginning. Jake doesn’t love me anymore.

“You know what you can do right now?” Tabi said as he freed me from his embrace and looked at me in the eyes. “Come with me.” He said in a calm voice filled with sincerity. His eyes looked genuine and at that moment, I don't want to reject his offer anymore.

“Tabi girl, trust me.” He said as he smiled. “Let’s just forget the world for once, spend a day with a total stranger and get crazy.” He grabbed my hand and held it tightly but gentle enough for me to feel the warmth of his hands.

“Maybe he’s right.” I thought. “Maybe distracting myself is not a bad idea. Maybe, it’s for the best.”

I am not sure which part of his sentence convinced me but I suddenly found myself calming down. I’m not the spontaneous type. I plan everything before I start doing something, just like a typical Capricorn. But this time, I’ll make an exemption.

At that moment, I concluded that he is a handsome man with a creepy and weird attitude but warm and sensible at the same time. I am sure that this spontaneous trip with him is something that I am not going to tell my future children because this is not how it should be. But for now, I need a distraction, perhaps a new type of experience that I will keep in my memory.

And just like that, the tall man that I met at the cafe who got the same name as mine and who ordered the same drink that I did, grabbed my hand and led the way to nowhere.