"But love was strange. It distorted your perspective and played havoc with your logic."

...

You lift your head up from the pillow in a daze when your movie is interrupted by the sound of the doorbell’s piercing cry. When you crane your neck to check the clock on the wall, you’re shocked to find that it reads 2:50 am.

You groan and stretch your body out, contemplating if you should answer the door or not. You doesn’t have a single clue as to who it could be. Definitely not Wheein and Hyejin — they've gone to visit Jeonju until the afternoon tomorrow. So who the hell would be ringing the doorbell at this ungodly hour?

When it rings loudly for the second time, you force yourself off the bed, wincing at the stiffness born as a result of lying down for three hours straight. 

“Coming!” You shout, slipping into slippers and frowning as it rings impatiently for a third time. 

“Patience is a key virtue to life,” You mutter under your breath as you come out into the dark living room. “especially at this hour.”

You yank the door open as it’s on it’s fifth ring, not bothering to hide the scowl of irritation on your face. 

“What-” 

Your heart drops in your chest and you nearly fall over as a body slumps against you. A scream nearly erupts out of you, but when a familiar perfume hits your nose you clamp your mouth shut just in time. 

“...Unnie?” You say in bewilderment just as the strong stench of alcohol immediately accompanies your realization. You try to gently push the body off to take a look at their features, and a sigh of relief escapes when it’s definitely her. 

You haven’t seen her in person since her birthday — which was nearly six months ago. And there’s this sudden awkwardness that comes creeping in, like you've forgotten how to act around her. It makes you feel as if you need to squirm in discomfort and distance yourself from the girl. It’s a foreign feeling that’s never existed between the two of you before and you hate that your relationship has come to this.

“What are you-” 

You trail off when you realize Yongsun’s body is shaking with silent sobs and you can feel fat droplets of tears hitting your skin as the brunette burrows into your neck. 

You feel your stomach twist as you imagine horrible scenario after horrible scenario inside your head. 

“...Yongsun-unnie,” You say gently, trying to pry her off in order to look at the older girl. 

But she only shakes her head, pushing you out of the doorway and back into the apartment. You yelp and stumble backwards, pushed on by Yongsun. You trip over your feet, but thankfully the ground is carpeted and it softens the fall.

And now you’re on the ground, wincing at the dull pain. You open your mouth to ask Yongsun if she's alright, but the words get caught in your throat at how close her face is to yours. Her hands are splayed out on the ground beside your hips and she's nestled right in between your legs. 

You’re looking right into the face of a goddess who is breathtaking even when she’s looking like a mess. It makes your heart stutter painfully and skip a beat or two. Yongsun’s eyes are red and swollen, and you can now see that they are filled to the brim with a kind of heartbreak that threatens to break your own. 

She looks all kinds of broken and damaged and yet — you can't recall seeing anything so beautiful in your life before. So, you try to squirm away, because it’s way too much for you to handle this close but her hand shoots out and latches onto you. 

“Unnie—”

“Byul-ah,” Yongsun speaks for the first time, her voice hoarse and raw as if clawed from the inside out. You really can’t lift your eyes to look up at the girl, so you just jerk your head up and down as a sign for her to continue. 

Yongsun’s grip on you is iron and you give up trying to move away and settle for just squirming around in discomfort. You feel Yongsun’s gaze on you as she doesn’t say anything.

You eventually raise your eyes and look at her with a heavy heart as the tears continue sliding down her cheeks.

“What happened, unnie?” You ask, your voice hoarse when she doesn’t continue after several long moments of silence.

"Byul, why have you been avoiding me since I started seeing Eric?"

"W-What?" You swallow thickly, "I haven't been avoiding you, I've just been—" 

"Is it because you love me?" 

Your breath catches in your throat, and you stare at her. You stare at her instead of saying yourself by confidently saying something back that's dowsed in grease and guaranteed to be hair-raising, but what comes out instead is nothing. 

“...You love me, right?”

In the end, were you still so obvious? Even after distancing yourself and giving yourself away to others left and right to everyone who wasn't Yongsun, is she always the one you will return to?

What a sad, sad fate you're tied to. 

So you slowly lift your head with the false answer — that you desperately hoped would become true one day — poised on the tip of your tongue, to look into a pair of eyes that bear your favourite shade of brown. But when she’s looking at you intensely, (so intensely you can't help but wonder if she's sober now), your heart nearly stops beating. 

You quickly avert your gaze and take in a shuddering breath, praying that it’s all some kind of horrible dream. But you smell her distinct perfume mingled with the alcohol and you feel like dying because you’re definitely awake and this is actually happening right now.

“Unnie,” You say quietly after a moment of silence. “...you’re really drunk right now.” 

Her fingers on you dig in almost painfully and you watch as several more tears slide down her cheeks. No matter how beautiful she looks as she’s on your lap right now, you will always prefer it when she’s smiling the smile of a thousand sunny days and giving Him the entire world that you so wished you were enough to receive instead.

“Not drunk enough for this.” She argues in a urgent and distressed tone.

You remain silent, trying to recall if you were in fact too obvious. You only remember always trying so hard not to be. But then again, Wheein, the least observant person in the entire world, had found out so quickly. So, perhaps it was only a matter of time before Yongsun would. 

And amidst the despair that threatens to swallow you whole right now, there's a part of you that wants to know exactly when Yongsun had found out. A part that wants to know if she knows the depth of how much you love her. How it makes up such a big part of who you are, that it's so utterly sad and pathetic whenever you think about it. 

As Yongsun's sweet, intoxicated breath hits your lips, you wonder if it's making you loosen up as well. Because before you know it — before you can even think about stopping yourself — the tightly kept answer unwinds from deep inside and slips out from between your teeth like it's some kind of stellar escape artist.

“...Yes.” You say so quietly, it's just barely audible to your own ears. “I do. I always have.”

Your love for Yongsun has always suffocated you and breathed life back into you. It’s made your heart trip and start pounding at frantic rates that are certain to be the cause of any heart conditions you have later on. It’s caused your stomach to roll over, twist and turn and do all sorts of fancy tricks. It’s the reason for all your tears because you know Yongsun has never, and will never, look at you the way you look at her.  

Which is why you’re lost beyond all words and comprehensible thoughts when Yongsun le