I posted this on AO3 last week and forgot to post it here. My bad! 

Yunho hated this. He hated this with every fiber of his being.

He laughed, not even trying to stop the tears falling from his eyes.

His father smiled weakly. “I want to see you smile everyday, Yunho,” he said. “No matter what.”

Yunho gripped his father’s hand even tighter. “How can I do that?” he asked in response, his voice trembling with every word. “You’re leaving me. You’re leaving me just like mom left us.”

“You know your mother would have stayed with us if she could,” his father defended. “She loved us both so much. It’s not her fault that cancer took her from us.”

Yunho sobbed, placing his free hand over his mouth as he tried to muffle the pathetic sounds emitting from his mouth. He remembered his father constantly telling him not cry about this, but that was one command from his father that Yunho couldn’t obey. His father was dying, there was no way Yunho could just brush off that fact.

“And Yunho,” his father continued. “I miss your mother so much. And now I can finally be with her. She’s the love of my life.”

“But what about me?” Yunho knew he sounded like a selfish child. But losing his mother was hard enough. Not to mention, that when his mother died, Yunho still had his father, and the two of them supported each other during their time of grief.

Who was Yunho supposed to turn to once his father finally died?

“Yunho. You really don’t see how strong you are, do you?”

Yunho bit his lip. With the way he was acting right now, he wasn’t sure about this imaginary strength his father just mentioned.

“I know I don’t have to worry about you,” his father continued. “I can leave peacefully knowing that you’ll be fine.”

Yunho shook his head. “But...I’m not ready for you to go.”

“You know I’ll always be with you, son,” his father said. “You mean so much to me, and I would never abandon you. You have my word.”

Yunho nodded, wiping his tears away.

“On the table,” his father said suddenly. “My watch is there.”

Yunho reached over to the bedside table, grabbing the bronze pocket watch that laid on the table next to a vase of flowers. He opened the latch, revealing the ticking clock.

“My father gave this to me before he passed on, do you remember?”

Yunho nodded. He did remember that day. Yunho was just a child when his grandfather died, and he remembered how shocked he was to watch his father cry so much. His father was practically unconsolable at that time, and Yunho was understanding that pain now more than ever.

“I want you to have it now.”

Yunho closed the watch, holding it tightly in his hand.

“I don’t want you to ever feel alone. I want you to always remember that your mother and I are with you.” His father smiled. “Your grandmother gave that watch to your grandfather when they got married. It never stopped ticking when he had it, and it never stopped ticking when I had it. Isn’t that amazing?”

Yunho nodded.

“I don’t want you to close yourself off,” he continued. “You have someone out there that loves you. And when you find that person, make sure you hold on. Love makes time move forward. Having someone to love is one of the greatest feelings, and I’m upset that I won’t be by your side when it happens. But I know you’ll find that perfect person. And when you do find the one, every second you spend with that person will feel like paradise.” He laughed. “Yunho, you’re so clumsy and lose almost everything. But please, don’t lose this watch, and most importantly, don’t lose the kindness in your heart. That always was your best quality.”

Yunho laughed painfully again. “Dad...I...I love you so much.”

Yunho’s father smiled. “I love you too, Yunho. I love you very much.”

Yunho was there when his father’s heart finally stopped beating.

It was 3 o’clock in the morning when the doctor made the horrid announcement.

His father was dead.

“We’re sorry, Changmin,” the older man said. “The company had to make some cuts. I’m sorry but...we’re going to have to let you go.”

When his boss made the announcement that he was being let go, Changmin was sure he was supposed to cry, feel angry, beg for his job, or maybe even punch a wall.

But Changmin didn’t do any of that. He bowed politely, muttered a word of thanks, and quietly made his leave.

Changmin wasn’t sure why he wasn’t reacting to this news. Getting fired from the job was always a cause of distress, he knew that was a fact.

He walked home, refusing to take the bus today because he needed the walk to clear his head.

I’m coming home early, I guess. My boss let me go.

He hadn’t gotten a reply from his girlfriend yet, but Changmin didn’t think too much of it.

By the time he made it to his apartment, Changmin was tired. That was strange to him, because such a walk usually wasn’t a challenge at all. Maybe this was his body’s subtle way of reacting to the news.

He approached his door and pressed the code onto the keypad.

When Changmin opened the door, it felt as if someone had suddenly punched him in chest.

He couldn’t breathe, his hands were shaking, and he wondered when the room would stop spinning.

“Ch-Changmin,” his girlfriend stammered. Her eyes widened as she rose from the couch in the living room.

Changmin stumbled backwards as he looked at his girlfriend and the man he caught her kissing just a few seconds ago.

Did that really happen?

This wasn’t real. There was no way any of this was real. Changmin and his girlfriend loved each other more than anything. They devoted their whole lives to each other. There was no way she would bring another man into their own apartment and-

Maybe this guy forced himself on her, and Changmin walked in right on time to stop this whole thing from getting worse.

That was the only explanation that made sense.

But no matter how hard Changmin tried, he couldn’t speak. Why was it so hard to speak?

He looked to the man on the couch, still wearing a startled expression on his face.

“Who...who are you?” Changmin finally managed to ask.

“I-” the man began, before pausing and looking to Changmin’s girlfriend.

Changmin noticed that exchange right away, and that small second fed him with more information than he would like to have.

He turned to his girlfriend. “You actually-”

“Changmin, listen to me,” she pleaded, except her words sounded as though she were yelling at him from the end of a tunnel.

“G-Get out,” Changmin commanded.

The girl’s eyes widened, as if she couldn’t believe Changmin said that, and quite frankly, Changmin couldn’t believe it either.

“Changmin,” she tried again.

“SHUT UP!” Changmin yelled, tears falling from his eyes. “Get out! Both of you just get out!”

Obviously startled, the two of them obeyed, making their way out the door. Changmin didn’t even bother to make eye contact with them as they walked past him.

Changmin collapsed onto the floor after hearing the door shut, hugging his knees to his chest. He choked, tears falling from his eyes as he tried to piece together what just happened.

Changmin called his ex-girlfriend a few days later, only so she can pick up all of her stuff. He packed everything himself for two reasons; he was still a gentleman, despite his anger, and he wanted her out of the apartment as soon as possible.

“We were together for six years,” Changmin reminded her as she grabbed the last box of her things. “Wh-why…?”

He put his entire heart and soul into this relationship. It wasn’t fair that she cheated. He at least deserved an explanation.

Instead of explaining herself, she simply shook her head. “I’m sorry,” she muttered, before taking her leave.

“I’m sorry, sir,” the man said. “But I really can’t figure out what’s wrong with your watch.”

Yunho sighed. He had taken his watch to four shops already, and none of them could give him any answers.

After his father died, Yunho spent a whole week at home, just crying and handling his grief in every way his father said he shouldn’t.

Yunho didn’t recognize anything around him other than his own sadness. Nothing else mattered to him after his father died. Yunho barely noticed how much time passed before he finally got himself to eat something. There was no way he would notice something as small as a broken watch.

It took him longer than it should have to realize that his father’s watch had stopped ticking, and Yunho cursed his luck, because of course the watch would stop working once it was passed onto him.

Yunho is about to take his leave when in walks a tall man with doe eyes and messy curly hair, carrying a broken clock and a look of shame.

Yunho heads out the door, heading to the last shop on his list.

“I’m sorry, Dad,” Yunho mutters, sitting in front of his dad’s grave. “I...I broke your watch. I don’t know what I did but…”

Yunho sighs. His dad left that watch so Yunho knew he would never be left alone. It wasn’t working. Yunho felt more alone than ever, and he wasn’t sure if it had anything to do with the defective pocket watch.

“Daddy,” Yunho chokes. He hasn’t called his father that since he was a child. “I need you. I really need you.”

Yunho just sat there and cried, tightly holding the pocket watch in his hand.

Changmin has no job, no girlfriend, and no coffee.

He sighs as he realizes how empty his cabinets were.

Money wasn’t an issue at the moment. He had only lost his job a week ago, and Changmin had saved a lot of money while he was working. While Changmin hated how idle his life had become, he also didn’t feel up to looking for a new job for the time being.

His motivation to do something as simple as go to the store was lacking. Obtaining a new job would be an even harder task for him to handle.

He never felt like leaving the apartment much right now. He’d look out the window, seeing people living happy lives, and suddenly he’d feel anxious.

He’d get ready to leave, his hand on the door handle, before he freezes in fear of running into his ex-girlfriend.

He would suddenly have an appetite for a certain restaurant, but would then feel as if he didn’t belong anywhere before deciding to get food delivered instead.

He had only left the apartment once, and that was to fix a clock he had broken in a temper tantrum he had a few days ago. The clock in its broken state was an embarrassing reminder of the fit of rage he had, but he also liked that clock, and didn’t want to throw it away. He suppressed his panic, just for that moment, going to a local shop to get it fixed; he didn’t care how much it cost as long as it got done.

But for some reason, he really wanted to go outside again.

Changmin sighed, pulling out his phone and researching a new travel spot.

Maybe some time outside of the city was exactly what he needed.

Yunho’s car broke down, and he wondered what else in his life was on its way to sudden destruction.

There was a bus stop close by to his apartment, anyway. He didn’t mind taking the bus until he finally motivated himself to get the car fixed.

Old piece of junk.

And as much as Yunho would have loved to use the excuse of car troubles to avoid the necessary tasks he had to do today, he couldn’t procrastinate any longer.

He had to clean out his father’s house.

He also had to settle affairs in regards to the small inn his family owned.

He had been putting it off for a while.

His father was dead, he had to accept that eventually.

But cleaning out the house, filtering out what was to be kept and what he would get rid of, it all seemed so wrong.

Managing the assets pertaining to the inn felt wrong as well.

All of this just felt so wrong.

But he also knew it was necessary. His father had prepared him for this day, and he had to honor that responsibility, no matter how painful it would be.

His parents lived in a small town just outside of the city. It was the most peaceful drive Yunho always got to experience. The scenic views looked like something right out of a romantic movie. The grass was always green, the roads always clear, and the weather was always beautiful. Yunho could never be in a bad mood when observing the scenery.

Yunho sighed as he leaned his head on the window.

He was almost to his destination. While he felt warmth in his heart as he approached his childhood home, he was also dreading his arrival. For the first time he would come home, and no one would be there waiting for him. No one would be there to hug him and welcome him with open arms.

And that made Yunho feel more alone than ever.

Changmin fiddled with his sketchbook as he sat on the bus.

He realized that he wanted to draw something.

Changmin hadn’t picked this sketchbook up in a while, not since he walked in on-

He shuddered at the memory.

He had found a bus that drove to a small town just outside the city. Changmin figured he could spend a few hours here, walking around and drawing the sights that inspired him. He smiled as he looked out the window. He could tell his destination was close as the plethora of buildings turned into grasslands and farms.

It’s all so beautiful

Changmin couldn’t help but smile as he watched the trees whizzing by.

With a sigh, he opened his sketchbook, mindlessly flipping the pages at his old drawings. He couldn’t wait to add something new to these pages.

He stopped as he flipped to the last drawing. His throat constricted as he saw the delicate of his pencil. Her eyes, her lips, her soft hair-

Changmin closed his sketchbook and looked out the window for the rest of the trip.

Yunho felt a weight lifted off his shoulders as he made it back to the bus stop.

As expected, his visit to his old house didn’t go well.

After shedding an unreasonable amount of tears, Yunho carelessly packed most of his father’s belongings away. Without his own vehicle, transporting the stuff he wanted to keep would be a hassle.

He managed to pack some of his own things into an old backpack. His father used to nag Yunho about taking some of his things in the house that “took up space for no reason”.

I finally did it, Dad. Happy now?

Another item Yunho brought with him was his dad’s old camera, hanging the object around his neck for security. The camera was something the older man was so attached to. Yunho’s father was always so sentimental, and this camera helped him save more memories than he could count.

Yunho would never get rid of it.

Yunho realized that he wasn’t composed enough to even begin handling leftover business at the resort, so he decided to once again hold it off and go back home.

The bus arrived, partially blocking the sunlight burning Yunho’s eyes.

He got on the bus as soon as the doors opened, brushing shoulders with someone exiting the vehicle.

Yunho swore he had seen that man before.

“You should come by this town again,” the barista suggested to Changmin as she served his drink and array of pastries.

After a few hours of drawing, Changmin came to a coffee shop he ended up falling in love with. The