The house was quiet, eerily still, not a single person was home, except for me alone up in my room. By now it was already one in the morning and no one had come home yet. I flopped back onto my bed, letting my eyes wander to my ceiling, glowing from the soft moonlight outside of my window. Dad was probably off flying somewhere for another business meeting, mom probably at my Aunt's house again or maybe staying with another male friend as she called them. I could never rely on them to tell me when they would be home again, they barely noticed my presence as it was. Ahh and Taemin he could be in so many places, hanging out with everyone from SHINee at parties, sleeping in SM for the night, in some far off hotel preparing for a concert. He was the one I longed to see the most, the one who came home more than my own parents.

It was silly of me to make up places that oppa may be though.. I knew perfectly well that tonight he had another date with his girlfriend, HanEunJin. I brought my arm up and let it drop over my eyes, trying to block out the image of them together. She was beautiful, and cruel. That were the two things I ever needed to know about her. She took any time that Taemin would have been with me, and pushed him to his limits. In her mind a star like him should stay out late partying, because of her he started drinking, something I never thought he would do so heavily. I hated her, I was jealous of her. I yearned to be in her place. A groan escaped from my mouth as I flipped over onto my stomach and covered my head with a pillow. Why did every night have to be spent thinking about the two of them? What she was doing with him... she didn't even know him! The real him anyways.. she only knew the person she wanted him to be, the person she had formed him to be.

In an instant though all my thoughts cleared away. A loud bang erupted from downstairs, the door hitting against the wall. A cold shiver rippled down my spine, what if it was an intruder? Someone trying to steal our valuables or worst..... All downstairs the sound of banging and clattering kept resounding, I took a chance in all the noise to slowly lift myself out of bed and walk on silent toes towards my door and out into the the near pitch black hallway. Fear started to dissipate, and instead take the form of worry. A low whimper rose up from the ground floor, and the quiet sound of sniffling like that of a small child. No one breaking into a house would cry, or at least no one I knew would. Still cautious I let my feet drop slowly down the steps, and stopped dead, at the sound of glass shattering and an all to familiar voice calling out in pain "Shibal!". All caution was thrown to the wind as I heard oppa's voice, especially since he sounded hurt. At the base of the stairs by the sofa he sat there, curled in a bunch against the sofa, with his hands balled up in fists at his eyes, and a vase shattered on the floor beside him.

My heart started to beat faster as I  neared him and slowly crouched down beside him. "o-oppa? are you.. okay?" that was all i could say, stretching my hand out to touch his shoulder gently. Now that I was close to him, he reeked of alcohol, and I could tell that he was drunk. He didn't reply to my question, just sniffled and let out a small gasp of air. He couldn't be crying... Oppa couldn't be crying? He was always so happy always so smiling, what could hurt him like this? I had to know if he was really crying, I had to know what was wrong, and I knew the only way I could, was to see his face, to look into his eyes, the eyes that had never lied to me my entire existence. Gently I held onto his wrist and pulled his hand from his face, wet streaks went down his face, and seemed to be growing, as tears kept falling more and more. My heart wrenched more as I took a look down at his hand I was holding, blood was draining out of small wounds on his hands, were small shards of glass had lodged themselves.

"Oppa your bleeding!  You have too take better care of yourself." I said worriedly, his hair gently like mom used to do when he was young and hurt. He looked up at me for a moment, and my face turned to an expression of utter shock and anguish at his eyes. They were blurred with a sadness that I have never seen before, especially not in a person like Taemin. The air was near knocked out of me as he pulled me in close to his chest and dug his head into my shoulder. My chest went up and down rapidly with the beat of my heart, and his breathing became heavy from an eruption of silent sobs.

" no one would worry as much as you little sister." He said in a low sob, "kamsamnida" he grabbed onto me tighter, and my stiff form relaxed slightly, and I wrapped my arms around him.

"I love you oppa.." I murmured because I knew with how much alcohol he had drunken he  wouldn't remember any of this, but still... this moment, oppa made me feel important like someone held above the rest. I would have to find out later the reason for his pained tears, because the back of my top started to feel wet.. and I realized that it must have been from the blood on his hands. I didn't want to get out of this embrace, I didn't want to move, to stay here for ever would be perfect but I didn't want him to stay hurt. "Oppa lets get that glass out and bandage you up okay?" I'll always try and protect you oppa, from shedding more tears like this, I'll try my hardest, I promise.