I got out of the bathroom and with just my towel wrapped around my body; I went into my bedroom and ran through my closet for the perfect clothes to wear for work today.  Finally spotting the clothes that fit to my mood that morning, I held it up in front of my body, eyeing it intently on the full length mirror.

“So, what do you think?  Does this suit me?” I asked, turning around to face the man sitting on my bed, smiling sweetly at him.

He gave me his signature smile and nodded to my question.  “You know I love anything that you wear.  You are beautiful.”

I giggled to his answer.  The answer that he always gave me whenever I asked him about my appearance.

“You always gave me that answer,” I playfully acted offended.

He smirked, “Well, it is the truth.  What should I say?  You look ugly?”

I pouted.  Ignoring him, I released the towel around my body and dressed myself for work.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Walking to work with him beside me as always was the most enjoyable scene I love every working day.  20 minutes walk always seemed so fast for me.  I sometimes wished the distance between the office and my house would be a little farther so I could be with him longer before spending time away from him during office hours.

“I see your admirer is already waiting for you.”

His statement brought me back to my senses.  I turned my head towards the entrance of my office.

“I hate it when you do that.  You know that I don’t like him,” I hissed, upset with his words.

From the corner of my eyes, I could see his expression changed.  I made my pace slower.

“Dara, you know about our situation now, right?” he asked, worry and sadness shown on his perfect, handsome face.

I sighed.  “I know.”

He doesn’t need to tell me.  I know the situation well.  I’m sad too.  I wished the situation would be different.  How often I would wish I could turn back time, but there was nothing I could do as a mere human being.

“Dara, look at me.”

I glanced over to him.  I know what he wanted to say.  He had been saying it over and over again for the past 4 months.  And every time I would brace myself and held the tears that always threatened to fall.

“You have to move on.”

The 5 words that I hate the most. 

“You don’t have to tell me about it.  I know what I should be doing.  But…I can’t.  I…I can’t just let you go.”

“I love you.  I want you to move on.”

And I left.  Just like yesterday and the day before and the day before that, I would always leave him before I could hear some more.

~~*~~*~~*~~

“Sandara Park, I love you.”

I stared at the man sitting in front of me.  He’s tall, well-sculpted body, handsome face.  In short, someone that any girl will readily and happily give themselves to.  But not all girls.  Not me.

“I’m sorry.  I can’t.”

“I’ll wait until you’re ready to accept my feelings for you,” he continued saying.  He was determined.

I shook my head.  “You shouldn’t.”

He put his hand on top of mine which I slowly pulled away from until he gripped to it securely.

“I know that it was too soon.  4 months is still too soon.  I know.  But, I’m hoping that you will continue to allow me to court you until you would slowly open up your heart to my feelings.”

I closed my eyes.  My heart was in pain.  I knew what I should do.  But letting go was not easy.  And I don’t feel like I want to do it.  To let go.

I opened my eyes again and face the hopeful and longing expression in front of me and as I was ready to say it, I saw the man I love standing behind him.

“Don’t decline.  Don’t force yourself to stay in this state.  This is not how I want you to be.  Give yourself a break, Dara.  He’s nice and a good man for you.  Try to open up yourself to him.”

I shook my head.  My eyes started to welled up and my love’s figure started to blur.

“Do it for me.  Do it for yourself.  Let go, Dara.  I love you.  Always.”

“Kwon Ji Yong…”I find myself uttered his name.  My lover’s name.

The squeeze in my hand tightened and I felt a warm hand cupped my cheek, wiping my tears that rolled down.

“He would have wanted you to move on, Dara.”

“I know Seunghyun.  I know,” I said softly to the man sitting in front of me, as I glanced at nothing behind him.

“I know,” I repeated it again, more towards myself.  Readying myself to make the first step forward.  The first step to move on after being idle for four months since Kwon Ji Yong’s death.