Lee Joon

The people on the street watching me probably thought that I had gone crazy. Here was a grown man, driving an expensive black sports car, standing in front of a large dumpster holding a big white teddy bear. But that was the predicament that I was in.

This bear meant a lot to me, as unmanly as that sounds. For the last 3 months, it’s been my everything because this was the bear that I had won for Ailee at a carnival, and the one that she had decided to leave at my apartment. Even though it belonged rightfully to her, I just didn’t have the guts to return it to her. I was afraid that if I saw her face, my wall would crumble, and then I would crumble.

I should have known from the moment that I saw her to run. Her mere presence took my breath away, and she was pure, perfect. The fact that I had asked her to call me by my nickname, Joon, after meeting her for just minutes should have been a dead giveaway. I should have left right then and never looked back, but instead, I fell in love.

But this morning, G. O.  had found out about Ailee. I had done everything I could to keep my two worlds separate for so long, but it hadn’t held. One world had the mafia, G. O., and little Mir, and they were the closest thing to family that I will ever have. The other world held just Ailee, and that was enough.

“You’ve been dating some common girl?”  G.O. had yelled, pacing the room. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m not dating her anymore,” I insisted, heart dropping. This couldn’t be good.

“But she knows, doesn’t she?”  A guilty look from me gave it all away. “Joon, you know better than to compromise yourself like that. You’re vulnerable, we’re vulnerable.”

“Hyung, you’re exaggerating,” I muttered, and then told the biggest lie of my life. “Besides, we weren’t even really dating. She was just some girl that I was messing around with, and it was just a little fling. I just need to relieve some stress.”

“Good,” G.O. snapped. “Then you won’t mind if we eliminate her.”

My heart jumped to my throat. “Eli-eliminate?” I choked.

“This girl knows way too much to be around.”

“But…she’s already known for months, and she hasn’t told anymore,” I argued, voice rising.

“She’s a weak link,” G.O. thundered, fists crashing onto the table. “Lee Joon, remember what you are, who you are. If you want to prove that you aren’t in over your head, prove it. Eliminate her.”

Hyung just didn’t understand. He was only about 5 years older than me, and we had grown up together side my side. We were as close and any two people ever get in this business, but he didn’t know how my heart worked.

So the bear had to go. It was time to sever all ties because no matter what, I couldn’t forget what I was  and who I was. I am an assassin. I am a killer. My target is just that…a target, nameless and faceless. I was NOT in over my head.

Or was I? I found myself only curling the bear tighter into my arms. Passerbys skirted around me, shooting me weird looks. Oh what the hell, let them stare. I was having an inner personal crisis here. That bear had become my friend in the past months, and I couldn’t take  just dumping him in with the leftover pizza toppings from the nearby pizzeria.

It’s okay, I decided, turning back for my car. This bear is just a bear now, no meanings, no representations. It’s such a waste to throw a way. Maybe I’ll donate it to a children’s toy drive when I get the chance.

But deep in my heart, I knew that I would make it so that that chance never came.    

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8:14 A.M. Thursday afternoon. I was in position. I was perched on the top of a building adjacent to Ailee’s work place. The place was deserted, and I knew that in less than 15 minutes, she would be arriving at work.

This autumn was unlike the one last year in almost every way. The winter chill had arrived early, and it was cold in the mornings. At this time last year, a cardigan would have surficed, yet this year, a sheet of frost covered the lawns.

Rubbing my hands together for warmth, and I made myself as comfortable as I could on the railing.. At exactly 8:26, Ailee walked into view, shivering as she made her way towards the building. She was dressed in a warm, tan coat, and had a scarf wrapped tightly around her neck. Right as she was about to go into the building, her phone rang, and she sighed, reaching into her pocket exasperatedly.

Her cellphone didn’t get good service inside the building, so she retreated back into the parking lot. That phonecall was from no other than one of the guys, posing as the editor for an architecture magazine, and Ailee would be destracted for a good five minutes.

I picked up my sniper riffle, and looked into the sight. I bit my lip, wishing that my heart would stop pounding so hard. Ailee’s nose was pink from the cold, and she was patiently answering the questions even though it was obvious that she desperately wanted to get inside of the building. Taking out the picture of her that I had been keeping in my wallet for the past months, I held it up, and compared it to the real Ailee. She hadn’t changed one bit.     

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a car pull up cross the street. The car window rolled down, and Kang Jihoo’s face appeared, gun in hand. I couln’t believe what I was seeing. G. O. was doubting me, and had sent one of this thugs to finish the job if I failed to. I turned back to my target, and my finger tightened on the trigger as I willed myself to shoot.

Nothing happened. I couldn’t do it. While my brain was yelling at me to shoot, my heart wouldn’t let me.

I knew then what I had to do.

Moving faster than even I thought possible in the cold morning air, I bolted down the stairs, intent on saving the girl that I loved.   

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No place in the city was safe now, because G.O. had people everywhere, and I knew that we were both dead if we were found. Ailee needed medical attention for her arm, but hospitals were out of the question. Even as she sat in my passenger seat, wincing at the pain in her arm, blood started to soak through her jacket.

"Here, let me see," I commanded, pulling a scarf from the backseat. I tied it around her wound as best as I could, but she just glared at me.

"What have you gotten me into?" she asked, breath uneven as she fought the pain. "Why-what is going on?" 

I couldn't bring myself to answer her, to tell her that her biggest mistake was getting involved with me. Even then, I knew that I had to find a safe house, so I took her to the last place that G. O. and his men would look: to my childhood friend’s trailer at the edge of town.

I had known Park Sanghyun, or Cheundong, even longer than G.O. hyung. We used to live in the same apartment building way back when my parents were alive, but had grown apart after high school. Cheundong lived a simple, naïve life, and gathered scrap metal to recycle in an effort to save the world.

Even though I drove as fast as I could, Ailee was barely conscious by the time we got to the yard. Blood had soaked through my scarf, and she was losing too much blood.    

Supporting a wincing Ailee as best as I could, I helped her out of the car, and towards Cheundong's camper.

“What the hell are we doing here?” she asked, voice weak.

“Just…come,” I replied,pulling open the door.

My best friend was inside, about to dig into his dinner, and stood up in shock at our entrance. “Omo,” he gasped, eyes wide as he took in the mess in front of him. 

“I need…I need to-” My explanation was rendered unneccesary as Ailee swayed on the spot, and started to collapse.

Immediately, Cheundong rushed up to help me. He always had the kindest heart.

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“Cheundong, can you go get me some more gauze?” I handed him some random bills from my wallet, and he left without a word, still partly in shock.

I had cleaned up and bandaged Ailee's wound, but her blood lose was still at a dangerous level. She had been running a high temperature for the past 4 hours, but it had started to go down. She was going to survive, and recover with time. Still, I knew that this was my fauly nonetheless, and I blamed myself for Ailee's pain.   

 My phone rang about 30 minutes, and I picked up to reveal a distraught Mir screaming at me. “Hyung! What happened? It can’t be true-what did you do?”

“Mir…calm down,” I sighed. Mir was the son of G.O.’s uncle, the son of the man who had more or less raised me. We were as close as real siblings, and I took good care of him.

“Calm down? G.O. hyung is so mad right now, it’s scary! He said you didn’t kill the girl, and you shot one of his men. Is that true?”

“Yes.”

“Why? What were you thinking?” he stormed. 

“Mireu…” I whispered, and he stopped talking, straining to hear my voice. “I couldn’t do it, Mir. I don’t think you can understand. I love that girl. I love her so much that if she dies, I can’t live either.”

Mir was silent as he let out his breath.

“Really, hyung? You love her that much?”

“Yes, I really do.”

“What is going to happen with G.O. hyung?” Mir asked.

I knew that what I had done had made up my future. There was no going back now that I was openly defied the Boss and saved Ailee.

“I want out,” I told him. “I want out of the business.”

Mir’s voice was hushed as he thought over what I had said. “Hyung…there is no way out, except death. You can't just 'quit' the mafia.”

“I’ll find a way out,” I insisted. “Pretend that you couldn’t contact me, okay? And don’t annoy G.O. hyung since he’s already mad.”

“But what are you-where are you hyung? Do you need anything? Money? A place to stay?”

“Mir, don’t worry about me. I need to go now, and don’t try to contact me again.”

His voice was soft and sad as he answered me for the last time. “Yes, hyung. Take care of yourself,  please.”

Hanging up on Mir made my heart break upon hearing his somber voice, but it had to be done. I was getting out.

Picking up the pen from the kitchen table, I scribbled a note for Cheundong to read, asking him to take care of Ailee. I trusted his him with my own life, and I knew that I could trust him with hers as well. 

I looked around his camper, trying to find a place that he would not miss. On his bedside dresser was a picture we had taken years ago, when we had gone to the beach to celebrate our high school graduation. Seeing it brought a smile to my face, and I stuck the sticky note on the fame.

Leaning down, I gave Ailee a kiss on the forehead, a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. Her sleeping face was so peaceful, and that was just how I wanted to remember her. Forever.

[A/N]: I skipped over the fight scene because I wasn't in the mood to write it. Plus, it's in the MV. Wasn't planning on posting today, but then I realized that it was Lee Joon's birthday.  <3 <3 <3 As you can tell, I picked the pictures in the circles in the poster for a reason. the first one is Joon at the coffee shop waiting in ch. 1, and the 3rd one is Joon and the white bear.