“So this music festival project… did they really invited me to join?” Jieun asked her manager on that particular day. Her schedule for the upcoming months had just been finalised and approved recently… until this sudden invitation happened. It was so sudden that she wasn’t even sure that it was true.

Her manager nodded. “They did. And those guys insist that you should join. They even called a couple of times.”

She nodded, taking note of what was said and thought silently about it. Should she join? It seemed like a good opportunity. They must have had seen something in her that could possibly contribute to the success of that upcoming project. But would she feel comfortable joining it? Some of the members intimidated her with their variety persona. And she knew that some might not actually approve of her style of music.

“I don’t know if I should join, oppa. I don’t know if I’m ready,” she answered truthfully.

“It’s honestly up to Jieun ah, it’s your call,” her manager said. “But if I were you, I would just accept it. It could be a good stepping stone, Jieun ah, to grow as an artist. Besides, it’s a successful show and the public could get to see another side of you.”

Her manager was right. It would be a stepping stone for herself. For her career. Anything that would showcase her artistry is good. So it didn’t take long for her to say, “Yes, oppa!”

“Yes?” Her manager asked expectantly.

“Let’s do it!” It would be an interesting challenge on her part. And she knew that it would be one. She just didn’t know how much of a challenge it would be.

*

“Are you really sure that you want us to join this show for this project?” Youngbae inquisitively asked Jiyong. “Like really sure?” to which Jiyong nodded. “Aren’t you forgetting that we also have to prepare for our comeback and concerts at that time?” Jiyong was really something. They were already stacked with work in preparing for the MADE project and now, Jiyong wanted to just join it?

“Come on, it would be fun! Besides, it would be the two of us.” As much as he loves Big Bang as a whole group, sometimes working with just his best friend felt more fun. After all, they were initially supposed to be just a hip hop duo like Deux as opposed to being part of an idol group. That was part of the reason why Jiyong wanted to join the music festival. Part of. The main reason, however, was a different story.

“I don’t get it. You said you wouldn’t go again. Why the sudden change of thought?” Gosh, this would take a lot of convincing. He hoped that Youngbae would just agree to it without any further questions. Jiyong sighed. He knew it would not be an easy job.

“I know Youngbae, I understand,” he answered, trying to make it as if he was putting himself in Youngbae’s shoes. “But this music festival would be a good practice for our producing skills. I mean, do you really think that we would be on stage forever?” Jiyong was basically bull-ting himself but the words that came out sounded so intelligent that he was impressed with himself. Yea, that sounded like a legit reason. He looked to Youngbae, noting how much he was pondering about the words said. ‘I did a good job reasoning,’ he thought to himself. He almost wanted to pat himself on the back. But first things first.

It took a while for Youngbae to weigh the pros and cons. Jiyong’s words obviously played a huge factor on the decision that had came to his head. He knew Jiyong really had a point. “Okay, call!”

“I knew I could count on you, chingu!” Jiyong gave him a ‘bro’ hug - he had always been into skinship anyway.

“But I can’t do all the job, okay? We really have to work together. Arrasso?”

“Arrasso.” Now, he could mentally pat himself on the back.

*

“You’re really joining the music festival? I thought you don’t like to join those kind of variety shows,” Kiha remarked.

“I know, but I want to try out new things,” Jieun said with conviction. She just knew Kiha would be less than ecstatic about it. Things between them had been quite rocky lately, she just did not know where did it all go wrong. “Why can’t you be more supportive of me?”

“It’s not that I’m not supportive of you. It’s just that… you have just finished filming for your drama and now, you’re going to take on this long-term project,” he sighed. It’s hard to date someone who is like her. Someone on demand. Someone who was now at the peak of her career. Sure, he was happy for her success especially since she worked hard for it. But still…

Was it because they were in different phases of their lives? Was it because they were in different stages of their careers? Or was it because they were just… different. After all, as much as his band is a successful band and is well-loved by the Korean public, he never had to go through the amount of public scrutiny she had. He never went through the same amount of spotlight shone on her. He knew it was tough on her… the music industry and that’s why he knew she had to seize as much opportunities or chances as she could get. But still…

“I just miss you, Jieun ah. It’s like I barely see you lately,” he answered truthfully.

“I know, but please don’t be like that. You know that my career is so important to me. Especially now,” she replied, failing to respond to the four simple words that meant something.

“But you have to understand from my side too. You know how much I want us to just settle down.”

“But I’m not ready to give up my career just for that. You know that, oppa.”

“I know. But a man can dream, right?” He sighed before he just left without saying goodbye.

Where did all go wrong? Where did it all started? Or was the start of the relationship a shaky foundation itself? As much as she ‘liked’ Kiha - how ‘real’ he is, how genuine he is with his artistry. Someone unspoiled from the harsh music industry that he could just afford to do whatever he wants without having to face judgment of the public - sometimes, she just wished that he could… understand. What it’s like to be IU. What it’s like to have the public judged him for not just his music, but for the way he looks, the way he speaks, the way he breathes etc.

The fact that he also wanted something more than what she was ready for was another thing. As much as she liked him as a person, she was just not sure about that yet. Especially now that their fights were getting more frequent, that little voice in her head that she feared to listen became even more prominent: that it’s not him.

That he was too… different.