Seungkwan sat down on the couch next to his boyfriend with a loud sigh. He put his head back and stared at him from the corners of his eyes. “So...when are you going to talk to Chan again?”

Hansol didn't reply, but the sudden stiffness in his shoulders said enough. He didn't want to talk about it. He hadn't spoken to his friend at all since that night and had been avoiding the topic.

“I know you were angry at first, but I think maybe you directed so much anger towards him because you feel like you can't be mad at me right now or something.”

“Are you a shrink now?”

Seungkwan sat up and placed a hand on Hansol's leg, “No, but don't you think you overreacted a bit? He didn't know I was taking anything else and it's not like he actively tried to get me to take anything.”

“I've told him before that I didn't want him to give you anymore weed!”

“And maybe Chan just thought you were being an overprotective boyfriend and thought I could make my own decisions.”

“Well, clearly you...” he lowered his voice seeing the hurt look on Seungkwan's face but still finished his sentence, “...can't.”

Seungkwan bit his lower lip and nodded, his eyes cast down onto his lap, “Just talk to him, please. He feels bad enough already without you making him feel worse than he has to.”

“You've talked to him?” Hansol asked softly, not being able to shake the feeling that it was Seungkwan who he was making feel worse instead of Chan.

“Yes. Not in person, but yes.”

“OK. I'll talk to him. For you.” He leaned in and placed a peck on Seungkwan's cheek. If it helped Seungkwan feel better he would make up with Chan and if he was being completely honest he knew he had overreacted. There might also be some truth in him putting more blame on others than they probably deserved. “Are you going to have this talk with Mingyu too?”

Seungkwan cocked his head to the side, “Is he fighting with Chan too?”

“No. I mean about Minghao.”

This time it was Seungkwan's shoulders that stiffened. He hadn't told anyone yet that Minghao had been one of the people who sold him some stuff, but he supposed that they'd found out. “Is he very angry?”

“I would say so considering that he broke up with him.”

Seungkwan looked up with a jolt, “What!?”

Hansol pressed his lips together. Mingyu had asked him not to say anything. He was worried it might upset Seungkwan and he had been right. Seungkwan jumped up and marched over to the kitchen where he knew Mingyu was preparing dinner. He had been doing that almost everyday for the past two weeks. Hansol followed him to the kitchen but didn't try to stop him.

Mingyu looked up as they entered, but he didn't read the expression on Seungkwan's face and continued to chop vegetables, “Dinner will be just a little longer. I'm trying out a new recipe and-”

“Did you really break up with Minghao?” Seungkwan interrupted him.

Mingyu stopped cutting and put the knife down. He looked up at them. Hansol shot him an apologetic look.

Seungkwan took a step closer and went off on an apologetic rant, “I'm so sorry for getting him involved in my . Please don't be mad at him. I didn't get a lot from him anyway and it was all my fault for even asking.”

Mingyu scoffed. He picked up the knife again and started chopping with a lot more power behinds his cuts than before, “He could have refused. He could have told me.”

“But he didn't know the whole story. I'm sure he wouldn't have given it to me if he had known...”

“That doesn't change the fact that he was selling illegal, addictive drugs.”

It was Seungkwan's turn to scoff, “Is him dealing in illegal substances news to you?” He placed a hand on Mingyu's arm, trying to get him to look at him, “Don't just break up with him over this! If it's really about him selling drugs can't you at least talk to him about it? Maybe he'll stop. What if he-”

Mingyu yanked his arm free, slammed the knife down and looked Seungkwan in the eye, “He sold drugs to my best friend and he didn't even seem to care about the consequences. He just shrugged it off like it was no big deal.”

“Don't you love him? And don't forget what he did for you! If it wasn't for him your dad might have never gone to see your art! He wanted you to do what makes you happy, Mingyu. Don't just throw him away like he means nothing to you, because I know that's not true!”

“Don't make me out to be the bad guy here, Seungkwan!”

“I'm not. I'm just saying that he isn't the bad guy either.”

“I'll never be able to trust the two of you alone together.”

“You will. Please. I know I ed up, but I don't want you to lose him over this. I think you two are really good for each other. He brings out the best in you and I think you can do the same for him. I really do. I'm not saying he isn't in the wrong at all, but talk to him. Meet him halfway.” Seungkwan pleaded. The guilt was pressing on him and he desperately hoped Mingyu would listen. It was true Minghao probably should have known better, but Seungkwan didn't think he was as cold as Mingyu made him out to be right now. He cared for Mingyu. Seungkwan was sure of that.

“Can you two leave me alone? I need to finish dinner.” Mingyu said, his voice hoarse with emotion.

“Mingyu...” Seungkwan said softly, but he was focusing all of his attention on cutting vegetables again.

Hansol stepped closer and took Seungkwan by the hand and out of the kitchen.

Seungkwan stopped and they stood still in the middle of the living room. “Why aren't either of you mad at me? You should be mad at me...not at Chan and Minghao.”

Hansol sighed and pulled him close, “I promise I'll go talk to Chan tomorrow, okay? You were right, I overreacted a bit. Chan didn't know and in other circumstances I wouldn't have had a problem with you two getting high together. As for Mingyu and Minghao...let them figure it out. Don't put all the blame on yourself. If they can't work this out maybe they just weren't going to last anyway.”

Seungkwan took a shaky breath, “Everybody was just getting along so well and I messed everything up...what if they don't make up and other people will pick sides and then Soonyoung and Seokmin will break up and before you know it everybody is miserable and alone.”

Hansol took Seungkwan's cheeks in his hands and squeezed lightly, “Now who's overreacting? As far as I know everybody else is doing fine. Did you know that Jisoo and Seungcheol have finally stopped being so vague about defining their relationship and are now calling each other boyfriends?”

Seungkwan placed his hands on Hansol's arms and freed his face, “Oh? That's good I guess. But just the two of them? What about Jeonghan?”

“Oh, ehm, that kind of ended so it's just the two of them now.”

Seungkwan frowned and Hansol quickly added, “But it had nothing to do with you or Mingyu and Minghao! They just decided it was better that way or something.”

As if on cue Soonyoung and Seungcheol walked through the door.

“Hey guys,” Seungcheol greeted them, “What's going on?”

Seungkwan walked over to him and hugged him tight. “I love you and if you're happy, I'm happy.”

Seungcheol looked at the other two people in the room with a confused look on his face. He patted Seungkwan's hair, “Ehm, thanks? Are you okay?”

“I told him about how you and Jisoo are officially under the boyfriend label now and how it's just the two of you.”

“Oh, I see.”

Seungkwan pulled back from the hug, “Are you really okay? About Jeonghan I mean...”

“I'm fine.” His smile didn't fully reach his eyes but it was more like he knew his words would be true in the future but he just needed a little bit of time to deal with losing Jeonghan.

Seungkwan nodded and turned his attention to Soonyoung. “Please tell me you and Seokmin are still together?”

“Don't worry, Kwannie! We haven't seen each other in a few days, but he actually just sent me a , so we're doing great!”

Seungkwan scrunched up his nose, “A simple 'yes, we're still together and happy' would have been enough. I don't need to know about the weird things you do.”

“How is sending nudes a weird thing? I just prefer to pictures of my own boyfriend than to some random face.”

“Aw, that's kinda romantic.” Hansol joked, but Seungkwan still had the same disgusted look on his face.

“Don't you guys ever send nudes?” Soonyoung asked with genuine curiosity as he looked around the room.

Seungcheol chuckled and shook his head. He had no intention of answering truthfully. Seungkwan shot Hansol a look that said he would kill him if he dared to answer so he just shrugged. A smile crept on his face as he looked how Seungkwan quickly covered his eyes when Soonyoung pulled out his phone. Moments like these, where Seungkwan was interacting with his friends like usual, had become a rarity recently and Hansol cherished these moments more than before. These moments were what mattered the most.

<>

Ever since he had decided to end his relationship with Minghao, Mingyu had been distracting himself by focusing on his art and on taking care of Seungkwan. When Seungkwan yelled at him for being overprotective and hovering he had taken care of him by doing things like making dinner. As long as he had something to do the feeling of his aching heart was bearable. A few times he had considered contacting him, but he didn't. Everytime he heard a motorcycle or his phone went off he thought it might be him and he was disappointed every time it wasn't. So it was again when he was inside the house and he heard a motorcycle pull up outside. He knew it couldn't be Hansol because he and Seungkwan were out taking a walk. The doorbell rang. With his heart in this throat he went to answer it. To his surprise it was Wonwoo. Minghao crossed his arms and stood up straight with all his height, “Are you here for my knees?”

Wonwoo narrowed his eyes at the tall man, “I haven't decided yet. Can I come in?”

Mingyu stepped aside. He closed the door behind Wonwoo. “So? What do you want?”

“What I want is to know if there is any chance that you'll get back together with Minghao. Because if there is, I'd rather see it happen sooner rather than later. Honestly, he's kind of a mess. I'm sure he misses you a lot and wants to talk to you. So if you could just go to him that would be great.”

“Has he told you this?”

“No, but-”

“Right. So what exactly do you expect from me? If he feels bad and wants to get back together or something why hasn't he even tried to contact me?”

Wonwoo scoffed and looked at the other man like he had just said something incredibly stupid, “Do you know him at all?”

“I'm serious. Why should I be the one to try to make things right when he doesn't even feel bad about the whole thing?”

“He told me he came over here and apologized, but you barely even listened to him.”

“That was hardly an apology!”

“Look, Mingyu, I've known Hao a lot longer than you have and you have to understand that everything that he says with words he feels ten times stronger on the inside. If he says he doesn't completely hate something it usually means he really likes it. So if he says he's sorry and he feels bad he feels miserable.”

Wonwoo figured Mingyu wasn't much for the tough love approach so he kept his voice calm.“I get it. He's not the easiest person to be in a relationship with. But you must have doubts about this break-up or else you would have told me to leave already. So can you at least come talk to him? I'll give you a ride.”

Mingyu was quiet for a little bit longer, but eventually he nodded. He had already been on the brink of contacting him after Seungkwan's outburst, but his stubbornness had kept him from it. But this was too much to pass on.

<>

Mingyu stood in Minghao's and Seokmin's living room. His own painting still prominently placed on the wall. Wonwoo had dropped him off and all but pushed him inside when Minghao opened the door. Now they were both just standing there letting the awkward tension build up around them.

“So, ehm,” Mingyu cleared his throat, “How are you?”

“Fine. Same as usual.” Minghao replied stoically.

Mingyu clicked his tongue slowly and nodded, “Right. Well, if that's the case...if us breaking up hasn't affected you whatsoever I might as well go because I don't really see the point of me staying.” He turned around, but when he did Minghao launched forward and wrapped his slender fingers around Mingyu's wrist. Mingyu stopped in his tracks.

“Don't go.”

Mingyu turned around, but Minghao wasn't looking at him.

“I'm not fine.” He whispered. “I never used to care about what I sold to who. Even when Seungkwan asked me and I gave it to him I thought I didn't care. But I was wrong. I do care and more than that I didn't want to hurt him because you care about him. I don't want to hurt anything that you care about.” Finally he lifted his head to face the man he loved with tears in his eyes. The tears caused Mingyu to freeze for a moment. He had never before seen him so vulnerable.

“Hao, I want to believe you when you say you care. I do believe you. And I know that I knew you were doing these things before. But I guess it all got a bit too close. I don't care if that makes me a hypocrite or something, but you selling to people I don't know is different from you selling to my friends. And now...even if you never sell to anyone I know again...I can't...I don't want you selling drugs at all anymore. Not just because of the drugs itself, but it's also dangerous. What if you end up in jail?”

“I...” Minghao started, but stopped. He need a moment to steady his breathing. “...I don't know how to do anything else. This is all I know. What am I supposed to do? There's nothing...I'm not good at anything.” He released the weak grip he still had on Mingyu's wrist.

“Of course you are.” Mingyu replied softly. He reached out and took Minghao's hand in his own. “Even if you can't see it right now, there must be something you're good at or something you want to do with your life. You can always learn something or at least get a job that doesn't involve drugs.”

“It's not that easy, Mingyu! I can't just quit. There are people who are expecting me to move certain stuff and if I don't...It's possible to get out of it...the people I work for right now aren't as well organized or as hardcore as they think that they are, but it'll take some time.”

“How much time?”

“A few months maybe?”

Mingyu went over his options in his head. “What if...you start cutting your ties and while you do that we start figuring out what you want to do?”

Minghao swallowed, “What exactly does 'we' mean in this situation? I know getting out of this scene is better, but if it doesn't help me get you back...”

“If we take things slow and start communicating a bit better then 'we' means 'we' like before the break-up. Maybe we can demote it to a very big fight.” He took his other hand as well. “I've missed you. I was angry at you and I needed to focus on Seungkwan, but I've missed you.”

“I've missed you too. And in the future you can totally use me to try and bait Seungkwan to see if he's using again.”

“That's not funny.”

“Sorry...”

“Give it a few months, it might be a tiny bit funny then. No, maybe a few years. But speaking of the future. What happens when Woozi, I mean, Jihoon, is released from prison?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you used to deal in the clubs, right?”

“It's not a problem. It was more that Jihoon tolerated the drugs rather than encourage it. I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen, but I promise you that I'll stop dealing and not even he can make me break my promise.”

Mingyu smiled and wanted to kiss him, but he backed away, “Can you promise me something too?”

“What?”

“That you won't break up with me every time we have a fight. I know these were a bit of unusual circumstances, but I don't think I can handle it if-”

Mingyu looked his boyfriend in the eyes. He looked almost frightened. “I promise.” he whispered and finally connected their lips. Both of them understood there were still some issues between them, but they were going to work them out. Together.