Taeyeon has mostly managed to master the art of using her phone with it wedged between her cheek and shoulder while holding a bag in each hand and trying to open her apartment door, but this time she does it so successfully she impresses herself.

“Anyway, don’t forget to—” she’s saying to Sunny, when she takes in the stranger in her apartment. The bags slip out of her hands and her phone falls from its perch against her shoulder, but she somehow manages to catch it after a series of fumbles.

“Nice reflexes there,” the stranger says. She’s dressed all in black and has light brown hair tied in a tight ponytail. And, Taeyeon can’t help but notice, she’s very attractive.

“Wh-who are you?” Taeyeon says weakly, too shocked to do anything else. “What are you doing in my apartment?”

She tilts her head to the side. “Would you believe me if I said I happened to get lost and ended up here?” She has a very charming smile.

“No,” Taeyeon says and, recollecting her wits, slowly starts to raise her phone.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” the woman says and suddenly she’s right beside Taeyeon and has plucked the phone from her fingers. “Now, do you want to take a seat?” she says, gesturing to the couch like this is her apartment and Taeyeon is a guest.

Taeyeon glances at the door, and then back at the woman. Even though she’s slight and barely any taller than Taeyeon (and hot as hell), there’s something oddly menacing about her. Taeyeon has a feeling it’d be dangerous not to listen to her.

She flashes Taeyeon a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “I insist.”

Taeyeon sits. And somehow it’s taken her until now to see the sniper rifle set up near her window. She thinks she might faint.

The woman tracks her gaze. “Well, all my intel said you’re not meant to be back until next week and I’m sitting here using your apartment as a sniper nest to kill a bad guy. This is awkward.”

“Aw-awkward?” Taeyeon’s voice cracks. “You have a sniper rifle set up in my apartment!”

“Well, your apartment is a really ideal location,” she says, like that justifies it all. “It’s not my fault you’re back early.”

“…wait, did you just say you’re here to kill someone?” Taeyeon swallows. “I’ll have you know, my roommate is coming back any moment and she’s a-a police officer.”

She rolls her eyes. “I know you live alone. You don’t have a roommate. And none of your friends are members of the police force. Just because I messed up what time you were coming home doesn’t mean I didn’t do my basic research, geez.”

Taeyeon feels like she’s dreaming. Surely, she is and she’ll wake up any moment now. She squeezes her eyes shut and then opens them again. Nothing has changed. She pinches herself. Still the same.

The woman is looking at her like she’s watching an amusing cat video. “What are you doing?”

“I have to be dreaming.”

“Well, I know I’m pretty dreamy, but sorry to break it to you. This is reality.” She takes out her phone (she had pocketed Taeyeon’s) and examines the screen closely before returning it to her other pocket. “All right, it looks like the target won’t be at the location for at least two hours. Do you have any plans for dinner?”

Taeyeon stares at her incredulously. “What?”

“I don’t know about you but I’m getting hungry. And if you have dinner plans – well, I’m afraid that I can’t let you leave. You would no doubt tell someone and compromise my mission.” She sounds almost apologetic, but her gaze is steely.

“This is some kind of joke, right?” Taeyeon says weakly. “You’re filming a prank or some kind of reality show?” She glances around for hidden cameras but doesn’t see anything. Maybe the sniper rifle is just a prop; maybe it’s actually some kind of advanced hidden camera.

“If that makes you feel better, then sure I am.” She smiles. “Taeyeon – it’s Taeyeon, right? – you’re on…um, Sniper, No Sniping.”

If Taeyeon weren’t half-terrified, half-dazed, she would have a good laugh at that. As it is, she drops her head and has to focus on taking a few deep breaths.

“Anyway, do you have something to eat? Preferably with protein.”

“You mean you haven’t ransacked my fridge in the however many hours you’ve been here?”

“No, that would be rude,” she says with a frown.

“And it’s not rude to break into my apartment and set up a rifle near my window?!”

“Well, I haven’t moved or broken anything. If things had gone to plan, I would have been long gone before you ever came home. You wouldn’t have noticed anything was out of place.”

“Too late for that,” Taeyeon mutters. Suddenly, a new thought strikes her. “Who are you here to kill? No wait, don’t tell me.”

“It’s not anyone you know, don’t worry,” she says smoothly and then, catching Taeyeon’s expression, adds, “trust me, it’s someone who deserves to die.”

“Yeah, I’m supposed to believe the word of a—what are you? An assassin? A mercenary?”

“I’m someone who does the dirty deeds that everybody wants done but nobody wants to do,” she says absently, looking out the window. It abruptly occurs to Taeyeon that she could throw something out the window to catch somebody’s attention. She lives way too high up to jump out herself; otherwise, she might consider it.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” the woman says, like she can read Taeyeon’s mind. “I don’t like to hurt innocent bystanders, but I have nothing against knocking you out or tying you up.”

Something about those last three words reach a part of Taeyeon’s brain that had been lying dormant, or more like struck dumb, and she can’t help the heat that flushes over her cheeks.

“Oh, seems like that isn’t such a deterrent to you,” the woman says softly, half a smirk passing over her lips. Taeyeon kind of wants to die. “This really isn’t the time or place to do that though. Well, maybe the place but definitely not the time.”

She checks her phone again and Taeyeon catches a glimpse of what looks like two camera feeds. Taeyeon clears . “So, you know my name. You have me at a disadvantage there.”

“I’m pretty sure I have you at a disadvantage everywhere,” she says, openly laughing at Taeyeon’s expression. “You can call me Jessica.”

“Jessica,” Taeyeon repeats. She’s sure that isn’t her real name, but it suits her. “So, you were asking me about dinner plans, right? I was planning to make japchae. Should I save you a plate?”

“As long as you don’t put any cucumber in it,” Jessica says, eyes drifting to her phone again.

“What’s that? You want extra cucumber?” Taeyeon says as she heads to the kitchen and takes out a pack of glass noodles and then opens the drawer where she keeps her knives. She hesitates as her hand closes over the handle of her chef knife. Her heart is beating very fast.

“If you’re planning to stab me with that, you should probably get on with it before you pass out,” Jessica says idly. “I can hear your heart beating from over here.”

“I wasn’t planning on stabbing you!” Taeyeon says, her voice cracking.

“Good, because I don’t think the knife would end up where you intended it.” Jessica is half lying down on the couch now, one leg crossed over the other. She looks very comfortable. “You’d probably have better luck poisoning the food.”

“Don’t give me any ideas,” Taeyeon mutters.

Jessica smiles. “I commend you on your perseverance though. I’ve always liked women who have a little fight in them.”

Taeyeon’s heart is beating fast for another reason now. “Do you mind onions?” she blurts out just to have something to say.

“Only during a date,” Jessica says, her eyes twinkling. “I do have gum on me though,” she adds, while Taeyeon ponders the logistics of sticking her head under the tap.

Taeyeon clears . Loudly. “I’m going to chop the vegetables.”

She manages to slice the carrots and mushrooms without any problems. However, when she starts cutting the onions, her eyes start watering so badly that she almost stabs herself in the eye when she instinctively reaches to wipe them.

“Whoa there,” Jessica says, coming up to her with a concerned expression. At least, Taeyeon thinks she has one; her face is a blur through the tears. “Looks like you plus a knife are a dangerous combination in a way I totally didn’t anticipate.”

“You have that right,” Taeyeon says, blinking furiously. “Can you pass me some paper towel?”

Jessica turns around to reach for the roll Taeyeon has on the other side of the counter, and that’s when Taeyeon gets her with the Taser she keeps in the drawer beneath her knives.

“Sorry about this,” Taeyeon says conversationally as she moves an immobile Jessica onto a chair and ties zip cords around her wrists and ankles, “but I can’t let you take out Ryu Kyungjun. I mean, after all, he was my target first.”

Jessica stays silent, her expression blank but with the smallest hint of what might be betrayal.

“You’re with Coridel, right?” Taeyeon asks, without expecting an answer. “We were a bit concerned that my cover identity wouldn’t hold up, but it looks like it did its job. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll just take this back.”

She retrieves her phone from Jessica’s pocket and, on second thought, takes Jessica’s as well. Then she gives her a brisk but thorough pat-down and comes away with two Glocks, a roll of garrote wire, a knife and, most interestingly, a canister of pepper spray.

“This seems very useful,” Taeyeon says, rolling the canister around in her palm.

“Spray some into your face and see,” Jessica says through gritted teeth.

“I think I’ll pass on that. But if you’re a fan of pepper, I can add some to the japchae.”

“It must have been very fun for you, putting on an innocent bystander act.”

“Oh, it was,” Taeyeon says brightly. “I haven’t gotten to do that in a while. I was worried I wouldn’t pull it off.”

“Well, you did.” Jessica is really giving new life to the phrase if looks could kill. “Do you want an Oscar?”

“If you think I’m a good actress, you should meet my best friend. Who, by the way, is a police officer. Or her cover is, anyway.”

“I’d be delighted. Is she coming for dinner too?”

“Oh no, she’s not a fan of japchae. But you can definitely meet her one day if you join our agency.”

Jessica blinks. “What are you talking about?”

“I have an offer for you,” Taeyeon says. “My agency is a big admirer of your work. We would love to have you with us.”

“Do you recruit all your agents by tasing them and tying them to a chair?”

“Only the pretty ones,” Taeyeon says with a smile that rarely fails to work. This is one of those times, as Jessica just stares back at her stonily. “Oh, come on. I know you can break out of these any second now. I didn’t take the blade hidden in your watch strap.”

Jessica gives her a look of reluctant approval. “You’re good,” she says grudgingly. “If you were hostile I guess I’d be dead by now.”

“That would be an immense waste,” Taeyeon says. “I cut up way too many vegetables for one person.”

Jessica gives a smile that’s miles away from the one of rehearsed charm when Taeyeon first saw her. Even though Taeyeon had more or less expected her, she had still been caught off guard. Jessica had already been very attractive in her pictures (“She’s your type, isn’t she?” Sunny said knowingly, while Tiffany said, “Ten bucks Taeyeon flirts with her at least once.”), but she was somehow even prettier in person.

Taeyeon had felt a genuine sense of regret when Jessica said, “Well, maybe the place but definitely not the time.” Not the lifestyle either, her rational side warns her, and she tells it to shut up.

“You haven’t even told me what your agency is,” Jessica says.

“I thought you would have figured it out.” Taeyeon blinks. “Ryu did take out one of our agents, and well, we take these things very personally.”

“Of course,” Jessica murmurs. “You’re from SM. They always did take the cream of the crop.”

“Are you complimenting me or yourself?”

Jessica ignores her question. “And what if I say no?”

“Well—” Taeyeon spreads out her hands. “I’m afraid that I can’t let you leave. You would no doubt compromise my mission.” Jessica’s mouth quirks up the slightest bit. “But if you’re still hungry and want some protein, you can help me slice up some beef for the japchae.”

Taeyeon can’t remember the last time she cooked dinner with another agent. She stopped letting Tiffany into her kitchen after the second time she almost burned it down. And Sunny just wants to order takeout all the time. Taeyeon feels like a professional chef next to those two.

“What are you thinking about?” Jessica says, cutting the beef into paper-thin slices with seemingly no effort. Then again, people like them tend to be good with a knife.

“My friends,” she says honestly.

“Are they SM agents too?”

“Yeah.” Taeyeon sees no harm in letting her know that information. “You can meet them for yourself. My offer was genuine.”

“As genuine as your recruitment offer?” Jessica’s grip tightens on the handle of the knife. Taeyeon feels oddly fearless despite having handed Jessica a weapon while standing a few feet beside her. “You know, it doesn’t leave a good impression to play someone for a fool and then tase them and tie them to a chair.”

“Oh, come on. You need a little excitement now and then, especially in our line of work.”

“Our line of work,” Jessica repeats. “You know, I’ve heard some…unsavoury things about SM.”

“I’m sure you have. We have a lot of enemies.”

“Like Ryu Kyungjun.”

“Yes,” Taeyeon says unflinchingly. “Someone who you said yourself deserves to die.”

“It’s easy to judge that for someone like Ryu, who killed more than twenty people in cold blood. I don’t go around killing people just because somebody put a bounty on their head. Which, if I’m correct, SM specializes in.”

“So you’re saying you have standards,” Taeyeon paraphrases.

Jessica meets her eyes. “Do you?”

Taeyeon is silent for a moment. “I would say I do, but I doubt they’re the same as yours. Let’s be real, Jessica, we’re not in this line of work to play hero. At least, I’m not. If I were, I would probably have joined the police. But even the NIS have their corrupted side and I doubt they’re any better than what we do.”

“I used to be part of the NIS,” Jessica suddenly says. “A special black ops unit.”

“They let you leave?” Taeyeon asks in surprise.

“In a manner of speaking,” Jessica says with a twist of . “Anyway, there’s a reason I went private after that.”

“Lost all faith in the government?”

Jessica gives a mirthless smile. “Didn’t have much to lose in the first place. I like taking things into my own hands.”

Taeyeon looks pointedly at the sniper rifle. “So I’ve noticed.”

“Not dinner though.” Jessica looks down at the beef she stopped in the middle of slicing. “I can’t remember the last time I cooked.”

Taeyeon bumps her elbow. “Well, you’re doing a good job. Keep it up.”

Jessica gives her a look she can’t read, before breaking into another one of those small, genuine smiles. “We make a good team,” she says, before resuming her cutting. “In the kitchen,” she adds as Taeyeon opens . “And if you bring up SM again in the next ten minutes, I will stab you with this knife.”

“Okay, okay,” Taeyeon laughs. “That’d a pretty lame way to die, stabbed in my own kitchen with my own knife.”

“Exactly,” Jessica says, “but if you want to put that to the test, be my guest.”

“You really have a gift with rhymes,” Taeyeon says. “First the sniper, no sniping, then this. Have you considered a backup career in poetry?”

“Oh yeah, it’s next on my list,” Jessica deadpans. “I don’t know what would be a good backup career for you, but you can scratch chef off the list.”

“Excuse me, I think I’m doing a pretty good job,” Taeyeon says indignantly.

“You almost blinded yourself while cutting an onion.”

“That was a diversion tactic!”

“Suuuuure,” Jessica says, unconvinced, and flicks a piece of onion peel at Taeyeon before she can reply.

They almost end up getting into a food fight with vegetable peels, but being the responsible adults they are (mostly), they manage to refrain themselves.

“It looks good,” Jessica says, sounding impressed in a surprised way at their finished product.

“Now you’ll remember the last time you cooked,” Taeyeon says.

“Yeah, I will,” Jessica says, giving her a heavy glance.

Taeyeon swallows. “Come on,” she says quickly. “Let’s dig in.”

They’re about to do that when both of their phones go off at the same time in Taeyeon’s pocket. (She hadn’t returned Jessica’s phone to her, although she would have if Jessica asked for it back. She hadn’t.)

“Ryu?” Jessica says as Taeyeon returns her phone to her and checks her own.

Taeyeon takes a moment to decode Sunny’s message. She frowns. “Ryu,” she says like a curse. “Looks like he won’t be coming around here after all.”

“Do you have a read on his current location? I seem to have lost him.”

“Yeah,” Taeyeon says, showing Jessica her screen.

They look at each other and then, as one, get up and move.

Jessica wipes her hands, which are remarkably clean given what they’ve been through. “I don’t know who’ll get credit for this.”

“We can split it?” Taeyeon suggests, carefully tucking away a Ziploc bag with two of Ryu’s molars. Jessica offers her a wipe, and she takes it with a murmured thanks. “It doesn’t happen often but it’s not unheard of.”

“It’s pretty unheard of between agents from SM and a small agency.”

“You know, you could—”

“I know,” Jessica cuts her off. “I’ll think about it.”

“Okay,” Taeyeon says, disappointed but not exactly surprised. “My offer stands.”

“Which one?” Jessica says, her eyes twinkling again.

Taeyeon clears . She’s been doing that a lot. “The one to meet my friends. Maybe we can cook for them. I’m sure they haven’t had a home-cooked meal in a long time.”

“You know you told me your friends are also SM agents, right?” Jessica raises an eyebrow. “I’m sure their identities are very well-kept secrets that are worth something.”

“I trust you,” Taeyeon says simply. She could elaborate on that, but she lets it stand.

Jessica looks at her for a long moment, soft, before suddenly kicking her in the kneecap, hard. Taeyeon grunts and falls over, bemused.

“This is for the Taser!” Jessica calls over her shoulder. “And you owe me a plate of japchae.”

Taeyeon gets back to her feet, putting her weight on one leg. Jessica is already gone.

“What did I get myself into,” she mutters to herself, rubbing her knee. This is not how she anticipated a simple assassination mission, coupled with a recruitment attempt, would go…

(It occurs to Taeyeon, later, that Jessica’s sniper rifle is still at her apartment. It looks like they’ll have to meet again after all.

However, by the time she returns to her apartment, it’s gone and in its place is a note with a scrawled number and the message: This is my private number. Call me sometime. –Sooyeon

And Taeyeon smiles.)

A/N: Also inspired by ‘Wait, you’ve been hired to kill this guy too?!’ AU, although this plot twist literally didn't occur to me until I was writing Taeyeon cutting onions haha. Hope it still worked okay even though it wasn't planned from the beginning.